I just KNOW those huts arenāt warm enough

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@reikiari
I just KNOW those huts arenāt warm enough
having a 3yo brother means i get exposed to kidsā shows way more often than i thought i would at this point in my life, but man, binge watching thomas the tank engine as an adult is a wild fucking experience
all these trains (and thereās like 20 counting locomotives alone, donāt even get me started on the anthropomorphic train cabins) are MAD competitive the whole time and will constantly fuck up their own whole day by tring to prove theyāre the biggest baddest train. and like, i understand that you gotta get you plot from somewhere and i imagine plotlines like this happen in cars etc. as well, but the other day i was watching and i noticed that all these goddamn locomotives have DRIVERS in them. that apparently have no control over their trainās actions at all whatsoever. so these trains wake up, pick up their drivers, go to work, get taunted by another train whoās like āha ha i see u there with your 4 cabins but did you know i can pull SIX cabins and still fucking book it at 80mphā and the 4 cabin train will be likeĀ āfuck it i gotta prove myself now, hook me up with 4 more cabinsā and will inevitably derail themselves or some shit while the engine driver just shuts up and kicks back the whole time
i explained this to my brother and was like, is that fucked up or what, but he just pointed at the green train and wentĀ āthatās percyā so i guess thatās his take on the situation
OKAY IāM GETTING IN ON THIS BECAUSE IāM MAD AND FULL OF COLA
I worked on that show. For three hideous months of my life, I did this.
And there was this whole unwritten rule structure about the drivers and what they did and when they did it and how/when they needed to act
And there was this weird fucking balance between what the trains did and what the humans did - the drivers wouldĀ only act when the train canāt do a thing by itself. Hooking up to another car? Driver does it. Need to shift from one track to another? Driver gets out and does it. Loading up one of the cars? Drivers.
See something funny here? BECAUSE I DID. What driver would hear their sentient train sayĀ āfuck it i gotta prove myself now, hook me up with 4 more cabinsā and NOT respond withĀ āPercy just shut up and drive we have people to transport or the Health and Safety committee is going to breathe fire up both our assesā???Ā
Naw, they hear their giant fucking trains with giant fucking faces whining about how they are getting old and outdated and how they need to prove themselves by doubling their reasonable capacity and they goĀ āwelp, okayā and they get out and they hook up those cabins.
Otherwise, the trains had total autonomy to do whatever petty competitive shit the plot of the day demanded that they do. Go way too fast and end up breaking because they wanted to race a new and not outdated engine thatās actually built for speed? They do that. Go 100% the wrong direction because they wanted to show their friends a thing they got loaded up with and end up ruining it? No probbo, Bobbo. Disobey directions given by Sir Topham Hatt HIMSELF because theyāre too proud? You do the thing buddy. Strain way too fucking hard to carry 8 fucking cabins when they were only built for 4? YOU GO FOR IT YOU MORON TRAIN.Ā
SO WITH ALL THAT HEREāS MY THEORY that I had to develop because it was either that or never stop drinking ever again
Those drivers? They never speak to each other, never acknowledge the existence of any humans. They get in the train, go with the train, fix the train, load or unload the train. That is all they do.Ā
Theyāre not human.Ā
They are symbiotic extensions of the trains. They are a combination of the birds that eat parasites off hippos and fucking Boston Dynamics style robots where literally all they do is whatever shit their designated Train Of The Day deems worthy of their time.Ā
With no task to fulfil, they are thoughtless beings. WATCH THEM. They look around at nothing. They blink. Sometimes they lean on the edge of the window. 99.5% of the time, they do nothing, they see nothing, they interact with nothing. They are shaped in such a way as to avoid unsettling the real humans of the world, but are below humans in almost every way - Sir Topham Hatt never speaks to them directly in the way he speaks to the engines.Ā
If the train derails and itās possible that a human driver would be severely injured? Itās fine, because theyāre not actually human. They crumple into a heap of non-euclidian geometry and then rebuild themselves like an inflatable snowman. Their recovery is fuelled by the years of poor decisions theyāve helped enable - all this time theyāve been feeding off the intellect of these trains.Ā
Why do the trains never learn from their mistakes? Why, after more than 30 years, are they still getting stuck, taking on more weight than they should know they can handle, still derailing themselves?Ā
Because these symbiotic train extensions need their slice of the pie. They must feed. And whatās more cost effective than sandwiches? Thought. 30 years of quiet leeching, giving the trains enough processing power to do their jobs, but not so much that the trains donāt need them anymore.Ā
The trains are in a constant state of developmental hiatus because of the drivers themselves.Ā
NOW YOU MAY BE THINKING, this seems weird and unusual. Why would Sir Topham Hatt allow for this? Wouldnāt it be more cost effective for the trains to be able to learn from their mistakes and become better workers?Ā
And to that I ask you⦠from this entire operation, hauling coal, hauling people, hauling animals, being Ā āreally usefulā⦠what do the trains get out of this? They are kept alive and maintained, but neither are they allowed their own independent thought, or their own free time or interests. Everything they do is done under orders of Sir Topham Hatt.
And without the brainpower to devote to critical thought, they are unable to see how their petty struggles to be better than each other only reinforces the system where they are coerced into beingĀ āreally usefulā, above all else.Ā
WAKE UP SHEEPLE
did not expect to wake up today to thomas the tank engine discourse and unsettlingly well-thought-out conspiracy theories..but at the same time, in this day and age, i really cant say im surprised
Happened across this tonight, turns out in some cases the drivers are fully on board with the petty competitive bullshit.
source here
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Can you imagine if Junimos listened to you cursing in the farm and somehow picked up some bad wordsā¦ā¦ sfghdsnm
( feat my farmer Elijah who thinks heās going insane )
[ original idea by undeadcourier who made this fallout new vegas comic with e-de and arcade that made me laugh so much XĀ ]
[even more original post from the movie X ]
Just a visit from an old friend.
On the topic of humans being everyoneās favorite Intergalactic versions Ā of Gonzo the Great: Come on you guys, Iāve seen all the hilarious additions to myĀ āhumans are the friendly onesā post. Weāre basically Steve Irwin meets Gonzo from the Muppets at this point. I love it.Ā
But what if certain species of aliens have Rules for dealing with humans?
Donāt eat their food. If human food passes your lips/beak/membrane/other way of ingesting nutrients, you will never be satisfied with your ration bars again.
Donāt tell them your name. Humans can find you again once they know your name and this can be either life-saving or the absolute worst thing that could happen to you, depending on whether or not they favor you. Better to be on the safe side.
Winning a humanās favor will ensure that a great deal of luck is on your side, but if you anger them, they are wholly capable of wiping out everything you ever cared about. Do not anger them.
If you must anger them, carry a cage of Xāarvizian bloodflies with you, for they resemble Earth mo-skee-toes and the human will avoid them.
This does not always work. Have a last will and testament ready.
Do not let them take you anywhere on your planet that you cannot fly a ship from. Beings who are spirited away to the human kingdom of Aria Fiv-Ti Won rarely return, and those that do are never quite the same.
Basically, humans are like the Fair Folk to some aliens and half of them are scared to death and the others are like alien teenagers who are likeĀ āI dare you to ask a human to take you to Earthā.
We knew about the planet called Earth for centuries before we made contact with its indigenous species, of course. We spent decades studying them from afar.
The first researchers had to fight for years to even get a grant, of course. They kept getting laughed out of the halls. A T-Class Death World that had not only produced sapient life, but a Stage Two civilization? It was a joke, obviously.Ā It had to be a joke.
And then it wasnāt. And we all stopped laughing.Ā Instead, we got very, very nervous.Ā
We watched as the human civilizations not only survived, but grew, and thrived, and invented things that we had never even conceived of. Terrible things, weapons of war, implements of destruction as brutal and powerful as one would imagine a death worldās children to be. In the space of less than two thousand years, they had already produced implements of mass death that would have horrified the most callous dictators in the long, dark history of the galaxy.Ā
Already, the children of Earth were the most terrifying creatures in the galaxy. They became the stuff of horror stories, nightly warnings told to children; huge, hulking, brutish things, that hacked and slashed and stabbed and shot and burned and survived, that built monstrous metal thingsĀ that rumbled across the landscape and blasted buildings to ruin.
All that preserved us was their lack of space flight. In their obsession with murdering one another, the humans had locked themselves into a rigid framework of physics that thankfully omitted the equations necessary to achieve interstellar travel.Ā
They became our bogeymen. Locked away in their prison planet, surrounded by a cordon of non-interference, prevented from ravaging the galaxy only by their own insatiable need to kill one another. Gruesome and terrible, yes - but at least we were safe.
Or so we thought.
The cities were called Hiroshima and Nagasaki. In the moment of their destruction, the humans unlocked a destructive force greater than any of us could ever have believed possible. It was at that moment that those of us who studied their technology knew their escape to be inevitable, and that no force in the universe could have hoped to stand against them.
The first human spacecraft were⦠exactly what we should have expected them to be. There were no elegant solar wings, no sleek, silvered hulls plying the ocean of stars. They did not soar on the stellar currents. They did not even register their existence. Humanity flew in the only way it could: on all-consuming pillars of fire, pounding space itself into submission with explosion after explosion. Their ships were crude, ugly, bulky things, huge slabs of metal welded together, built to withstand the inconceivable forces necessary to propel themselves into space through violence alone.
It was almost comical. The huge, dumb brutes simply strapped an explosive to their backs and let it throw them off of the planet.Ā
We would have laughed, if it hadnāt terrified us.
Humanity, at long last, was awake.
It was a slow process. It took them nearly a hundred years to reach their nearest planetary neighbor; a hundred more to conquer the rest of their solar system. The process of refining their explosive propulsion systems - now powered by the same force that had melted their cities into glass less than a thousand years before - was slow and haphazard. But it worked. Year by year, they inched outward, conquering and subduing world after world that we had deemed unfit for habitation. They burrowed into moons, built orbital colonies around gas giants, even crafted habitats that drifted in the hearts of blazing nebulas. They never stopped. Never slowed.
The no-contact cordon was generous, and was extended by the day. As human colonies pushed farther and farther outward, we retreated, gave them the space that they wanted in a desperate attempt at⦠stalling for time, perhaps. Or some sort of appeasement. Or sheer, abject terror. Debates were held daily, arguing about whether or not first contact should be initiated, and how, and by whom, and with what failsafes. No agreement was ever reached.
We were comically unprepared for the humans to initiate contact themselves.
It was almost an accident. The humans had achieved another breakthrough in propulsion physics, and took an unexpected leap of several hundred light years, coming into orbit around an inhabited world.
What ensued was the diplomatic equivalent of everyone staring awkwardly at one another for a few moments, and then turning around and walking slowly out of the room.
The human ship leapt away after some thirty minutes without initiating any sort of formal communications, but we knew that we had been discovered, and the message of our existence was being carried back to Terra.Ā
The situation in the senate could only be described asĀ āabsolute, incoherent panicā. They had discovered us before our preparations were complete. What would they want? What demands would they make? What hope did we have against them if they chose to wage war against us and claim the galaxy for themselves? The most meager of human ships was beyond our capacity to engage militarily; even unarmed transport vessels were so thickly armored as to be functionally indestructible to our weapons.
We waited, every day, certain that we were on the brink of war. We hunkered in our homes, and stared.
Across the darkness of space, humanity stared back.
There were other instances of contact. Human ships - armed, now - entering colonized space for a few scant moments, and then leaving upon finding our meager defensive batteries pointed in their direction. They never initiated communications. We were too frightened to.
A few weeks later, the humans discovered Alphari-296.
It was a border world. A new colony, on an ocean planet that was proving to be less hospitable than initially thought. Its military garrison was pitifully small to begin with. We had been trying desperately to shore it up, afraid that the humans might sense weakness and attack, but things were made complicated by the disease - the medical staff of the colonies were unable to devise a cure, or even a treatment, and what pitifully small population remained on the planet were slowly vomiting themselves to death.
When the human fleet arrived in orbit, the rest of the galaxy wrote Alphari-296 off as lost.
I was there, on the surface, when the great gray ships came screaming down from the sky. Crude, inelegant things, all jagged metal and sharp edges, barely holding together. I sat there, on the balcony of the clinic full of patients that I did not have the resources or the expertise to help, and looked up with the blank, empty, numb stare of one who is certain that they are about to die.
I remember the symbols emblazoned on the sides of each ship, glaring in the sun as the ships landed inelegantly on the spaceport landing pads that had never been designed for anything so large. It was the same symbol that was painted on the helmets of every human that strode out of the ships, carrying huge black cases, their faces obscured by dark visors. It was the first flag that humans ever carried into our worlds.
It was a crude image of a human figure, rendered in simple, straight lines, with a dot for the head. It was painted in white, over a red cross.
The first human to approach me was a female, though I did not learn this until much later - it was impossible to ascertain gender through the bulky suit and the mask. But she strode up the stairs onto the balcony, carrying that black case that was nearly the size of my entire body, and paused as I stared blankly up at her. I was vaguely aware that I was witnessing history, and quite certain that I would not live to tell of it.
Then, to my amazement, she said, in halting, uncertain words,Ā āYou are the head doctor?ā
I nodded.
The visor cleared. The human bared its teeth at me. I learned later that this was aĀ āgrinā, an expression of friendship and happiness among their species.Ā
āWe are The Doctors Without Borders,ā she said, speaking slowly and carefully.Ā āWe are here to help.ā
SO! Youāve got your copy of Promare, but youāre just not feeling the subs? THEN HEAD ON DOWN TO TUMBLR.COM AND DOWNLOAD the definitive fansub files (Aegusubās *.ass format) and hookĀ āem up to your Promare video for some A++++ translations and effects :3333
Mirror A, Mirror BĀ (I promise thereās no virus with either of these sites or the file itself; if your antivirus program gives you grief, tell it to chill :P)
These are RAR compressed files (use a program like Winrar or The Unarchiver to open) containing subtitle-only files (not the movie, just the subs) for the Galo and Lio shorts as well as the main film. The timing has been polished, effects have been added, and the translation has been brushed up (the official sub that ran in theaters had some errors that have been fixed).Ā
Dragging and dropping these files into a player like VLC that is playing the appropriate video file should be all you need to do to enjoy! If you have trouble, just google how to play external subs with your video player of choice and follow the instructions.
ENJOY! Iām really hoping this will let more and more people enjoy this movie to its fullest, because letās be real IT DESERVES ALL THE LOVE AND MORE.
i imagine Masaki fanboys over The Catās Whiskers, cause, you know, cats
Edited if
Uncle Saimon and Hajun take off their glasses
Anne and Kanata w/o hats belike
PSA
I saw some people referring to Lio in their description of the movie as āantifa Yurioā and EXCUSE ME?
Blond hair
Stickler for rules
Elegant as shit
Acts like royalty
Uses fire magic
Bound (unwillingly at first) to a well-meaning idiot
Wears a cravat and a super clean uniform
???
This boy is
Antifa Wolfram
Happy Mantykes
imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and thereād be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales thereād be giant deer and just wow
you have a beautiful imagination
this gave me chills
HOLY SHIT
first of all ^^^ I love this^^^
secondly, Iāve said it before, butĀ
this is exactly what the Old World was. Off shore there was Ocean, and inland there was Forrest
Hereās an Old World tree still surviving in a modern forrest ofĀ ālargeā trees
Thatās just what trees used to be like.
And wandering among those trees, one might have encountered, yes, deer larger than a modern moose, but also, depending on what year, pigs bigger than grizzly bears, beavers the size of modern wolves, ground sloths the size of modern elephants, and bears nearly that big. Not to mention the insects and snakes and shit.
I could keep going, like, you might have crossed paths with a whole herd of these
or a family of these.
Like, 29,000 years ago, the last of the Neanderthal had just died out. Humans and this thing definitely lived at the same time.
And they didnāt live in the Forest, but there is one ice age creature thatās still alive, if you want to see what life was like back in the day. We used to think the Musk Ox was a type of bovine, or cow, which is how it got itās name. BUT. See this?
that, my friends, is an ice age GOAT. Thatās right, thatās a 900 pound GOAT. Here, take another look
anyway, yeah, the wild used to be a lot more Wild. Old Forest was definitely the inland equivalent of Ocean, and everything back in the day was turnt the fuck UP
This post was made by someoneās genetic memory of those scary fuckers
a French man will write something like āthe structured structure is structured by structuring structuresā and the academic community goes bananas
I spent a while rummaging through my likes to find this post after stumbling upon this incredible sentence in a book today:
Kuzkoās poison. The poison for Kuzko.