I'm lost but I don't know if I want to be found

Aroace nonbinary weirdo. Who may or may not be full of shit. Possibly.

[revengecatra]

“Are u a boy or a girl” “No” “What are u then” “Mostly void, partially stars”

[altonzm-deactivated20170213]

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

[thirdtimecharmed]

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

[svynakee]

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

[orriculum]

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

[digitalfare]

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

[jamesandlilys]

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

[monsterhighalumni]

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

[wereyoulookingforsomething-deac]

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

[moldychesee]

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

[rhionhutter]

Filipino recipes: SOY SAUCE AND VINEGAR EVERYWHERE

[coto524]

Welsh recipes: you ought to make it with this obscure type of cheese which doesn’t exist any more but you can replace it with this other obscure type of cheese from the other side of the country

[makeshift-style]

Irish recipes: just dump a bunch of potatoes and meat in it, then cook at 350° for 20 minutes

[obviously11]

Slovenian recipes: go to the garden, get some weeds, then make a soup out of it.

[prokopetz]

Ukrainian recipes: It needs more garlic. No, more than that. More. More.

[chrispineofficial]

jewish recipes: everything you make will always taste like there’s something missing. that is because there is something missing. the matriarch who has possession of the recipe will unfailingly leave out one ingredient when sharing the recipe with anyone else. this ingredient is only revealed to the next in line to own said recipe, conferred to them upon the death of the matriarch

[no-depression-for-vampires]

Indian recipe - minimum amount of green chillies or you have brought dishonour on your family.

[pikachuslut]

Spanish recipient: add more olive oil, there’s never enough. Drink the olive oil, delicious Spanish produced olive oil. Olive oil. Delicious. From…. Spain……

[phantomdoodler]

[doujinshi]

me and the girlfriend i dont have

[mujeringrata]

@muyfuego

[parakeet]

{This LGBT user culturally appropriated the rainbow from God}

[jeffreymarsh]

Lady Gaga + autoharp = Love💛💛💛💛😇 full vid facebook.com/jeffreymarshofficial

[robinthegeek]

OH  MY FREAKING GOSH JEFFREY MARSH PLAYS AN AUTOHARP THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MINE WHAT IS LIFE?!?!?!?!?

[whisperstims]

[hurrdurrimahooman-deactivated20]

@letters-to-lgbt-kids

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

Thankyou for tagging me! What a beautiful, lovely edit! <3 

[bijoux-et-mineraux]

Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo

[xekstrin]

*looks around*

Is

Is anyone gonna say it

[brambledboneyards]

malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite

[zdravomilla-deactivated20220114]

@lizaleigh do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don’t feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo.

[lizaleigh]

…sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: “EXPLAIN.” Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts?

[mollisaurus]

oh geeze, i’m kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want?

[vulcanology-geology]

It’s really only a problem if you’re polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It’s rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway… Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._.

[thepioden]

I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out.

So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here.

[rosenagldky-deactivated20201223]

Oh my god guys it’s poisonous

It is super poisonous

There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more

Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock

[nassadii]

Try this one instead. 

[naughtylittledragon]

malachite literally explodes in water does it not?

[rosenagldky-deactivated20201223]

I… no… I think you’re thinking of pure sodium?

Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker

[reclusiveandelusive]

This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you’re getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You’re also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock

[bijoux-et-mineraux]

I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on  being you.

[aimee-b-loved]

I’m still not sure if I can fuck this rock.

[adulthoodisokay]

I’m looking into it.

[adulthoodisokay]

UPDATE:

[buzzfeed]

Today in “I’m so sorry, coworkers, it’s for Tumblr,” I brought this post to the attention the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did a some research and weighed in on the question “Can you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?”

The answer is “It’s probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.”

[sprigglebearstudios]

Oh man this got so much better than the last time I saw this post

[0hcicero]

This is my favourite. Science side of tumblr: asking the REAL questions

[badscienceshenanigans-deactivat]

*biologist crashes through the underbrush* Ok so here’s the thing though Malachite is not poisonous to YOU. BUT fucking this stalactite will probably wreck your vaginal flora and leave you with a gruesome infection within a couple days. Want details? SO GLAD YOU ASKED, ‘CAUSE HERE THEY ARE. • Malachite is not copper oxide. It’s Cu2CO3(OH)2. Like most carbonates it’s water soluble– that’s how it became a stalactite in the first place! And technically any given chunk of “malachite” isn’t just malachite– it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. This will become important later.  • When malachite dissolves it makes a bunch of copper (Cu++) ions. Cu++ is GREAT at killing bacteria and fungi– so good at it that sprays with Cu++ get used a lot as a spray in agriculture to stop plant disease. It takes such a large dose to harm larger organisms that copper sprays are used a lot in organic agriculture (like Bordeaux mixture).  So bottom line, yes malachite is technically nontoxic to humans. But it kills bacteria when it dissolves and releases Cu++. • Malachite dissolves somewhat slowly in water– but vaginal secretions aren’t just any water. A healthy human vagina has a pH of 3.8-4.5 and a salinity of about 0.9%. It’s also warmer than your average underground cave at 37°C (or 98.5°F in American meat units). As luck would have it, acidity, salinity, and warmth all make malachite dissolve faster.  • In other words, the human vagina dissolves malachite.  • I have no deeper explanation for why human females can dissolve rocks with our genitals. It simply is.  • Gonna to take a quick moment to point out that sex toys that dissolve when you use them are maybe not the best investment.  • Anyway the key question now is “how fast does the human vagina dissolve malachite?” Are we talking geological timescale, a Nazis-in-Indiana-Jones situation, or something in between? If the reaction kinetics of dissolution are very slow, then there’s nothing to worry about. An encounter with a stalactite would have to last years for enough Cu++ to leach out to cause problems. If it’s quick then we’re in trouble.  • Unfortunately it looks like nobody really knows. One of the best sources on how malachite dissolves & precipitates in water– an EPA document on how to avoid too much Cu++ in municipal drinking water systems– helpfully says “The kinetic constraints on the formation of these solids in water systems are largely unexplored” (p. 42) because end equilibrium points is all you need to run a city water system safely. In other words, the experiments that would tell us how fast malachite dissolves in various types of water just don’t exist because nobody’s ever needed to know before. So we’d better assume it’s going to happen reasonably quickly, #for safety. • So in best scientific fashion, we’re just going to bullshit our way ahead using what facts we DO have on hand: endpoint equlibria.  • Is there any info out there telling us what equilibrium concentration of Cu++ we get in salty acidic water at body temperature? Almost! One J.F. Scaife published some great data on this back in 1957. TAKE IT AWAY, SCAIFE. 

That orange box is how many moles of dissolved Cu++ Scaife got from sticking malachite in some water that had 0.171 moles NaCl/L (body salinity is about 0.154 moles NaCl/L so this is slightly less salty than people) at 30°C. He’s got no acidity in there, and again the salinity and temperature are slightly lower than people. But this is probably the closest we’re going to get to data on how malachite behaves in vaginas anytime soon, folks. From this we can take away that if you leave malachite alone in a vagina you’ll get AT LEAST 9.12 x 10^-4 moles/L, or 5.8 ppm, of Cu++ at equilibrium.  • Recall from above that most “malachite” isn’t actually pure malachite, it’s a mix of various copper carbonates & oxides. The EPA document elaborates: “[T]raditional ‘eyeball’ identification of malachite by its blue-green color is extremely unreliable, because almost all cupric hydroxysulfates, hydroxycarbonates, hydroxychlorides, and even fresh cupric hydroxide can be some shade of blue-green. … Thus, the uncertainty in the computed copper concentration in equilibrium with malachite is at least about a factor of 2 … until further experimental data focusing on this problem is generated.” In other words, “do your math and then double how much Cu++ you think is going to be in the water, just in case.” So that gives us 11.6ppm Cu++, at equilibrium, with malachite in a (til now!) healthy vagina.  • Next step: do we have any idea what happens to bacteria in acid conditions with copper? OH MY GOD WE TOTALLY DO. Gyawali et al 2011 checked this out in the context of “so what if we rinsed tomatoes with a solution of lactic acid and copper, because that would be a safe & organic way to get rid of E. coli?” So now this post has officially ruined stalactites, vaginas, and tomatoes.

^This would happen. These are the counts of 4 E. coli strains exposed to various levels of lactic acid & Cu++ for 8 hours. This table only shows the end counts but it represents the death of 99.7% of bacteria*. • Losing 99.7% of your vaginal flora is seriously bad news. You’re looking at really good odds of a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and/or other infection issues. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to not be in the 4% of the population or so that’s sensitive to skin contact with copper.  • The good news? Biochemically speaking, you’re probably ok to put it in your butt. It’s not as acidic or salty in there, plus there’s a huuuuuge stockpile of gut microbes right upstream that can quickly repopulate the colon after spelunking is complete. However this stalactite is not flared at the base so it is the wrong shape for putting in your butt. Do not put this stalactite in your butt.  • This all looks like fun and games, but I think it’s really interesting that the internet’s mistake in concluding that this stalactite is fuckable is very similar to the mistake made by the Flint water management system. Hear me out.  • Central to the Flint lead poisoning crisis is that authorities only looked at & tested Flint’s water in its central treatment plant before it went out through the pipes. Not after it went through the pipes. They did not consider what would happen biochemically as it went through the pipes and metals started dissolving.  • Similarly, in concluding that the stalactite is fuckable, the internet only considered the stalactite itself. Not the biochemical processes that would happen to it as it, welp, went through the pipes.  • Media frequently reports that the Flint River’s water is “corrosive,” leading many to believe the river is full of industrial waste. This ain’t the case. You’d need industry to fill a river with industrial waste, and industry left decades ago. That’s why Flint’s so poor. So what IS in the water? Road salt. Plain old stupid road salt. The old Detroit-based source didn’t have salt because it came from Lake Huron which has a large, mostly rural watershed. Meanwhile the Flint River runs through a lot of towns, making it slightly salty as everything melts down in spring. And as we recall from the stalactite experience, a little salt is all it takes to get metals to dissolve.  • Information on this engineering problem was not coming through clearly from the engineering or chemistry sides. It took a biologist, pediatrician Mona Hanna-Attisha, to document the real-time results and provide the data to kick-start a high-level investigation.  • Morals of the story: when dealing with a biological system pls consider asking a biologist, your vagina and/or city could depend on this • Pls use a condom when fucking any water-soluble material • Still don’t put the stalactite in your butt -3/10 do not recommend

[astolat]

OK, I haven’t reblogged this before now but the final post takes it to a whole new level and I can no longer resist. 

[the-emef]

fuck I love the internet

[pikestaff-deactivated20200113]

@drawsshits @therealmnemo

[valjar]

Science tumblr strikes again!

[sandandglass]

BoJack Horseman s03e05

[morefunthanb4]

[lauralot89]

My mom said that today in church her pastor said in the sermon that Jesus told us to help the poor, and taking money away from public schools to give to charter schools only widens the gap between the rich and the poor.  She then added that Jesus spoke against adultery and lust and would not have approved of bragging about sexually assaulting women.  According to my mom, people got up and walked out.

The pastor also started the sermon by noting that she’d heard of another minister who read the entirety of the Sermon on the Mount at the pulpit, to be told by the so-called Christian parishioners after the service that it was offensive and they didn’t agree.

The Sermon on the Mount is straight up the words of Jesus.

[squirrelshideout]

I recently read an article that said, hypocritical Christians in America don’t actually worship Jesus. They worship America, and even then, it’s a very specific, self-centered idea of America.

[lauralot89]

Do you still have a link to the article?  I’d love to see it.

[jumpingjacktrash]

it’s true though, the fastest way to piss off a conservative ‘christian’ is to quote the actual words of christ

biblical literalists have like 99% not read the bible

it’s extremely strange

[abundantfrog]

that’s called civil religion folks. it’s like the root of nationalism. It’s actually really interesting to look at how America has been believed to be holy even though it’s like. Not. Like “God bless America” and stuff isn’t likely to be accurately talking about the abrahamic god because it’s kind of ridiculous to Say that that god has chosen anywhere other than Jerusalem.  So like. That’s not a specific captil letter G god, it’s just the idea of god and good graces. It has specific rituals (such as the pledge of allegiance, swearing in of new presidents, singing the national anthem, etc.) and it has specific creed (the constitution).  Holidays like 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and Black Friday. A set of guidelines for the group to follow (laws/constitution).  America as a whole and mostly unknowingly practices civil religion.  This isn’t mutually exclusive of someone practicing another religion. But it is a very real and discussed thing in the field of Modern religious studies

[eclipseyeger]

@robinthegeek I know lots of really positive Christians and lots of really contradictory ones, but obviously am not myself one, but this makes me uber curious. May I ask your thoughts?

[robinthegeek]

I can definitely believe OP, and the commentary is good. Even though my church isn’t super nationalist, we still make a big deal out of the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, and Veterans’ Day. This is also coming from attending a rural West Virginian church.

I mean, after 45 was elected, a woman did a children’s sermon, during worship, about how a real Christian was in the White House. Ew.

The difficulty is that many Christians are older, some were alive a time when religion and nationality were especially conflated because of the fear of communism, and even before that Christians have been the dominant religious group in America after immigrating from elsewhere. I don’t think many people, especially some Christians, would understand the above paragraph about civil religion and how it relates to their own spirituality. 

Any specific thoughts you’re curious about?

[whatahyuck]

a little note for everyone:

you are allowed to be LGBTQA+ and religious 

it is ok to be both

they are not mutually exclusive 

and when people jokingly refer to being gay as sinning,

don’t pay attention to them

because they don’t have religion in their lives the way we do

you are also allowed to be questioning, 

“"How can I serve and love God the way I want to while also being my true self?”

because guess what?

not every LGBTQA+ person is an atheist or a non-believer

so here’s a shoutout to the Christian LGBTQA+

and the Muslim LGBTQA+ 

and the Jewish LGBTQA+ 

and the Buddhist LGBTQA+

and every other religion that you may believe in

religion can coexist with your sexual identity and your gender identity

you are loved by God and by me 

[enbian]

You are good and worthy and deserving of kindness. Your gender doesn’t change that.

[kmtarchive-deactivated20201028]

me: [wakes up] me: brooklyn nine-nine is a show that airs on fox and stars two black men in leading positions, one of whom is the captain of the precinct and is gay but is never made fun of for this by the characters or by the show. the other is physically intimidating but is a loving father and the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet. there are also two latina women as police detectives who are nuanced and fleshed out and never conform to stereotypes. all three starring women have totally different personalities but support each other through everything. the show repeatedly calls out racism, homophobia, sexism, and (on one occasion) transphobia. the ‘nice guys finish last’ trope was smashed to pieces in the first season with said ‘nice guy’ owning up to and apologizing for his behavior. jake peralta (who should be your typical White Dude Lead) is explicitly a feminist and once punched a homophobe in the face. what a miracle. i will never forget this gift thank you mike and dan

[captainlordauditor]

also jake peralta has referred to himself multiple times as jewish

“are you jakey lady-hands or jakey the jew?”

“for once in my life, i am happy to say jakey the jew” (second season premier)

he mentions his bar mitzvah several times and there’s even a plot (in “boyle-linetti wedding”) about him reconnecting with a girl he knew in hebrew school

he also doesn’t fall into any stereotypes - he’s not a wimpy nerd, extremely religious, or greedy 

i’ve seen a dozen different posts that mention reasons you should watch brooklyn nine nine and for some reason peralta’s judaism is never on them and we need to start adding it

[holycaribou]

and one other thing i love is when white characters get too overexcited and say stuff that’s not okay and immediately realize and backtrack their words. this is so much better than other shows where white characters are just oblivious or just don’t care when they say something wrong. 

ex:

“THIS IS WORSE THAN SEGREGATION! too far? too far.” 

“Separate, but equal parties. Forget I said that phrase!” 

like, b99 acknowledges that these aren’t okay to say, even in casual settings, when other sitcoms like modern family continue churning out lines about how all colombians are drug trafficking, no good workers who used to live in dilapidated villages :’))) 

[mbti-stereotypes]

tl;dr short typing guide!

[actualmichelle]

moody superficial cold hippie….surprisingly accurate tbh

[robinthegeek]

@eclipseyeger accurate?

[eclipseyeger]

Hmm….for me ya XP you’re intj right?

[robinthegeek]

Yeah... most definitely...

[mbti-stereotypes]

tl;dr short typing guide!

[actualmichelle]

moody superficial cold hippie….surprisingly accurate tbh

[robinthegeek]

@eclipseyeger accurate?

[official-contrabassoon]

If you don’t play bassoon reblog this because it applies to you too

[official-contrabassoon]

THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE REBLOGGING SAYING THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT A BASSOON IS MAKES ME HAPPY. NON MUSICIANS SPREAD THIS SHIT. DON’T KNOW WHAT A BASSOON IS? GOOD!

[mariesbookblog]

I make reed instruments, especially double reed instruments, sound like dying asthmatic ducks

[miserable-pics]