I need to feel in order to heal. I love and hate feeling so deeply, I don’t know why I find the duality in everything. I find beauty in pain, confusion, conflict. I love the stillness but live for the chaos. I think too much, I feel too much, I love too much. I’m not too much maybe everything else just isn’t enough. People and experience do not quench the thirst I have for life and all it has to offer. My madness is the only love I let myself embrace. I feel empty not nurturing someone, I feel useless not guiding someone. I want to love and be loved deeply, wholeheartedly and purely. It’s so hard to find someone you trust and to find someone who trusts you. So many people are misguided, I want to help them all. If only people saw the power in their weaknesses. Emotions are not meant to be repressed, they’re meant to be felt. What makes you different and flawed is what makes you beautiful. When I see hesitance in someone to open up, it makes me want to wait even longer. It makes me more inclined to be there to peel each layer back until they’ve put all their trust in me. Is it because I want to heal or because I like to see the vulnerability in others since I myself am so vulnerable? I’m an open book, but not really. I talk a lot. A lot. But so many people even the closest of my friends actually know very little about me. I don’t trust people enough to share things about who I really am and why. I keep a lot to myself, not because I want to but because I haven’t found my counterpart. My counterpart that will complement each one of my waking thoughts with their practicability and enlightenment. I want someone likeminded but completely different from me at the same time. I have to learn something from you for you to uphold value and longevity in my life. I want someone to love me the way I love others. I want to make someone’s life easier with my presence and affection, I want to love. I love to love. Finding beauty in everything and everyone leaves me depleted, giving so much of myself to people and things that could never give me half of what I give them. I’d never wish to share another way of thinking though. People are not my problem, I am my problem. And my solution.
titsay
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discoholicmusic
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