Evilwizardtower.com

Casting minor inconveniences since 1356

[pukicho]

I graduated top of my class sumo cum loud

[ladytherottie-shoe]

I love it when my boyfriend pops my eardrums whilst fucking me raw

[pukicho]

WE KNOW

[femmchantress]

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

[tall]

[quiteliterallyhotsauce]

me remembering i have a name and body and people know me:

[apricops]

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

[clownboybebop]

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

[rexthecry]

So sad they did unsleeping city before zohran, Brennan would've done this for sure

[rexthecry]

I love when character A has a loose hair so character B can dramatically remove it with a weapon

[ilywtf]

>settings

>world settings

>set to "your oyster"

[killerqueenmp3]

[laura-the-swarming]

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

[pukicho]

If you’re anxious, don’t worry.

[rexthecry]

They reinstalled the flesh cube on the playground

[creepycrag]

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

[moldavite]

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

[kumkaniudaku]

And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???

[rexthecry]

I wish I could collapse myself into a small point and then compress myself until I feel like a person again

[junglejim4322]

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

[mewto-deactivated20240101]

i'd rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i'd live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.