The way that Stede cultivated found family aboard the Revenge will forever have me placing that middle-aged man in my pocket. We've yet to see how this crew came to be aboard the ship, but from the get-go, Stede's goal here has been to prevent trauma, facilitate love, and frankly? Protect these guys. He:
Refutes the toxic pirating culture of keelhaulings, beatings, and so forth.
In its place, he encourages 'talking things out as a crew' and being out and open about their honest thoughts. Even when these critiques jab at Stede himself, he never skirts them, doesn't refute them. Instead, he genuinely listens to what they're saying (and bearing in mind his low confidence- has a tendency to agree a little too whole-heartedly.)
In episodes 2, 3, and 7: the crew gets let out to go have largely unsupervised 'them time.' In episode two he specifically regards it as a vacation and encourages rest and relaxation, although there are easily 101 tasks to be accomplished even with the ship at a stand-still. Stede's privileged enough to understand the benefits of a break and wants to extend that to his crew.
Offers genuine wages. We all know this one, but let that sink in for a moment. He didn't want them fighting for scraps between raids that never happened, it was crucial for him to pay out of his own pocket for this ragtag bunch so that they wouldn't be fighting for more than just their lives.
Offered up his entire library to his crew. This may not seem tremendous, but I cannot emphasize how utterly mindblowing a concept that is. Those are his treasured objects, his coveted folly of a library, and he trusts this crew enough that he'd share those with them with a freaking GRIN on his face.
Upon learning that the above offering fell short on account of illiteracy, Stede reads them the stories instead. Every night, on the deck; Stories that were likely on board for his own children. (He even does the voices!!)
Is just so damn proud of them. The aftermath of their fuckery in episode six? That right there was a proud dad after his kids' first school play. He was even gushing to Ed about Swede's singing ability, seconds away from possibly being murdered. This fuckery wasn't a selfish flight of fancy for him- he was genuinely excited for every last one of them to give their performance. + the look on his face when they got together in episode nine to save his tailcoat?? Heart-filling shit.
People have talked about how Stede took the crew on as an adopted family in absence of his own, and sure there are elements of that in here, but at the root of Stede's pirating journey, he wanted to create a space that was welcoming and safe for his crew. He wanted to show that you can gain respect and facilitate care without abuse and toxicity. Pirating doesn't need to be a heartless, loveless place.
By episode nine? He proved everyone right :)