Are You Baking Or Starting A War?!
Malleus Draconia x Reader
It had seemed like a great idea at first. You and Malleus, cozied up in your dorm with the scent of baking cake in the air. You’d always been good at baking treats, enough to rival even Trey. A perfect opportunity to impress your boyfriend. You stood close together in the Pomefiore dorm kitchen, carefully guiding Malleus’s hands as you mixed homemade whipped cream. A splash of cream lingered on the fae prince’s lovely pale skin, a faint smirk making its way to your lips as you leaned in, tongue flicking out as you scandalously licked the cream from his cheek.
Malleus froze, emerald eyes widening fractionally as a blush crept to his cheeks. You did always enjoy a chance to get the stoic fae prince flustered. He cleared his throat, collecting himself.
“That was.. quite bold of you, child of man..” he murmured, then to your surprise, he leaned in and returned the gesture with a contented hum. “Your skin tastes sweet.”
My skin.. is sweet? your mind spluttered out, feeling your heart pound in your chest.
Malleus was smirking at you, his affectionate “vengeance” a clear success. You cleared your throat hard, looking for something, anything to distract him from how hot and bothered you were starting to feel.
“Ah.. the oven! It’s not on! Can you start it?” you blurted out, the Diasomnia Housewarden turning his attention to it.
“It would seems we have forgotten that step.” he observed, walking towards it. “Very well. I will try. I’ll admit, I have not used this technology before. Shall I try magic to light it?”
“Ah, yes, of course you haven’t.” you replied distractedly, the words slowly sinking in.
“Um, Malleus don’t use magic! You just have to turn the knob in front of you to-“
An explosion of fiery smoke engulfed the room, a grunt of surprise leaving Malleus’s throat as he shielded you both from the blast. When it cleared, you were both comically covered in black soot. Like a typical cartoon character, you blinked twice before finishing your sentence in a meek sounding squeak.
“Y-you were supposed to just turn the knob to three hundred and fifty degrees..”
“..Oh.” Was all the fae prince could think to say in the moment. “..These “ovens” are most complicated..”
“L-lets get this cleared up before-“
Yep, I’m dead! you thought as you slowly, but awkwardly turned to face a very pissed off looking Vil, arms crossed over his chest as his foot tapped furiously.
If elegant rage was a scent, it would be Vil’s signature scent right now. His eyebrow twitched as he gritted out
“Do you care to explain.. why you have made the dorm kitchen look like it was used for volcano practice?!?!”
You quickly put your hands up in surrender.
“It was an accident! Honest! Malleus and I were baking a cake and he tried to use magic to heat the oven-“
“And you LET him?!” Vil demanded incredulously.
Welp. I’m gonna be cursed for life. you lamented, then an unexpected voice spoke up.
“Oh my. You children certainly get up to quite a bit of trouble!”
You turned to see Lilia, beaming in amusement as he took in the disaster in front of you. Mumbling a dignified apology, Malleus restored the room with a snap of his fingers. The bat fae tsked teasingly at you both, shaking his head.
“Perhaps you need supervision? It’s been some time since I’ve had a chance to try my hand in the kitchen-“
“NO!” you and Malleus hollered a little too loudly, and you quickly plastered a sickly sweet smile on your face.
“I mean.. we wanted to give it to you as a present!” you blustered out, desperately trying to think of a decent excuse. “It wouldn’t make sense for you to help if the present is for you, right? Besides!”
Vil let out a startled exclamation as you suddenly grabbed his sleeve, dragging him over to stand next to you.
“Vil here generously offered his help! He’s a housewarden too, so he can supervise!”
Vil stared daggers at you.
“If you value staying the Fairest of All and not Looks The Most Like A Living Corpse, just go with it!” you hissed, and the housewarden relented with a sigh.
Vil did have a soft side for you after all, often acting like an older brother.
“Y-yes.. I will.. personally oversee this cake making.” he muttered as he smoothed down his sleeve and straightened up, trying to look dignified.
Lilia on the other hand, seemed delighted.
“Oh-ho, a present for me you say? I’m flattered. Don’t let me interrupt you!”
And so your romantic date turned into an awkward volcanic baking experience with Vil babysitting- AHEM, third wheeling, filled with horror stories of Lilia’s terrible cooking, courtesy of Malleus. You sighed quietly to yourself.
Maybe next time you’ll impress him?
Check out the other x reader fics linked here! Feel free to drop requests for consideration
https://archiveofourown.org/works/70982886/chapters/184598781
