Why hello there. @releasethekrakenexclamationmark - Tumblr Blog

My NSFW Catgirls zine.

Guy who has wandered through the halls and corridors of your body not with any special kind of love but with the untold intimacy of a contractor assessing the damages and potentials voice: right, so the main issue here is that the body is currently a temple, okay, and what we want is for it to be a home, cause temples are pretty and all and occasionally nice to be in if you're into that sort of thing but very few people would actually want to live in one. So what we're gonna do first is you're gonna take a look at what's here, the carrying walls and windows and all that, and you're going to come up with something you'd actually like to be alive inside of, and it's going to be a lot of work and it's going to feel strange and stupid and embarrassing but you're still gonna do it, because otherwise this construction site is fucked. And maybe what you want to live in is a skatepark or an anime-themed cat cafe or an esoteric library that has a dildo section for some reason, so it might feel like it's a downgrade from a temple, but it's actually the opposite cause the main customer for a body is you and the main customer for a temple are templegoers and maybe higher powers of some kind, - i wouldn't know about those, they never hired me, - not the temple itself, which is what you are, right, cause the body/mind/soul separation doesn't actually do anything, so what you're gonna do is look at the current layout and dig out whatever hope and ability to want you have and come up with a blueprint, and then my boys can actually get to work. Oh, and you have got to change the windows, it's drafty as fuck in here.

noodledragonsoup

@funnier-as-a-system

booksandchainmail

#all profane means is ''before the temple'' (pro = 'in front of'; fanum = 'temple')#a temple is the one unique space that is carved out from the whole world. the only way to travel into the temple is via ritual#nothing was ever supposed to live there#it was the conduit. the live wire to some other place - the sacred (sacrare = 'to make holy; to set apart')#nothing can live alone and clean and pure#you have to build a life outside the temple. profane that it is (tags via @thoughtsformtheuniverse)

omtai

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

making-friendos

Local goat discovers joy of painting

striders

encountering an inconvenience while cold: damn that sucks, oh well, i’ll figure something else out!!

encountering an inconvenience while hot: we all deserve to die right now, come on everyone, lets all go die

omtai

Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.

slut-jpeg

snoopy image of the day

what-even-is-thiss

If you have some leftover Brie from your fancy cheese party or whatever you should put it on toast with some strawberry preserves.

what-even-is-thiss

You’ll feel bacchanalian levels of pleasure and indulgence if you do this, trust me. Even more so if it’s on fresh bread.

what-even-is-thiss

Also if you eat those little babybell cheese things, put some honey or fruit preserves on it to microdose on this same feeling.

elymaiis-deactivated20250925

do this with white stilton and blueberries to unlock secret flavours and feelings

what-even-is-thiss

I’ll keep that in mind the next time I’m in the cheese section

objectlessondujour

If you have soft goat cheese or just cream cheese, try a creole influenced thing where you mix marmalade and horseradish in equal portions and put that over your block of cheese, serve with hot bread or toast or crackers and if ya nasty get a little wine

what-even-is-thiss

You’re all falling for my trap and giving me even more wonderful new cheese ideas please never stop

crowtatoes

Great news! make cranberry jam. add brie. if you want to be extra fancy, make a nice crust, spread a little brie on it, then pile the jam on top. fancy pie. (i did this + orange whipped cream, it was amazing)

marvelousmatt

thesuperheroesnetwork

Texts From Superheroes

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997

that-twink-over-there

lilianlies

nohoperadio

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.