if i look back, i am lost
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Monterey Bay Aquarium
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Origami Around
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ellievsbear
Show & Tell
EXPECTATIONS
shark vs the universe
official daine visual archive
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Jules of Nature
YOU ARE THE REASON
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Sade Olutola
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The Bowery Presents
d e v o n
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@roleplayasmarian
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"I like the express my emotions openly and proudly. Of course I am a doctor and that requires a certain amount of self-control so there are times when even I must suppress my personal feelings, but I find that for the most part it's simply better for everyone that I am as open as possible."
šŗ - Does your muse have a favorite flower? Why do they like it?
Marian sipped some tea as he thought about the answer."I love most white flowers from a pure aesthetic point of view, but I'd say my favorite flower is the lily. It's a flower associated with love and affection along with innocence, plus it's just a very lovely flower.ā
Marian considered something about the lily.
āI hear some breeds of lily are toxic to cats. Of course I'm not a vet and I don't own a cat. If you own one and it digests anything from a lily please make sure to stop by our local Animal Hospital."
Checkup
lettuce-swimā:
āBig Sis, I missed you!ā Leia smiled brightly and entered the apartment, looking for somewhere to place her dish. She settled on a table and set it down.Ā āIām sorry I havenāt visited in a while. Iāve just been so busy with work and running and swimming all over the place.āĀ
Leia took a seat at the table and rested an elbow and then rested her chin on her hand.Ā āSo, whatās going on in your world?ā
Marian got some ice water for the two of them and took a seat across from Leia.
"It's okay dear, the important part is you're doing well. As for me, mostly the same old stuff. Honestly not much has been going on for me. New patients, my coworkers are as delightfully quirky as always, and I went on a few dates that didn't lead anywhere."
"Sometimes I wonder if it's me, you know."
Marian quickly snapped out of his funk.
"Anyway, how has work been treating you? Youād let Big Sis know if you were being troubled by a co-worker right?"
Holiday Office Prep [Open]
forecastinglilliesā:
Stuck in a circle, huh? That was a good way to put it. And maybe she did need to work on her self-esteem. She just needed to do better, or at least try to like herself a little more. Starting with her perception of herself seemed as good an idea as any.
She looked down at the paper uncertainly, eyes skimming over the question once, then again. She read it more carefully the third time and tried to think what her answer was. What did she want?
She didnāt want to just go with the first thing that came to her mind. That being her desire to be better at her job. If she gave it some thought, thatās not really what she wanted. Yes, she liked her job. It was fun and she could explore many new things through it. But thatās not what she wanted, not really.
So what did she want?
To like herself? Well, yes, but that seemed more of an end goal than what she wanted right now. To have more friends? Yes but, again, an end goal.Ā
Finally, she thought she had her answer. She wrote it on the paper in pretty cursive font.
I want to be more free.
When Lillie finished writing Marian checked her answer.
I want to be more free.
Marian couldn't help but parse that desire through a filter of his own life. Images of his parents flooded his mind. How easy it is to lose yourself when a lot of pressure is put on you. He couldn't help but feel a connection to Lillie's answer.
But this was about Lillie not him and he needed to stay focused and professional.
"Freedom is somewhat abstract, but it's a lovely answer. Freedom can mean a lot of different things so what we need to do now is figure out what it means to you and how you can grasp it. Just remember that no matter how hard it might seem; and it will seem very hard at times, I am here to help you."
Thought-Provoking Headcanon Meme
Send a symbol and Iāll answer the question about my muse. (Or answer in character. Whatever works for you!)
āļø - How does your muse react to others breaking the law? If they would do it themselves, what is their reasoning? š - If your muse was the only person around and someone was injured, would they help? Would they have the experience needed? šø - What does your muse think of wealthy people? Do they resent them, or do they believe they earned what they have? š - What does your muse think of poor people? Do they think theyāre a waste of space, or do they want to help them? š© - Does your muse prefer to physically write letters or send them online? What is their reasoning? š¢ - Does your muse have a loud personality or a quiet one? Do they enjoy being the center of attention, or would they rather watch and listen? š - How does your muse feel about the state of the world? Could it be better? Could it be worse? šØ - What is your museās relationship like with their father? Is it good, bad, or complicated? š© - What is your museās relationship like with their mother? Is it good, bad, or complicated? š§ - What is your museās relationship like with their siblings? Who do they get along with best? š¶ - If they have any, what is your museās relationship like with their children? Do they feel like theyāre a good parent? š» - Does your muse believe in an afterlife? What do they think itās like? ā° - Does your muse feel like they need to do things quickly or do they take their time? āļø - How often does your muse think about death? Do they think about it at all? š - What are your museās standards for meaningful relationships? How quickly do they form relationships like these? š¹ - How would your muse react to losing their father? How would they cope? šŗ - How would your muse react to losing their mother?Ā How would they cope? š¼ - How would your muse react to losing a child? How would they cope? š§ - How would your muse react to losing a best friend?Ā How would they cope? š - How would your muse react to losing a romantic partner?Ā How would they cope? š - How does your muse feel about animal lives? Do they treat them the same way theyād treat a person, or do they feel theyāre inferior? š - Does your muse want to change the world? How would they go about it? š - How does your muse handle their emotions? Do they bottle them up or pour them out as soon as they start to feel? š - How does your muse feel about people who cheat? Do they see a reason for it, or is it completely immoral? š - Would your muse make a wish on a star? If so, what would they wish for? š - Does your muse celebrate their birthday? If yes, how do they celebrate? If no, why not? š - How does your muse feel about their body? Would they change it if they could? š - How does your muse feel about gender roles? Do they conform to them, or do they play by their own rules? šŗ - Does your muse have a favorite flower? Why do they like it?
Checkup
lettuce-swimā:
Leia felt forever indebted to Marian for helping her out when everything felt hopeless. Once she was 18, she moved out because she didnāt want to be a burden any longer. Still, she stayed close (just a room away) and visited often.
On a cold afternoon, after she had gotten off work, Leia cooked a fish she had caught while swimming home from the cove. She placed the fish on a plate and walked over to Marianās door. With the plate in one hand, she knocked on the door with her other hand and waited.Ā
Marian was considering going out for dinner as he had been busy and didn't have much food in his apartment when a knock was heard. Opening the door an adorable young woman was standing, cooked fish in hand.
It was none other than Leia. Marian would never forget that day over ten years ago when he found a real life mermaid washed up on shore. Since then Leia has been a constant and precious person in his life.
"Leia dear, it's so good to see you. Please come in."
Activity Check
*failed*
+500
-3000 for living in the Inner Apartments
27,910ā¬G - 2500G = New Total 25,410G
Holiday Office Prep [Open]
forecastinglilliesā:
And so Lillie did. She got it all off her chest, telling him about frustrating coworkers and clients, overwhelming jobs and tasks asked of her, and so on and so forth until every possible thing that crossed her mind was out and in the open.
After all that, she inhaled a deep breath, then exhaled it in a sigh.Ā
āBut, umā¦ Yeah. Thatās the long and the short of it, I guess.ā
She smiled sheepishly, as if a little embarrassed about telling Marian so much about her personal life. She knew it was okay to tell him all this, of course. She trusted him. He was her psychiatrist after all. But it was hard admitting things that she didnāt like about herself sometimes.
Long story short? It was rough.
Marian looked Lillie up and down. The poor girl seemed exhausted from everything she talked about.
āLillie, Iāve been thinking it over and youāre stuck in a circle. What weāll need to do is work on your self-esteem. Youāre a wonderful, friendly, and; if I may, pretty young women. You keep focusing on narratives where you see yourself as; for lack of a better term, lesser. Now I understand part of that is the stress from work, but since I canāt fix that - Iād like to fix your perception of yourself and work from there.ā
He got up and opened a cabinet. āLetās see here, a-ha!ā
Marian sat down a paper with a single question on it in front of Lillie with a pencil.
āIād like you to be as honest as you can be, write down the answer to this question to the best of your abilities.ā
The question was What do I want?
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Name: Bright Canon:Ā Shinigami to Gin no Kishi Size: 100x100
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Preview:
Dropbox Link:Ā HERE
To The Mainland without Love
The cold was biting into Marian, but he didn't react. He was to busy staring across the sea. His mind drifted to his parents who had given him so much in exchange for pain and suffering. He looked at the envelope in his hand.
Once a year around this time his parents would send him a letter and every year Marian would come out this way and toss it into the sea without reading it. Nothing they had to say mattered and something about the theatrics pleased Marian. He did so love the theater.
Then he would go and get some drinks and head home for a nice rest wishing he could cuddle up with a cute guy, but still happy to be his own person.
Holiday Office Prep [Open]
forecastinglilliesā:
āThatās a relief. Thank you so much, Marian.ā
She settled onto the plush couch and exhaled a sad little sigh. She wasnāt sure where to begin. With the rough demands of modeling, perhaps? Or perhaps those creepy fans sheād been spotting here and there, trying to hide from her view but not quite able to? How about that new crush of hers?
She froze at the thought of the crush. Were famous people allowed to have crushes? The answer should have been obvious, but Lillie was prone to overthinking when she got anxious.
She supposed she may as well say it all. But one thing first.
āYou look lovely today, by the way,ā she said softly.Ā āBut, umā¦ Itās just been rough at work with the upcoming holiday season at all. Getting all these weird jobs. You know, model these jingle bell socks, model that skimpy Santa dress. That sort of thing. Usually, I donāt mind it. I can work with the photographers until Iām comfortable. But itās like, latelyā¦ I donāt knowā¦ Like Iām not being heard I guess?ā
Sheād start there. See what Marian had to say. Then sheād go from there.
"Thank you dear, I personally feel it's important to try to look your best. Now give me one moment because I think..."
Marian had set up his work laptop to check in on the notes about Lillie.
Yes, fears about not being heard.
"Yes, do you remember that you voiced similar issues in past sessions? We talked about how you sometimes feel like people want to protect you like an object, that this sometimes makes you feel less like a person. Feeling objectified isnāt uncommon as weāve discussed, but we know it goes further than that in your case."
Marian looked away from the screen and directly at Lillie, making eye contact.
"If you're comfortable with it I'd personally like for you to go over some examples of times you felt like people weren't listening to you at work? Donāt worry if you repeat anything, just worry about getting it off your chest."
Holiday Office Prep [Open]
forecastinglilliesā:
Being famous was rough. She dealt with strange work environments, crazy fans, and demanding orders if she wasnāt doing her job quite right. She tried to manage it all on her own most of the time, but sometimes that grew too much for her. Thatās why her manager advised she go to a psychiatrist by the name of Marian.
As of the current moment, she had worked with him on multiple occasions. He was cheery and kind. Lillie appreciated his help. After a particularly rough day at work, cut short due to overwhelming anxiety, Lillie decided to make an unexpected visit to the doctorās office.
āHi there, Marian. Sorry about coming with no advanced notice and all. Justā¦ Iāve had a rough day. Needed someone to talk to, you know?ā
She offered a small, shaky smile. Her eyes were red and puffy. It looked like sheād been crying. She was just trying to do her best, and sometimes it really felt like she wasnāt doing nearly enough.
It was none other than Lillie. A pleasure to be around to say the least. She was a popular weather girl at Leuda Broadcasting Station. Marian tuned in often to check the weather. Marian wasn't all that surprised to see her show up one day as a patient - fame has it's pressures Marian couldn't even begin to imagine.
Examining Lillie's face Marian could tell right away Lillie had a hard day. They'd discussed anxiety in the past. Marian hadn't quite come to a conclusion as to if it was a full on anxiety disorder Lillie had, but one thing was certain. Lillie needed someone and he was here to help. Only Lillie could decide how far Marian could go in treatments.
"Oh no, it's fine dear, I'm actually free today." He gestured to the soft pink couch. "Why don't you take a seat and tell Marian what's bothering you?"
Marian let Lillie take a seat before turning an "occupied, don't disturb" sign on the door and closing it. Marian then took a seat and nodded letting Lillie know it was safe to talk.
Holiday Office Prep [Open]
Marian had decided to take it upon himself to decorate the office he worked from for the holidays. It was important to make this place a comfortable and homely place where patients felt like they were just hanging out with a friend.
There were holiday baubles, holly, and a small tree decked in simple white lights. A large sign hung on the wall sign wishing the patient a healthy and happy new year and much much more.
Marian had also decked himself in a gorgeous holiday themed dress for the season with matching holiday earring.
He checked himself out on the mirror he kept on the door.
"Lovely Marian, you look great and are a wonderful person worth knowing." It was like a mantra. Itās important to tell yourself how valuable you really are at least once a day.
As he twirled in front of the mirror, letting the dress flow around him, the door opened.
āOh hello dear, I wasnāt expecting anybody today.ā
