Lee Seonghwa GRAY, 28, Off-beat rapper, song writer, composer, producer, fighter, KT trainee Rapping: 548 Dancing: 177 Singing: 166 Creativity: 151 Charisma: 328 DP: 281 Let Music Scream your Pain! This is a Rookies RP related blog!
KTs BLACK KNIGHT
Lee Seonghwa alias GRAY
Haunted Cinema
Movie: The Ring
gray wasn't necessarily the type of guy who was into scary movies, but sometimes he was in the mood for some good old scare. plus the idea of an haunted cinema made him kind of curious, which is why he decided to check this year's halloween event out. all alone, that is, but it was not like he couldn't help since most of his friends were a little busy with their own plans and schedules right now.
for the past weeks he had been in a somewhat melancholic and reminiscing mood, thinking back about older times, when things weren't as complicated and complex as they were now. he missed hanging out with the guys, fooling around, just creating the kind of content he wanted and felt to without a worry in the world. back then, he was struggling in a different way than he did now, and yet, he felt like these days had been way easier than they were now, even though he was much closer to what could be the fulfillment of a part of his dream. happiness was far away though.
and for the old times' sake, he went to the haunted cinema on friday. with a smile on his lips, he received the box of spooky popcorn with both hands, and walked over to the hall the movie he had watched at the young age of 14. he was early by ten minutes prior to the movie's start, so he looked for his assigned seat and settled down, all while mustering the creepy decorations around them in awe. the staff members had really gone all out and it made him chuckle lightly.
as soon as the movie began, he started to shove a handful of popcorn into his mouth, slowly remembering every scene that was played upon the screen. back then he had been way too young to catch every single detail, and as he recalled his reaction after the blackhaired girl appeared for the first time, she arrived at the scene and made him flinch in his seat for a moment. even after all this time, and even though he already knew what was about to happen, the movie was still exciting to watch.
looking up at the grey sky above him was somehow easing his heart. thick raindrops run down his face, cooled his skin after getting heated up from training. these days were more peaceful than before, and yet his mind felt unable to settle down.
It rained on that day too
I wished time would stop
Close your eyes
Think about that time
the chaos from before had been resolved, things had calmed down. he was moving on, feeling as free as he hadn't been feeling in a long. about two more months until his contract run out and while his heart was already on the verge to finish this chapter in his life, gray wasn't too sure if it was complete. four years of dedication had ultimately lead to where he was standing now, realizing how he wouldn't be able to feel happiness with the paths that had opened up for him after all the times of patience and hard work.
Baby u so beautiful
Can’t take my eyes off you
You’re so fine
Can’t take my eyes off you
a mixture of strange feelings was welling within him, he felt relief over the fact how he would stop being a burden to the only company that had accepted him over the years, and he felt anxious about what was waiting ahead for him. since 2016 the company had become an important part of his life, some kind of anchor in a way. being stripped of it after four years would leave an empty spot for a while, would leave him with the question if he would ever be able to get into another company ever again.
You’re so aromatic
You’re just like a rose
You always dazzle in my eyes
Like the sun
Every day and night
I think of you
You’re like sweet rain in my heart
You make my heart beat
You
Just like the rain
gray breathed out and listened to the sound drumming on the pavement, as he wandered around the night. he was calm, and yet he felt the need to talk, to get the energy out of his system. he missed her, missed her voice, her words, her embrace.
steps lead him back to his home, from which he had moved off an hour ago. it was already too late for him to give her a call or to message her. these days she seemed busier than before and gray wanted to be anything but someone who would stand in the way of her career. the strange sense of melancholy filled him once again, as he walked back in, dripping wet from the rain shower outside, warmth creeping back into his limbs. how was she doing these days, was she eating and sleeping enough? he wondered, as he stared at a photograph. 2am in the morning.
getting into the shower, washing off the cold from the outside world, slipping over comfortable clothes, before settling down on the seat in front of his studio screen.
We’re sharing earphones
Listening to the music
Getting lost in memories, locked in our thoughts
Like the falling rain, yeah yeah
Even if we dont say it
We know each other’s hearts
Hold tight to my lost hands
And hold me in your arms
a melody, rhythm like a nightly stroll in the rain, was filling his head, and wordless he began working. whatever was on his mind or his heart, a good old producing session was always taking away of the negativity he was drowning in. bit by bit, pieces fell together, a framework opened up to him and words were banned onto the yellow papers of his notepad. closing his eyes, he recalled her face, thought of her, whom he wished to see again. gray was not sure what she would think if he opened his mind to her, was not sure what she would say, if she knew what kind of chances he had letting passed by because it didn't felt right.
jiho has been exhausted. every monday was filled with non-stopped meetings. how does a man live like this? just last week he was able to filled a vacant spot in one of his home in itaewon to an international student. “another days work completed.” staring at a photo that he place hidden in the back of his real estate license jiho couldnt help but smile. why was it that he hasn’t been able to communicate with his group mate in a while. sure everyone is doing their own but its been awhile since. since they last made music.
the weather outside was nice, it was cool. for some out of his bandmate jiho was the youngest and he always wonder to himself why, and when were they ever going to meet up again. though maybe it was his fault too because he always focus on his work so much since his dad has been on ass lately. “alright lets up the old man.”
outgoing 📲 gray
⇢ why??
⇢ why, havent I heard from you in so long.
⇢ i’ve missed you T.T
⇢ hang out soon?
most people around him weren't aware how he had belong to the underground scene back then. it was not like gray was hiding that part of his past, it was more like pretty much nobody had ever asked him about it. maybe he didn't looked like an underground rapper, maybe it was his former occupation that made people think that he could impossibly be involved in that scene, but then again he didn't see a problem in actually being a part of it. gray was fond of those memories, he liked thinking back to the time where he had slowly started to develop the style that he wished to be known for some day and back to the days where he was helping others to do the same. those old times were different from now, they felt more free to him, a lot more open-minded.
actually he wasn't too sure why he had ever stopped being part of that scene. probably because gray wanted to become a part of the music industry at some point, but now that he was thought back, he guessed making music with his underground association called re:ACTIVE, his guys, dean, giriboy and zico was a whole different world to what he was doing now. he still loved writing and producing, and yet it still didn't felt the same.
with a sigh, he leaned back in his seat, when he heard the ping of an incoming message. frowning, as he saw the contact number on screen, he opened up the text and began to smile.
[/txt - Jiho]
→ hey dude. Sorry, it's been a while. Sorry I've kinda fell from the surface of the earth.. Was kept busy somehow.
→ How are things for you btw? Heard of the other boys?
→ rip I missed you and the others too.
→ sure, tell me a date and a location, and i'll come flying.
given the fact that gray seems as if he’s been through a lot the past few months, between the struggles with nsg to leaving his show behind - sia’s not really sure if it’s a wise idea to approach the older man about her concerns. if he wanted to leave all this behind, maybe it would be better if she stayed quiet? would he get annoyed if she asked? just because he turns around to face her with a smile doesn’t mean that he knows what her approach was about. the last thing tha she wantns to do is to take away gray’s smile, mostly because she feels like it’s been rare for her to see.
they’ve worked together for a year now, and sia is fairly sure she’s only ever seen his brow knitted together as he frowns.
still, she hopes his mood is enough to save this conversation. sia really doesn’t want to kill gray’s mood. her smile is hesitant and she holds onto her notebooks a little tighter, bringing them flush against her body as she tries to think about how to word her question.
“ sorry. i really hope it’s not a bother!” she stumbles, wishing that she were smaller right now. she feels so large and out of place. “ but um .. well, i was wondering if .. we could talk about the mc positions .. i would ask aron, but he’s really busy and -” it’s awkward for her to find the end of that sentence. sometimes, she’s still not sure if talking to aron should be allowed. “ i just want to make sure that i’ll be doing a good job.” and that he won’t be upset that it’s me.
judging from the way sihyeon carried herself in front of gray as she was in search for the right words to phrase her question, she seemed a little hesistant. the older man wasn't too sure why some of the younger trainees were awkward to talk to him since he didn't see himself as too intimidating, but then again he wondered if there was some strange rumor going around about kt's ahjussi. it was probably the age gap that made it harder for them to approach him about any kind of matter, but that was even more of a reason for him to show how harmless and friendly he actually was.
when she tells him how she hoped that he wouldn't be bothered by her question, the older male shakes his head lightly. he was rarely the type of guy to get upset about anything at all, as long as the counterpart was polite and respectful about it. as she asks if it was possible to talk about the s-pop mc positions, he gives her another smile. it was just as he predicted and therefore no reason for him to feel bothered at all. "ah, yeah sure. go ahead." contrary to the boys who were actually working on their debut, gray was pretty much free to do whatever he wanted, as long as he kept up with his training. "what's the matter? are you nervous about mcing instead of aron?" gray asks, while gesturing towards a nearby bench for them to sit down for the length of their conversation.
as the first generation of s-pop trainee mcs, he couldn't know how the follow-ups were feeling about that kind of matter, but he could imagine that some of them might feel burdened or frightened by the thought of doing a job as great as the person before them. "i guess it's normal to be nervous at the beginning. but i am sure, you'll do a great job. just do things like sihyeon would do. "
call it an odd form of nostalgia to be in the cafeteria whenever she didn’t need to be – the freedom that came with the idol schedule meant that even when she did come to the building to train, she didn’t have to eat lunch in the cafeteria ( versus when it was a standard back as a trainee, when it was easier to eat on campus so one could get back to training quicker afterwards ). ahyoung remembers the days of cursing the food and all who enjoyed it, especially since the food was hardly delectable despite being at the “best” entertainment company within the nation. but she’s looking for something different this time around – while the other members order delivery for the twenty-seventh time in row, her taste buds were craving something different. so here she stands during their lunch break, wondering if it was worth it to see if the food had gotten better while she was away.
ears pick up upon her name being called while she stands a distance away from the cafeteria line, the grin upon her face growing wide once she puts a face to the deep timbre; greeting him with an enthusiastic salute of two fingers, “yo, mister gray man! long time no see!” though she wants to say she’s surprised that he’s still here, that he’s still putting up with the mess as she thinks about the whispers she’s heard about the nsg project – makes her happy that she debuted whenever she did. “i don’t know, maybe? it’s been a while, thought i’d see if this shit is still … shit, for old times’ sake.” she laughs, nice and warm, though it dies out as soon as he mentions jeon, eyes lighting up as if the universe existed within, “shit, for real? i love jeon! i tried to make my ma make extra for me but she just called me a greedy ass. i’d be honored to help you, in your quest to not become a pancake yourself, since you are what you eat after all ~” ahyoung jokes, bending at the waist with a dramatic bow. “what kind is though?”
kt was known for being the best well off company in the country, though one couldn't say the same about the food which was served in the sacred halls of the cafeteria. he was quite an easy eater, so he guessed it was edible, nothing more and nothing less, but if anything he preferred to bring home made food over the dishes trainees could choose from.
a grin tugs on the corners of his lips, when he sees her saluting at him playfully. among all eclipse girls he had contact with, she was definitely one of the chillest ones. it was easy and comfortable to interact with her. chuckling, at her joke, he motions towards a table, while he goes ahead and grabs two pairs of chopsticks as well as some soysauce to dip the pancakes in. "how did you find out about my secret dream to become a pancake?" the older man says dramatically, while opening up the lunchbox. a wave of scents greets them and he feels his stomache growling and urging to taste the pancakes which were a mix of flavours and spices.
proudly, he turns towards blue sunbae and shoves the box towards her to show her the variety of jeon he had brought with him. "the lee family infamous for their jeons. therefore i present you pajeon, kimchi-jeon, buchu jeon, soegogi-jeon and gamja-jeon. is one of them your favorite? mine is kimchi-jeon. i love how it's crispy on the outside, but savory and mellow on the inside."
there are countless tiny actions that people take each day that lead to many other countless actions, going on and on and so forth that there is no way that life can be predictable. she doesn’t know the exact combination of different choices she’s made on this day that lead to this current interaction between herself and gray and his precious little niece, but she’s glad she’s ended up where she is now because it’s been a calming experience, cleansing, washing away all of her doubts and insecurities, even if only for a moment. in a way, she feels like she was meant to meet eunchae.
she narrows her eyes when gray shakes his head at her comment, frowning at him as she wags a finger. “hey, hey, none of that!” she says, forming a fist with her hand to knock it against his head gently. she realizes how hypocritical she sounds when she says this, seeing as how she, too, can get quite down on herself and her own talents, but she had told him that compliment in complete seriousness, even if she had said it in a joking tone. “don’t sell yourself short!”
he catches her off guard, though, when he mentions rapping, and she can’t help but withdraw, cringing a bit as she makes a face. rapping has never been her forte, and as much as she hates to admit she has any weaknesses, especially out loud, she would even go so far as to say she’s god awful at it. still, she can’t very well say such a thing when she’d just scolded gray about having more confidence, so she forces on a face of bravado, nodding her head with feigned confidence. “of course i will!” she says, reaching over to pat the child on the head, turning away to sneak a stuck out tongue at gray. “i’ll definitely impress you next time~”
gray was more than aware that selling himself short was one of his faults, but with all the setbacks that had occured throughout his whole life, he couldn't help but trying to stay as realistic as possible. he disliked showing off too much. the older man was simply not the type to do so. in his eyes, it was better to be modest than arrogant. he shrugs his shoulders and fixes his slightly dishevelled hair. "i am just saying that i am not a great singer."
now he knew that kt was not the company known for the strongest rappers around, but as someone whose forte laid exactly there, he felt the need to challenge joohyun the way she had done to him earlier. it was obvious that he wasn't too serious about it, as he didn't wanted to make her feel forced to go out of any comfort zones at all, but then again he believed that the two of them shared enough mutual understanding that all of this was just teasing and joking between friends and meant no harm at all.
her bold answer satiesfies him and he smiles at her, as she caresses his niece's head softly. joohyun sticks out her tongue at him and it makes him laugh out loud. "why do you want to impress uncle, unnie?" eunchae throws in and blinks and looks at both of them, waiting for an answer. the sudden question makes him laugh even more, and he leans back in his seat, before grinning at the idol. "yeah, joohyun. why would you want to impress me next time?"
[/txt - Jongdae] I just saw your teasers and wow! Great job, cool guy! Congratulations to your debut!!!
(txt: bodyguard hyung)
➤ cool guy? hahaha, but thank you hyung!
➤ ah... actually, there's something i'd like your help on, too. i'll let you know when i'm free. ^^
[/txt - Jongdae]
→ You are a cool guy, so how else should I call you? :D
→ Take care of yourself and don't overwork yourself, okay?
→ Oh, you need help? What can I do for you? I'll gladly help out, whenever you or the other boys need me :)
[/txt - Taemin] Congratulations to your hot debut, Taemin-sunbaenim!
[text to gray:] ah!! thank you gray-ssi ^^[text to gray:] it would be nice if you could’ve debuted with us [deleted!][text to gray:] i’ll try to represent kt and take care of the others well[text to gray:] i hope you’re doing well too
[/txt - Taemin]
→ I never doubted that one second, sunbaenim! I know you are doing a great job as their leader! I trust you and the others to represent kt well! :)
→ Ah, yeah! I am doing well. Please take care as well!
actually gray wasn't the type to dress up and put on a mask. he wasn't the acting type after all, as he rather preferred to simply be himself. but once a year, during halloween, he guessed it was alright. especially since that meant to be able to break out of the usual schedule and spent some time with his friends. well, this year that plan was meant to fall flat, since almost everyone from his closer circle of friends had debuted within the last weeks and months. it had been a turbulent year for them all, and looking back he felt a little melancholic. not necessarily due to his life choices, but rather for the fact that things wouldn't be the same ever again. but that was life, it was how it was supposed to be. a never ending ride of constant changes.
but even with how they went on different paths, gray still wanted to remain a part of their lifes. that's why he took on every opportunity to interact with his dear friends within kt entertainment. even if it meant to just engage in a trivial talk, instead of the preferred deeper conversations.
at the sight of johnny, he walked over and smiled at his friend. idols like him were invited to an idol exclusive halloween party, so he guessed the other had already thought about a costume. johnny was more creative, especially when it came to things like that. hopefully he wouldn't mind if gray asked him for some inspirational advice regarding a halloween costume. "hey, johnny. do you have a costume for the halloween party yet? got some ideas for your old friend as well?"
[ to: gray oppa ] pssst oppa! I got a request to cover something. can I send ya the song n' u help me turn this into a neat acoustic cover I can put on insta??
[/txt - Yuzu]
→ oh hi! a cover? sure thing! send it over and i'll take a look at it! acoustic version? noted!
→ but since you can't come over to my studio anymore, i'll send you a guide track, so you can record your version and send it back for me to put it together, alright?
[/txt - Hyunjin] KT's little dragon has grown up :'( Congratulations to your debut!!! Your teasers look awesome!
「 메시지알림 ✉ ( 황현진➛ 이Gray형 ) 」： thank you so much hyung, I appreciate it !!
「 메시지알림 ✉ ( 황현진➛ 이Gray형 ) 」： please watch our first performance, I’ll perform extra hard just for you (*´▽｀*)
「 메시지알림 ✉ ( 황현진➛ 이Gray형 ) 」： and once I make it big, I’ll treat you to a nice big meal! as a thank you for all of your support, I couldn’t have done it without you ♡
[/txt - Hyunjin]
→ You're welcome :) ofc I will! and I will re-watch it over and over again and fanboy for you all!! I am your first uncle fan :D
→ aww, that's so sweet, but really what did I do? You've done it all yourself! Every single of you deserved it so much :)
→ Hyung is very proud of you all!
[/txt - Aron] LOOK AT U GO. HANDSOME, ARONG, HANDSOME!!!!! Congratulations to your debut!!! Rip off the stage, my friend! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
[ ✉ gray ahjussi ]
✉ bruuuuuuuuuuuuh!!
✉ thanks man, getting that compliment from our handsome hyung makes it even better fufufu
✉ wished you were here with us man deleted!!
✉ i’d try my best with my weakass knees <3
✉ love ya bruh
[/txt - Aron]
→ shusshhh, it's the whole truth!!!
→ your charisma will blow everyone away! hyung is your biggest fan already 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
→ love you too 🥺 and i miss you all! but i will always be here to support you with all my might 😁
injuries of any sort just weren’t much fun to deal with, or to witness. haruto had been injured enough times in his youth to know what it was like. the times he had sprained his ankle doing his skating or broken his arm after one particular fall. not to even mention the countless bruises he was often covered in after falling over. not so much these days, however. training had just taken up too much of his time that he didn’t have the time to do his skating anymore, and haruto would be lying if he said he didn’t miss it.
he did have to frown just a little as gray explained what had happened. “you should be more careful,” he couldn’t help but scold lightly, as if he was any position to do so, “i don’t think any of the coaches are going to appreciate you in injuring yourself because you’re being careless.” it would probably pull him out of any dancing training for a couple of days and that was never going to go down well. “just,” he sighed slightly, shoving his hands in the pockets of his shorts now he had them free, “try and be careful and look after yourself more.” while sure, he could get wanting to do something different and wanting to break up the monotony of everything, it was no use if you ended up seriously hurting yourself over it.
he looked up at the younger man for a moment, as the other scolded him lightly. well, that was kind of awkward, he thought, while he rubbed his nape. gray wasn't usually the type of guy who would go overboard and start becoming careless, but strangely enough he had been feeling restless most of the time. at some point it was like he had stopped caring. "yeah, probably." he said, more to himself than to the other. haruto and he didn't had the closest relationship and yet, here he was being told by a boy years younger than him to be more careful. haruto was absolutely right, and yet it didn't sit right with him. in case of a serious injury, he didn't quite believed that the coaches would care as much as they would if the injured person was someone as young as haruto instead.
gray was realistic enough that missing out on training for several days, maybe weeks would have more consequences for him than just a simple scolding. punishments of any sorts would be surely not enough. he was costing them money after all. "hm, i guess i should." the older rapper replied shortly. "working out like this just helps me getting my mind of stuff, you know?" he didn't expected haruto to relate to it, since all he seemed to see right now was an old trainee who didn't know where his boundaries were. with a sigh, he put the bottle aside and carefully pushed himself up, before pressing his hand against the knee. seemed like the pain had subsided for now.
"anyways. thank you for your help. and sorry for keeping you from whatever you were about to do. hope i didn't mess up your training schedule?"
even when it should be much easier to meet another trainee or an idol from the same company, the reality was different most of the time. since everyone had different schedules in regards of training and practice, it was pretty hard to catch his friends. and even if he finally caught one of them, it was never guaranteed that they would be able to stop and take a moment to talk to him. which again made kt feel a little lonely sometimes, but that didn’t stopped him from trying to interact with his dear friends and colleagues, whenever there was a chance to.
and one of these chances had appeared, when he luckily caught sight of blue, who he jokingly called the first member of kt’s colour unit, during lunch time. with a big smile on his lips, he approached her. it’s been a good while, since they got to speak, but she seemed to be doing well. “hello, blue sunbae! nice to see you here. are you having lunch at the cafeteria?” the older man asked, before lifting up his lunchbag. “my mother made too much jeon for chuseok, so i am on a pancake diet right now. want to join me?”
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