Don't Even Look at Me

Fighting to get through the bad times and the good times without drowning in the process.

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What do i do at 230 am on an almost wedding night? Yep.......#merrittthegathering #tomorrowimmrsmerritt

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Thank you so much to @katie.chittenden.7 @mayaramosdeeds @janette713 and @stefani pearson for all of your help! We killed it! My decor for the wedding is on point! #sneakpeak #wedding #merrittthegathering #21daysuntilimmrsmerritt #butterfly

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The first time our tats have been pictured together since we got em done! #butterfly #elephant #matchingtattoos #colortattoo #soulmates #merrittthegathering #34daysuntilimmrsmerritt 💕💕💕💕 (at Carnival Inspiration Cruise Ship)

[dragongirltitties]

it is illegal to have cards

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I can't believe I actually won it! Thanks David Merritt for the help on the mini improvements this morning! #spirits #bant #winnerwinnerchickendinner! #mtg #mtggamedaychampion #eldritchmoon #alwayswatching #tamiyo #dragonlordojutai (at Medieval Comics)

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Gratitude Journal Day 1

Recently i have gone through kind of a crazy storm of emotions. I find myself losing who i want to be in the process. I am trying to practice gratitude daily. I read an article about a daily gratitude journal. So i figured i would start one.......im using tumblr mostly out of convenience. Today I am grateful for the following things: I was able to sit with my fiances sister and have a civil conversation. Although the entire time i was thinking of how much i couldn't stand her i was still thankful no drama came out of it. My fiance drove most of the day today and i was grateful so i could play pokemon go. That was pretty awesome. I was grateful today that my hair wasnt too frizzy and seemed to be doing well with the hair treatment after the harsh coloring. I know there is a lot more gratitude i could be practicing but the depression is really sinking in right now....we will see if day 2 is a thing.

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Sometimes make up investment can make things easier....even on low make up days! #nofilter #latergram #urbandecay #bareminerals #maccosmetics #benefit

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First time conversation with my soon to be hubby.

[extramadness]

It’s one of those dumb days where nothing’s really wrong but nothing’s really right either and the sky can’t even choose to be white or gray.

Andrea Portes (via extramadness)

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Mental Health Awareness Month

I am writing this in complete transparency. It is most likely not the smartest choice on my end, but sometimes I need an outlet. Having depression, anxiety, or any other mental health diagnosis is extremely difficult. Most people won’t understand. Most people in the field I work in may be educated, but have no idea of the constant struggle people go through even with something as small as depression or anxiety. Whether people are utilizing medication, therapy, or other means of treatment every day is a struggle. The smallest things can trigger someone’s feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, or toxicity. Then that person has to be able to go through the constant coaching sessions just to make sure they can get through that moment, and realize it’s not the end of the world. Sometimes those coaching sessions don’t work. Sometimes that person has to fall and struggle to get back up. That person’s confidence is ALWAYS in question and the insecurities linger. The insecurity of even having a diagnosis and feeling judged or misunderstood is constantly at the forefront of their mind. Their worst critic is themselves, 100 percent of the time. This past year has had some of the best times of my life, in addition to some of the lowest points. Every day is still a struggle for me. But my life isn’t just about me; I have an amazing man that I love with every piece of my being, who also struggles every minute of every day. His past year has also had some highs and some really definitive lows that I struggle to understand. May is mental health awareness month, so please, instead of just wearing a green ribbon, or sharing a post, or changing your profile picture – do some research, and try to understand how you can become not only more informed, but be there for the people in your life who may be struggling with a mental health diagnosis. Just because it isn’t a physical disability, doesn’t mean it’s not hindering their everyday life like one. Thanks for listening, and reading – if nothing else – I mean if nothing else, at least you read this and can possibly have some sort of realization of what you can do to help someone you know who is struggling with a mental health diagnosis. #mentalhealthawarnessmonth #depression #anxiety #semicolon

[commandollar]

New Banned List Additions

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Saturday morning wake up! #longhairdontcare #magikarp #aladdin #magiccarpetride

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Seriously, today was absolutley amazing. I know i will be spammimg your feed a little bit but this makes me happy!!!!!! #enagaged #10-15-2016 #loveofmylife #budgetwedding #disneyphotopass #merrittthegathering (at Disneyland Theme Park the Happiest Place on Earth)

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#partofyourworld

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Thoughts of a Social Worker

Even though my job centers around trauma, often in my down time I binge watch shows like hoarders, intervention, or documentaries on addiction, ocd, eating disorders, and people with mental diagnosis. The one conclusion I always come to from my own personal experience in addition to everything else is that so many of these things are treated like a choice. They ARE NOT a choice, ever. Taking the time to be in recovery from any of these choices can be a choice but is EXTREMELY difficult especially with a lack of a solid support system. Anyone who goes through these things literally have to go one day at a time...and have to almost follow a very regimented lifestyle to be able to live a functioning life. If they become complacent in any way it can lead to relapse back to their old lifestyle. Next time instead of passing judgement or just telling someone it will be okay....try and be part of their support (this means calling get or texting to check in....being available for an email or phone call.....offering words of encouragement.....asking how you can help...being honest about how often you are able to be there or help). Although sometimes people's intentions are not malice they can be harmful to the situation and someone in recovery or who is trying to stabilize their life. People who suffer from these disorders and don't have a great support system or can't access the right resources or don't know how to get help break my heart. It's so hard to watch someone go through the process of stabilizing only to fall back into the same spot they were before. This has been a PSA presented to you by your over sharing social media friend. -N

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Yup. This is the best toy I have ever gotten. It was way broke. When I got it but now....it slightly works!!!!!!! #bestvideoof2016 #welcometothecircus #elephants #davidlovesme

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Dad.....I really hate this. I am unamused! #merrychristmas #dogsofinstagram #dogsinsweaters