Rosalyn's Murmurings

A Text Blog

[rosalyngray]

Life is terror, but then I found some of the ground cherries my neighbor let me pick ripened since this afternoon, so I'm hunched like a critter over my fruit, munching on the little snacks with little wrappers and everything is beautiful.

[rosalyngray]

I would like to lodge a complaint:

Online they've always said ground cherries taste like tomatillos if they were a little bit sweet, and that is a bald-faced lie based on eating under ripe ground cherries.

The ones that are a nice golden yellow actually taste like banana/cantaloupe nuggets of haunting flavor that will crawl into your brain.

[rosalyngray]

Better ways to phase Astrology Tropes (by observation and nothing else, not an astrologer):

If you dress like your rising sign, it will reinforce the image people have of you in their mind, how they see you, how you are generally interpreted by the external world.

Your MC & placements clumped around that will influence how you show up to any of your work endeavors, and how you will be interpreted in those endeavors. It will be the qualities you bring to literally anything you do when working with the external, like natural gifts, qualities, aura etc. It's about the inherent value you bring with you to the work you do, whatever work you DECIDE to do. It may influence but doesn't dictate destiny.

Black Moon Lilith is important, but it is definitely the double edged sword of Eros in your life. The sign itself is what external energies will desire from you, the ruler is what you will desire from others, and that dichotomy will be thematic of your interactions with those external to you. Pleasing yourself vs pleasing others. Often the rub is that indulging in the wishes of others may taint your own pleasure & create issues for you.

Your chart will progress, it will influence you as the years progress, but you will find time is funny stuff, and you will find those qualities in your past as well. Also, my progressed Tropical Chart resembles my present Sidereel, which is very timey-wimey.

I don't have the source, but in the past a multidisciplinary group at MIT decided to experiment on winter break to figure out the math of divination. They tested results with the i-ching yarrow stick method, and found the pattern of results closely matched the Chaos Math behind the Doppler Raider. My sauce was on Twitter, thus lost, but when you think of Astrology or any forms of divination, I want you to think of the weather forecast. The Oracle says it might rain, so feel free to pack an umbrella.

[rosalyngray]

Pro-tip from not a doctor:

Start eating potatoes. In fact start eating root veggies in general. They are filling, nutritious & REALLY fantastic for your health. Potatoes are also genuinely easy-ish to grow, they love buckets.

Watch Supersizers WW2 if it's still out there for the nutrition sauce and be inspired. Diet culture is back with a vengeance, and it took me 20 years to detox from those bad habits. It's a depression out there financially. Eat carbs!

[rosalyngray]

I'M NOT A DOCTOR DON'T LISTEN TO ME AT ALL BECAUSE I'M JUST A HOLLAR CRYPTID:

EXPERIMENT UPDATE FOR RAW DOGGING PERIMENOPAUSE AND MY FIRST YEAR OF MENOPAUSE ( peri = approx 34-44, meno = approx 44 til six months after period stops)

Increasing estrogen herbs do very poorly on my stomach, in a different way than increasing testosterone herbs. So I did an oil tincture of Fenugreek & Blackberry leaves (1 tblespn of each in 1/4 cup grapeseed oil set for 4-6 weeks in a coll dry dark space).

I'm happy to say that it's effective so far as a topical application. Helps the neurological itches, the adrenal backache, chin dryness, neck ache sector of symptoms.

Also add (kitchen) Sage Tea onto the list to help "Hot Flashes", which are more or less the same as the PMS symptom set of body temperature dysregulation, less temperament regulation, etc.

(please note, they will act like meno & peri are the hard end of fertility but until that period stops you are still in danger if you have a uterus.)

[rosalyngray]

I turned 46 last month, and am having my first real two months of menopause. Listen, all I want to do is unleash non-binary afab rage upon the earth, eat icecream, drink caffeine, be a wine aunt, and dress like the really really slutty goth I was never allowed to because of propriety, having to be seen as proper & intelligent, and trying to prevent outright physical assault.

[rosalyngray]

I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR TRAINED MEDICAL PERSON!

I've been herbally treating my Peri-menopsuse, here's the information I've gathered, which will hopefully be of use to all genders, including CIS boys because you have a menopause too.

First, track your 28 day cycle, the 4 weeks are dominated by different hormones, no one herb or medicine will cover that, so nothing will be solid. This will vary if you tend towards estrogen dominance, testosterone dominance or progesterone dominance.

Second, double check your foods, if you eat a lot of estrogen promoting foods, that may have to be monitored while supplementing through hormonal transitions. Including if you practice a specialized diet, like low carb, vegan, etc.

Third, any hormonal herbs may cause stomach ache or nausea, it's a sign that it's the wrong dosage, or the wrong cycle point for that herb.

Fourth, any of these can trigger a menstrual cycle if you are within 14 days of it, or in menopausal changes.

Herbology Notes:

Vitex: Lowers estrogen. Start with very low amounts, like 5-6 nuggets.

Saw Palmetto: Lowers Testosterone, start small & once a week. Can help lower facial hair growth, but only slightly, don't expect big results.

Tulsi or Holy Basil: Lowers ALL hormones.

Mint: Increases Testosterone, slightly.

(exercise caution, humans need a balance of hormones to function, if you notice behavioral changes, mental distress, or physical symptoms, sthap the herbs THE SECOND you are in distress and re-calcuate.)

Be careful with Ashwagandha if you have PCOS or Endo, it has a high chance of inflaming those conditions.

Dietary Notes:

Sugar: Increases Progesterone

Soy: Increases Estrogen

Will update the list as experiments continue.

[rosalyngray]

YFW there's a real illuminati, real occultists, and real conspiracies...

... but every single one of them is just a club for white people to play "Dubai" in private clubs with devilish names.

Like, end your mystique now (spiritual babes especially). MOST esoteric knowing either ends in Yatesze Edgelords playing "LIBERTINE" and pretending sensuality is disregarding consent - or it's Christian Monks getting jealous and writing angry vocel fanfics about Jewish Mysticism or Islamic Technology.

Or it's transmitted & shadowed by the POV of those people.

[rosalyngray]

Neurodivergent Guide:

Self Care: Finding ways to structure your time so that you can prioritize hygiene as a part of your daily routine.

Mindfulness: Finding ways to structure your time so that you can prioritize going over your thoughts & feelings as part of your waking routine.

Self Regulation: Finding ways to set certain boundaries so that you can take care of your own limits before they become a problem.

Boundary: A rule you set for yourself in any social or parasocial interaction.

Self Betrayal: When you've ignored your own boundaries & rule sets.

Stuck: In an overwhelm state caused by an unexamined pattern that needs examining, often a part of therapy is to help identify this behavior.

Reality Shifting/Outlook Changing: Meditating on conceptual modes. Often meaning to view oneself from the third person mode to get clarity from an overview perspective. (whereas many neurodivergent people need to connect with internal & physical concept modes).

Feeling your Feelings: The way your body feels. Particularly in varying situations, around individual people, consuming specific media, thinking certain thoughts, in certain activities. (neurodivergent people may need to look up a body feeling chart to help track the physical sensations they are experiencing).

Manifesting: Setting a focus for the theme of a special interest so that one can find the pattern or pathway to that interest.

Vision Board: Imagining a Special Interest.

[rosalyngray]

When you are in an EllGeeBeeTeeQuah owned store, and realize you are flagging as a hyper flirtatious femme Les dollar bean, but you are a non-binary bi-person on the verge of a POTS episode.

[rosalyngray]

No one ever tells you about the fact that the more you try to be kind to yourself, self parent, emotionally regulate, the less you can "fit in" to previous spaces.

Like, you move into the place where you've dated yourself, balanced feminine and masculine, become your own black cat & golden retriever friend... the more you need people who honor their aspects. A conundrum.

[rosalyngray]

Underrated Red Flags for other people who have trouble processing their own emotional states for whatever reason:

Feeling guilty, this is an internal red flag that your inner caregiver has been triggered, and you need to work through those feelings* before you continue.

"They seem harmless", if someone feels like a blank, if you feel passive vobes, or the person frequently puts you "in charge" of conversations, plans, to fill up spaces, proceed with caution. You have encountered a situation where someone is masking, and need to know more. Don't give them much information, and take time to figure it out.

* feeling feelings just means stopping, and describing the feeling. Is it cold? Is it blue? Is it a metallic sound? Say what it feels like. If you are still confused, look up "body feeling chart ' and keep it on hand.

[rosalyngray]

NOT MEDICAL ADVICE I AM NOT A REAL DR:

For people struggling with fatigue & heart/breathing issues after having the 'vid who cannot afford medical help or medicine:

Hawthorne leaves, berries and flowers. Best in a tea form, start with one teaspoon of leaves/flowers and 2 berries once a week. Expand when you feel more symptomatic, like brain fog, exhaustion etc.

Mullen tea is a drying agent that will help control mucus and improve breathing. I'll burn it if I start wheezing, I don't know if that's something I'd recommend but I can't use an inhaler, so it's a yolo for me.

If you insist on using elderberry or echinacea please use it ONCE at the onset of sickness and no more. Overactive immune systems can do damage to recovery.

Rest, really rest, Victorian Style.

Ginger while you are sick, I know they always say that, it never worked for me before but it works for this.

Stay off dark greens & berries until you are recovered, they can slow healing.

[rosalyngray]

Lana del Rey covering Christian Woman by Type O.

[rosalyngray]

THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE I AM NOT A DR:

For the people who get really nasty bug bites, a oil or salve made of Dried Jewel Weed (leaves & flowers) will take down swelling and itching, and provide comfort. It's a treatment for poison oak as well.

[rosalyngray]

You've heard of manic pixie dream girl syndrome, I present Buffy the Vampire Slayer syndrome. In which an adult male has the warmest fuzziest sweetest gooiest fluffy feelings for a pre-frontal cortex development female/twink with the hope that she will utterly destroy him and his life.

Often tied to creative types, but not exclusively; and tied to the desire to surrender control without having to deconstruct the motivation, thus issues of consent become dubious. Can also be a pain-stim, and a form of emotional unavailability.

[rosalyngray]

Billie Eilish doing the speech from the scary tunnel in Willy Wonka, but as a song.