“I Am My Monster” Thoughts:
Oh, the shot of Sour Cream and Yellowtail sitting back to back on the dock listening to music together had me tender. ;-;
GOD, I KNEW STEVEN TRANSFORMS INTO A MONSTER, BUT STILL. IT’S HARROWING.
Estelle’s delivery of “That is Steven.” Oh, my go d
“As long as he believes he’s a monster, he’ll stay one.” 😭😭😭😭😭
Peridot yelling “Sorry, Steven!” after she and Bismuth swing by and hit him. 😭😭😭
“You know who would be great at that?” / “Who?!” / “STEVEN!” JEIRFIEIEJDJSNSJ.
THE DIAMOOOOONDS.
Amethyst: “You gotta be kidding me.” JEJDDJSHSJ
LMAO, “FOOT THONG THINGY.” THIS REALLY IS CINDERELLA HUH
White: “Why is something like this always happening when we show up for a visit?” IWIEFIFISJNSS, SHE’S SO HAUGHTY I LOVE HER
The Diamonds trying to immediately help has me ten d er.
AWHHJSIEHWHWH, YELLOW PUSHING BLUE OUT OF THE WAY FROM RECEIVING THE HAPPY CLOUD’S REBOUND.
I’m going to think about this tiny detail for the rest of the day.
Seeing how small the Diamonds are in comparison to monster Steven really puts it into context how big Steven must be right now.
Yellow and Blue rushing to catch White as she falls backwards. 😭😭
Lapis restraining Steven via water chains reminds me a lot of Malachite, who in her own way, was also a monster built on trauma and self-loathing,
Steven’s so powerful that he literally just wiped out everyone.
THE CLUSTER!!
“Deep inside this... monster, Steven must be in there, so angry.” / “I... I knew something was going on. Why didn’t I do something?” / “If we don’t get through to him, he’ll stay like this forever.” In Future’s arc, there were times where I desperately wished Greg and the Gems would have done more for Steven or abstained from doing anything at all (I’m specifically thinking of Ruby and Sapphire’s disastrous proposal advice, lmaoooooo), but truthfully, what they did and/or didn’t do is probably one of the most realistic depictions I’ve ever seen of a family navigating what it means to have a loved one who has mental illness. It’s tough to watch. It’s hard to reach out to a person who denies that they need help, who tries to hide all their pain away. And even when you do help, it never feels like enough. This isn’t to say that the Gems and Greg were perfect parents in this arc—that’s far from the truth—but I think they did as well as they could manage.
Which unfortunately... sometimes isn’t enough. Sometimes, the trauma and the pain and the hurt and the anger is greater.
“You didn’t protect him from us. He’s like this because of us.” I love Blue Diamond with all my heart.
Good on all the Diamonds and Spinel for owning up to their mistakes!! They’ve grown so much.
WHITE’S CRYING FACE HELPF DJDJDJDKSKSJOSOSXJIXID. I’M TRYING TO LISTEN TO WHAT SHE HAS TK SAY BUT DIWIOEDJJDJSSJ
BELPCNDJEOWOIDDJDJDNND
She is so dramatic oh my god
“This isn’t the time to make this all about you! That is not helping!” GO, CONNIE!!!!
AUGH, the sun shining in shafts of light across Connie’s face is so pretty.
And furthermore, she’s speaking the truth. In every harrowing situation Steven has ever experienced, he’s always prioritized the feelings of the Other over his own, which is a mark of his extreme empathy, but ultimately, empathy has a limit AND a recoil, which is that he’s internalized every bad thing that’s ever happened to him so that he can be present for others.
“He needs US this time! We all had Steven when we needed him, but the only person who’s never had Steven is Steven. He’s always been there for us, so how can we be there for him now?” I LOVE YOU, CONNIE MAHESWARAN.
“It’s time to show Steven some love.” AUGHSHDIDJDHEHDHSHS. 😭😭😭😭
THE DIAMONDS RUNNNING DIWOIDDNSNSJSK LOOK AT WHITE’S LEG S LOOK AT THEM. IT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY
Oh, my God. The way Garnet hugs him, fingers dug into his scaly skin.
“Steven, when I fell apart, you were there for me. I want to be there for you now. I’m here, Steven. I’m here.” HHHHHHHHH.
A very subtle call back to “Here Comes A Thought.”
“I’m here, Shtu-ball—whatever you need! I’ll make it happen!” 😭😭😭
“Steven, you never gave up on me for some reason I don’t understand! I’ll do the same for you!”
“I know you feel bad—believe me, I get it. Sometimes, it feels like you’re never gonna like yourself, but it’s possible, man!” 😭😭😭😭😭 HHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
“Steven, I know how awful it feels to keep a part of yourself secret. You shouldn’t have to hide anything from me!” 😭😭😭😭
No reactions, only 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭.
AUGH, THE CLUSTER HOLDING HIS HAND
THE WIDE SHOT OF THEM ALL HUGGING THE BOY THAT THEY LOVE. AUGHHHUEUEUDIDJSJS
“Steven, you must have been so afraid to show us this side of yourself, but we’re not going anywhere. We’re all going to take care of you the same way you take care of us.”
OH, THE BLACKOUT AT THE KISS. UGH, THAT’S SUCH A GOOD ARTISTIC CHOICE.
Steven crying his own healing tears in response to being loved and thus healing himself. Oh, my g o d.
Steven waking up to see everyone’s relieved, but teary faces has got me feeling some kind of way.
Steven crying and hugging Lion. oh my. Go d 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
There will never be another show that understands the power of a cathartic cry like this one. 😭😭😭
