Ren @renthebatnerd - Tumblr Blog

zoesupreme

I have started following the journey of a German soccer fan in the US for the world cup

zoesupreme

@laeffy the euros have found buc-ee's

zoesupreme

no-sharks-on-the-sun

rudjedet

Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost

The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction

The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity

We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either

Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender

The gods didn’t actually have animal heads

Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)

The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous

Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”

thatlittleegyptologist

The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit

rudjedet

‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”

While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago

The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved

rudjedet

The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum

Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose

Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards

Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”

The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)

rudjedet

While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition

It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that

Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass

rudjedet

I can’t believe I forgot my favourite Hill to Die On

Seth was not the god of “evil”, and despite his chaos providing a foil to order, he wasn’t completely villified until very late in Egyptian history, when he became associated with despised foreign enemies

rudjedet

Hats off to the few of you who’re reblogging this with tags saying you’re going to check my claims later. You make me not entirely despair of this hellhole.

Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:

Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids

Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt

Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt

Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt

Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization

Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt

Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt

Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt

Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)

McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt: Laundry Lists and Love Songs

Te Velde, H., Seth, God of Confusion

rudjedet

Guys do me a solid and reblog this version instead of continuously asking for sources on the other versions thanks

chronic-backpain

Excuse me please post ancient erotica link

rudjedet

hey it’s not my fault people keep reblogging the version without it!

renthebatnerd

Omg we learned about so much of this an my anc hum class and it’s so cool

greeniery

everything’s gonna be okay allegedly

doublism

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

servicebunny

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

doublism

i don't really think it's like that at all

hiyari8

they should invent activities for sleepy people with no energy

renthebatnerd

God, I know I used to be into panic at the disco but I did NOT need to pass out in a hot tub to prove it

renthebatnerd

I got a 90% on that test- maybe I should pass out in hot tubs more often 🤔

#ren-originals

yujateaandpi

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

00000066

God, I know I used to be into panic at the disco but I did NOT need to pass out in a hot tub to prove it

#omfg #hangover #so sleepy #I have a fucking test today too #goddammit #ren-originals

tpwrtrmnky

When politicians say "we gotta appeal to the working class" you have to keep in mind that in their imaginations, the working-class person is basically a form of ogre-like creature whose existence consists of backbreaking manual labor and seething with Every Single Bigotry.