Honor

No, I don't know what I'm doing either If you know me irl I'm sorry and no you don't This is not a blog for young children fair warning Multi-fandom multi-shipper Can be found reading and writing at all times of day

[rhonohr]

Introducing…me!

Hi!

I’m Honora (Elle, Ella, Ellie, Ellison, Honora, honor, Hannah, other nicknames, I’m not picky), she/they/idk, pansexual or something. Inside of me there are two demons: one wants to do the things and the other just wants to not. I’m an aspiring author who gets way too into fandoms. I’m not the best at social things, but if we’re friends I’ll tell you all my hopes and dreams. I like stuff, cute things, tiny things, useful things that are multipurpose, interesting stuff…all sorts of things really. I also might have some neurospicyness going on (should maybe talk to someone about that and the social anxiety. hmm) so if I come off as rude I’m very sorry I don’t mean to, and if I don’t respond it’s probably because I’m overthinking or external factors are at play. My ao3:rhonohr. I do try to update regularly, but inspiration and ambition come and go. Currently aiming to post something at least once a month, though here’s hoping I can do more than that. Updates are always on Sundays, though regularity can not be guaranteed.I make an effort to reply to comments as best I can so at least y’all will know I’m not dead. I alternate between writing porn and plot depending on the vibes. Multi-fandom multi-shipper, so heads up. Fair warning when I say in tags I’ve written fic about this it might not be posted yet. Could change it but the bit won’t let me. Fandoms I’m in: Haikyuu!!, JJK, BSD, MHA, those are the main ones I guess, I like other things but at this rate I’m in like twenty different fandoms (like half of which I got into via fic?) so if you want to know details please ask and I’ll give you a detailed list of every book or movie I’ve ever liked.

Feel free to send me headcanons, questions, fic requests (though I can’t guarantee they’ll catch my interest and get done so apologies in advance), etc. Inappropriate comments will not be tolerated that’s creepy what the fuck. Be respectful of me and I will be respectful of you.

I am a liberal feminist who believes Black Lives Matter, LGBTQ+ lives matter, people with disabilities matter, antisemitism is not okay, rape and sexual assault are crimes that should be punished severely and we shouldn’t be blaming the victim for it or demanding that they prove something happened, genocide is an atrocity, all people are equal, abortion is healthcare, everyone should have access to free healthcare, all cops are bastards and the police should be defunded, ICE are evil cowards, children shouldn’t be separated from their family, we should tax the rich, help the poor, homelessness should not be an issue and neither should starvation, AI is fucking slop that will destroy our minds and society, and more that will not allow themselves to be rounded up at this time but are definitely there. If you have a problem with any of this get the hell off my blog before I know I have a problem with you.

[rhonohr]

There is a specific scene from my incredibly strange, canon-disregarding lengthy fic about Tachihara’s origins that will not leave my head and I thought I would share it on here so you could see what I put this guy through in the name of changing absolutely nothing

I don’t know why yet, but Dazai, Fyodor, and Tachihara have been captured. They’re dangling upside down from the ceiling, for reasons yet to be revealed to me. Tachi is in the middle. Important for this story is that he is smart enough to keep up with Dazai and Fyodor. Normally this is a good thing, today it is not. The three of them get bored. They play a few games of mind chess with the three of them—different games going on simultaneously of course, what else are they going to do—and then they get sick of that. Instead of playing mind poker, like Tachi thought they should do, Fyozai start having mind sex. Very intense, kinky, the usual for them mind sex. With Tachi in the middle and able to understand every bit of what’s going on. His inner monologue is sarcastic and done with life and cursing everyone.

Anyway it will be written into the monster of a fic I’m making myself do unless I decide I hate it while I’m writing.

RIP Tachihara, I’m sorry for what I’m going to do to you.

[rhonohr]

Okay so Drop Dead by Olivia Rodrigo is THE Odazai song in this essay I will.

The opening: “I know that the bar closes at 11, but I hope you never finish that beer” is so them in Bar Lupin with Dazai wishing it could be this good forever both in the bar with this conversation and also in life with Oda. He’s hoping it can stay that good while also knowing the bar closes at 11, they’ll have to go home. Life can’t stay like this, something bad is bound to happen with him.

“You know all the words to just like heaven and I know why he wrote them now that you’re standing right here” is Dazai thinking about how Oda is the one that really understands him and also lets him actually feel entirely human instead of just numb or angry. He finally can understand why people love things, why they’d take the risk of letting themselves get hurt.

“I feel like I might throw up, left hook right punch to the gut” the rollercoaster that comes with never having this before “I’m paranoid I made you up” he’s never had anything good in his life what is this man.

“I’d love it if you walked me home if you promised we could go real slow cause I’ve got chewing gum and a bunch of stuff I’d like to know like, have you ever been to Japan or taken that Eurostar to France? I’ve been dropping hints all night that I’d love it if you held my hand, goddamn” is Dazai not only in it for the sex or to feel something but because it’s Odasaku. He wants to know him, he wants to love him, he wants Oda to touch him in every way not just in bed, he wants to love and be loved in return but more than that he wants trust and intimacy. “And then maybe we could make-make out clothes off and fall to the ground, let’s go steady let’s go out and tell the whole damn world how” it’s not just about sex it’s about the feelings and the connection and the friendship and the love and Dazai wants people to know about them instead of hiding. He wants an actual relationship. Before he’s just had sex to feel anything other than just existing in pain, now he wants to go everywhere with Oda and do everything. He wants everything.

Bridge is “Pisces and a Gemini but I think we might go really nice together, if you let me stay the night well I think I might just have to stay forever” they’re different and yet they work. Oda is the first person to ever really be good to him, ever show he loves him, no wonder Dazai falls in love with him.

Chorus of “oh one night I was bored in bed and stalked you on the internet it’s feminine intuition cause I always had a vision of us standing like this” is very ‘Dazai knows it’s going to happen he’s playing the game all the time coded and not so much Odazai coded but this part “all pressed up in the bathroom line you’re looking like an angel on the walls of Versailles” is both Dazai thinking about how Oda is the only good thing in his life and also Oda who thinks Dazai is beautiful and good and something worth both saving and loving. “The most alive I’ve ever been” because Dazai is suicidal and Oda makes him forget that. “But kiss me and I might drop dead” because Dazai doesn’t know how to let himself be loved and also because Oda would have died around a year after they get together.

Anyway it’s a fantastic album you should listen to it.

[rhonohr]

gender fuckery sexuality complicated Tachihara you’ll always be infamous to me

[rhonohr]

Dazai and Tachihara as foils of each other

Dazai who is always honest and plays it off as a joke so no one believes him and Tachihara who lies constantly and it’s indecipherable from the truth

Dazai who wants sex as a coping mechanism to get out of his head and Tachihara for whom any physical contact is a struggle

Dazai who acts quiet and patient and is actually impulsive and emotional and Tachihara who acts like he’s an idiot but has at least six plans to make sure everything happens how he want it do

Dazai who falls in love with everyone constantly and easily and Tachihara who will never trust you to water a fake plant until you reach level five hundred friendship

Dazai who dyes his hair to be himself and Tachihara who dyes his hair to not be who he was

Dazai who finds beauty in feminine things because that’s what he couldn’t be and Tachihara who finds beauty in masculine things because that’s what he can’t be

Dazai who forgives but doesn’t forget and Tachihara who forgets but doesn’t forgive

Dazai who understands people but can’t know them and Tachihara who knows everything about their character and life in ten seconds but doesn’t understand why they feel that way

Dazai who the dark suffocates and who is glorious in the light and Tachihara who the light strangled and chokes and burns and tears and is radiant and terrifying and delighted in the dark

Dazai who gets betrayed and never sees it coming and cries for days and Tachihara who backstabs like it’s second nature because for him it is and he expects it of everyone and only hates it when something weird happens

Dazai who trusts people without realizing he does until it’s obvious and Tachihara who sees that someone isn’t like people who have hurt him and immediately convinces himself they are so it’ll hurt less when he’s right

Dazai who loves life but doesn’t want to be alive and Tachihara who dislikes life but goddamnit he isn’t going to die

[rhonohr]

so like I cannot be doing this I have a fic to finish but also the Tachihara origin story that I made up to traumatize him is yelling at me but also it’ll take a while so no not yet you stay in the notes app. He’ll just make a few cameos in you know he’s with me, like obviously because I love him. And I maintain he and Dazai should beat the shit out of each other with folding chairs and then trauma-bond.

[rhonohr]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Odazai fuck in Bar Lupin, traumatize Steven the barman (thanks my friend), and Ango is oblivious to what’s going on (and maybe a bit in love).

[rhonohr]

Chapter two is out now!

Dazai decides he has a new favorite spot. Oda is happy about this. Steven is most definitely not.

[rhonohr]

I’m genuinely in rarepair hell

like it isn’t even funny at this point there’s nothing there for them. One of them dies in episode three with one and the other is so shipped with another protagonist. There’s maybe twenty five fics where he’s a character. We know nothing about him we don’t even know how old he is. But I have this version of him and them in my head and they would be so good.

[rhonohr]

Ranpo and Dazai as friends with benefits

Or in a relationship you do you I’ll do me

Ranpo fucks Dazai to have a break from thinking and knowing everything all the time. He doesn’t have the want or need to give iup control like Dazai does, but he does want to take a vacation every now and then, and Dazai is attractive but also smart enough to understand how exhausting it is to deal with peoples idiocy.

Dazai gets fucked by Ranpo so he can stop thinking and give up the control he clings onto. It’s difficult for him to relax if he’s constantly having to come up with plans and watch his back, and Ranpo is smart enough to keep up with him and do those in his place.

Ranpo gets something else to focus on, Dazai doesn’t have to think at all, and they both get laid everyone wins.

[rhonohr]

uh friends are great

I’ve got two best friends and I adore them both but I was maybe kinda in love with one for a few years and we’ve worked through it and now we’re closer than ever and my other best friend is the best like they were at camp and when they came back it was like a fic got updated I think I’d marry them both if they wanted that

[rhonohr]

fic concept:

Ranpoe are in a queerplatonic relationship, Ranpo is chasing after Dazai, and Dazai likes him back but doesn’t want to get in the way because self worth issues. Poe throws them into a book where the way to get out is to live out the story but it’s a romance novel so they assume it means fucking (actually Dazai and Ranpo both know it isn’t but Dazai is actively running away from his feelings like a coward yet again) but actually it means they have to be honest with each other

is that like a thing people are interested in or no?

[rhonohr]

whoops this was supposed to stay in drafts

[rhonohr]

fic concept:

Ranpoe are in a queerplatonic relationship, Ranpo is chasing after Dazai, and Dazai likes him back but doesn’t want to get in the way because self worth issues. Poe throws them into a book where the way to get out is to live out the story but it’s a romance novel so they assume it means fucking (actually Dazai and Ranpo both know it isn’t but Dazai is actively running away from his feelings like a coward yet again) but actually it means they have to be honest with each other

is that like a thing people are interested in or no?

[rhonohr]

Tachigin is so fucking crazy I love them

They’re a straight ship with immaculate gay energy. Gender swap one of them and it wouldn’t be out of place. Gender swap both of them and it’s still good. One or both of them are trans? They remain iconic. This is like the one time a straight ship is better than a gay one how did they do it. What kind of magic had to be done for Tachigin to be as insanely good as they are. I’m not complaining but I’d like to know. They can do tropes they can do au’s they can do canon. They aren’t even that problematic there are like two issues with their relationship and they’re easy enough to resolve. They’re iconic, they’re a straight couple the gays ship. What the hell Asagiri.

[rhonohr]

People are like ‘Dazai is a top’

No he’s not. That man wants to get pinned down and fucked so hard he can’t think. He can’t top for the life of him. Someone makes him ride them and he can’t do it he gets shaky and senseless so fast. Dazai is a twink that with a degradation kink and praise kink he can’t focus enough to fuck someone else they’ll compliment him or insult him and he’ll fall over. Also he doesn’t like pain or work he so has a princess kink.

[rhonohr]

Can we agree that Odazai definitely have a breeding kink

Like Oda wants a family and kids and the idea of having them with Dazai is even better. Dazai wants to feel like he’s good for something, that he can do something good, and also he wants to make Oda happy. They don’t know the meaning of safe sex. Dazai stops religiously taking morning after pills. Mori is so fucking horrified ‘you’re literally a child you are way too young for kids and you’re in the mafia besides’ ‘you’ve got a breeding kink too and you’re in the mafia and you’re too old for them now and do you think I haven’t heard what you say when you dream about your ex?’ and neither of them look at each other for several days. And it gives Oda a reason to stop killing so Dazai is happy and it gives Dazai a reason to live so Oda is happy. It’s such a miracle Dazai hasn’t gotten knocked up by now with how horny the two of them combined are but they’re still trying.

[rhonohr]

Dazai is pregnant when he leaves the mafia

He and Oda were together, Dazai gets knocked up but doesn’t know, and then Oda dies. (which makes it so much sadder because he left to go get revenge for his orphans but then he leaves the man he loves, for whom Oda is the only good thing in his life, with a child who will never know their father.) Dazai finds out sometime later, decides to keep the baby because it’s all he has left of Oda, and is forced to reconcile with Mori for the sake of that kid. This doesn’t change all that much until the events of the series start, at which point the Port Mafia and Agency start getting along much better, to everyone’s confusion. Anyway the girl is named Oda Sakuni (which means compassion and assistance from what I could find) and she is a carbon copy of Oda. If it’s a boy or twins or Sakuni is trans than the boy is called Oda Sakusuke (which I believe means to write and to save) and he is also a dead ringer for Oda. Their names align with what Oda would have wanted, and also he can call them Odasaku so the nickname doesn’t die with Oda. His heart hurts every time he looks at them, but he loves them more than he ever thought possible and he’d do anything to keep them safe and happy. Mori is a decent grandparent but neither are actually good with kids despite both wanting and having them, so they struggle a bit at first u til they get the hang of it. Just so y’all know if ever Odazai have a kid in my fics Sakuni is first on the roster and then Sakusuke might show up who knows.

[rhonohr]

Ango, Dazai, and Oda

Oda and Dazai are each others favorite, but there’s always been something there with Ango as well, they don’t love him as much, but they could love him. Dazai falls in love with everyone he meets and then immediately gets rejected slightly and runs off because he’s scared of being known and loved and vulnerable, which didn’t happen with Oda only because it couldn’t. Dazai is terrified Oda will leave him for Ango, but Oda just wants Dazai to be happy and if getting fucked by both of them and then taken on dates is what he wants then that’s what Oda wants as well, but he really doesn’t have eyes for anyone but Dazai. Ango, in comparison, is in love with both of them, though he focuses more on Oda and tries to ignore how he feels about Dazai because he’s a kid and also his superior and will almost certainly figure out he’s a spy. They’re a mess, they’re in love, they hate each other and themselves, everyone gets hurt somehow and no one wins at all.