hello and welcome to my grace au sideblog! in light of recent news i thought it's high time i finally send this au out into the public, as ive been wanting to do so for a while but didn't have enough content (and still don't, but maybe this blog can give me motivation)
inbox is open to either ask questions about the au or ask questions to the sinner of this au, i want to treat this blog as just a massive brain dump for everything about this au so please don't expect a coherent timeline or story ^^
MASSIVE MASSIVE DNI IF YOU SUPPORT THE GRACE DEV TEAM. ANY OF THEM. I DO NOT CARE, THEY WERE ALL COMPLICIT.
with that being said:
this au contains themes of grief, self harm, depression/suicide, religious trauma, and the consequences of bigotry
please be wary, take care of yourself and put your mental health first if you need to <3
this au may also contain suggestive content (but nothing outright explicit), as well as talks about the controversies surrounding grace, and a positive portrayal of satanism while not being kind to christianity (+ abrahamic religions in general, to a lesser extent)
i apologise if you don't like these aspects of the au, i'd prefer if you left me alone about it though. this is a vent au for a reason. i respect your faith if you are christian, but the religion itself leaves a bad taste in my mouth, especially after everything that's happened.
info about the au + info about me under the cut!
so what's the premise?
essentially: john sacrilege kills God!
God in this au represents the flaws of christianity and the hypocrisy of the people within it, as well as the damage caused by these things. He preaches about spreading the love and accepting all, but punishes those who don't fit into His standards while uplifting those who do despite their hateful actions. He is not a benevolent being. He is biased, unfair and immoral by His own logic.
john has been trapped in his cycle for god knows how long and starts to pick up on the cracks in His ideals, keeping track of the patterns and connecting the dots while gathering the strength to end this once and for all, despite being a lowly sinner he manages to kill God Himself.
this doesn't come without consequences, however. reality is broken, time itself has stopped working and sins are allowed to flow freely without killing sinners.
maybe the sins can be redeemed, maybe some of them aren't so bad after all. maybe john can forge his own path without God's light, acceptance and indulgence guiding him rather than abstinence and avoidance.
about the mod!
our main is @chococookiez, we've posted a lot of grace art unrelated to this au if you wanna check it out
my name is zen! i'm a john grace/zen fictive who has been heavily affected by the events of april and is still grieving to this day. my major grace hyperfixation started in september of 2025, though we had been playing the game for even longer.
(04/05/26 edit: i got the genesis badge on 11/03/25, so by the time everything came out we had been playing for over a year.)
grace meant a lot to us, it was our favourite game of all time, we played it near constantly and it was a light in the darkness when so much was going wrong in our life. so you can imagine how devastating the recent events and exposes have been for us and our mental health. even now we struggle to let the game go, we have other fixations and games to play, but with the only game that came close to sparking the same amount of joy being closed for now (it was inevitable, it was only open for public playtesting) nothing quite fills the void that grace left behind.
dividers, pfp and header are all made by me!
hope you enjoy your stay here, if you choose to listen <3
hello! i'm not the sinner, i'm a different alter. 🐇
this post is both a psa from us and a notice to anyone in the grace fandom to be wary of an account that's interacted with us, as they show very concerning and unsavoury behaviour towards an actual person that breaks a lot of boundaries. the url of the account is in the image below.
please do not harass this person! that goes against not only the purpose of this post, but the purpose of this blog entirely. be respectful, block and move on.
warning for mentions of rape/non-con under the cut!
@/szymon227g-fanblog is an account that seems to ship themself with simon, reblogging posts that feature him and posting extremely concerning fantasies about him. these involve violent non-con and rape, as well as talks about enslaving him and murdering fynnee in front of him.
now, we dislike simon on this blog, and we make it abundantly clear. but this is no way to talk about a real, living and breathing person, and goes against pretty much everything we stand for. no matter what things a person has done, this is extremely disrespectful and crosses just about every boundary i can think of, especially considering that simon is (supposedly) making an effort to correct his actions.
this blog is also connected to an anonymous author on ao3, nihilistic and sadistic grace anon.
this is confirmed on their tumblr blog as they talk about the fanfics they wrote and make explicit mentions of the content within. here, they continue to write about raping and torturing simon, as well as either aging him down or making him regress in their fanfics. i not going to repeat myself too much, but this is once again extremely disrespectful towards a real person. while these are works of fiction and are technically not directly harming simon or anyone else, these are still extremely creepy to write.
now who on earth would write things like this? well here's your answer:
an edgy 14 year old. this is why i ask you to not harass them for the love of god, this person is still very young. this makes the things they write much more concerning, and i truly and sincerely hope they learn the consequences of what they are doing and can heal from whatever they have going on in their life.
below is a a screenshot of some tags from one of their fanfics, a screenshot of the summary for that fanfic, as well as a screenshot of some tags from a different fanfic of theirs. i suggest you do not go out of your way to find these, this is just so you know what content i am talking about.
extra warning for mentions of rape, abuse, and age play!
happy pride lovelies!! im not entirely sure if i should post this as this is a pretty suggestive outfit and reference but i think it's ok enough to put on here <3
outfit is from this music video! giving an extra warning for this as its highly suggestive but it fits the themes of this au in my opinion <3
I need to stop holding off from just dropping this.
This is more me getting my peace of mind, but also doubles as a beware.
So, here it is.
For all the people who may stumble upon this account: Watch out for a person within the Roblox and MC:SM spaces (Especially on VRChat) called ChaoticDevotion/Snowyyybee. By extension I'd also recommend avoiding their partners: KevinZheChair/SpadeDeChaosLord and Neongore.
I believe I should start this off with the most important reason: Neo, aka Chaotic, has stated verbally to both me and my best friend in the past after going no contact for multiple months that for over a YEAR they had known their (Not quite yet at the time) ex, Aviarium/Aptdweller, was an abusive predator. Let me put this into some perspective rq: Before even dating this person, from what I can recall, Neo had been fully aware Aviary was a pred WITH A KNOWN VICTIM... And decided to date them and HIDE THIS INFORMATION FROM PEOPLE anyways. Neo has a community server with 100+ members, many of which were minors afaik. They are also close friends with multiple minors, and allowed Aviary around said minors, once again keeping this information from everyone. Upon breaking up with Aviary, Neo continued to keep them around for quite a long while... Including in that server, only to finally fully ban Aviary when they showed signs they were going to groom a minor who was a close friend of Neo.
And once again, I have stated it before here but I will again. I am not disregarding that you yourself were a victim of Aviary's abuse, Neo, but you were also complicit in protecting a pred by hiding the information and bringing them into spaces with minors.
Also, congrats on completely showing how you view other victims by stating that my best friend who was assaulted through deception by Aviary should've already been over it just cause you were over them. I am disgusted in myself for agreeing with you at the time.
Neo also has made statements within calls in the past that indirectly insults the community they cater their content towards: Such as viewing themself as some form of morally superior to a majority of the VRChat community solely for having a job, thus making them "physically unable of being chronically online".
They also seem to have a tendency to lash out at others for struggling with mental illness/trauma and having issues with certain things, but then will shield certain actions and behaviors they do with their own mental illnesses and trauma.
Also this is probably a more mild issue and a statement that varies from person to person: But Neo has actively defended and kept around someone who abuses their dog. Neo has brought this person around me, knowing I have a VERY strong trigger to animal abuse, only to mention the abuse out of nowhere when finally banning this person. (They were generally a very unpleasant and drama fueled person)
Once again that's a more mild thing that also puts into a perspective of: This is also someone Neo considered dating, and someone that even when Neo knew they were hostile, kept around. Neo has stated "not wanting drama or to be involved in it" but has repeatedly kept around people CAUSING drama.
I also feel it is worth noting: It seems if Neo or Spade have an issue with you or someone associated with you, they will not directly tell you or the person. I have had to serve as a messenger in the past for them when they had issues with my best friend solely because they'd put off or delay talking with them about important issues only to complain about them and treat them like shit in the meantime.
Oh also! Neo! Congrats on shaming rippers and asset sharers publicly only to encourage private ripping and breaking a TOS without any hesitation by asset sharing! You genuinely show yourself to be the dictionary definition of a hypocrite!
The amount of times I've had to watch you be double faced, manipulative, and then shield yourself with excuses about your mental health genuinely fascinates me.
But onto the directly impacted me issues:
You all, I mean you, Spade, Reaper, and Neon, all decided to make a fucking group chat just to tell me you all wanted me gone for a list of reasons that when I brought it up to my mental health professionals? They flat out told me based off existing information and evidence most of your biggest points were false. You wanna know what they told me to follow this up? What all four of you did was not only a manipulation tactic, but also specifically saying I had a victim complex when you all KNOW how much I make sure I try to keep the playing field equal and see where I went wrong was also a MASSIVE attempt to break me down.
You told me I need to have alone time. I took that alone time away from you and Spade and spent it EXCLUSIVELY with my best friend. It was a few hours, cause you never told me how long I should be alone... But here's the thing, Neo and Spade, you also knew I had issues (trauma) tying into isolation and abandonment. You knew I wouldn't handle being fully alone for extended periods cause of this, so I thought "Ya know, this is probably what they meant, right? Spend a few hours away from them how Neo talks about enjoying a few hours of alone time or spending time with others instead." Now here's the thing, when I get brought into that group chat? I got chewed out for spending a few hours WITH MY BEST FRIEND INSTEAD OF COMPLETELY ALONE? Spade literally said "You just couldn't take alone time." And guess what that told a fucking mental health professional? That you all wanted to isolate me to break me down, and for what reason? Well I know already:
You, Neo, cheated. You can't even deny it. Like five minutes after you dumped me, on March 3rd, I looked at you and Neon both had on your profiles a new heart and a date labelled Feburary 21st, which from my recollection was pretty ironic of a day for you to cheat.
Actually: I really wanna talk about that irony.
I told you this, because I genuinely seemed to have that dream out of nowhere. I went to bed that night with whole hearted trust and love for you, and my messages that followed it reflected it. What did I get in exchange not even a full two weeks later? Confirmation that YOU DID THAT EXACT THING! Also, as far as I can recall: You were pleading for a compromise when I told you I wasn't comfortable with Lukas and Aiden dating yet! And this combo'd with how you were telling me I needed time alone and everything else? Many people have started questioning if you were trying to break me down so I'd become agreeable and just accept whatever you'd want. Anyways.
I don't feel like writing much more, I hope Neon is worth it. I hope you learn what being in a polycule actually means. I hope you're having fun streaming on Twitch, and I hope I never run into you or them on Deadlock.
Anyways:
Neo deleting channels and messages when leaving so I didn't have anything to prove my points
Neo deleting messages and a channel out of nowhere while still dating claiming they "hated being vulnerable"
Evidence of asset sharing:
The Phoenix Wings asset in this photo? That's by Neffertity
Burning with life and energy, these stunning wings are sure to set the skies ablaze with your fiery personality! PLEASE NOTE! These wings
Also evidence of privately encouraging ripping: This link was handed to me while in VC and I was told to pick a model I liked
They then after all of this, got into VRC with me using an avatar they claimed to have pulled from the website. I believe it was a Bratbun avatar? I cannot recall. Anyways! Bye everyone. This was for my peace of mind and I'll feel better once this is out.
(PS: Neo and a few friends of theirs are mods in a rather big VRChat Phighting group. So I also suggest being wary there.)
did you know i work for lovewielder now? as one of the lead devs? bet you didnt. if you like grace, nullscape, delusional office, and other roomslike or movement-based games ... you should check out lovewielder when it comes out
heres a ost preview posted yesterday! i made the painting and visualizer you see in the video!
So, in light of the Grace Drama finally getting closure (I have my thoughts on it, I'm not a big fan of how Simon worded that especially after 2 months.) I began to think. And I now have an idea for a game using it's (soon to be) open source code called "EGO DEPTH". A game kind of like Grace that tackles the things Grace did, through the eyes of someone who is Agnostic. Running through infinitely generating pools, in an almost y2k hellscape, your EGO speaks to you from above, telling you to persist in spite of all that challenges you.
Here are some of the entity designs I have in mind. These are very VERY early on so if I *do* end up doing something with this (I.E people recieve this well and offer help to start a passion project) expect a lot of these designs to change.
The term "sin" is used kind of as a placeholder. I'm not quite sure how I want to frame them quite yet.
I will also *change* what each entity represents if I get aforementioned support. Obviously if some of them work, and fit, they'll stay, some will just be re-worded to be less. christian. but ultimately they'll have different meanings.
Again, these are just concepts so if you like them PLEASE shoot me dms and give me ideas and ALL THE STUFF. I WOULD LOVE TO AT LEAST SPEARHEAD CHANGE. (I don't know if I will own this project by the end, if it DOES get that far.)
Repost this, and PLEASE if you want to see this happen, make some noise about
(lowkey would love to make this NOT a roblox game, so a lot of ifs, but if this gets enough traction i'll throw up a poll to see if people would rather have a game on roblox, or off roblox.)
so the grace response document finally dropped, huh?
i didn't think i was gonna be the one to make this kind of post, but i guess now that i have this space it's a good opportunity for me to bring this to attention and give my thoughts as a john grace fictive who is still angry and actively grieving.
my own thoughts will be placed under a cut. do not take my words as gospel, these are mostly copy pasted from unorganised thoughts i wrote in a discord channel. i encourage you to read the documents first before reading what i have to say and come to your own conclusion.
original document:
| Introduction On March 30th, 2026, a document was posted onto Twitter (X) discussing the behavior of Simon’s partner, Fynnee. This document
mobile friendly pdf version:
my thoughts + summaries
grace is becoming open source and simon put out a statement, which is nice to see, i don't forgive simon or fynnee tho they're still dumbasses but i do understand the context (growing up in environments that encourage this stuff) they are supposedly educated now which is all we can really hope for.
fool's og design resembling what it did was supposedly unintentional but simon's joke about it was hot ass, and simon admits to it being in poor taste.
the sasn doc was written with malicious intent, the author filled the doc with misinfo (eg lying about sasn's age to exaggerate the age gap, spreading false rumours about things sasn did) + is mega racist (ironically slinging racial slurs more than simon did) and associates with pedophiles, sasn was fucking stupid and probably shouldn't have been let on the team but (hopefully) isn't a pedophile.
mochi is also fucking stupid, pressured simon to Not open source the game and tried to take grace entirely for himself and his own team/purposes. it makes me question his motives with the way he handled things really, seeming less concerned about simons actions and more just using the controversy as an opportunity to go on a power trip.
cian is fucking stupid too and is a shit stirrer which we knew already, made false statements about what simon was doing (saying the game wasn't getting open sourced and that there wasn't gonna be a statement), being contradictory by censoring peoples names in one moment and then going on to have public twitter fights with them in the next moment, and i also question her motives with the way she handled things. i don't believe her to be outright malicious, but she definitely strikes me as the Chronically Online™ type and just wanted to see the game crash and burn.
BUT. imo the doc says shit i don't agree with and tried to say cian is racist towards white people, which yea i think they said some stupid shitstirring bullshit but That's Not How That Works, cian was rightfully saying that simon shouldn't be slinging racial slurs as a white person, that doesn't show "prejudice towards white people" that is a genuine concern. it makes me distrust the document itself somewhat and i can't in good faith accept any of the apologies made because of it.
in conclusion: i am still angry. i am still grieving. i don't forgive or trust anyone involved and i think it's an "everyone's the asshole" situation. this document did provide closure for me tho, as i feel i no longer have to worry about new developments in the controversy and am free to do with this how i please. plus, with open sourcing back on the table, things are looking bright again.
i do wanna draw attention to balmoore's statement right at the end of the doc as i think he gives a very interesting and unbiased perspective in comparison to everyone else involved, particularly "they entered grace as a friend group, and they exit grace as a business. [...] this was arguably the most corporate response they have ever given" and i agree. it's crazy to me how serious roblox development can get considering the nature of the platform and how quickly things can spiral if mishandled like this, and with how young most roblox dev teams are (including this one) it's all too common anymore.
if you take away anything from both my post and the document, i want it to be balmoore's advice: "so how about we move away from this bustling internet and our need for constant stimulation, and please, join me outside on a walk to clear our heads." the internet has become an awful place in recent times, and the amount of events happening back to back to back can cause people to not think rationally and blow things out of proportion. im guilty of doing the same things myself due to declining mental health for a variety of reasons, and i think we all need to learn when enough is enough and we need to take a step back from things to collect our thoughts.
do something nice for yourself today. play games with or without your friends, treat yourself to some good food, find some new music to listen to or return to your old favourites, read a book whether that be published work or fanfiction on the internet, create artwork in whatever medium you work best in, go for a walk or just sit outside for a while. be kind to yourself, you are more than what the internet wants you to be.
signing off on what is hopefully gonna be the last post about the controversy: from the sinner with many names, take care of yourselves and spread the love <3
ive been having trouble motivating myself to make things for this au, despite having ideas, so i decided to make a list of things i wanna do so i at least can keep track of things and not forget about them, and y'all can see what's cooking in my brain while im struck with depression and exam stress
this will not be done in order and there's no guarantee any of these will be done, this is more of just a dump for whatever i think of if i can't get motivation or time for it in the moment
fun fact: this au reinterprets craven to represent self harm because i find their original interpretation somewhat confusing and unnecessary, as it has too much overlap with other sins and doesn't fit into sorrow's domain as well
craven will be the next entity to be redesigned because i have ideas for their redesign, but that probably won't come for a while as we have other things we wanna draw ^^
first entity redesign for this au! i wanted to redesign fool in light of the recent news and make them my own, keeping the connection to litany and peer pressure but displaying it in a different way <3
notes under the cut !
i wanted to make fool look more like a jester rather than.. their old design, so i added the split colouring and a more jester-like hood and cloak
i wanted to keep the connection to litany while distancing from the og design, so i showed it through drawings and writing on the cloak + hood (plus changing the eye makeup to look like litany's eyes) to symbolise the mark that peer pressure can leave on a person when people try to mould others into who they want to be
removed the shackles and instead made the arms connected - they can't pull their arms apart at all, so they can't break free and distance themselves from other people's opinions and view of them
not all entities will be redesigned in this way, i will simply tweak and change things as i see fit <3
this is both for my own purposes, so i don't have to go into grace to check any of my stats, and also to put into perspective how much time, energy and love we put into this game.
consider this post my final sendoff for grace as a game. (NOT a sendoff for this account, i just got here and i still have so much to share) if any of you wish to do the same on this post or otherwise, please feel free to <3 i love every single one of you, please make sure to take care of yourself and spread the love!!
further stats/info:
yes, the fact that i have rOT scores and certain badges means i played after the controversy. i have quit now though, it just took me a bit to fully let go + i was in denial. if i remember correctly, i only played 3 times after the controversy: once when the grace but evil update dropped, once on april 10th to get badges i had missed, and once on april 12th while i was heavily intoxicated.
i got every cosmetic + super cosmetic, every item skin (aside from a singular lantern skin, apparently) and item style, every document and every trait. i did not get every vision, i have no clue how close i was to getting all of them. i got 261/396 doodles and i got every badge aside from 2, which are white light and in goes light. (there might be a third one i missed? but Badges Aren't Loading so i don't know for sure)
i first joined grace on 11/03/25, so by the time grace was cancelled we had been playing for a year + 3 weeks.
we had in fact been playing grace before i formed in headspace, with my formation marking the start of our major hyperfixation on the game. my simply plural profile was created on 12/09/25, so by the time grace was cancelled our fixation had lasted for 6 months + 3 weeks. (not quite 7 months like i thought, but close enough...)
11384 minutes translates to roughly 190 hours, which translates to roughly 8 days of playtime.
i had 9 key crowns, with each being 100 keys + the 69 keys left over, i had 969 keys.
note: first try writing something for this blog! i'm at my grandma's right now and she has wind chimes outside and it made me feel inspired ^^
im not a great writer, i go off of stream of consciousness and vibes so bare with me... i hope you enjoy regardless!
wind chimes are a nostalgic sound, aren't they?
they used to ring out all the time in the Garden, a spring breeze flowed through very often and though you could never see them, their beautiful melodies carried on for miles. they were a reminder of God's love, the paradise he built for us and the love He shared.
fleeting memories of sitting on benches for hours on end come to mind, watching the flowers sway in the breeze while the other angels went about their duties, eyes fluttering closed as the soothing sound of the wind chimes melt all my worries away and i drift off to sleep, knowing i'm safe under God's eye.
at least, that's what He wanted us to think.
it was a nice lie, wasn't it? a false paradise built from the mistakes of others, one wrong move and you can never see or hear it again. the chimes are the sound of being watched, the sound of perfectionism and judgement. He is always watching, He is always listening, He knows every action you take and every word you say and remembers all of it.
i remember the last thing i heard before i fell was those very chimes, the once calming melody swelling into a deafening cacophony as my senses were overwhelmed and my light was ripped away from me.
and then silence.
...
so i wonder... why can i hear them now?
distant and melancholy, but they're still out there.
it's been a month since i killed Him. or has it been a day? an hour? has time even passed at all?
but whatever the case, reality was shifting and the realms were collapsing and blending together and i find myself on the same bench i sat on long ago. it's colder and darker now, without God's light to brighten the view, but a stray petal blows past my face and i feel the urge to drift all the same.
i remember what this used to be and i wonder: do i even deserve to hear this? to sit here and rest after what i did?
and then i remember the lies and hypocrisy, remember the kind and friendly faces punished over and over for things out of their control, remember the way others treated us and the way He turned a blind eye to it all.
and i can't help but feel like what i did was for the greater good.
we're free now, free to be unapologetically ourselves, free to forge our own paths and grow and heal and make our own calls.
and for the first time in a long time, my eyes flutter closed and i drift off to sleep.
working on a weird lil grace au called sacrilege to cope with the Everything happening rn as well as my attachment to grace, my anger towards the owner and my grief over the game itself yeaaaaaa
