hahahaa

i am molly. 19. NY. now TX. i like caffeine and breakfast foods at night

[sharksfood]

*throws waffles into the woods* for eleven

[trapcard]

[eunion]

???

[skillzyo]

Area Woman Outs Herself to Co-Worker Because She Had to Make A Gay Joke

[xenosagaepisodeone]

with a heavy heart i must disclose that paul blart: mall cop does not pass the bechdel test

[unclefather]

*at a slumber party* *playing Simon says* kid: clap your hands me: *claps* kid: Simon didn’t say says :) me: that man doesn’t control me, no man controls me

[weight-a-second]

concept: me, a housewife, putting two lean cuisines in the microwave. i drink an entire bottle of chardonnay during the four minutes the chicken fettuccine takes to heat up. my husband walks through the door just as i place the entrée on the table. he thanks me for slaving away all day over a hot stove. i have succeed in passing the lean cuisine off as my own creation. when he’s done, i tell him im in love with our maid, helen–who bears a striking resemblance to margot robbie–and that i will see him in court. im blind drunk and jump into a 1960s pink convertible that helen is driving. we laugh about the lean cuisines.

[nxtome]

ryan reynolds and his daughter 

[itchycoil]

I am faux self aware

[stability]

[spyadults]

the scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads

[a-big-furry-rat]

it’s a good thing we captured him in that mountain even if we have to live in fear of the spell wearing off :/

[kiss-deactivated20220315]

love me a girl with glasses. bring that blind ass here ma. no…over here smh

[averagefairy]

cool girls are everywhere but its such a challenge to find one guy thats like mildly interesting to talk to……. it’s like they all have the personality of an actual adidas sandal

[rudiecantfailtomakeyoucum-deact]

Maybe you’re a bitch

[averagefairy]

i mean i definitely am but youre still boring

[breadandflowers]

You ever notice how like…. Every girl is pretty

[jumex]

I actually hate being sappy like I’ll say “I missed you today” then immediately drag them to diffuse the situation

[lovely-bonsai]

[colehersch]

filmed my boss firing me from my sales position

[nvlliel]

What.

[xxxtictacion]

Whatever I just heard, make it into a TV show

[joosh-actual-deactivated2018092]

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen

[toocooltobehipster]

why does he have so many buttons undone