things that should be non-negotiable in the discourse (regardless of side)
i appreciate people have differing opinions, but you can still express your opinion whilst acknowledging the following things (i have included things that i see on both sides):
- ace/aro identities are real and valid identities that often hold a lot of importance to those that have them. disregarding this part of someone’s identity is disrespectful and bad discourse. you can argue for exclusionism without shitting on someone’s identity/saying it isn’t real/saying they shouldn’t tell anyone ever other than their partner.
- claiming lesbian/bi/gay/pan/trans/nb ace/aro people aren’t lgbt is shitty and wrong. if you see someone saying this, call it out.
- cis bi/pan people are just as capable of transphobia as cis gay people/lesbians. don’t pit the “LG” and “BT” against eachother.
- ace/aro people who are exclusionists are still ace/aro. i’ve seen posts claiming that they aren’t and it’s gross. they aren’t traitors to their ace/aro identity, just like lgbt inclusionists are still lgbt and aren’t traitors to their community- attacking peoples’ identities doesn’t do anything to advance the debate, it’s just rude.
- not everyone is comfortable with the q slur, it shouldn’t be used to refer to someone when that person hasn’t given their permission. reclaiming it for yourself and being proud of that is fine! but you don’t have the authority to tell others they have to use it too.
-claiming young children can be asexual is wrong. it ignores the fact that children are still developing and sexualises other children. acknowledging this as a fact isn’t invalidating ace identities, it’s acknowledging that this identity works in a different way to others because it specifically involves sexual attraction. additionally, using the “but then kids can’t be gay!” argument as a response is homophobic.
- to reclaim the q slur, you have to be trans or attracted to the same gender. you can still argue for inclusionism without insisting that ace/aro people can use homophobic/transphobic slurs by virtue of being ace/aro. claiming otherwise is false and offensive.
- referring to non ace people as “sexuals” or “allosexuals” is unacceptable. using this term sexualises that person’s identity without their consent and is often used for people that simply haven’t specified if they’re ace or not- it’s creepy to make speculations about someone’s sexual attraction when they’ve purposefully not made a public comment on it. don’t use these terms, be respectful.
- calling exclusionists TERFs is unacceptable and transphobic. the great majority of us are trans or nb, and this additionally trivialises the problems trans women face in regards to access to medical care and exclusion from women’s spaces. the term “REG” is also transphobic, and other comparisons that have been made such as calling exclusionists nazis/white supremacists/other are vile.
- no one should be wishing death on each other. i’ve seen a post or there that’s said ace/aro people should die, i’ve seen a post here or there that say things like exclusionists should be “shot on sight”. both are unacceptable, both are bad discourse. if you see this, call it out and no platform them if they’re on your side. if it’s the other side then bring it to their attention so it can be dealt with.
- if you’re an exclusionist and you see an ace pride post that’s not discourse related: LEAVE IT ALONE. people can make ace moodboards, etc. if they want to. if it’s just simply someone expressing their identity, leave them be. if you think it’s cringey? fine, you’re entitled to your opinion but you don’t need to hijack their post and announce to them how “”“cringey and embarrassing”“” you think they are.
- don’t spam the tags with shit that shouldn’t be there. exclusionists, don’t put gore/sexual content/hate in the ace positivity tag. if you see this being done then call it out and no platform them. both sides, don’t put discourse in the ace positivity tag. eg. “ACE/ARO PPL AREN’T LGBT LOL!!!” or “CISHET ACES ARE LGBT AND Q*EER”. both are instances of exposing people to discourse when they have come to a tag for positivity. don’t ruin the tag for people who need it, and additionally don’t exclude ace/aro people from your posts because they have a different opinion. positivity should be accessible to everyone regardless of their stance.
*i hope i’ve given a somewhat balanced list highlighting things to be avoided by both sides. if you feel i’ve missed something then feel free to add to this!
NOTE: please don’t put stuff like “whats non negotiable is that aces are/arent lgbt!!!”. it’s immature and it doesn’t achieve anything because this is a post about being respectful and acting appropriately when expressing differences of opinion.
prguitarman
areudirty
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
discoholicmusic
baratheonpilled
pixelskylines
