» PER_SE ; OCTOBER SCHEDULES » SCHEDULE: 10/19 'EASY LOVEâ SONG REVEAL
Huidong should be... happy. He tries to tell himself that this is a good thing, as they listen through the demo of their new song with lyric sheets in hand. Itâs almost a 180-change from their previous comeback, with the lyrics taking on a much more sad and heartbroken perspective than the charming romantic beforehand. While itâs sad, it doesnât lack a strong beat and he can tell that the choreography that theyâll receive at a later date is bound to be powerful as well; thereâs rarely an easy routine to learn, from NOVA artists.
All this canât shake the sudden nervousness he feels about this song, though -- and in particular, his parts. His eyes are following along with the lyrics as the song is played to them, to give them an idea of what itâll sound like (obviously, their own vocals will be added and slight adjustments might be made to the track during production), and he can feel the blood draining from his face a little as it reaches the chorus.
Thatâs his name next to those lines. And it keeps going, the parts heâll be singing, until it covers basically half of the chorus.
He almost wants to voice confusion -- and concern -- about the line distribution. There must be some sort of mistake, heâs thinking, that so many consecutive lines and in such a focal section of the song has been allocated to him. Sure, itâs not unusual for him to be given lines to sing in a song, as one of the vocalists, but heâs not sure itâs been to this extent before... and in a title track, no less. He can already feel the pressure building, to nail the singing while not missing a beat with his dancing on stage. He has pride and confidence that heâll be fine with the choreography, but singing... still continues to take more effort for him to execute to what he deems an âacceptableâ standard, if only just.
It seems a little silly; by now, Huidong has been singing for almost several years, and has been singing publicly for almost a year. His vocals are a milestone to what they used to be but, for him, itâs still an uphill journey. He still has moments when his lisp feels like itâs getting the better of him and he wants to shrink back into the shadows, back into silence where itâs safe and comforting. He still considers it a weakness of his, a vulnerability, one that is hidden when heâs dancing instead. Itâs a reason why he continues to leave talking on variety shows and interviews to the other members at times, partially because theyâre more than willing to speak up and so he can make sure they get the spotlight, but also because speaking too much, with everyone focused only on him, can make him nervous. Of course, itâs fine when theyâre all in a group, but it also means heâs not likely to fit the usual mould of âideal variety guestâ as an individual, especially for shows that require lots of discourse.
Perhaps itâs all in his head, and heâs beating down his confidence and skills unnecessarily. Thereâs surely a reason the coaches have given him the lines they have, and it must be somewhat based on the belief that he had the skills to sing them. This is the positive he tries to tell himself in the meantime, because itâs that or--
Itâs a challenge to see if heâll fly, or crash into the ground in burning flames.
