Eli, he/they

I'm not a bot, Tumblr just won't let me change my avatar. Genderqueer asexual from Nebraska.

[10memes]

[herpsandbirds]

Turkey Vulture (Cathartes aura) preening, family Cathartidae, order Cathartiformes, southern BC, Canada

photographs by Cat Curti

[transandrophobiatruther]

I am sooooo tired of seeing "actually this post is about women not trans men" slapped on to feminist posts and then when that is questioned or challenged, the response is "this is for women specifically because of the societal expectations placed on them."

I'm going to hold your hand as I say this to you. Those same expectations are placed on trans men. Trans men are also expected to be mothers and wives. Trans men also face misogyny and are harmed by it, in the same ways cisgender women are.

It reads like a lot of people think of trans men as Cis Dudes With Pussies when the vast majority of trans men are living (or have lived) many of the same experiences as cis women, and should be included in these conversations.

For example, if the conversation is about how young girls are brought up to believe the must be wives and mothers — many (most, even) trans men grew up with those same expectations! It is equally liberating for young trans men to realize they don't have to be mothers and wives as it is for cis women, with the only difference potentially being an additional gender affirming layer.

[busket]

they've been arguing about malgendering on twitter so here's the truth from me, the arbiter of truth (jk but ive been talking about malgendering long before it became a popular buzzword and heres my understanding of it)

malgendering is a form of transphobia wherein a transphobic person uses their victim's correct gender to harass or demean them. it is meant to be the inverse of misgendering, where a transphobe uses the victim's incorrect gender to harass or demean them.

misgendering towards trans women can be as simple as "youre a man." but malgendering is more insidious, like someone saying "you really are a girl" when she makes a mistake in order to insult her intelligence. the phrase "you really are a girl" is positive when removed from the context of the trans woman making a mistake and the transphobe's sarcastic tone that implies shes stupid in an misogynistic way.

if a trans man does something like standing up for himself against an unfair situation or asks for better accommodations/treatment, and a transphobe wants to use that to imply he is selfish and entitled, they might say "trans men really are men" which again, is a true statement on its own. but in the context of the situation, its clear the transphobe is using the stereotypical worst qualities of men to insult and undermine someone's very identity.

malgendering can be any severity of harm, just like misgendering. my mom slipping up in the first months of my transition and accidentally calling me "she", and a bigot shouting "YOURE A WOMAN YOULL NEVER BE A MAN" at me are both examples of misgendering, but one is much worse than the other and its the same with malgendering. being told "trans men are the men of the trans community" as an insult is annoying and rude but not a big deal. however, right now ICE is torturing trans men in concentration camps by forcing them to do pointless and grueling labor. and when they become exhausted, theyre told "I thought you were a man. if youre really a man this should be easy for you" these are both examples of malgendering. one is a microaggression, the other is literal torture.

malgendering happens equally to both trans men and trans women, its not something that is unique to anyone because it is a form of transphobia. the strategy is that if a transphobe tries to make a trans persons life as their true gender so miserable and unsafe, detransitioning seems like the safer and happier option. its psychological torment, moreso than the plain and obvious insult of intentional misgendering. so dont let it happen, call it out when you see it and dont be fooled by transphobes trying to erase the context and be like "what!! what i said was true!"

[spiderbitesandvampirevenom]

can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.

[moonshinemagpie]

researching the history of education in japan and learning that, pre–Meiji Restoration, peasants/commoners formed their own schools to become educated because it was the best way of fighting tax fraud.

That is, when an official told you, a rice farmer, that you owed more taxes than you really did, it was very useful if you were good enough at math to know he was lying (and could prove it) and if you were good enough at writing to write a letter to your government defending your case.

all of which is to say it's crazy that mega-corporations are now pushing education to be "what if you paid us whatever we tell you to for the rest of your life and never do math or write anything ever again"

[vixvigil]

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

[rosslynpaladin]

I need you young people to know it was almost never this hot when I was a child. Millennials and Gen Xers are all nostalgic and excited about summer because it was about ten to twenty degrees cooler to experience it back then!

I cannot express to you how FAST it has gone. I grew up in a world that does not exist now. We're starting on the path to reverse it, globally. You might not know how much solar has EXPLODED in the last decade or two. It's gone from a side thing, a weirdo novelty that was just Not Viable... to whole countries investing in infrastructure. but we have to keep fighting big oil and fascism everywhere we can in order to keep on this road to a new better less scorching burning earth.

But any time you wonder wtf the weather is doing- THIS IS NOT NORMAL, NO. THIS IS NOT WHAT IT WAS EVEN TWENTY YEARS AGO.

[identitty-dickruption]

every time I see someone from outside australia (or inside australia tbh) say “everything in australia wants to kill you lol” I want to scream. you are buying into colonial narratives! you are reinforcing the construction of the “aussie battler”! you are ignoring the way first nations people have lived with the land for centuries! you are participating in the homogenisation of australia in your belief that this is a land that needs to be tamed! shut up shut up shut up

[onlytiktoks]

[piedude]

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[jewish-joy]

#i love prayer plants but they're fussy so I don't keep them#can we have a picture op they're so pretty

Behold, Dorothea

(Naming my plant "Gift of God," and then giving her to a seminarian with just the explanation that it's a prayer plant? Okay, that's my bad.)

[jewish-joy]

I should also add- I ran into my rabbi and explained the situation. I then asked, earnestly, if there was a remedy. A mikveh of sorts, or a beit din, or something.

He turned to me, sighed, and said in a very deadpan tone-- "Plants don't have covenants, Joy,"

So Theodora's a free agent according to rabbinic opinion. I guess I'll permit her to be Roman Catholic.

[s-t-a-r-c-o]

im reading discworld and im on the third book and i only just realized they arent arranged like this

[pangur-and-grim]

we have to write poems in my creative writing certificate program, so I pieced something together from Belphie's medical reports

[pangur-and-grim]

my professor really liked this and said that it should be 'the nucleus of a chapbook' (so like 15-30 poems of the same theme that I would attempt to get published) but now I feel awkward because I think that she thinks HE DIED? but it turns out, everything will be alright! his heart recovered! the FIP meds are working!

[pangur-and-grim]

if I do make a chapbook, this will be the next page:

[pangur-and-grim]

and then this will be the page after that:

[pangur-and-grim]

I couldn't believe how fast he went from death's door to running and playing once we got the GS441525 into him. I am so incredibly grateful to everyone who's spent their time researching and legislating it!!

[pangur-and-grim]

Belphie is over two years old now, and sometimes when I look at him, I still think he lived.

[rosierugosa]

Some ASMRS bother me because the noise fucks with me, the opposite intended effect.

Others piss me off because I feel like I'm being condescended to. Tapping on shit with fingernails? Crinkling wrapping or packaging before opening a product? Just shake a rattle or jingle some keys, since you want to grab my attention like I'm a toddler

[kushblazer666]

araki in nebraska: fuuuuck dude what if there was an enemy

[kushblazer666]

araki in nebraska: fuuuuck dude what if there was an enemy

[beaft]

common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day

[beaft]

recent example. lady at my careers appointment had a post-it with her name on it stuck to the monitor, so i introduced myself by saying "hello, i'm eliot! you must be [name], it's nice to meet you!" and she stared at me as if i was the stupidest person alive and said icily, "yeah, i'm [name]. congratulations, you can read."

in bygone times this would have reduced me to a sort of quivering blancmange. thankfully i am now in a place where i was able to pull back, calmly evaluate this interaction, and say to myself "this woman should probably not be working in a customer-facing job"

[beaft]

important additions!!!!

[gideonisms]

I think it's so important and crucial for 20 year olds to witness older people who are genuinely bad at some aspects of being a person but are still living lives they find meaningful and enjoyable. Not just "oh I got married and you can too" but like. sometimes you cannot for the life of you finish college or find a good job or stay in a relationship or arrive to locations on time or whatever it is you think when you're 20 that you HAVE to be able to do. But you wind up finding a place in the world anyway. It happens!