[riotrisk]

about me!

undergrad latam studies major | NYC-based | tumblrina since 2015

nerdy gym rat and enjoyer of historical non-fiction, homoeroticism, elton john, hip-hop, dan and phil, and heated rivalry

archive of our own (18+)

letterboxd

storygraph

album of the year

[grabmyboner]

big bicep daddies shane and ilya. they both flex their biceps so much that when their kids are asked at school to tell everyone three facts about their parents they say 1) they play hockey 2) they are very silly especially papa but papa can make daddy very silly too 3) they both have very big arms the biggest in the whole world.

[yoi-scans]

New visual for the 10th anniversary, set to appear on stickers distributed at Fantasy on Ice, and a limited edition 10th anniversary Bluray release.

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

shane would see their kids creepy drawings and be like wow, great job bud. you're so creative. meanwhile ilya is frantically googling is my child possessed and calling sveta asking her if the time they got 'cursed' by an old witch as kids was real because he thinks it skipped him and went to his kid and why doesn't shane see it

[punksalmons]

the thing about shane is that he goes for the throat without even knowing it

[pseudophan]

in every universe (threat)

[themoonandmyman]

#myshane couldn’t give less of a fuck about queer culture he just likes dick in his ass and he loves a Man. If you asked him about Stonewall he’d think it was the name of a tech startup.

#myilya is a fag and he loves it. him and harris watch queer movies once a month with Harris’ mom and they drink margaritas with little umbrellas in them.

[myshangel]

how shane and ilya are sitting at their daughter's preschool after she got put in time out for saying "hello gay boy" (ilya has used this greeting to piss shane off for years and did Not know she could repeat it)

[whitealbum]

i actually think being staunchly against rpf out of respect for celebrities that don’t know you is more parasocial than shipping them #darkwoke

[urie]

[penandinkprincess]

moment of silence for the in-universe shane hollander fans with crushes who can't even drown the pain with "ilya rozanov, can you fight?" jokes because the answer is Very Much Yes

[shillanov]

it is so important to me that the league's designated bad boy 😎 is in a relationship with the league's designated good boy 🤓 and that the bad boy isn’t as bad as he seems 🥺 and that the good boy isn’t as good as he seems either 😏

[aslongasitsblack]

shane becomes convinced cliff and ilya are having an affair because they keep sending each other shit like ‘let me know when you’re back in boston big boy i want to slob on that monster dong’ and finally shane confronts him and ilya is like no baby this is how straight men talk to each other when they’re convinced each other are straight and shane’s like i have never said anything like that to anyone and ilyas like well except to me ;) and shane punches him in the arm and shows him his texts from hayden and they are all like ‘Hey Shane ☺️ thank you for sending Jackie mothers day flowers. We appreciate you so much man.’ and ilyas like shane. this is so fucking gay

[dogpuppy]

[eugeniedanglars]

ilya's phone gets hacked and his texts are leaked on the internet but everyone is so distracted by the shocking reveal of his torrid sexual affair with marleau that the jane stuff just kinda flies under the radar. he and marly explain that when they text each other like "need to choke on that thick cock rn" they're just joking and they get cancelled for treating gay sex as a punchline

[bugslibraryy]

Guysss you KNOW baby Shane had a favourite soft toy like a lovely little bear- he literally named it ‘little bear’ that is so nice and soft he rubbed its little paw for comfort to sleep every night and it went EVERYwhere with him from when he was old enough to reach for it, tiny little toddler Shane running around the house dragging little bear behind him took it with him to kindergarten and on holidays and school camps and always his comfort, even going in to high school little bear was shoved under his pillow.

Then he thought he was too old for that kind of thing anymore and he got packed away and anyway one night Shane and Ilya are at Yuna and David’s for dinner and they are like oh Shane we got out some of your old stuff cause we moved some stuff to the storage locker etc etc and go through this book and see what you want to keep. And Ilya is doing his important job of being Shane’s chair while Shane goes through the boxes and Ilya reaches around Shane to pick up little bear who is squished in the box and he is like “who is this” and Shane is like oh just a toy and David is like ?????? Just a TOY! That’s little bear! And he’s telling Ilya how Shane wouldn’t EVER part with the soft toy for like the first six years of his life and the one time he had drive back two hours on a road trip to the hotel they’d left because someone little bear got left behind and when Shane woke up from his nap and realised it was like FUCK all hands on DECK we gotta go find this guy.

AnWAYYY Ilya is like omg ! This is a very important guy !!!!! How do I not know about him and like maybe he’s gonna cry a little because he’s thinking about tiny baby Shane and oh god. And then he tucks little bear under his arm and it’s ridiculous and he’s carrying him around the rest of the evening and teasing Shane a bit abt it and Shane just scoffs and deflects and then when they get home Shane realises Ilyas bought the toy home with him and he’s like Ilya 😠🙄 drop it and Ilya is like I was not kidding he seems very important to you I do not think he should be in david and Yuna’s storage locker !

Anywayyy Shane comes out of the shower and Ilyas laying in bed and little bear is next to Shane’s pillow and Shane is like 😠😠😠 Ilya. And all rolling his eyes and huffy puffy abt it and Ilya is like Shane. And grabs him and pulls him into bed and he is like why are you being so bitchy to your old friend and Shane gets all kinda quiet and chewing at the inside of his cheek and he’s like well. Isn’t it kinda lame and embarrassing. Like you don’t think I’m like lame for having him all that time like Ilya I was 14 before he got packed away! And Ilya is like big pretty eyes at Shane with that frown he gets when he is not happy how Shane is talking about himself. And Ilya is like Shane no I would never be like this- I think it is sweet and I feel sad that you had to give him up. I like anything that makes you happy and i am also serious I like this guy he is very cute and was best friends with cute baby Shane so I am big fan of his work. And Shane is all shuuudduppp and huffy and pushes at Ilya’s chest but he leaves little bear in the bed, tucked somewhere near their heads and that becomes little bears new home, between all of Shane’s nice interior designer pillows, and he goes with Ilya when he and Shane have to be apart and Shane catches Ilya on a bad day, napping with the stupid thing smushed to his chest and it kills Shane and then Ilya tucks it into Shane’s neck sometimes when he’s upset and overwhelmed and Shane’s heart is just 💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫 because he can just be fully him wit Ilya’s and there only ever love no judgement just love love love

[hidey0urfangs]

Andrew Neiman literally me 😂😂 tell me I’m good enough 😂😂😂😂 I’ll never be good enough 😂😂😂 hit me with a car 😂😂😂😂

[penandinkprincess]

i know that ilya's ass is SO dramatic about getting his goodbye kisses after he and shane are together

shane forgets because he's running late for a meeting one day and has to rush out of the door, and he then arrives at the studio for the photoshoot he has booked to see a text from ilya with three different headstone styles with "one of these, i think"

and is just "for?? what??"

"when i am dead from broken heart because my husband does not love me anymore and does not kiss me before i will not see him for twenty years"

"ilya, i will be home in like four hours"

*pictures of two different casket models* "i am thinking the darker wood one, but perhaps that is too nice for your taste now that you do not love me anymore. perhaps you will bury me in cardboard shoe box like sad, dead hamster."