mountain dreamer @reveurdemontagne - Tumblr Blog

i’m literally so fucking tired of people not taking any responsibility for themselves and their own choices.

if someone has been upfront with you about their intentions, you don’t get to be fucking mad at them or guilt trip them when they do exactly what they said they were going to do. if you’re hooking up with/hanging out with someone who tells you they don’t want a relationship, you don’t get to make them out to be an asshole for “leading you on” when it doesn’t end up in a relationship. if you choose to be in a relationship with someone knowing they are moving away, you don’t get to act like they didn’t “care enough” about you to stay when they do end up moving like they had planned. etc etc etc.

bottom line: if you choose to stay in a situation with someone who has expressed that they want something different than what you want, it’s YOUR fault for not communicating your own feelings and making the decision that’s best for you. and you don’t get to blame them for it.

look. i know, I KNOW it sucks when things don’t work out the way you want them to. i know it hurts to wait around because it feels like someone is giving you mixed signals between what they say and how they act. i know it sucks to care about someone and want things to progress the way you see them in your head. but that is just NOT ALWAYS HOW LIFE WORKS.

the truth is that it’s unfair and disrespectful (really to both them AND yourself) to knowingly stick around and wait for someone to change their mind if you want something different from what they’ve expressed they want. it’s unhealthy to maintain this mindset that if you just do this or that, or if you’re perfect enough, etc. they’ll come around and change their mind. people can have a million different reasons for feeling the way they do, and you may not AGREE with their reasoning, but you HAVE TO RESPECT IT. if you don’t, and you stick around expecting something that they’ve been clear with you they can’t give to you, it’s your fault. you are the one hurting yourself. you are leading yourself on. it’s not on them. it’s on you. and you need to take responsibility for that.

if someone is going to come around and change their mind, it’s going to be because THEY decide they are ready, willing, able, etc. to make that shift. it won’t be because of something you do or don’t do. you don’t have anything to prove to them. and they’re not an asshole who doesn’t care about you because they are doing what’s right for them.

OBVIOUSLY this doesn’t apply to situations where you actually are being led on. if someone is baiting you and being intentionally vague or deceptive about what they want out of the situation to keep you waiting around, that’s 1000% on them. but this is another thing you should be mindful of - even if you don’t want to admit it, you usually know when you’re being played and when you should get out of a situation. but... the lack of communication is completely on them.

but if that’s not the case, and someone has been truthful with you from the beginning (and often repetitively throughout the “relationship” or whatever it is) they’re not an asshole for not changing their mind. and there’s (probably) nothing wrong with you that’s prompting their decision either - it’s just something personal they need to work through. and it’s not fair or right to make them feel guilty or wrong for that.

take. some. damn. responsibility. for. your. own. lack. of. communication.

#thoughts #communication #relationships

positive-mh-recovery

& if you’re on here too

just know i’m never coming back to you

so you can take all of those memories you say you love & are scared to lose

& shove them

you should have thought about how scared you’d be to lose me instead of how good you felt to degrade me whenever you did

you should have thought about how much you loved me & wanted to be there for me instead of how much you wanted to lie about to hold things over my head

love is not a power play

love is putting your partner before your pride

before your lust

before your desire to be right

love is doing everything you can to lift your partner up while they’re down

not doing what you can to push them down further and kick dirt in their face

when you’re just a hypocrite anyway

you never loved me, just the idea of me & what i could do for you

so i hope you take that & learn from it

i hope you never take for granted the next girl who fights that fucking hard for you (because i know how god damn hard i fought)

and i hope you fight just as hard for her instead of sitting back and waiting for her to “fail” so you could put her down more

and i hope the next girl you say you love

the next girl you say is your whole entire world

the next girl you say you want to spend the rest of your life with and you’ve never felt that way about -

i hope you truly mean it

and i hope you show her, with your actions and your words

how much you love her

the way you never truly loved me

#CMR #thoughts

sprachtraeume

Why does being in your early 20s feel so much like only having 5 years of your life left in which you need to achieve as much as possible? why do I feel like I have an approaching deadline for success?

ommanyte

I’m going to make a new font called Times New Bastard

ommanyte

It’s Times New Roman but every seventh letter is jarringly sans serif

bouquetoftwelve

val-ritz

With one line you activated every bone in my body and all of them are in attack mode

patroclusdefencesquad

me

nudityandnerdery

“How bad is it, doc? Give it to me straight.” “I… I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

northw0man-deactivated20201019

anyway, the 8 hour workday and the concept of “8 hours work, 8 hours rest, 8 hours recreation” is outdated and based on the lives and needs of married straight men who had a wife at home doing all the unpaid domestic labor, childcare, and elderly care. We should all be fighting for a 4 hour workday tbh

shipsterella

Research suggests that in an eight-hour day, the average worker is only productive for two hours and 53 minutes.

The workday and how we work are intimately related to productivity, yet more hours may not lead to increased focus, concentration, and succe

thedramaandart

They did an experiment with a 6 hour workday in Gothenburg, on a nursing home. The staff became happier and healthier and the elderly also became happier and more content because the staff could focus more on their needs when they weren’t overworked and tired. The staff felt they had more time and energy towards the elderly.

Recently there was an article about a care home in Stockholm were they “””over hired””” (I would argue they just hired enough people), that is they added 1,5 full time staff member. There was an economic gain, not only in health for the workers but also with fewer temps, less overtime and less time wasted on constantly educating new people.

The 8 hour workday was met with the same ridicule a 6 hour workday would. Once, the upper class thought that 14 hour days were reasonable because the poor would just get into trouble if they had time off. Even when there’s actually net gain from caring about their workers, employers prefer making them miserable and paying the cost in new hires, medical costs and poor performance. People have fought and died for our free time and our weekends, even when we know a healthy worker is a healthy company.

So it’s not strange, nor unbelievable, to take that fight again. There’s nothing holy or special with an 8 hour workday. It isn’t set in stone. It could be done.