kieren walker:

18th march 1991 - 30th november 2009 i am a partially deceased syndrome sufferer and what i did in my untreated state was not my fault.

[inboxmemethings-deactivated2015]

Angsty Sentence Starters

Are you just going to disappear on me again?

Are you saying that this is my fault?

Don’t pretend like you ever cared.

Everything was a lie, I was just using you.

Forget you ever met me.

How could you leave me here?

How long have you known about the affair?

I always knew I’d end up hating you.

I don’t think I can trust you anymore, or ever again.

I hope you never forgive me for what I did to you.

I needed you and you weren’t there.

I never want to hear your name again.

I remember when you made me happy, I don’t know what I was thinking.

I should have never trusted you.

I thought you said you’d never hurt me.

If this is goodbye, make sure I never see you again.

It was fun while it lasted, but I can’t do this anymore.

Just the thought of being around you makes me feel sick.

People have died because of you!

Please tell me what I did wrong, what I can do to fix this.

There’s no such thing as love, at least not between us.

Was everything a lie?

We used to have something great and now I can’t get far enough away from you.

We’ll never be able to go back to how we were.

What about all those nights, do they mean nothing to you?

What we had meant nothing to me.

You can’t just walk away like nothing happened!

You never want to see me again?

You used to give me hope and now you give me nothing.

You’re so caught up with impressing everyone that doesn’t matter.

[renwlkr]

the past couple of days i've been really getting into marvel and stucky ????? i'm so upset ????? and hardly anyone even rp's them ?????

[renwlkr]

reblog if it’s 100% okay for mutuals ( or anyone ) to tag you in a starter

[alliebringsthepop]

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[renwlkr]

wintersleep - dead letter & the infinite yes

I feel it coming, I think it’s real and significant  I think I think I think a little too often  That’s what my therapist said  We’re alone in this wilderness  Left to choke on the pills and to feed on the viruses  I think it’s coming and it comes so fast 

[renwlkr]

disciplx:

Simon can’t pretend it doesn’t mean something to have Kieren lean into his touch; the way he’d been rebuffed last time isn’t exactly some lasting, sore memory, but to have it different now - to see Kieren coming towards him and instead of away from him - sets a warmth in his chest that makes him smile at Kieren with what he’s entirely sure is too much affection. Like maybe everything will be worth it if he can just keep his hands on this beautiful boy.

"Today," Simon says, without really thinking about it, then clears his throat and gathers up the idea in his head to explain it to Kieren. "We could leave… today. Pack a bag and just get on the train and keep going until we see a stop we like." A song hums at the back of Simon’s mind, come get lost with me, slip away discreetly, you’re my love so come away with me — "And come back whenever you’re ready."

And that was the condition of things, really, part of the deal where Simon goes where Kieren goes - if Kieren never wanted to come back, wanted to go be a starving artist in Paris or Berlin — Simon would go with him. He wonders why that doesn’t frighten him, the depth of dedication he’s given to Kieren in so short a time. He wonders if it frightens Kieren sometimes.

He pushes the thought back. It doesn’t matter right now. “We could go now. If you wanted.”

Whenever you're ready. Attention to you're. Times like this, it really dawns on him the length to Simon's affection and whilst he's beyond relieved that how he feels could possibly be reciprocated in any way -- such devotion in such little time; it's still overwhelming to witness. Though not overwhelming in a bad sense. A 'how did I even land myself such a beautiful human being' kind of overwhelming, the kind of overwhelming that sits at the bottom of your gut and eats away at every dissatisfied part of you. The kind of overwhelmed that catches you in your solitary moments whilst there's no-one else around and draws a smile up onto your face just because.

One word. "Now." Of course now. They could be gone this second and it wouldn't be a moment too soon. He didn't need anything else; he had Simon.

The kiss he next places on Simon's lips is unlike the two prior; this time brief, just the most fleeting press to the corner of his mouth, thumb at the inside of his elbow whilst his fingers curl around his arm. It's barely even a few seconds before he's dropping back from where he'd subconsciously lifted himself up onto his tiptoes, one more kiss being pressed to the corner of Simon's mouth before he's turning; heading for the door leading out onto the roads of Roartan with what can only be perceived as smugness in the secretive upwards curve of his lips. 

[thewolvesiandii]

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[renwlkr]

Wintersleep - Listen Listen Listen

And even if the words don't sound right, I will love you till the day my heart dies, till the day my heart dies.

And even if this ain't the right light, you're prettier than anything, you're prettier than anything that I'd prettier than anything that I'd write.

[renwlkr]

undeadxdisciple:

"I’m trying, I’m trying… Really am." It was the truth, of course, he truly wanted to help Kieren out and sit still so that his work would turn out the way he wanted to, but it was a difficult task. All he wanted to do at that moment, was to remove the portrait so that he would be able to look at the other, which was something he enjoyed doing, despite it being something he often did without realizing it. Whenever Kieren appeared from behind the portrait, Simon felt excited and couldn’t help but move ever so slightly because of it. He wanted to see the portrait, but finally being able to move around freely again seemed like something to look forward, too. The moment Kieren spoke up, he got to his feet, curious to see what he had created. He stood beside him, placing a hand to his shoulder and said, “You’re very talented, Kieren. I hope you realize that.” Of course, he was extremely proud of the result, but he would’ve been no matter how good or bad it had turned out. “What are you going to do with it?”

If blushing were within his capability, Kieren was sure his cheeks would be aflame right now, but as it were, instead he just presses his lips together to catch the smug smile that threatens to draw up his mouth. "I don't know. Stick it to my ceiling. Lay in bed. Stare at it for hours on end." 

A beat. "I'm joking."

He looks up through his fringe at Simon beside him, eyes revealing every facet of adoration he has for the man, before shrugging, gaze turning back round to the painting. "You can have it if you want." His voice is small, hesitant this time. "I can always make more." After all, if he were picking up painting again, what better muse than Simon? Already he had a million and one paintings of Rick and whilst he was -- and always would be -- important to him, this was the start of a new chapter. He had to move on eventually. "If you want it, it's yours."

[renwlkr]

bemoregeous:

A light smile spreads across her lips as he climbs her way toward the supposed unknown. As she lands, Amy turns on her heels to face her BDFF. Lifting her fingers, she notions for him to follow. “C’mon Kieren! If you let every obstacle that tells ya that you can’t do somethin’ get in your way, then you’ll never get anywhere!” She calls, stepping backwards to continue on her journey.

"Well, if anywhere's a trip back to the rehabilitation centre for trespassing maybe I've got the right idea." His words are sarcastic and sulky albeit half-hearted as he scrutinizes her with pursed lips and furrowed brows. Eventually hefting a heavy sigh, disapproval gives way to reluctance and he joins her with an uncoordinated hop over the gate himself. "You're a bad influence." He mumbles after her distancing figure, voice just loud enough for her overhearing to be ensured.

[lxckwolf-archive]

Sentence Memes.

[renwlkr]

"You belong to me."

"I found you."

"I’m in jail."

"You make me so hot."

"I have to leave."

"Please don’t leave."

"And what about our parents?"

"Who did this to you?"

"You shouldn’t have done that."

"What happened last night."

"We never tell anyone about this."

"So, you want to play games?"

"Does that require pants?"

"Lets just have a lazy day."

"Then go kill the bitch."

"I’m pregnant."

"You broke me."

"Don’t touch me."

"You can’t fix this."

"There’s nowhere we can hide."

"I’m not listening."

"Who do you think you are?"

"I don’t need you here."

"Did I fall asleep?"

"A little evil goes a long, long way."

"I will not die."

"I don’t care."

"I have no regrets."

"I feel numb."

"All monsters are human."

"You look beautiful, but you don’t look fine."

"How many time have I told you to be more careful?"

"Let’s get you to bed."

"I can’t even look at you, you promised not to get into any more fights!"

"Are you crazy?”

"Do you trust me?"

"How did you escape?"

"Is that blood behind your ear?"

"Take. This. Off. "

"What’s in it for me?"

"What’s in it for you?"

[renwlkr]

half of me wants a thread where kieren gets high w/ someone and just gets hyper and giggly and starts randomly kissing cute boys but another part of me wants kieren to get shot in the woods by some hvf person thinking he's a rabid and for someone to be there and hold him and for there to be lots of ugly crying

[cecilos-archive-blog]

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putting the dog to sleep // the antlers

my trust in you is a dog with a broken leg tendons too torn to beg for you to let me back in

[merlns-deactivated20130906]

"It walked like him and it talked like him but there were tell-tale signs. Sticking up for the likes of you, that’s when the scales fell."

[dee-lov-deactivated20180622]

masquerade ball au

masQUERADE BALL AU

MASQUERADE BALL AU

MASQUERADE BALL AU

M A S Q U E R A D E   B A L L   A U

MM AA SQUEAR ADE BALL AU

[badassxoutcasts-archived-deacti]

Fellow Sufferer // Closed RP

[renwlkr]

badassxoutcasts:

Hm. Kieren. That’s an interesting name. He thought to himself before he pulled away from the handshake a few seconds later. He understood what it was to be suicidal. Whenever he would have his episodes, he panicked and constantly thought he’d be better off dead. But those only lasted a few minutes. It took him three years to finally do it. So, he could relate. It was nice to relate to someone else. He never felt like he could before. He was a monster, how could a monster relate to anyone? He realized he wasn’t focusing on Kieren talking and turned his attention back to him. “The thing is, I’m kind of scared they’ll hurt me. It’s funny really, considering I used to hurt people in my last life. I figure it’s better to just stay inside. This is my punishment, ya know? Now, I understand some of the fear the people felt when I…I…” He couldn’t say it. 

"Scared? You have a right to be scared. Sure, during the rising we all did some bad things... really, really bad things" Afflicting guilt threatens to sway his line of speech but he chokes it back down; remains resolved as he continues. "--but we were untreated back then. It's the people here now who are fully aware of their actions that are so terrifying." He pauses, lips pursed slightly whilst deliberating how best to express what he wants to say next without sounding like just another doctor from the treatment centre. "But that doesn't mean we have to abide by that. We shouldn't have to be scared or feel threatened due to the happenings of two years ago; let alone our past lives." He pointedly looks at Thomas then. "I think the world has enough oppression and discrimination to pass off for as punishment, y'know? You're not who you were in your past life, Thomas, and that's okay."

[badassxoutcasts-archived-deacti]

Fellow Sufferer // Closed RP

[renwlkr]

badassxoutcasts:

Thomas grinned as he spoke. He liked the way he thought. The whole situation was rubbish, but none of them should  have to give into what the “normal” people wanted. They should be out and about and doing things that everyone else was. It shouldn’t matter that they were PDS sufferers. His situation was a little bit tricky, but that didn’t really matter. No one in this town knew who he used to be, what he used to do. No one really ever knew. He offed himself before anyone could find out. “My name is Thomas..previously a sociopath and still working on it. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hand for the other to shake. He didn’t feel the need to hide with this person. He was trying to get better after all. This was his second chance at being the person he wished he could have been. 

"Hi Thomas: Kieren. Previously a suicide-driven, love-sick teenager. Also still working on it." Another bout of self-deprecation, yet this time it's met with the brief flicker of a smile-going-grin. Sociopath; huh. Well, it wasn't that long since the two of them had been rabid and trailing up and down the place like goddamn cannibals, or -- even better --, like your everyday clichéd horror flic zombies. Who the hell was he to judge? Reaching across to accept the other man's hand in the firm grip of his own, he managed another attempt at friendliness with a small smile. "So, how's the PDS life treating you?" It's small talk but it's still talk, and God knows Kieren could use a bit more of that. "Y'know, you don't have to keep hidden; cooped up and not going out. Who cares who sees you; let them judge -- you've got nothing to hide."

[badassxoutcasts-archived-deacti]

Fellow Sufferer // Closed RP

[renwlkr]

badassxoutcasts:

"You’re a PDS sufferer too? Huh…I’m surprised you’re out and about. People around here are really judgmental, you know. I would go out too, but I have a feeling I would end up shooting too many people." He said simply and shrugged. 

"Yeah, well, a friend of mine recently taught me there's no point hiding who we are. People are always going to be judging of anything that doesn't fall into the categories conventional and ordinary; our job's just to say to hell with it and roll our eyes behind their backs." Blatancy coats the tip of his tongue, the inner workings of self-deprecated mirth dawning upon his features in what he hopes is an expression of amiability. "Saying that, I don't think waving a gun around would hit well with the locals."

[mydraxiarys-blog]

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[renwlkr]

Silhouette ft. Ellie Goulding; Active Child

sitting outside waiting for the world to come living my life trying to do what’s right in the hope of a better day