warnings: 18+ | depression | anxiety | drug use | dead dove
Chapter: 1 | ??
Theme: AU - future
Invited to a work outing, you go hoping that it'll be a fun, relieving experience - however, you couldn't be more wrong.
Luckily, well timed help from a mysterious stranger could change your life...
chapter 2 >>
chapter 1
Glowing light reflects off the pavement, blinding me no matter which direction I look.
Egh… I wish I could just walk with my eyes closed…
My legs reluctantly drag me forward,
Once I get inside, I'll feel better,
just a little bit further…
Rounding the corner, my eyes fight against the light,
and catch a small group of silhouettes up ahead.
Is that them?
I close the distance,
then confirm.
Yep, it’s them…
My hand raises in a wave, the downturned corners of my mouth lifting on their own accord.
“Hey, guys…”
“Oh hey! Finally, someone else is here.”
“Heey! We can’t go in yet, we’re waiting for the boss to get here, she has the money!”
“Ah, okay…”
Damn, I was really hoping to get out of this sun…
My eyes glance down, falling to the time on my phone,
Another ten-ish minutes, maybe? I’m a bit early, I guess…
My focus sticks to the screen in my hand.
It’s funny,
that my free time away from work,
is spent on an outing —
for work…
whatever…
I should just be happy that my time out is paid for, that’s it.
Just have a good time.
I look up,
and over to my coworkers who are conversing,
and in that same second,
the sound of screeching tires steals the attention.
Beyond the guardrail ahead, two cars stand at the intersection,
they stare each other down in a near collision.
We all watch in concerned silence,
conversations hanging suspended,
then as quickly as it started, they drive off,
fading into the flow of traffic.
Huh…? What was that about…
“What, am I late? I hope you all weren’t waiting too long!”
Thank goodness…
Once our manager is here, we file inside,
out of the mid day heat.
At the front counter, everyone is given their own card,
then, one by one,
people break off into their own smaller groups.
And of course,
There’s an odd number.
I glare down at the sleek plastic card in my hand as I walk through a crowded aisle of people.
I should’ve known this was gonna happen…
Lights flash all around, colorful, blinding.
Why do I ever expect anything to be different…
Loud music mixes with blaring arcade machines.
Why did I even come here…
Gradually, I notice the temperature in the room begin to rise,
shit…
My legs tremble.
no, not here…
My stomach churns.
Someone’s gonna see me like this…
great…
The “Hey.” that follows couldn’t be more on beat.
“Huh?”
The lights blur together as I look up — too fast…
“Hey, are you okay?”
Who… is this,
My body stills, my eyes steady.
“Can you hear me?”
At least it’s not someone I work with…
I inhale a sharp breath, then the nearly muted words slip from my mouth:
“I- I’m not okay…”
“Alright, it’s alright.” I hear the stranger answer.
The flashing lights of a nearby machine flare in my vision,
The person goes on, “I’m here, I'll help you.”
A winning alarm causes me to flinch.
I hope they didn’t see that…
“Can you tell me what you’re feeling?”
It takes a second to suppress the sickness climbing my throat, and then I speak up,
“It’s… so hot— I can't focus…” I say, hoping the person understands.
It hurts just to breathe steady…
Suddenly, I catch the stranger stepping forward,
closing the distance between us,
and still,
my legs won’t move an inch.
There’s a thud, next to my ear
then a ‘umph’
Something brushes my shoulder,
and my eyes flick up just in time to catch the sight of a stumbling silhouette,
and the side eye that they give us.
“Listen,” the stranger beside me says finally.
“You’ll likely feel much better outside… and there won’t be as many people.”
Slowly, a hand raises into my sight.
“If you’d like, I can lead you to the exit…”
My eyes linger on the unfamiliar hand,
but the fresh air sounds relieving right now...
I reach out,
my grip clutches theirs,
and I nod my head once.
“Great, come with me.”
—
At least the sun’s started to set.
“You feeling any better? I can get you a water-”
Quickly, I shake my head, “no, it’s fine. I’m starting to feel a little better, thanks…”
My palms support my cheeks as I observe the tiny stones laying on the pavement.
The sound of footsteps moves closer,
and the stranger’s presence joins me, taking a seat nearby on the curb.
“Are you here with anyone?” he asks.
“It’s probably best to contact them, I can help if you need.”
Lazily, I flick my hand in his direction.
“I’m only here with some coworkers — a work outing. It'll be fine…”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I'm sure.”
They’ll hardly notice.
“Alright, well…” the stranger goes on.
“It’s probably not a good idea to go back in there, and I'd feel real shitty leaving you out here by yourself like this.”
There’s a pause.
“Do you have a way to get home?” he asks.
“Yeah… I walked here, so…”
The stranger hums in understanding, "I see — If it’ll help, I can walk you to the nearest station.”
There’s a small shake of my head, “uh- my place… it’s nearby…”
I glance over at the scruffy stranger to my right,
he mirrors me,
staring into the pavement.
“we can just…
walk there…”
He blinks,
then glances back, “alright,
I’m following you then.”
—
Our shoes tap against the pavement in a rhythmic pattern.
“Are you okay walking?”
“Yeah, I'm feeling much better…”
The air has cooled, it’s refreshing against my sticky skin.
As we walk, my attention is drawn downward, to where my bag falls against my hip.
A single thought inclines me to unzip it.
I open it barely enough to yank out the carton inside,
but as I flick open the top, I remember:
Damnit, I completely forgot — I was supposed to stop by the store before the arcade, so I could get another pack of cigarettes…
that’s why I left early,
why do I always forget…
“You out?”
My entire body recoils at the question,
he was watching all that…
“Here, I’ve got some…”
Our pace slows to a stop, and I watch as the stranger reaches into his pocket,
pulling out a carton of his own.
He chooses a stick with little thought,
then fixes it between his lips as he fishes for a lighter.
A click illuminates the dark strands of hair framing his face,
the paper flares orange,
and he takes a single drag before he catches it between his fingers,
then extends the cigarette out to me, “all yours.”
My eyes linger as I feel my cheeks begin to burn.
My hand hesitates, and I force it up,
quickly snatching the cigarette from his hand.
I mutter, “Yeah, um— right. Th-thanks…”
Then, a quick step forward continues our walk —
it also hides my glare into the tip of the filter…
The footsteps behind me start again, catching up momentarily,
and I stick the filter in my mouth.
An exhale releases some of my tension with the smoke,
then a little bit more,
and some more…
…
But it’s not enough…
this isn’t even enough anymore…
A wet splat hits my thumb, and the words are already falling out:
“I’m sorry — I’m… really sorry, I don't mean to be… such- such a mess…”
I sob as soon as I speak,
I’m so… embarrassing…
“Don’t apologize, that’s kinda why I'm here — so you can make it home in one piece…”
he attempts to reassure me, “tell me, what’s on your mind?”
“I just feel… so- incapable…” I admit.
“I can’t even get ten minutes away from home… without having a damn breakdown—” I take in a sharp breath, “to the point where I’m making a stranger escort me home,”
“Really, don’t worry about it, it’s not a problem.”
“…I’ve- just been trying to follow the advice everyone gives me:
Keep trying,
everyone has to do it,
it gets easier every time,
but it doesn’t. Every single experience — is getting worse…”
It feels really stupid, saying all this to someone who doesn’t even know me,
but maybe that’s also why I’m saying it, because he doesn’t know me.
“And that’s why I thought,
maybe going out today would be good for me…”
And, I know,
someone who doesn’t know you, going out of their way to do all this…
that doesn’t happen, no one’s this kind.
There’s no way he doesn’t want something from me…
But I don’t mind, I've never gotten to say these things to anyone,
so I guess I'm getting something out of it too…
My tears slow, and I wipe my face as we approach the side of my building.
To be honest though, he hasn’t really said much…
“Oh, um… this is my place here, the entrance is around the corner.”
“Alright…”
Crap… I weirded him out, didn't I…
We approach the door, but stop a few feet away.
“Uh… well anyway, thanks—”
“Listen…” he cuts through my words.
“If that’s how things are for you, then I understand why what happened to you today happened.”
carefully, he raises a hand,
“I get it, that sorta lifestyle — it’s not for me either.”
extending his arm, he swipes what’s left of the cigarette from my hand,
“I couldn’t imagine trying to put on a smile for some dumb event.”
then places it in his mouth, pulling what’s left.
His next words are laced with smoke,
“If you really can’t take it anymore,”
he tosses the filter — then takes a step closer,
“I can make you an offer.”
My eyes narrow at his words, “like, a job offer?”
“I guess you could say that…” He reaches into the pocket of his sweater,
and pulls out a phone — holding it out to me.
“You can sit on it, give it a little thought, and contact me if you turn out to be interested.”
I glare down at his phone,
Hm.
then reach into my back pocket.
My phone hovers over his, and with two simultaneous pings, I pull the screen to my face.
‘Xiao’
“Thank you again, and I'm really sorry for all of this…”
“Trust me, there’s no reason to worry about it,” his phone slips into his pocket,
then,
he steps back.
“We can talk again another time.”
My head nods once,
And he walks off.
I go into my apartment.
。。。
Hot sun rays warm my body, then force my eyes open.
It burns,
why did I leave my shades open…
I hardly even remember falling asleep…
A sigh escapes me, my eyes won’t stay closed anymore, but all I want to do is sleep…
I fumble through the sheets, a hand eventually landing on my phone.
The screen flashes on, displaying an obnoxious amount of messages.
I unlock it to skim the hoard of messages from the work chat; a lot of nonsense from last night,
but of course, not a single message involving me…
knew it…
As my thumb flicks across the screen, a notification drops down,
an email — from property management.
It peaks my concern, and I catch it before it disappears.
A notice loads, a reminder that rent is coming up in a few days.
Ah, let me go make sure I have enough…
I just got my check, so maybe I'll be able to pay a couple days ea—
Huh?
“One hundred mora?!”
Wha- where’d all my money go?! I didn’t even spend anything last night, what happened—
My thumb frantically scrolls to the transactions section,
and I’m met with multiple auto charges from bills, debts, and subscriptions…
Shit…
I was supposed to send that money to my other card so I could use it for rent this week,
And I forgot,
again…
A heavy sigh escapes my throat, and I toss my phone back into the sheets.
With an unmotivated roll off my bed, I head to the fridge — trying to take my mind off this.
With a lazy pull, I drag open the fridge door,
and find a cold empty box.
I roll my eyes,
and settle for tap water.
The glass clinks as I slouch onto the countertop.
Well, my money’s gone, and my food’s gone, again.
How many more times can I ask for an extension?
I told my landlord it wouldn’t happen again last rent cycle,
And the one before that…
fuck…
My hands smush my face around as I contemplate the situation.
I already took out a loan, and I can’t even pay it back for another two weeks…
“What the hell am I supposed to do…?”
As my mind searches for a way out,
it latches on to a single memory,
and in an instant,
I push away from the counter to rush over to my bed.
Tossing around the covers,
I snatch my phone from the mess,
but as I look down at the screen, my eyes find a new message:
‘hey’
‘how are you feeling?’
He… messaged me?
My phone unlocks,
the message app loads,
Hey, I'm a bit better | Y
Well, not exactly | Y
I actually wanted to ask you, what was it you were offering me | Y
X | are you really in that difficult of a situation?
I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t | Y
X | i’d prefer to explain things to you in person
X | but you seriously need to consider all your options before taking my offer
X | there’s no going back from it, so only if you’re sure
What’s the deal, why won’t he tell me what it is?
Only if I'm sure? I don't know… that’s why I'm asking…
I’d be sure… if…
Can you guarantee me 1500 mora by Tuesday? | Y
X | yes
Then I’m sure | Y
Staring down at the conversation, a link suddenly pops up.
X | meet me here at 22:00, don’t be late
The tension in my chest loosens,
at least my money troubles will be settled, for now.
But, what the hell did I just agree to do?
。。。
Warm steam fills my lungs as I pat myself down with a towel,
then glance at my phone screen: seven-thirty
I have time, hopefully
Stepping out into my room, I search through my remaining clean clothes.
I put together a casual outfit,
topping it with a sweater,
then gather my belongings.
Before I leave, I check the transit time,
if I take the train, I’ll arrive in about an hour and a half.
My fingers linger against the doorknob,
and I sigh to myself,
“I can’t believe I'm doing this…”
—
Emerging from the dingy subway, cool night air hits my face as I reach street level.
That was an incredibly long train ride…
And I can’t say I've ever been to this side of town —
It’s really…
fancy.
There’s expensive restaurants,
high-end clothing stores,
businesses…
of sorts…
They illuminate the sidewalk as I stroll in awe,
passing by elegant couples,
suits and ties,
and groups of people radiating importance that hardly spare me a passing glance,
and I am once again out of my element…
Glaring down at my phone, I allow the directions on screen to guide me:
A couple of turns,
a long stretch of road,
and I end up at a refined bar.
Standing before a polished granite wall, my eyes trail up to see the letters etched into the stone:
‘Angel’s Share’
this is the place.
I step inside — the smell of alcohol permeates my nose.
For a while, I hang around the entrance, scanning the large, dim room,
then look at my phone,
no new messages…
is he even here…?
The longer I wait, the more uneasy I start to feel.
My foot taps.
Where are you? | Y
Hello? | Y
Still nothing.
Feeling the whole room watching me, movement from the island bar catches my eyes:
the bartender’s waving me down.
I drag my feet over.
“You look quite lost, care to tell me what business you have at my bar?” He questions as I approach.
“...I’m, uh, supposed to meet someone here.”
He tosses the rag in his hand somewhere beneath the counter,
“Oh? Well if you give me a name, I might be able to help you out.”
I glance down at my phone, “um, Xiao…”
There’s a beat with no response.
So my attention is drawn back up,
but I notice the bartender’s now staring off to the side.
What’s he-
Just then,
“It’s fine, this one belongs to me…” a familiar voice fills my ears.
An unanticipated skim down my arm sends chills,
it’s followed by clamping fingers against my wrist,
and I freeze on the spot.
“Mhm, I should’ve figured this had something to do with you.”
“Don’t worry about it, we can talk later.”
All of a sudden, I'm yanked to the side,
and through the bar.
Things start to happen too fast for me to keep up with,
I’m taken through a door,
down an old staircase,
and into the depths of a pitch black basement.
My heart pounds against my chest.
And as we come to a stop,
I finally have a moment to think.
Immediately, I begin to frantically shake my wrist, attempting to loosen his grip:
“Let go of me! What’re you trying to do!”
There’s an unexpected tug against my arm, “Would you stop that, and just calm down,”
A flash of a red light against the darkness blinds me.
What the hell was that?
“I’m already dealing with enough…”
A slit of light appears in front of me,
drawing outward until I realize,
it’s a door,
sliding open,
and a couple of voices are heard from the other side:
“Let’s go Xiao, we’re already late…”
“It’ll be okay, we can spare a few minutes…”
I'm pulled into the next room,
then placed into an empty chair.
Xiao’s grip loosens, and he steps away — flinging his hood over his head.
Looking around, there’re a couple of other women here:
One with silver hair, that eyes down Xiao as he drags himself around the table —
and one with soft blue hair, who wears a worried smile as she observes the others.
Xiao stands on the opposite end of the table,
he stops in front of a wall of monitors — screens displaying the bar upstairs.
My focus is drawn back as he starts, bluntly:
“This is Shenhe and Ganyu, you will be working with them tonight.”
His attention switches,
“Shenhe, Ganyu,
this is y/n.”
I awkwardly glance around, from Ganyu trying to give me a cheerful wave,
to Shenhe avoiding eye contact completely,
I simply wave back.
“Great,” Xiao continues,
“your job is to take this case, and deliver it to our client.”
The point of his finger redirects my attention — to the terribly suspicious-looking briefcase that's been laying in the center of the table.
“Then, you’ll bring the payment back to me at the inn, got it?”
His words spark something in Shenhe, “wait, you're not coming with us?”
“No, I can't deal with this for a second longer…”
“You can't deal with this?!” The chair under Shenhe shrieks as her hand hits the table.
I flinch back a bit as it rattles.
“You know what, you're right, go home,” Shenhe mutters, grabbing hold of the case,
then pushes away from the table, “you'd just piss me off anyway…”
her heels click away,
the door hums open,
and my eyes trail over to Xiao who remains stoic.
Not a single word, he just stands there,
arms crossed,
eyes closed.
Ganyu gets up next,
she approaches me, “why don't we go catch up with Shenhe?”
I nod, then go to stand up,
but the second I step away from the table, I hear: “hang on,”
and I turn back to see Xiao staring directly at me, “give me your bag, and your phone.”
huh?
“What, wait- why?”
“For my own insurance,” he replies shortly.
What does that mean? So I'll stay, so I won't run?
It's not like these things are valuable…
and he knows I need money…
I slip my bag off my shoulder with a sigh.
whatever, I need this money just as badly as they need to do…
whatever this is…
I place my phone on top of my bag,
and slide it across the table.
He then shoos us with a wave of his hand.
Ganyu and I head back through the basement,
except this time, the open frame of a bulkhead illuminates the basement.
I climb up, poking my head out to see Shenhe posted next to a sleek black car,
she gestures, “get in.”
Quickly, I climb out of the basement, then rush over to the car —
she sits in the driver's seat,
I close myself into the back.
As Ganyu walks around the car, Shenhe dangles the case behind her seat,
“Would you hold onto this for me, try not to toss it around too much.”
She drops it into my outstretched hands,
and I glare down.
What am I even holding right now?
The front passenger door closes with a THUD.
Maybe it's just some sort of antique or something…
yeah, something like that…
As I stare in contemplation, I hear, “don’t worry,”
and I look up to see Ganyu attempting to give me a reassuring smile,
“it’ll be ok, you’re safe with us, alright?”
All I can really do is nod and smile back as the car pulls out of the alleyway.
