Man i thought I would never come back here to post something on this account, and yet here I fucking am. Why? Because Some of you fucking people do not understand how to let things go.
Stop stalking me.
I can see you whenever people hover over my blog. One would think that after a fucking year, they would move on. but they don’t. I explicitely have told people that I have IP trackers on here. So I had tagged abusive IPs that kept coming back after a while. Anyway....
You want some new food? You want to square off?
You’re probabably too much of a fucking coward but. I have a blog for you.
It is not mine, keep in mind. But they’re ready to either educate your fucking ass or they’ll probably just piss you off more but at the very least, you’ll go tell all your friends that you gatekeep and gaslight. I dunno what else to tell you.
I am just poppin in here to say hi! How are you? My name is Chrys / Fides, you may know me from the blog recently linked titled fidespeaks. I haven’t been posting on that blog because I actually want to start up a proper academic blog regarding and recapping my studies. It’s been slow progress but I promise I’ll link it here just as soon as its up and ready!
Anyway, I am here to tell you who I am: a friend of Khepri’s who is currently studying social psychology, forensic psych, and political science (among a shit ton of other things but that’s the label I’m on this week) and I’m pretty sick of on the prolonged stalking that’s been happening over a simple misunderstanding that’s not been discussed at all!
Now, before you accuse me of being racist or some stupid fucking bullshit based on who I associate with, I will warn you before hand that I am an extremely active volunteer in my community (I volunteer for a couple of LGBT groups and a group that helps former inmates find work and mental health help due to the shit that prisons make them go thru) and I am a major advocate for prison and criminal justice reform. In fact, it’s my entire hyperfocus rn!! So... if you have questions for me or any concerns, feel free to ask either here or on my other blog and I’ll be happy to answer them for you.
But !! For the most part I’ll be handling things on this blog from now on! So if you’re here to be a creepy creep who’s hunting Khepri, I’m really afraid you’re going to be very upset!! I’m currently working on an entire rebuttal of the whole callout, but as you can probably assume my life is extremely busy and my attempts to implement actual social progress in my community take precedent over dealing with stupid little idiots who think their performative allyship means anything in the grand scope of things :)
If ur white or white passing it’s ur responsibility as an ally to educate and put urself in potentially dangerous situations to do so even if ur “tired” or “sick of educating” bc I guarantee the bipoc ur supposed to be lifting up are just as tired as you are and the situation is far more dangerous. the key indicator of performative allyship v true allyship is an unwillingness to put urself in uncomfortable situations due to ur white fragility (or rlly an unwillingness to put urself in dangerous situations at all but I’m not gonna keep carrying on bc this is a vent not an essay)✌️
alright. i’ve decided that i will be making a more ‘formal’ post about it. now that i have actually had some sleep and food. This honestly has been a thing I have considered for a while now. But now even more so given everything that has happened. mind you, it has been about a month now. I gave it some time and some thought about it. the only reason why i hadn’t considered of moving is because that would then mean that the case I filed would go inactive.
yes, i, a civilian who handles & knows about how cases work cause I read them every day, filed a police report due to stalking and doxxing. I may tolerate a lot of things. but I do not tolerate that form of harassment.
I knew they wouldn’t get anywhere with it, especially since two people who were actively participating in the stalking were in the 2 RICH neighbourhoods that have shitty LEAs imo. hiring a PI would mean that I have money. I do not have that money ( amazing right? ). I have said this and will continue to say it time and time again, I grew up poor, and i am not remotely close to the 10 percenters. I find it rather despicable that AFTER A MONTH the same people ( or their white knights ) are monitoring me. leave me alone.
This obsession that these people have is messed up. They will kill somebody with what they are doing. And honestly. I have a few words for them. Not sure if i’ll ever post that publicly cause idk if its worth it. I know that it’ll eventually get to them, but for now i wont be posting my words for them. Anyway...
I have moved claude to a fresh new account with a new URL. Please inquire about it if I have forgotten to get to you in private. keep in mind, I will only give it to those who have spoken to me outside of tumblr.
For those of you who wish to still interact with me. Yes, I will be approaching those that I still talk to. Please know that I will move all of our interactions onto the new blog. Our developed relationships are still there as well. I simply moved to declutter the mess here. as well to get people away from me. I am not, and never have been, part of the FE RPC. my new blog for claude is unaffiliated with FE. so.... keep that in mind. This is going to be a friends only blog. Key word: FRIENDS.
For those of you that are still monitoring / stalking this blog / keeping tabs on me - please. do yourself a favour. and block me if you find my new account. Rest assured, I have already blocked all blogs that I know of. this means about 90% of whatever is left of the fe fandom ( as well as those gate keepers / white knights who think its fun to harass people ) I was not here for you, i was never here for you. get off your high horse. you all made this a mess for yourselves. Congrats, you will be surprised that people hate you for what you did. They are angry for me. And you know what, I was more hurt than anything. I, however, do not hate you. I just think you all are children and need to get better lives than to have a god damn burn book and have a tumblr hive mentality.
also yea. you know what. if you are so angry about it. and if this is what everybody wants to hear from me then fine. here. taken straight from the census website. ( which you know i kinda hate but whatever. its the legal definition )
By the legal definition: i am white. Be mad guys. but I have had every white person and POC, including some black folk, say that I am white passing. I get very dark in the summer. when i was young, i was mistaken for latinx all the time. I never claimed to be latino or middle eastern. never. please stop assuming everything on somebody you have never met. Anyway....
if I ever decide to say what i have to say to the people i want to address. it will be on this blog. but meh. not today. not right now.
I will only do an archer’s salute to you all and i am leaving. pce my dudes. and cheers my dears.
probably saw this coming. but im moving. i may make a better post later. i may not. either way. pce my dudes. lmk if you wanna keep interacting. there’s like 3 people here i want to still follow. yea. in case i don’t make another ‘formal’ post about it. but yea... pce. block me if you find me & don’t like me. hmu / like this post if you are interested in the new location.
“Claude, you need to be more careful.” There was a bit of worry in his voice, but a bit of a scolding tone that accompanied it. Linhardt really hated the sight of blood, and it didn’t help that the bandages were already starting to get saturated with it. His thin fingers ran across Claude’s arm, applying pressure every couple centimeters or so to make sure there wasn’t any significant nerve damage in the area. His eyes would glance up to meet Claude’s every minute or so, but he would quickly look away. More so out of his own flustered conscience than anything else. “Once the bandage starts getting too saturated with your blood, come see someone to replace the bandages. I’d feel horrible if you got an infection because of carelessness.”
“There, you should be fine. Although I do suggest not straining your body or doing any more training for a day or two. You could injure yourself further if you continue to place more strain on it.” Linhardt let out a smile, proud of his bandage work. Years of war will teach you how to be good at caring for wounds when you’re too lazy to do any actual fighting. I’ll keep an eye on you, just in case – he thought to himself. But he was sure Claude was hearty enough to take care of himself. Or so he hoped.
➵ @baracaffe - dedue //: asked
[ first few get kisses ]
💋 // probably i'm late but dedue wants kisses
☪ //: ➵ ALWAYS HAD HABIT of staying up far too late than he should have, but for the man, it was more than necessary. The noble refused to rest until the war was over -- surely the other would understand, right? ( ah but of course he would ) Dedue was a man of duty. He, of all people, would know EXACTLY what it was like to bound to responsibility. For Claude, this was something that must be done.
THOUGH it seemed as though the other was also bound by his own duties. Something that Claude had forgotten himself, but Dedue had not. Saved from a possible ( certain ! ) death; then had somehow managed to convince the other to help him UNITE people. Never was forced to stay, but also didn’t have a desire to see him leave either. Was genuinely very grateful for the decision to stay.
SO WHEN the riegan noble heard the other man enter the room, head could only turn slightly to glance back. Visage had been learning against one hand, the other had a quill in its possession, but it was lowered carefully. Could tell something was up -- or perhaps he wanted something? The man was tired, but he wasn’t BLIND. Besides, how long have they known each other now? Formalities should have been long gone by now. They were, at least, for Claude.
❝ dedue ... ❞ his calm voice made it apparent . his walls were down . but there was no reason to have them up with the other either . ever since they had gotten to know one another better , claude could feel it , he was safe with him . ❝ have i really been up that long ? ❞
COURSE, they both knew that answer. The noble just had a terrible habit of admitting own faults -- amongst other things. Yet, here they were, together, in the same room. Claude doing the same thing he was always doing: staying up late, devising strategies, && figuring out what to do. Dedue doing the same he was always doing: beside him, supporting him, && fetching him when it got too late. Felt entirely grateful for him. Especially during these days -- when he felt so very ALONE in the world. He wondered, though, if the other truly KNEW how much he appreciated him.
❝ hmmm ... ❞ as he stood up , it seemed the other was already there beside him , as if he was waiting to catch him in case he fell . ah , well , he was tired . even perhaps slightly out of it , but he stood his ground for a mere moment . ❝ you’re always too kind . tell me ... do you ever tire of it .... ❞ ( like i do ? )
GENTLY, he reaches for the taller man’s hand. Fingers intertwine with his for a moment but he’s a bit hesitant. There is a sense && desire of LONGING coming from Claude. ( he’s lonely ) He’s always been playful in the past with him , with everybody, but this time, it’s different. He is needy -- but maybe they both are. Not for anything really out of the ordinary, but still the feeling is different. Maybe he had this feeling all this time; maybe he just didn’t know. Perhaps, though, that Dedue had felt the same way? ( surely he must have ! ) Felt that, perhaps, he would have been denied otherwise. But he wasn’t.
PERHAPS it was because he was tired, sleepy ! ( you think too much claude ) But this was what they both wanted, right? Fortunately, it seemed like Dedue knew as much && made no effort in stopping him. In fact, it seemed as though he was expecting it? Could tell he was leaning in - yet it seemed like he didn’t fully know HOW MUCH the noble wanted. Perhaps he expected a kiss on the cheek, yet.... that wasn’t what Claude was going for.
REACHED for the other man’s face carefully. He is strangely softer than usual, but maybe it is because he wants to be. Leans in for a kiss. Not on the cheek, not on the nose or brow, but on the lips. It’s light, gentle. Lingers there for a moment -- as if he doesn’t want to pull away, but he does anyway. Instead of going to say anything about it at first, all Claude can do is rest his head against the other.
TIRED is perhaps not something nearly good enough to describe how worn he is. Broken is perhaps not a good one either. But with all that they have lost, it seems rather easy to feel that way. Yet, something stops him from giving up. Claude cannot help but to wonder, if perhaps Dedue is a reason for it. He always seemed so SUPPORTIVE of him -- even when he felt so much against the odds.
❝ ah ... forgive me , my friend . i must be tired but ... did i ever said thank you ? ❞
“ family isn’t who you’re born with, it’s who you’d die for. ”
☪ //: ➵ OLIVE HUES GLANCED over at the other carefully. The words spoken seemed to resonate hard within him. Growing up, he had felt so alone. His mother && father, though very good to him, were not the only ones he was related to by blood. No.... He had brothers, sisters... only related to him by half ( but still related to him nonetheless ). Life with the Royal family was.... STRANGE to say the least. Seemed like everybody knew somebody, && yet, nobody knew anybody. One would think that in such a big family, the noble would have somebody to turn to. But that was NEVER the case. Always had to sleep with one eye open. Not to mention that everybody in his Almyran house KNEW of his background -- which was the reason for his discrimination.
CLAUDE knew what it was like to feel lonely. He knew that family.... was not always everything. At least not those blood related. Did have some, though, that he would always hold forever close to heart. CHERISHED them && would do so until the end of his days. Those were the ones that were called family -- that was HOME.
YVAINE was right -- maybe more than she knew ( though the assumption was made that she was very wise already ). To hear these things time and time again from her was often refreshing. Not always, but in this case... It was RELIEVING to hear. As if something calmed the worry within him.
❝ yve , i -- ❞ paused for a moment before a smile is drawn on his face . he knew he didn’t need to hide from her - who could she possibly tell ? but it was an old habit of his . one that he knew would have to be broken sooner or later . ❝ you know ... i would like to think that too . but i suppose i would rather live for them - with them . isn’t it better when we all come out alive ... together ? ❞
Alright. Enough is enough. I know that you were maybe trying to ask nicely? maybe?? but... Please stop. its been a month. you want your answer? You will actually be surprised. And its probably something that nobody really wants believe.
No. I am NOT a cop. I am NOT a police officer. I am sure you weren’t trying to mean any harm in asking. but please read before you actually send things.....
And send it OFF anon or in the DMs.....
i am seriously not going to attack you.
I really do say it on my other document.
note: with.
I AM NOT A COP.
is that what you wanted to hear?
probably not. but it’s the truth.
but hey clearly i’m wrong....
dont know how the truth can be wrong but hey? idk.
i understand you are anxious and nervous. but mind you, aside from existing and having literally no desire to do anything but to write with friends, you all are really out here hyper fixating on somebody who has a different opinion than you and has a different background than you. also i had some of these people BLOCKED prior to the thing anyway. and why do you think i didn’t follow certain people?
besides. i am an anxious mess myself. and i really am just absolutely TIRED of this.... just stop..... if you have people telling you that i am not a cop, then maybe ask those people to clarify? or if you really wanted to know. come to me OFF anon.
the only reason why i will be saying anything about this is cause i’ve gotten enough asks about the same thing.
some of these people need serious help if they are this obsessed over a somebody that they never talked to. and if it isn’t you, then please help your friends. They need help. find help for them.
i have never:
expected anything out of people ( and partners )
called somebody ( a poc / minority ) a slur
physically sought out to hurt another
spent countless hours trying to get rid of somebody off a website.
i also don’t own a gun myself and i am terrified of holding one. i do not like guns. like if cops are trigger happy with their weapons, wouldn’t that pose a problem for me if i were an actual cop???
This is the last post that im really going to say anything about this. i can no longer physically deal with this matter as i have really far more real life things to worry about like my actual chronic pain that has actually worsened since march ( and guess whos scared of going to the doctor cause they have had a cough since high school that they havent been able to get rid of it since.... its me. )
i have different core values and beliefs. but honestly. every person i have spoken to in privately, i have been extremely nice towards? I’m able to have critical conversations / discussions with another in a mature and humane way and i have apologised when i needed to because im still human and i have a terrible habit of explaining poorly especially when i am frazzled. which is a lot because i am a trainwreck of a mess.
i do ask you ( or your friends ) to please think more critically about things.
mind you, i am an academic, i will talk and ramble?? that’s just what i have done my entire life?
btw, to answer your question.... law enforcement =/= cop. and if anybody actually took the time to look into it, there’s a lot of layers to it. its the same thing when you say you work in the legal field or you work for the court system. those don’t automatically make you a lawyer or a judge. and you think cops were shitty?
guys, when you say defund the police and destroy the system. and good cops quit. okay, sure. but tell me how are you gonna fix it then? cause i can assure you the social worker isn’t gonna safely de-escalate an active shooter. they will call the cops. and if good cops quit then im sorry but don’t get upset when you get a bad cop to a call then?
good cops don’t quit.
they’re fired or let go. they resign cause they were told to.
they’re forced to leave cause their department is corrupt and they’ve been made to.
don’t get me started on the unions cause they’ve let too many people down too. i have seen good cops leave because the unions don’t do anything for them.
good cops leave cause there are so many bad ones and its like 20 to 1. you want to defund the police? i think you guys want to.... try to put more effort into reforming it. more training, harsher / stricter guidelines, more testing and requirements. instead of hiring old war veterans who are trigger happy cause they have ptsd ( and need help ). btw, i am all for gun reform as well. but hey, guess that makes me evil right? look into finding and training people who have a desire to keep everybody safe. that requires money. I’ve always said this. we needed to stop putting all of our money into the military and put it into education. EDUCATION. because that’s so important.
oh but what do i know. guess im not a sociologist... oh wait...did i mention that 80% of the classes i took were sociology classes? cool. I also took psychology and behaviour classes. and i would and will do it all again. cause i want a degree in forensic psychology. oh and cyber security. no it’s not to study others and treat them poorly, it’s so i can understand them better. I have said this, but im sure nobody is going to take the time and effort to read all of this.
but sure, go ahead and listen to the allegations that the OP of the callout has made if you want. You know... they even say it themselves.... they never talked to me. never ever. 1v1. cause i can assure you. if they had? they wouldn’t have made that or make false allegations on me.
the ONLY person that really has any reason to be angry is howl. to which i had apologised to but he doesn’t have to accept it. I genuinely didn’t know he would get upset about something like that? I cannot read every single person over what little conversation i had with them? and I cannot gauge a written conversation. i didn’t really know much about him? so yea, im sorry i upset him. i had talked to a lot of poc about the situation in not only fe3h but in the other games prior to him who aren’t on tumblr. they didn’t nearly take offense to it as howl did and they actually were pretty chill about it.
But maybe it’s cause i play a game where half the community is toxic and we all see a slur directed to my friends at least once a day. im constantly misgendered, but i’ve gotten so numb to it that i’ve stopped caring about it. i just play with my friends. I play with an entire group of straight, black men. and many of them are very rowdy. my best friend whom people mistake us for a couple, is asian. like he’s even said it himself, he’s more racist than white people. the only guy that’s actually gay is a scrawny white guy - which he and i work well together cause he’s part of the lgbtqa community and so am i. but i love them all.
anyway. i know that maybe you or your friends want some sort of apology. but i will not apologise to people who have attacked me blindly. in all honesty, i already said that the only person that deserves an apology is howl. he got it and doesn’t want it. i’ve blocked and i want to move on.
i’m also not leaving either. i’ve been here for far longer than many people. come hell or highwater, i would rather die than to leave this hellhole. i suggest you just block me if you don’t like me. stop harassing my friends too. we are all very tired of this.
another thing, it’s a bit wild to see who you think is ‘enabling’ me. cause i can assure you, some people you think are enabling me, i have never even seen in my life. and we are all pretty surprised where this wild goose chase went. you could have... you know.... asked me.
➵ 𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴 : claude ( khalid ) von riegan
➵ 𝙰𝙶𝙴 : 17 - 18 / 23 -24
➵ 𝙷𝙴𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 : 175 cm / ~5′9
➵ 𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙲𝙸𝙴𝚂 : human
➵ 𝙶𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 : male
➵ 𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈 : almyran / fodlanese
➵ 𝙱𝙸𝚁𝚃𝙷𝙳𝙰𝚈 : 24 july
➵ 𝚂𝚄𝙽 𝚂𝙸𝙶𝙽 : leo ( cusp )
➵ 𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 : almyra / leicester
➵ 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝚄𝚂 : dependent
➵ 𝙰𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙽𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 : chaotic good
➵ 𝙳𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙺 : tea ( almyran pine peedles / chamomile / leicester cortania )
➵ 𝙵𝙾𝙾𝙳 : pheasant roast with berry sauce / beast meat teppanyaki / pickled rabbit skewers / daphnel stew / scrambled eggs with vegetables
➵ 𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝙾𝚁 𝙽𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 : Night
➵ 𝚂𝙽𝙰𝙲𝙺𝚂 : mixed nuts ( does baklava count as a snack? )
➵ 𝙿𝙴𝚃 : not really a pet but a white wyvern .
➵ 𝙲𝙾𝙻𝙾𝚄𝚁 : green ( though yellow is a close second )
➵ 𝙵𝙻𝙾𝚆𝙴𝚁 : desert rose , hibiscus , achillea
➵ 𝚂𝙴𝚇𝚄𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈 : bisexual
➵ 𝙱𝙾𝙳𝚈 𝚃𝚈𝙿𝙴 : mesomorph
➵ 𝙴𝚈𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝙻𝙾𝚁 : dull olive green
➵ 𝙷𝙰𝙸𝚁 𝙲𝙾𝙻𝙾𝚁 : chocolate brown
Tagged by: @consacro like a long time ago.... thanks.
Tagging: anybody who wants to do this, do it. and say i tagged you... just @ me so i can see it and ♥ it please.
speak with a smirk, your smile can be a magnet. speak with a scowl, your eyes could cut like daggers.
walk with your head high, let your wings stretch as wide as possible. never look down on mortals, you’re meant for the skies.
dress to the nines no matter the occasion. ballgowns from any time period, victorian suits, knights armor. blood stains are simply proof of your power.
stain your lips with cherries or pomegranates, or even blood. slip daggers into your hair and tie your hair back with gold chains. never forget to adorn your head with a crown.
always touch, never be touched. let your hands roam their body freely, and take your time sizing up your pray. when you kiss them, don’t forget to bite.
carry around books from the crusades, from witches, from the romans. read to remember the battles you were apart of, the stories written after you.
speak in latin, in ancient greek, in ancient tamil. let the mortals know your words have power. scrawl ominous sayings across the wall, whether it be in blood or wine
every day feast as if there’s no tomorrow. accept only ambrosia and wine. sit at the head of your table and unfurl your wings, the world is at your fingertips.
let the women circle around you, shouting your name in a crazed way. let them dedicate their lives to your glory, let them kill to be near you. you are above all.
take your time. time runs by you, drink your wine slowly, scrawl threats on paper without rush, slide your sword into the mere mortal tenderly. you own the world.
anyway, in case you haven’t noticed, activity is probably gonna be lowered for a bit. my mental health is not the best, and it’s physically affecting me. i’l be trying to post one ic thing a day, but i don’t know how that will go as claude’s muse has always been finicky. i’ll at least go for a hc thing a day. i do have more muse on link, but again. don’t know what else to do. i’m gonna try to play fe3h but i also got pmd and i still need to get a couple of other games. I love claude though so i will never be letting go of him and i’m here out of spite. he really is such a good muse and character. i just need to take it easy.
that and currently. im having to deal with some other irl complications. so yea. needless to say. i may not be here much except for like once a day.
also...
it took somebody 3 times last night to get them to the right place after they called and said fuck you and fuck the police to us the first two times. two times before the girlfriend called back a third time and asked about our policy and the difference on something. i, who is not an officer, know that distinct difference but didn’t know how to explain it better cause what she was telling me was against policy ( and she clearly knew that as well ), so i told her to the best of my ability, and very calmly, that if she desired, i could transfer her to dispatch as they would have more information on the situation. and if it was about an officer complaint then to ask for the watch commander - which she actually seemed to be wanted and was very keen on that. the entire time i heard the guy in the background still screaming profanities at me. and saying this was bullshit. at least she was very sweet and pleasant to me and that made my shitty night a little bit better....
anyway, low and behold, come to find out something else happened entirely and im lowkey tired and annoyed. my coworker hung up on the dude but seriously. if you’re gonna call in, at least let me trying to explain your options ???? its like okay. you want to complain and want to get stuff done then??? give me that option to tell you what to do. instead of hanging up twice. my coworker was like “damn the gf really went ‘give me that phone, you’re a dumbass’ and called back huh.”
but yea. i started crying last night at work as well and i messed up on paperwork twice. and had to call another agency 2 times cause i could not get it right the first time.
it probably also doesnt help that my trainee is also in the same boat as me and has been having a shitty time since june.
crucial muse development questions. send a number in my inbox to find out more about my character as a person ( because often, the most important things about character development have nothing to do with their shoe size or netflix queue ).
what would completely break your character?
what was the best thing in your character’s life?
what was the worst thing in your character’s life?
what seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?
does your character work so they can support their hobbies or use their hobbies as a way of filling up the time they aren’t working?
what is your character reluctant to tell people?
how does your character feel about sex?
how many friends does your character have?
how many friends does your character want?
what would your character make a scene in public about?
for what would your character give their life?
what are your character’s major flaws?
what does your character pretend or try to care about?
how does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?
