GUEST, a pleasantly bland fellow in a casual business suit: Hi, is this the word play hotel?
HOST 1, sharply dressed in black and white with a pristine Irish accent: Yes, will you be staying with us tonight?
(HOST 2, sitting beside HOST 1 in an identical uniform, looks up inquiringly.)
GUEST: O-oh! You two seem nice, but I’d like my own room.
HOST 1: Pity. We have a twin available?
(On his left, his double appears beside him, dressed in the same uniform as the HOSTS and with a red bellhop hat on his head.)
GUEST: Eh, no. Double room, please. Sorry.
HOST 1: How long will you be staying with us?
GUEST: I’ve already told you I’m not interested. Could I have a private room, please?
HOST 1: Worth a shot. How many nights?
(To his right, the camera pans to show a suit of medieval armor.)
GUEST, nodding decisively: One knight.
HOST 1: Now, sir, would you like a room with a view?
HOST 1, holding up two DVD cases in either hand: …or “Last of the Mohicans”?
GUEST: Last of the Mohicans.
HOST 1: Okay. (handing over the DVD, followed by a room key) You’re on the first floor,
HOST 1: and your room is on the fourth floor.
HOST 1: You can take the lift.
HOST 1: We don’t need it anymore.
HOST 1: The wi-fi code is lowercase…
HOST 1: That’s it. (points to a strip of paper taped to the desk, which reads: “LOWERCASE.”)
HOST 1: Would you like a wake-up call?
HOST 1: You need to quit your job and go back to college.
ROBED MAN, approaching from behind GUEST in a white bathrobe and with wet hair: Sorry, I don’t have a hat for the pool?
HOST 1: Oh, you don’t need one!
HOST 1, pulling out a pool cue and set of billiard balls: But you do need these.
HOST 1, turning back to GUEST: Will you be having dinner with us this evening?
GUEST: Wow, you guys are persistent! Alright, I will.
HOST 1: Wonderful, do you have a reservation?
GUEST: Yes. I’ve never dated two guys before and I’m not sure if I’ll like it.
HOST 1: Oh, I’m afraid we’re full!
GUEST: That’s disappointing.
HOST 1: We also offer a turn-down service in the evenings?
GUEST: I think I’ve had enough rejection for one day.
Video cuts off at the beginning of the next sentence, captioned, “Now: baggage, sir?”
stormborns
blakekathryn
germansingergirl
pixelskylines
baratheonpilled
