Pairing: Park Gyeong Seok / Cho Hyun Ju
Synopsis: Hyun-ju tries to return to her life outside the game as she mourns Gyeong-seok's death and tries to keep her promise, but nothing goes as she expected and things take an unexpected turn when familiar faces come back into her life and fill her mind with doubts.
Tags/Possible Warnings: Canon Divergence / Related, Post-Episode: s02e07, Drama & Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Trans Character, Misgendering, BAMF Cho Hyun Ju, Light Violence, Angst and Feels, More Tags Soon.
Chapter 1: When two hearts are torn away
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"Players, it's time for bed. Return immed-"
The voice is muted as Hyun-ju fires at the speaker, but the sound of bullets echoes behind her back as she makes her way into the dorm.
“Dae-ho!” she calls through the speaker of her radio, getting nothing but silence from player 388. “Where are you! We need the ammo!” she exclaims, looking left and right for any soldiers that might attack, but all she can see is blood and bodies scattered in the hallways.
The radio remains silent and impotence fills her; she doesn't understand what's taking Dae-ho so long. She checks the clip of her gun and curses her luck and the ex-marine when she finds she only has a couple of bullets. She thinks about smacking him with all her might if they make it out of that place, but in a moment of clarity she scolds herself for not even thinking about the fact that Dae-ho might have been attacked by one of the soldiers or even one of the other players.
“Fuck…” she mutters with a lump in her throat, thinking about what will greet her when she gets to the dormitory. If the other players have teamed up against them, then everything is lost.
“Dae-ho!” She calls the player again, feeling a relief settling in her body as she walks into the large room and finds that both groups are still separated in their respective spots. “Dae-ho!” she shouts, searching for the ex-marine, but the only ones receiving her are Geum-ja and Yong-sik.
“Hyun-ju... Where are the others?” the woman mutters with a voice full of fear, yet Hyun-ju doesn't have time to calm her down.
“Where's Dae-ho?!” she inquires. Mother and son reply by staring at the bunks at the back of the room. Hyun-ju runs to him, stopping when she sees the man suffering in what she immediately recognizes as a panic attack induced by a notorious post-traumatic stress.
Hyun-ju sees the ammo wrapped in the sweatshirt on the bed, but she can't go back alone.
“Dae-ho…” She calls him in a low voice, leaning closer to touch his shoulder, but the ex-marine shrinks into himself and starts sobbing.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” Dae-ho cries without daring to look at Hyun-ju. “Dad, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please, don't hurt me!” he pleads, moving away from her and covering himself with his hands.
Hyun-ju feels a knot in her stomach, but she doesn't allow herself to spiral at a moment like that. She rushes to grab the ammo and stands up, ready to return along with the others. Yet it's all in vain when the metallic doors at the entrance swing open and the sound of two shots echoes through the room.
“Everyone on the floor!” the pink soldier shouts. Hyun-ju hides between the bunks and stares at the soldiers scattering, counting as many as she can. She changes the clip on her gun and makes a move to get closer to a spot with a clearer view, but the grip on her arm stops her.
“Hyun-ju, no…” Geum-ja whispers, pleading with her eyes for her to stop. Hyun-ju glances at her, then back at the soldiers. She can't kill them all, but she can kill enough of them to clear the area again and get back with the others. “Don't sacrifice yourself in vain,” the woman persists.
"The following players have been eliminated:
Player 072 - 015 - 047 - 001 - 390 - 246..."
Hyun-ju is shocked as she hears the voice saying his number. It can’t be possible, not him. Her hands tremble and the pain and impotence blinds her. She pulls away from Geum-ja's grip and aims her gun at the group of soldiers.
“Hyun-ju, please... Stop. Stop. No more, please...” Geum-ja begs between tears, stopping her again.
She wants to pull the trigger and kill them all, but even someone with a good aim like hers is at risk of missing and condemning the others to a certain death. She thinks of Gyeong-seok, her daughter and her promise. She shuts her eyes and tears slide down her cheeks. All of them died in vain. He died in vain...
The soldiers get to them and aim their guns at Hyun-ju and Dae-ho, but Geum-ja stands between them.
“Don't shoot, please, just take the guns and take them away!” she cries as her son tries to pull her away. After a moment that feels like an eternity, the soldiers step back and take the guns.
Hyun-ju breaks into tears and Geum-ja holds her to her chest, whispering words hushed by her sobs. She stares at Dae-ho over the woman's shoulder and she hates him with all her heart. If he had returned they wouldn't be dead. Gyeong-seok wouldn't be dead. Jung-bae wouldn't be dead. She tightens her hold on Geum-ja and shuts her eyes, shuddering through sobs and forcing herself to forget her anger because even if the truth hurts, he's not to blame.
A new group of soldiers walks into the room with the unmistakable black coffins. The leader of the soldiers clears his throat to get everyone's attention.
“We apologize for the inconvenience” the soldier speaks as the players mumble to each other from the bunks. Even some of those who were interested in playing the game are terrified. “Those who wish to end the game will have to follow the rules and wait for tomorrow's vote. Any act of rebellion against the established rules will be punished by elimination” he warns.
The players on both sections are silent. Do they finally understand that the only way to get out of that place alive is to divide the accumulated money and vote for their release? Even when pain, anger and sadness are still gnawing inside her, Hyun-ju still has the hope to believe in that possibility. However, as if fate were a cruel prankster, everyone's attention is pulled back to the piggy bank descending upon them.
“Before the end of the day, let me inform you about the amount accumulated so far” the soldier announces, starting the descent of the bundles of bills piling up in the piggy bank with his words.
Hyun-ju feels sick to her stomach. While everyone is watching the money, she sees the soldiers putting the bodies of the murdered players into the coffins. Is that what they have been reduced to? To ignore a massacre to be rewarded? In that instant she finally understands Gi-hun's words by refusing to enjoy the prize.
After the announcement of the amount accumulated, the soldiers leave the room and the silence returns, starting the countdown on the clock in the room. Tension settles in the air as everyone fears if another attack among them will take place when the lights go out.
“We still have a chance, isn't it?” Geum-ja asks, with Hyun-ju laying on her lap with a blank stare as the old lady strokes her hair in some sort of consolation.
The small group gathered in the bunks is silent. Now that Gi-hun is gone, everyone feels like a flock of missing sheep.
“You really think so?” Yong-sik asks in disbelief, earning a disapproving glare from his mother. “I-I mean... We have lost so many of us. We're at a big disadvantage…”
Hyun-ju stays silent. A single thought floods her mind: if they are attacked again, dying that night or in the next game will be like an act of mercy for her. Any desire to survive has faded away again. She looks at Dae-ho away from the group, still cowering in himself, and she wonders if he’s thinking the same. Being blinded by her anger kept her from thinking about it before, but now, when the only feeling still beating in her is sadness, she thinks of the own hell Dae-ho has been through before coming to that place and that moment. She has lost Gyeong-seok and Young-mi, but now he carries the blame for Jung-bae's death even if it's not his fault.
A sudden bustle on the other side of the room draws Hyun-ju out of her thoughts and catches everyone's attention.
“Then go away with them, you cowards!” the 100th player shouts.
The small group of five players approaching them looks at them with shame, hoping to be welcomed after being part of the ones who stopped them from leaving that place. No one says a word or shows any rejection, at least until the 100th player's voice is heard again.
“I'll make sure to spend all the money we get for your deaths in booze and whores! That's what brave men like us deserve!” he boasts, encouraging his group to cheer his words.
The others just ignore him, but Hyun-ju can't. Not when she remembers Gyeong-seok asking her to visit his daughter at the hospital since he knew he wouldn't survive. A knot tightens her stomach, filled with impotence at the idea of how unfair it feels that Gyeong-seok is dead but that man has a chance to live and waste money as the selfish pig he is. How will she be able to live with the knowledge that somebody like him might live while Gyeong-seok's daughter dies asking where her father is?
“Hyun-ju?” Geum-ja calls her, puzzled when she gets up from her lap and makes her way between the bunks; her eyes fixed on the other group. “Hyun-ju, where are you going?!” she asks, trying to stop her, but Yong-sik stops her this time, forcing her to watch as Hyun-ju walks away across the room, unable to do anything.
“Oh, look who's coming...” the 100th player says with a smirk full of arrogance at the sight of her. “What's the matter, doll? Are you joining us? Another man in our team will do,” he sneers, not even bothering to disguise his disgust in every word.
Hyun-ju stops before him with no response and one firm punch to the man's face is enough to knock him to the ground. Hyun-ju lunges at him and punches him again; this time across the nose. Blood stains her knuckles and the man coughs out a cry of pain.
“What the hell are you doing, you bastards! Get him off of me!” the man demands with a snarl, waving his hands as he tries to defend himself. Hyun-ju waits for the others to attack her. She even feels the menace of someone coming at her, but all it comes in response is Nam-gyu's body collapsing limp at her side.
The others step back in shock and a quick glance behind her reveals the identity of the perpetrator. Standing there, with hands clenched in tense fists trembling in restrained fear, Hyun-ju looks at Dae-ho. The ex-marine is tense from head to toe; his chest heaving in and out in ragged breaths. He glances down at Hyun-ju and bows his head in a nod she takes as an apology about what happened during the riot.
“You bastards, we're more than them! Help me!” the man shrieks beneath her, drawing back her attention. A smirk curves Hyun-ju's lips and she grabs him by the shirt, leaning over him.
“You really think they give a shit about helping a pig like you?” she whispers, looking him straight in the eye. “Why would they step in if killing you is going to fill their pockets even more?”
Hyun-ju doesn't have to look at the others to know they're staring at each other, considering her words. The silence from everyone around confirms them she is right.
“There's a little girl out there that lost her father in this fucked up thing for some money he'll never get!” she yells; her voice trembling trying to hold back her tears. “And I'd rather die for killing you than allow a bastard like you to get a single cent!” she shouts, landing another punch to the man's face, followed by another and a third one that makes his head hit the ground with a thud.
"Players, return to your beds to finish the day. Lights will go out in one minute. Repeat: Lights will go out in one minute. Follow the instructions and return to your beds."
Despite the speaker's indication, Hyun-ju doesn't back away and hits the man again, who's mouth lets out a whimper as he tries to avoid drowning in his own blood. Cutting off her anger, Hyun-ju feels two arms wrap around her and yank her away from the player.
“Hyun-ju, stop! Stop it now!” Yong-sik says, trying hard to drag her away from the others. No intention of attacking them is evident, but they can't take the risk of being helpless when the lights are about to go out.
“Let me go, I'm going to kill him!” she shouts, struggling to get free, but tiredness taking its toll on her and Dae-ho joining Yong-sik in dragging her away becomes too much to bear. “Watch your fucking back 'cause I'll be after you if you're not dead, you son of a bitch!” she threatens, but there's no answer from player number 100.
The surrounding players look at the man with disdain and walk away in silence, leaving Nam-gyu lying on the ground next to him. Hyun-ju gives in and lets herself be taken to the bunks, with Geum-ja rushing to check her hand to try to cure it.
“It's not mine…” Hyun-ju mumbles in a muffled voice, referring to the blood on her knuckles when she notices concern in the old lady's face. “I'm fine…”
“The lights will go out in: Ten, nine, eight-”
The woman nods in silence as she takes her place in the bunk on her side. Hyun-ju sits on her bed, moving backwards till she gets to the wall. It doesn't matter how many times she's beaten the man or if she's succeeded in killing him; nothing will make Gyeong-seok come back.
The clock reaches zero as she shrinks into herself, hugging her legs to her chest and letting herself be engulfed by the dark.
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English is not my native language, so please excuse any mistakes.
Please consider leaving a comment here or on the original fanfic posted on AO3: Do you love me now?
park "i'm not gonna do any real flirting, just gonna stare at the woman of my dreams until she noticed my pathetic level of yearning radiating off of my aura and big brown eyes" gyeong sok
I like to think that Doctor Who from the Master's perspective could be called 'One Man's Quest To Get His Spouse To Come Back Home And Abandon His Massive Ant Colony'. Everything is so much funnier if you picture the Master being absolutely baffled at the Doctor defending Earth, because he's borderline immortal whilst humans die so quickly - killing a human is like stepping on a spider, and the Doctor is the guy who swoops in with a cup and paper to move the spider outside even if the decision seems nonsensical. I like to reframe the Master's attempts to take over the universe as him desperately asking the Doctor "we could get a dog? Or a cat? Or adopt? Are the ants really worth it, you have no other hobbies".
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