Musings of a PhD Student

Syeda, PhD Student, University of Staffordshire, UK. Researching VAWG in South Asian communities in the West Midlands This blog is a dedicated space for me to write regarding my studies.

[researchersyeda]

Epistemic Violence

As not having come from social sciences nor philosophy, epistemology is a subject I am only just getting my head around. Somewhat through the help of Dr. Ratio from HSR ironically...

Anyway, as part of this and a brilliant lecture series put on by UEA, I learned of epistemic violence and injustice as well as decolonialising research. It is slightly disappointing this has come to me so late, but late is better than never. I have an entire subject to read up on and probably write a chapter about. I will see how this goes.

[researchersyeda]

Data Collection

In good news, after longer than technically I wanted, I have my minimums for the South Asian portion of my data collection!!! (And more interviews than I had planned actually, which...may be some trouble in the write up stage as I have 2 sets of a lot of data for one person now... I may have to hire some undergraduates to help me).

That is great though, I kind of wish I had more time to collect even more data... I will see how it goes!

Unfortunately, for all of that success, my other participant group is non-existent... sadly although many have said yes, they do not actually complete my questionnaire.... it is a shame truly and I have tried encouraging them but perhaps I should do more. I will have to see, because I really want to be writing up my work more so now.

[researchersyeda]

Re Mrs Dunn

Reading the rest of the testimony available here:

Ayahs — South Asian Britain: Connecting Histories

Nursemaids, maidservants and carers

It was saddening to hear the case of an Ayah poorly treated of which Mrs Dunn went and fetched her, a case not dissimilar to those seen with women's shelters and refuges now - particularly reminding me of the work of Whispers of Hope. Ayah's home was established around 1825. 200 years on and the same stories are told of women, experiencing abuse from the house she lives in, seeking refuge from underfunded and no-vacancy shelters.

Asylum seekers and victims are created by people.

Also the discussions on the 'unnecessary' legal obligations of employers is bizarre. The lack of onus on those who employ the women, then abuse them, then to continue to want to send them back without any responsibility is just shocking. Perhaps I am misinterpreting the text but that is how it reads to me.

[researchersyeda]

Mrs Dunn's Testimony

Reading on Mrs Dunn's Testimony on Ayahs who had been left stranded after supporting families in the UK, some found on the street... its heart-breaking to imagine how commodified these women were, that they could be recklessly abandoned after servitude. It just continuously angers me the more detail I read about them. And also that I did not know of these women, those who came before me, that loved and cared and suffered. It reminds me of the 'women are water' phrase, in which these Ayahs were poured into many shapes to fit the cups of those who drank from them, but never their own.

[researchersyeda]

Re- Ayahs

Knowing that arguments are made by racist/anti-immigration folk in the UK, its clear that even when people try to leave the UK after having been brought here/coming temporarily, they are unable to safely leave and/or were forced to seek asylum by white citizens.... Victim-blaming in just another form.

[researchersyeda]

Ayahs

On researching South Asian history in the UK I learnt about Ayahs, South Asian women that offered care labour to travelling families. The earliest archival records show 1730, the 18th century. With most returning home and some staying in Britain, it would be made apparent that some travelling ayahs would need to find their way back home... which is not always possible when employers fraudulently denied wages or passages, leaving them destitute.

Ayah's home was a non-charity that assisted in homing those that were left in this way. I have never heard of these women before and its sad to know the fate that befell some, especially knowing that Ayah's home later became a space for Christian missionaries to convert those taking refuge to Christianity when they were intended to be sent home....

[researchersyeda]

Re - Why I No Longer Talk to White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge (Book)

I've had this book for a few years. I felt at the time I'd purchased, I was actively engaging with a lot of social justice and relevant matters online and felt that I could not bring myself to properly sit down and read the book. Now it's 2026, 8 years on from the edition I had published including 'aftermath' I decided that it'd be the first book I would start this year (as part of my goal to completely my physical TBR). From the preface alone it is a captivating book and I feel perhaps I'd picked it up at the right time. It partly inspired me to create this blog as an outlet for my thoughts regarding studies-adjacent readings that may not be considered academic, but I still wanted to write about. I am just about to begin the chapter regarding race and class.

The first chapter was incredibly informative and interesting. A somewhat full bite-size on the history of black and brown lives in the UK. I am a South Asian woman and so this book is not necessarily about me, although I can relate as a British POC. I felt like I sat in a similar place to Reni in the first chapter on the knowledge of our histories and our presence in the UK. It is clear that this is not informed in schools out of what purpose, I am not quite sure. I was surprised to know more detail, although I knew small, insignificant bits, and felt hot throughout my entire reading of the book. It is well written, although I had to have a couple of goes at a few sentences to better understand its expression and shared some of the historical events with my sister as I went along. We discussed some of them in shock - particularly that regarding the 'multiculturalism vs anti-racist' course in 1982 with John Fernandes section. This prompted a conversation we had about how there are tell-tale times in our personal histories that discussions had with white people over racism concluded mostly in their horror at being called racist rather than actually on how what they'd said was harmful. Just interesting stories came to mind as I read along.

Having read The Psychology of Honour Abuse, Violence and Killings by Roxanne Khan, Khan discusses 'WEIRD' research, pertaining to research being limited to 'Western, Educated, Industrialised, Rich and Democratic' and how it is not relevant to the general population in the psychological study field. The case regarding the horrifically racist report by Muriel Fletcher that really highlighted an example of WEIRD social research and why the work I am doing is important, as well as those also in my field to overturn the nonsensical deductions by outdated, irrelevant and WEIRD studies.

As I read along it was interesting to see the changes and non-changes since 2018, with the 'virality' of the BLM movement during COVID and the subsequent disposed use by those who had profited of its name during its most active moments. How things have not changed, or how things did - and then did not. It's interesting how the lives of POC still very much face discussions/hostility/fear-mongering and racism that befell ancestors from over a hundred years ago to modern day, sentences that are near exact in meaning being utilised now. The obsession with immigration is only more tantamount than it was in 2018 and as it was long before. I continue to read in shock and fascination at being both surprised - not surprised by happenings in Reni's personal life and those she references.

This also was interesting to see a book discussing J.K.Rowling in regards to the racial identity of Hermione before she had gone off the rails in terms of Trans-exclusionary Radical feminism. I wonder when Reni touched on the white anatgonistic reaction to 'white feminism' and an anti-racist angle of feminism, whether this is a considerable trigger point for which J.K.Rowling became hostile and fascist. I am sure others have had more thoughtful, knowledgeable discussions on this matter, but this is my thought at this time.

I will continue to write as I read.

[researchersyeda]

re-intro

On the basis that most social media platforms are quite abysmal writing spaces, I wanted something connected to my professional/career/academic identity that wasn't LinkedIn. Part of this is my fear of criticism which I understand is probably considered pathetic in the academic space, but this is my approach regardless. I'll only know something doesn't work for my after I've tried it.

I guess ultimately I'm using this like long-form twitter.

[researchersyeda]

First Post

Hello Tumblr!

I am just ripping off the band-aid by writing a little nonsense first post. It's easiest just to introduce myself but I am a PhD student doing research about VAWG (violence against women and girls) in South Asian communities in the West Midlands of the UK. I am in my 3rd year, although I definitely require one more for my write-up as I definitely have not done enough as is. I feel in a much more capable position and am writing as I go - but part in parcel of that effort is this blog! I hope it allows me to write about thoughts and readings as I go along so that I may then articulate or refer back later. It may also serve no purpose but to procrastinate from my necessities, but a step is a step, even if its in the wrong direction.... I feel so pretentious writing along like this. That's part of my criticism on GBV research and alike is the barrier of academia. My focus is on diverse lives and academia can be so elitist, othering and counter-intuitive the work I would love to do, but this is my space as of now so I should not limit myself in fear of coming across arrogant. My undergrad is actually in forensics meaning I have transitioned in to a social science with not necessarily the most equipped background - however, I have never let a subject change affect me, especially when it is adjacent and somewhat of a long-standing interest anyway. I already consider myself an feminist (is an intersectional feminist a thing?) but am particularly absorbed in feminism and its relationship with race. Anyway I have a bunch of other hobbies and enjoy being creative. That's not what this blog is about however. Sometimes I just want to write about my thoughts without the need for references/referencing so I just want to have a place to do that which isn't a clumsy word document. That is what this is.