han solo has such a chokehold on the cultural consciousness of cis male star wars fans and writers that every male character in star wars, no matter what character traits they start with, ends up turning into diet han solo

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@rosegoldastromech
han solo has such a chokehold on the cultural consciousness of cis male star wars fans and writers that every male character in star wars, no matter what character traits they start with, ends up turning into diet han solo
people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels
if nothing else trying to tune out the sounds of anakin and padme going to town as i contemplate the babbling brook gave me a brief but vivid window into what it’s like to be obi wan kenobi
Obi-Wan is like I got the kids in the divorce. They aren't even my kids. Or my divorce
dude i just deployed a fucking droideka on your dashboard you are fucked
You've been isekai'd into a fictional setting. Spin this wheel to find out which one.
How will you fare?
This is going to be a BLAST, actually! I'm thrilled!
Okay, I can totally handle this. Let's go!
There will be challenges, no doubt, but I should certainly be able to meet them
I'm definitely concerned, but with a little luck I'll be able to make it through
My odds are ANYTHING but good, but I'm still going to try
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
since kay is mace windu's padawan & boba fett wants mace windu dead SOOOOO bad during the clone wars, i think it's funny if kay and boba have insane beef with each other
downsides of being super ill for a few days are being ill, plus sides are i finally sat down and watched the 2003 clone wars cartoon!
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tatooine boy discovers not all planets are covered in sand, will need an hour or so to process this
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My favourite running gag in Star Wars is Darth Maul being absolutely obsessed with getting revenge on Obi Wan over something he started. Obi Wan did absolutely nothing to him except defend himself. Maul killed someone Obi Wan loved and then tried to kill him as well and now I guess he’s mad that Obi Wan didn’t let him murder him??? So dramatic and for what
look, I’m just saying that it’s not completely out of the realm of possibility for Palpatine to have made Vader attend state dinners, and it’s also not completely out of the realm of possibility for Leia to have been brought to one of those state dinners, and since both Leia and Vader are possessed of the peculiar ability to engender absolute rage in anyone that talks to them, it is in fact more than possible that they ended up in the bitchiest, most useless of staring contests at least once
extremely poor artist’s rendition
if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart
Which canon ship in Star Wars is the best?
Han Solo x Leia Organa (Original Trilogy)
Anakin Skywalker x Padme Amidala (Prequel Trilogy)
Kylo Ren | Ben Solo x Rey (Sequel Trilogy)
Obi-Wan Kenobi x Satine Kryze (The Clone Wars)
Cassian Andor x Jyn Erso (Rogue One)
Kanan Jarrus x Hera Syndulla (Rebels)
Other canon ship I forgot
I don’t like any of these ships/I only ship fanon
What’s Star Wars/see results
I Always love thinking of the AUs where Anakin/Vader raises the twins, partially because of his immaculate dad T-shirts, and also I just love thinking of how he’d react to either of the twins dating a literal criminal (yk ignoring Anakin’s own numerous war crimes) cause I’m sorry Han but you don’t stand a chance
maybe someone should stop ignoring his crimes actually
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folks would really benefit if they stopped framing hanleia’s premarital bickering in esb as a sign of an inherent flaw in their relationship and started viewing as what it really is: two people working to tear down the public facade of the other to get at their actual heart.
every argument they have in esb is either leia actively trying to dismantle han’s tough, cocky, and aloof outer exterior and get him to admit he’s not just working with the rebellion out of convenience but because he’s actually come to care for the cause and the people fighting it (her and luke) and instead of jetting off the moment it starts getting too comfortable, he should face his fears and actually do something worthwhile with that surplus of dumb luck and hotshot charisma he oozes.
or it’s han actively trying to get leia to admit that she actually doesn’t have it all figured out!! oh she might know him like the back of her hand but she’s missing the big flashing sign right in front of her. WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH HIM, PRINCESS?? you think maybe its because you’ve got a big ol’ crush?? oh, sure! he gets it. the rebellion takes priority, she’s all work and no play… but if thats actually the case, would it kill her to stop hounding him about how he might secretly be a good guy?? or, simpler solution, why doesnt she just admit that theres clearly a spark here??
It’s also funny. It’s these two very strong willed people who are trying to flirt with each other and sort of failing, sort of speaking the other’s language.
It’s Very American Pride and Prejudice. No silent judgement or using Jane/Luke as a shield. Let’s yell. Chewie, take Mr. Collins into the back and plug him into the hyperdrive before he tells us anything more about the esteemed Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
count dooku after indulging in his daily milano cookie
kinda fucks me up to know that the first among anakin's immediate friends and family to realize he'd become a danger to them was threepio. like what about anakin triggered his threat sensors? was it the way he moved? the expression on his face? what about the youngling slaughter clung to him? how could a droid sense the dark side when those who love him couldn't see it?
#maybe because the ones who love him loved him#obi-wan and Padmé both love him to the point of utter faith#the Jedi love him because he’s their family and he’s made mistakes but they know he has a good heart for all his faults#they’ve had enough experience with his mistakes maybe to think that they know where his lines are and what he looks like after#even R2D2 is intently ride or die for Anakin and he’s also an astromech#whereas Threepio is a protocol droid who’s lived with a senator for five years#he’s designed and trained for communication#so where Artoo maybe doesn’t see#where obi-wan and Padmé don’t even think to look#Threepio sees that something in Anakin is fundamentally altered#the slightest changes in his expression#in his tone and his gait and his gestures#Anakin is carrying the weight of having gone much too far to turn back and I think that would#(and did because of Hayden’s amazing work)#affect the way he behaved the way he looked even the way moved#and where the ones who love him are looking at someone they love and would never even consider that this difference is Really Different#a protocol droid who knows him well can see that this is different than just exhaustion or annoyance or even rage#that’s despair#that’s grim and gruesome determination#that’s a man who has done something irrevocable and now has nothing left to do but stay the course
@artemisthehuntress hurting me personally