some bones about it

gone

[swingsetindecember]

how the old gods lose their powers because people stop believing in them, but there’s nike, the goddess of victory, and she’s like even more powerful, just strolling up on olympus in limited edition air force ones 

[90377]

Bog Trail by Shane Garlock

[kawaiijohn]

reblog if you think

is better than

[kawaiijohn]

as someone who wears a lot of spandex and HAS huge chesticles, seeing people tag about how “well ur complaining about NOTHING”  

listen, buddy pal

i cosplayed this lady and nearly had to RIP MY GODDAMN SPANDEX BODYSUIT to get the chest harness and boobs to fit like they do in her stupid design;

SPOILER ALERT! IT DIDNT HAPPEN!!

I TAPED THE COLLAR TO THE SUIT BC FUCK IT IT LOOKED ACCURATE ENOUGH

AND I KNOW ITS HARD TO SEE WITH THE WHITE SUIT BUT

HERES SOME EXAMPLES OF WHAT SUPER TIGHT STRETCHY CLOTHES DOES ON HUGE TIDDIES BC

I KNOW HOW THIS SHIT WORKS I LIVE IT STOP DOING THE BOOB POCKET THING PLS

[wewerealltoblame]

did you know that Friday 13th was meant to be a really good lucky day meant for fucking because it was dedicated to Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility and the patron goddess of Fridays

but then Christianity found out about it and were like “Fucking???? outside of marriage????? NO NO NO!!!” and decided it was a horrible terrible bad unlucky day and you need to be super careful of everything you do in case you die or some shit.

so thanks Christians for ruining everyone’s fucking fun

[greatlordfluffernutter]

Petition to bring back Friday the FUCKteenth.

[goodgamegrumps]

[weirdmonsterling]

my body may be a temple but i am the god to whom it is devoted

do not presume to tell me how i may decorate my altar

[diviningtheway]

This is quite possibly the best way I’ve heard to say “I dress how I want, deal with it” There needs to be more things like this

[probablyvampirerpgideas]

Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.

So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess

[anachronistic-cat]

… can i use that phrase irl?

[probablyvampirerpgideas]

Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.

[the-argumentative-viper]

Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.

[nuttersincorporated]

You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.

[fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan]

I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.

[take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool]

I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito

[prismatic-bell]

Listen here, cum-slut, I wager you five mil you own no bird. But prithee, I have seven fowl to my house. I tell you this, not a beast of the air would walk, unfettered, into a fount of chocolate. Most rare is it that such one would walk, lo, even into the pouring of waters.

Soft, though, what of it should you speak true, fool?

If a brid walketh anon.

þone fugol stillan ġelīċlīċe ācwæl.

[janothar]

@secretsofthemasquerade

[nooboonation]

1.17

[catchymemes]

[sleepy-sheepie-deactivated20190]

This shouldn’t be this funny but it’s painfully funny

[januariat]

this is so cute

[sushinfood]

humans are adorable, jesus christ

[drdelphinecormigay]

There is categorically no trend on Twitter that will ever ever ever beat this ‘girls do it better’ thing we’ve got going because honestly it’s just meaning we’re getting photos of beautiful girls recreating this look and my lesbian ass is living for it

[drdelphinecormigay]

Seeing as you guys are loving this as much as I am, let me bless your eyes with some more beautiful girls creating this iconic look. Creds of course to all of these wonderful ladies

[thepurpleskies]

please just read the whole thing

[blogofeggspast]

what a fucking ride

[lohver]

i think it’s important to realize that no matter how good you are to people, it won’t make them good to you.

[mad-hare]

OvO

[zicygomar]

[the-little-weird-one]

Who the fuck catches a HAWK

[sasskarian-archive]

@suspendnodisbelief I’m dyin

[tibets]

here is a corner of a room that has a penis and balls

[tibets]

i have truly posted some things online

[karaagehime]

to the window to the walls to the corner dick and balls

[skelegun]

Next crystal i buy will be a bloodstone

[classicmeevs]

This is what a wizard mumbles to himself angrily after every time he has to deal with Comcast support

[uzuburrito-deactivated20230202]

being a DM in dnd like

[uzuburrito-deactivated20230202]

@helpicantthinkofaurl

I apologize for lashing out. One of my players threw themselves in acid after they were fully aware it was in fact acid. I did not and still do not know how to deal with that. 

[brotheralyosha]

In the very first D&D game that I ever played, our party was standing right outside the entrance to a dungeon. Part of the area was covered in a red energy field. Inside the red energy field, all of the grass was dead, and right on the border between the area inside the energy field and outside of it, there was a collection of dead animals, insects, and other forest creatures. As we watched, a little bunny came hopping up, hopped into the red energy field, and, the moment that it entered the field, instantly dropped dead.

Guess what one of our players decided to do next. Take a wild fuckin guess.

[coiour-my-world]

Tunnel of Love, Ukraine

[nightinngales]

bruh…

[prime89]

Wait, if their names are puns on their power, then Violet is ultraviolet which is invisible to the human eye.

[freshest-tittymilk]

SHUT UP.

[earlploddington-deactivated2019]

13 years

[advanced-procrastination]

Y'all are gonna flip your shit when i tell you about Dash