A Spark Of (In)Sanity

Kira, 26, she/her, ace - current obsessions: music & poetry ♡

[theneighborhoodcryptid]

i wish i was in love with a boy,

one with hair made shadows

and eyes full of nebulae,

all moonlight and whispers and

faint caresses down the back of my neck,

whispers sending chills up my spine

murmuring words in the language of the holy.

i wish i was in love with a girl,

one with hair made of sunbeams

and eyes full of summer sky,

all daydreams and hand-holding and

brash laughter chasing away silence,

never ending chatter encircling my mind

declarations in the language of the divine.

but perhaps when cupid strung his bow

and squinted one eye to line up my heart,

his fingers were not yet so adept,

and his arrow landed just beside me.

close enough --

close enough for me to feel

whatever elixir of love

the arrowhead boasted.

but just so far away

that i would only know the image of heartache,

never the pain,

never how it would feel in my own body.

one will long

for even something as terrible as love

if everyone around them

has been struck by it.

just me and my weekly “oh my god i’m gonna be alone forever” aroace angst don’t mind me.

[hereiswhatremains]

"The world is happening in a room that I can't enter, life is happening in a gathering I am not invited to. Being unwanted is a language I am fluent in."

— Fatima Amir Bilal

[rose-0f-winter]

I am dumb.

They won’t say it but I can see it on their faces whenever I open my mouth.

I am fat.

My grandma tells me often enough. So does my mom occasionally when I try on new clothes.

I am ugly.

Ask any of the zero people that ever wanted to date me.

So how could I ever stop listening to the voice in my head repeating those same three qualities endlessly?

[rose-0f-winter]

I keep my heart in pieces.

The first piece belongs to my brother,

The second and third to my parents.

Four, five and six are for my grandparents,

And seven through ten for my friends.

My heart is in so many pieces but somehow there’s still enough of it left to miss someone it has never met.

[rose-0f-winter]

Feeling like I climbed a mountain but instead of the view at the mountain top I found an endless ocean that I've been aimlessly drifting in ever since.

[star-struck09]

Love is looking back because Orpheus did as well.

[astraeye]

"if it was me i wouldn't have looked" "if it was me i would've taken her out of the underworld safely" not me. i would've looked. i am a looker. i look out for the people i love.

a couple of weeks ago i was at a college party with hundreds of people. my best friend and i were trying to go through all the people to get to a foodtruck. i was in front of him, leading the way. and i couldn't help but look back every five seconds to see of he was still right behind me. i couldn't help but put a hand behind my back for him to hold it so i would know he was there. i couldn't help but worry about losing him in that mass of people. and one time, when i looked back and didn’t see him right away my heart dropped. because he is my best friend and i love him and i want to make sure he is safe

if i can't lead my best friend to a foodtruck in the middle of a party without worrying, without looking, without loving, how could orpheus lead his wife, the love of his life, out of the underworld, out of death, without worrying, without looking, without loving?

[rose-0f-winter]

About Growing (Up)

I am not lost, I have just arrived.

Travel-worn, overstimulated, overconfident.

The nest I have built around me feels unfamiliar and wrong.

In the quietude of my life, my mind dreams of potentials unfulfilled, of goals unreached, of paths untravelled.

The person I was before took the only road she could. But I am taller now, and wiser, and the things I once wanted don’t seem so unreachable anymore.

They tell me where I would have fit better, where they would fit me. And the child in me, the dreamer, she longs, and she grieves, and she wishes she had.

She could. Now. She's more capable now and more sure of herself. She could go and live the dreams her younger self once had.

But she is older now, I am wiser.

And there are other dreams. Dreams of a house in the countryside, a room full of books, a garden. Homecooked meals, a cat, a family, maybe?

These dreams are calmer, safer, lighter.

They are not heavy-handed and thorned, they won't wear me out and I don't have to fight for them.

And I am so tired of fighting, of travelling.

I want to arrive and I have arrived.

That's what I am starting to realize. I have arrived and I don’t need to look any further.

The trips I make are smaller now and always take me back here.

This is my nest, my home, my hub.

I am not lost and I have, finally, grown up.

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, "State of Emergency", Instructions for Traveling West

[lena-oleanderson]

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

[lunamonchtuna]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[a-bucket-in-the-void]

i don’t get “crushes”, i gain an interest in you. you’re a fascinating specimen and i need to examine you further

[holleighgolightly]

New meme template just dropped

[sadhornydemons]

"I will bathe you, build you a nest of my finest horse plushes, hunt down prey for your nourishment and if necessary regurgitate into the mouths of our young."

[andrumedus]

“I would never tie you down, not even with garlands of roses. I don’t want anything from you that doesn’t come from your own impulse, like water from the springs.”

— Dulce María Loynaz, tr. James O’Connor, Absolute Solitude: Selected Poems; “XLVI”

[timkontheunsure]

Blitz knows that people need more support on their first day

He really is a good boss

[nonbeans]

Thinking how what Stolas said when they were little has been ringing in his head since that day.

[angelshizuka]

DOMESTIC STOLITZ

DOMESTIC STOLITZ

DOMESTIC STOLITZ