robinlouise is one word

[robinlouise]

This is what we do

We as mothers, we

Put up a warm bowl of food, ready to reheat

Wait up for you

Worry - always - about your contentment and happiness

Raising and holding the mantle and the sky

Anticipate needs, and mitigate circumstance

Perhaps this is the failure- all the anticipating

And holding-up

You do not know how to let go, to fall, to land

And then get up

How were we to know we were so wrong.

[robinlouise]

another poetic for today

Sky Diving, by Ishmael Reed

You can’t always count

On things opening up for you.

Know when to let go

Learn how to fall

[robinlouise]

poetic thought for the day

Good Bones, by Maggie Smith

 Life is short, though I keep this from my children.

Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine

in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,

a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways

I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least

fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative

estimate, though I keep this from my children.

For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.

For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,

sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world

is at least half terrible, and for every kind

stranger, there is one who would break you,

though I keep this from my children. I am trying

to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,

walking you through a real shithole, chirps on

about good bones: This place could be beautiful,

right? You could make this place beautiful.

[robinlouise]

i miss being a book editor

[robinlouise]

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.

best thing i’ve read today

[robinlouise]

“telling the truth in a resolutely truthless time” - R. Eric Roberts, on Maxine Waters

[robinlouise]

feeling like i’m standing still while my house burns down

[robinlouise]

realizing on the eve of 50, everytning AND nothing is as i thought it would be

[robinlouise]

Am I unreasonable?

Omg am I unreasonable to be pissy that my mil always makes everything about her? Or that I agree and concede? When does good breeding stop? Like, 3 adults say I don't want to go here and yet, here we are!

[robinlouise]

Twitter - terrible people, yelling at other people - some of whom are also terrible, absent of facts or context.

[robinlouise]

notes from the resistance

so, i’m feeling like i need to jot down stuff now that half of us have become instantly radicalized as of november 9, 2016 - or, the first day of the resistance after the election. now that i have stopped crying (well, mostly stopped), i find that it is helpful to do something each day that is concrete, even if it is reading and posting something that is particularly moving or funny or whatever. today, i became a regular (eg, monthly) supporter of the ACLU. i pulled the addresses of my representatives in the senate and the house, to write and remind them that the goal is 1, take the house in the mid-term elections; and take back the white house in 2020, and to keep that mofo in check/blocked at every turn. 

[robinlouise]

i think, as i’ve gotten older, i’ve become more of a prude. or is that the word? not in terms of what others do, or say - do, you! always! but, i’m just not that interested. i mean, i don’t know that i’m ready to ride-or-die to free the nipple, of for power to the pussy. 

[roxanegay]

The Burden of Black Art

A great deal of responsibility is laid at the feet of black people when it comes to the box office success or failure of black movies. A great deal of responsibility is laid on the shoulders of black art or art about black lives.

I remember when Red Tails came out, and many people blamed black movie goers for its failure as if we alone had the financial power to make the movie rise. In many interviews, Stephen Spielberg, who directed Red Tails, framed going to see the movie as a moral obligation, as if through moviegoing, we might find racial uplift. Red Tails failed because it is a bad movie. A movie is not inherently good simply because it tells a story about black lives.

There is also this troubling idea that everything we need to learn about history, black or otherwise, can only be learned through movies. There are books and plays and music and visual art that also do the work of teaching us about our past. 

Nate Parker’s Birth of a Nation was released last Friday and so far the movie has done just fine, particularly for a movie of its ilk. But because the movie didn’t have, like, a $25 million, splashy opening, there are certain people who are crying conspiracy.

Now, I wrote an essay for the NY Times about how I struggled to have any empathy for Nate Parker, who as we now know, was accused of gang rape when he was 19. I clearly articulated why I was struggling and I was speaking only for myself. Certain people think this essay means that I am not down for black men or that I am part of a grand conspiracy theory to take down the movie, and in turn, career of a man I do not know. This is nonsense.

Certain people have said black women and more specifically black Feminists are responsible for the movie’s supposed failure because black women are an easy scapegoat. We are, I guess, part of this grand conspiracy. Some of us, these certain people say, are just mad that Nate Parker has a white wife which is so absurd and facile it would be laughable if it wasn’t so fucking pathetic. Who even knew about Nate Parker’s wife? Who the hell cares? No one with any goddamned sense.

We are being asked, it seems, to ignore our womanhood and free will in favor of our blackness and blind submission to some greater good that isn’t necessarily in our best interests.  

I was never going to see Birth of a Nation, because I do not want to see any more movies about slavery. I have written about this a few times. I understand how horrible slavery was. I understand what it did to the black body, mind and spirit. I understand how the effects of slavery can still be seen in contemporary America. I do not need to see another black woman violated or degraded. I do not need to see another black man’s back torn open by a white man’s whip. I am fucking done with slavery movies while ALSO understanding that it is important to continue to tell stories and make movies about slavery. 

Because of my personal history and Nate Parker’s troubling history, I had two reasons to not see Birth of a Nation. I also read the reviews which were mixed but generally seemed to say that the movie itself is flawed, perhaps mediocre, historically inaccurate, with one-dimensional women characters whose sexual violation is used as the catalyst for Nat Turner’s rebellion. Most of those reviews also said Parker has a lot of talent and potential and that the movie is worth seeing. These are reviews that seem on par for a debut film and they are reviews that, from the ones I read (NY Times, etc), considered the movie on its own merits and not the director’s past. 

I have no doubt that Nate Parker’s past has affected Birth of a Nation but even more damaging has been his willfully dismissive attitude in the aftermath. He doesn’t seem to understand why so many people are troubled by his past, his indifference to the victim and his certitude that he did nothing wrong 19 years ago. He turned down an offer for help from Oprah, which is like spitting in God’s face. That’s his right. He is a grown ass man. As a grown ass woman, I am allowed to have opinions on his behavior 19 years ago and now. And it’s just that–opinions. I am one person and yes, I have influence but I have repeatedly said that I don’t support or suggest a boycott of Birth of a Nation. Think for yourself. Do what you want.

I also have no doubt that Fox Searchlight absolutely will make their money back and then some. Some people will learn about Nat Turner from this movie. Some will learn about Nat Turner from the hundreds, if not thousands of BOOKS that have been written about him. There will be other Nat Turner movies. Nate Parker will make another movie. Life will go on. Other movies about black lives, past and present, WILL be made. And this brings us to the burden of black art, which is expected to be consumed mindlessly and uncritically so that it might succeed so that more black art can be made. This isn’t how the creation of black art should work. This is why we need to have better conversations about diversity. We need more than representation. We need the chance to be flawed and to create flawed black art without the fate of all black art and black artists hanging in the balance. 

[robinlouise]

excellent, thoughtful, insightful and funny 

[robinlouise]

...for the first time, the first, I laid my heart open to the benign indifference of the universe.

Albert Camus, The Stranger

[robinlouise]

we are each other's business; we are each other's harvest; we are each other's magnitude and bond

Gwendolyn Brooks

[robinlouise]

mundane

regret is so mundane - realizing that it is too late to undo, too late to go back and change it, too late. please, lord, grant me grace and mercy in the coming days - yet another mundane prayer.

[robinlouise]

Good morning from the pink line!