9.6 Lost, 12 To Go

I made a ton of accounts but I always lose it, I relapsed and here we are again✨ Cw: 97lbs Sw: 80lbs Hw: 106.6lbs Lw: 77lbs Gw: 95lbs Ugw: 85lbs old accs: slytherin ana, euphxriic ana

[shifty-bandit]

I’ve been seeing stuff about people doubting the validity of shifting so I’m going to make a confession. 

I don’t know or care if shifting is real or not.

I DO know that I’ve experienced SOMETHING. When I lay my head down and drift off, I really DO experience things that I’ve scripted as vividly as real life. I really DO have the ability to interact with the characters as I would real people. I really DO get to live out these adventures. I don’t care if it’s all make believe or not. It’s still so cool. I still have the time of my life.

I’m actually a major skeptic about stuff, but I have shifted. Now, whether or not shifting is ACTUALLY a quantum jumping phenomenon, lucid dreaming, or some other trick of the mind doesn’t matter to me whatsoever. 

 I’m in the shifting community, because I vibe with the energy of the people here better than those in the Lucid Dreaming community. They resonate with me more. I love the Harry Potter universe a lot and a lot of people shift there. I also like the creativity and passion of the shifters. I like the obsession with fictional characters and worlds. I like the terminology better. I like the organization of scripting. I like the methods, bloggers, and youtubers. It’s all just so much more fun for me than when I was a lucid dreamer.

Just because something is happening in your head, doesn’t mean it isn’t real. 

If this is all in my head, then that is still valid to me. The realities exist within’ my mind. The characters are a part of me. They feel, think, and react THROUGH me. If shifting isn’t real then this vast universe is in my head. So? The fact that discipline and hard work is capable of taking me to such hyper-realistic worlds and gives me the chance to interact with characters I adore is still just as AWESOME to me. It doesn’t make it any less real for me.

The truth is, I don’t know for sure what I believe, but I’m just enjoying the ride anyway. I don’t think people should have such discourse about it all. It’s all valid and it’s all fun no matter how you look at it or what you believe. 

And I’m not saying the quantum jumping theory isn’t valid either. It very well COULD be real. It’s impossible to know for sure, right? You can’t prove either direction 100%. And that’s okay. 

The point is, just let people have fun. We’re in a pandemic. We’re allowed to choose the escapism we want. Shifting helps with discipline, creativity, and more. It’s certainly helped me a lot with my depression. I’m not going to stop just because some people are on high horses about the validity of it all. 

Happy shifting, everyone! :)

[808danni-deactivated20221231]

[ana-lowcal]

As soon as i get skinny enough it’s over

For me

[sadsicknesss]

[bitchy-and-glitchy]

I can't stop reblogging this I love it so much

[batorexic-baby]

wow is this @skinniiiiidreamz

[skinniiiiidreamz]

crying 😭😭😭😭😭😫

[peaskillme]

its all i want

[restrictonaddiction]

I know damn well I gained a few pounds, but I’m not gonna but it in my bio, I’ll just leave it at that until I actually reach that number again 😀🤡

[shifty-bandit]

I’m not lying about shifting

Hey, I’m not angry or anything. I just saw an ask on a mutuals blog. This ask wasn’t hate and I’m not angry about it, but I HAVE seen other mutuals receiving hate comments with accusations of people lying about shifting.

 and a little ramble produced in my head as it usually does when I see stuff like that. :)

If I were shifting for laughs or just to trick people, trust me when I say I’d come up with something a LOT more extravagant. I’d also do it a lot more frequently. If you’re going to lie, why not go all out? 

The first few times I shifted, it lasted for very short periods of time. I’d be at Hogwarts for a short time, far too excited to do much. Mostly just gawked at everything like a fool.

The longest time I’ve shifted, I was in a house for three months. Kidnapped by this old lady. During this time I was in a messy old house where I was pregnant, slut shamed, and extremely unhygienic. I mostly laid miserably in a bed cuddling with my DR sister and partner because I was too pregnant, sick, depressed, and weak to do anything else. The most entertaining thing that really happened was when we watch Halloweentown on a crappy TV and when the kidnapper decided to bring us some Mcdonalds. I stared out the window of that house begging to switch to Hogwarts or anywhere else. Nothing changed in my surroundings and I was extremely lucid. I was about to give birth to the baby, but I said my safe word, because childbirth (especially without an epidural) sounded painful and I wasn’t positive that my baby would be safe from the lady who kidnapped us. 

It kind of makes me sad that people think I’m just making up my experiences, because it actually IS true. When I did this, it DID feel as real as it did when I was awake. I don’t like the implication that I would lie to my friends. I don’t like the implication that my friends on here would lie to me.

I understand doubt. I understand doubting whether or not shifting is actually jumping from one reality to another, but I don’t like it when people act like we are just making stuff up, because that’s a judgement on our character.

I’m not going to sit on tumblr all day lying about something like this. Most of my blogging is about my scripting process, the stories I create, and my relationship with my CR partner. I don’t need to lie, because I’m JUST as happy with my CR life as I am with my DR life. The two are extremely intertwined. When I want to communicate with my DR partners, I just ask my CR partner to script them with me. Those DR partners were created by @isabellavivekabluejay and they are a part of her. The DR selves that I’ve created are a part of me. They’re real whether or not I’m in another reality or not. I don’t need to lie.

And as stated at the beginning of this post, I am not angry and this post isn’t being written out of spite or resentment.

Lastly, as I’ve said before, I’m not even sure if this is all just some advanced Lucid dreaming or whatever, but if it IS, I still don’t care. It’s still a wild ride and it’s worth doing. I don’t see why there is such a debate on whether or not it’s authentic. It’s fun and it’s not causing harm so I don’t get all the fuss and naysayers. 

[restrictonaddiction]

This is making me motivated

[icanseethedeadpain]

:)

[fulloffshrinking]

Ok no binge today!!!!

[restrictonaddiction]

Guys it’s my birthday in 10 days and I need to lose weight fast🤡 please send meanspo, I’m desperate😀 it could be anything, literally could just be “you’re fat lol” I would rlly appreciate it

[revoult]

it’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight

[hatebeinglonely]

My whole eating disorder feels fake

Like, I’m not even a bit skinny

[caffeinecals]

its literally so embarrassing having an ed and being as fat as i am lol

[restrictonaddiction]

I keep telling myself to stop eating but I still eat anyway 😀

[latenights]

do u ever look at ur body and regret all the junk food you’ve ever eaten but then proceed to eat more junk food to comfort urself

[latenights]

do u ever look at ur body and regret all the junk food you’ve ever eaten but then proceed to eat more junk food to comfort urself

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

I play the same 25 songs everyday and them mfs hit every time

[sknnyflwr-blog]

reblog to lose 10 lbs by Valentines Day 💓

[restrictonaddiction]

I’m claiming this

[slytherth1n]

💞💛💗💖🧡💝💙💗💚💕

I will lose 5 pounds this week

💞💛💗💖🧡💝💙💗💚💕

Speak it into existence

💞💛💗💖🧡💝💙💗💚💕

Rb to lose 5 pounds this week

[phrogteef]

ugw pleaaaasssseeeeee

[sk1nnycxnt]

Yes pls 🥲

[savexmefromxmyxself]

Pleaseee I’d be at my goal 🙏🏼

[restrictonaddiction]

Please I wanna be underweight again

[boneandbutterflies-deactivated2]

“I’ve watched girls nibble away at half an apple, diced into little chunks to make it last longer. That’s all she’ll eat today. I’ve watched girls drink five litres of water because ‘sometimes you’re not actually hungry, it’s just thirst’. I’ve watched girls drink tea like it’s liquid gold, to pinch their stomachs and feel sick at the sight of the rolls. I’ve watched girls exercise until they faint, until their hearts threaten to beat straight out of their chest because it’s the only way they feel loved. I’ve watched girls do mental calculations of how much they’ve eaten, 110 calories from a large apple, only 55 from half. I’ve watched girls cry in front of the mirror because they’ll never be size 6, never mind size 4, or 2, or 0. I’ve watched girls hide in bulky clothing when all they’ve ever wanted is to wear dresses that don’t cover everything up. I’ve watched them flinch when people say, “I like girls who have big appetites.” I’ve watched them smile when people say, “you’ve lost weight, haven’t you?” I’ve watched girls who hate themselves so much they refuse to accept affection. I’ve heard their silence when people comment on how little they are eating - they think: ‘at least now I don’t have a reason to look this way’. I’ve watched girls measure their worth by the gap between their thighs, gripping skin and bone, convinced it’s fat that can be burned. I’ve watched girls, living skeletons, who laugh and smile just like everyone else, who needed someone to lend them a little strength when they couldn’t find their own, for someone to reach out and say: ‘can’t you see you don’t need to do this to be beautiful? You don’t need to do this to be loved.”

— S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #178 (via blossomfully)