My depression
Hi guys! This isn't something I really open up about a lot. I tend to let it get the better of me and shut myself alway, but I have depression! I first got diagnosed properly in October 2013 when I was struggling with life. Things like getting out of bed in the morning, not wanting to go to work and simply just not turning up, shutting myself off from my family, not eating properly. The list goes on. Although I was only diagnosed in 2013, I personally feel like it was an ongoing issue for most of my life. Starting back when I was around 7-8 when my little sister was born and my problems in school where really bad. My family noticed on a holiday to sunny Skegness that I wasn't really 'with them' - I was, just only in a physical way. Mentally I was away, lost, staring at the duck pond out side the caravan with my headphones in. My nanny asked me what I felt when I was staring, my answer - nothing. I didn't hear the music in my ears, I didn't even see what I was looking at. This worried my nanny and her and my mum said I was to go to the doctors. I put it off as long as possible until the October. The doctor prescribed me 10mg of citalopram once a day in the morning. Now that may not be a lot to some people and a lot of people may not think it makes a difference but to me, It really does! I've been silly, I've stopped taking my medication at times, for long periods, because I felt "better", "okay" like I didn't need it any more. But truth is, that was wrong. I only felt like that because of the medication, because I was in a good routine with it. To this day I still sit and stare at nothing, even with medication. Being in a working place freaks me out, makes me nervous, overwhelmed, agitated. Having good people in your life helps, people to talk to, just letting yourself have that day where you are angry at the world, get that cuddle or spend that day on your own, but never forget that there are people out there that can help you, that will listen and that will look after you no matter how much you push them away.












