Rossa reads

Rossa reads aka I read stuff and rant about it here. (Spoilers will be tagged / I'll warn you )

[brainstatic]

The densest people on the internet are the ones who say sci fi and fantasy are getting too political. Why can’t we go back to the good old days of The Twilight Zone, with its various episodes about mob mentality and the danger of mass paranoia that totally weren’t about the Red Scare. Or Star Wars and its genocidal empire of racially homogeneous Aryan men. Or Dune with its religious tribal peoples who live in a desert that contains the galaxy’s most valuable resource and the wars with the foreign colonizers, that was purely from Frank Herbert’s imagination. Can you imagine how much Star Trek would suck if it was packed to the brim with ham-fisted allegories of every societal issue of the 20th century. Not like all this modern ultra-political stuff, like a woman hero. 

[brainstatic]

[rossareads]

I am glad that I am not alone in the outrage brought by grown-ass-little-whining boys who keep saying that comics and/scifi is too political and it’s not for that it’s meant to be fun. No. I mean, yes, comics are also made to be a medium for stories that allowes more humor than the usual ones due to its own informality, because comics are a “new” genre in literature. Heck comics/graphic novels are not even yet considered literature but that’s so not the point. As always, I degress. It’s like you’ve never picked up one of them and really, actually, paid attention at what was in front of you. And I’m not talking about the trashy stuff - gods may bless the trashy scifi stuff found for 2€ in flea markets- I’m talking about the pillars on which the genre was built, that we still love today. I swear 3/4 of classical scifi novels are, at the core, some kind of discourse about how the british some white-ass empire fucked up and/or fell and know we are in a future, the future is mostly not so good and something ethical about humanity in things/beings considered others. To add to the very VERY well made point above: -Asimov: the empire fell, we’re kinda fucked, thankfully the cultural elites.  -Philip K. Dick: what even is reality, humans can transcend reality, probably a trip, not clear; also big-ass corporations/goverments strangling us. -Mary the queen Shelley: the real monster is un-humanity in the humans. -Pretty much anyone save for Mary Shelly from the 19th century: something something the Empire vs others, some racial bullshit about white men something something, maybe the Empire is falling and we are all gonna die. Science Fiction, from its very beginning ENGAGES with reality, the fear about uncertain times and how the society will evolve in the future. Yes, it can also totally disregards current events, but in doing so they 1-indirectly comment on the times they lived in or 2-they do not survive the test of times. this can be said for each and every genre in the history of humanity’s storitelling. No, srsly, think about it, how many of the GreatScienceFictionNovelsTM do not engage in some way with the direction humanity was heading towards when they were written and/or the core of what makes us humans, humans.  Name me one, I dare you. Then again I am running on 10 hours of sleep in i think three days working in a bookstore near christmas is no good for one’s health so maybe I AM forgetting something so yes, do lemme know.

[ceslatoil]

Back during the time when it was popular to bash Twilight for both legitimate reasons (Edward being borderline abusive to Bella, the whole child grooming plot point in Breaking Dawn, etc.) and not (REAL VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE THATS GAY), I saw this meme on Facebook where it was Louis and Lestat from Interview With The Vampire commenting on Edward’s sparkling and making fun of him for being gay. Like… Buddy My Guy. My Fair Dude. My Dear Sweet Homophobic Idiot. Not only are the Vampires in IWTV super duper gay, you’re lying to yourself if you think Lestat wouldn’t slam dunk his entire body into a tub of glitter on any given occasion. You Fool. You Imbecile.

[loislanespulitzerprize]

@wicked-felina

[cumaeansibyl]

Lestat: WHY DON’T WE GLITTER I WAS ROBBED

Louis: Does he ask our pity? He can walk in the sunlight, whereas we, foul creatures of darkness as we are, are forever barred from God’s kindly li –

Lestat, upending a pound of iridescent craft glitter on his head: SHUT UP LOUIS

[adventures-of-a-strange-mind]

Phrases and idioms that we still use, which were coined by William Shakespeare.

[pigeonstalking]

now this is legitimate shit you can attribute to good ole Billy Shakes. the man definitely had a way with phrases.

[terrypratchettparadise]

In fact, if there were such a thing as an international thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.

Terry Pratchett - Snuff (via terrypratchettparadise)

[savantasse]

You know that feeling when you finish watching a really good movie or reading a really good book and you are like…my body is here and now, but my mind is in 19th century Russia

[writing-prompt-s]

For lack of better candidates, someone’s parents jokingly named the Norse God Loki as the child’s godfather. He decides to take this seriously.

[necrowriter]

The whole thing got started because my dad was a professor of Norse Mythology.

When I was born he and mom had both just gotten jobs at a new university, which meant moving to a new town where my parents didn’t know anybody. That was my dad’s excuse for naming an ancient Scandinavian trickster god as my godfather.

He claimed it made sense at the time; apparently I was something of a trickstery child myself, always getting out of my playpen and into strange places, or making rude noises at hilariously inopportune times, or crying for no discernible reason and laughing for no better one. Plus, it was pretty soon apparent that I had inherited my grandmother’s bright red hair. So my dad liked to call me a child of Loki, which amused my mom. It didn’t amuse her so much when he told her dad, after he got a bit too pushy about me not having a godparent yet, that in fact I did have someone looking after me and his name was Loki Laufeyson.

Still, even my mom didn’t expect anything more to come of that than a bit of a row when my grandfather got home and looked a few things up, so they were both completely stunned when Loki himself showed up on the doorstep a few hours later.

I was much too young to remember that particular meeting, but from what I found out later, I can imagine something of how it went. Loki would have looked like a tall, lean man with hair like fire. Not red hair like mine, which isn’t even really red but orange-ish; this was hair in licks of red and orange and yellow, really like fire. He would have had eyes like fire opals, strange and glittering from one color to the next. And he would have had scars running along the tops of and bottoms of his lips, little rows of puncture marks, white and old but still clearly visible. But the rest of him would have looked handsome and charming, like a movie star, only better. He would have looked like what movie stars dreamed of looking like, and he would have flashed my mom a brilliant gleaming grin when she opened the door.

“Hello,” he said. “I’ve come to see the child.”

Keep reading

[cannot-kill-the-sun]

it may be the fact that im stressed as hell at the moment, but i kinda teared up at this 

[the-anchorless-moon]

@fialleril

[fialleril]

@nimblermortal

[rainbowgazes-archive]

“ understandable have a good day” is the perfect response to almost anything

[rossareads]

As someone who had worked in retail I can attest, it works, moreso on the phone. It’s the social cue to end a phone conversation, most will fall for it.

Under the cut there’s a honest-to-gods-real example of it working when by any rights it shouldn’t have. Under the cut because it turned out longer than I meant to.

It’s five minutes from closing time. First day of the sales, tension run high all shift long. Not another living soul in sight in the mall. So I make the most typical mistake of them all: I relax, thinking it is over. In that second, just like in a good horror story, the phone rings. Me, knowing I’ll regret this: “Good evening InsertHereFamousBrandofShoes shop! ^_^ How may I help you” Client, screaming : “The shoes I bought five years ago are broken now!” Me, starting counting up the cash, because, at that point, might as well: “Goodevening, ma’am, sorry to hear it ma’am. Problem is, BY LAW, we can give you only two years to change a faulty, NOT USED, product. If one were still in possession of the recepeit, that is. Also a thing dictated by law, ma’am”. I had been working there for ‘bout a year at that point. I knew the drill: when confronted with screams, remind the client some regulations are BY LAW. Not that they care. Client, still screaming: “I DON’T CARE! It’s your shoes, it’s your fault!” Me, finishing up with the cash and starting writing down the daily profit report on the computer, a numb-minding activity which sucked up at least five minutes by its own if one knew how to do it: “I see, ma’am, I am sorry, ma’am, unfortunately...” I am cut off, the client feels the need of screaming about how and when the shoes failed her. Something about the soles wearing down after five years of use. Imagine that. How bizarre.  She keeps screaming. I try to apologize again to regain the right to speak, I am denied to speak any longer than “Sorry”. (Pro Tip: When confronted with a screaming costumer, apologize. You haven’t to mean it. Gods know costumers aren’t often right in retail, but you let them feel superior, underestimate you. That’s how you survive with your sanity intact. Oh, allright. Somewhat intact.) I see that other shops in the mall closing downthe shutters. I glance at the clock: less than one minute to go. The client is still screaming in my ear whilst I finish up the daily report and start writing the same datas in an email for the central office. I send them and here’s closing time. I am officially off duty. Still on the phone tho. Me, grabbing the coat, my purse and the keys to close the shutters: “Ma’am, as I told you, after FIVE YEARS, without a receipt, I can’t help you”. I am turning off the lights with one hand and closing the coat with the other. Client: “I am going to write to InsertHereFamousBrandofShoes and I am going to complain, you hear me, COMPLAIN!! I am VERY upset by this!” Me, ready to shut this phone off if needs be, because I am hungry and tired and mainly ‘cause I am hungry: “Understandable, have a good day.” And here’s where we enter spooky territory, because the screaming client replies: “You too, dear” and hungs up. Swear to the gods. Fuckin’ retail, man.

[attrip]

[himejoshikomaeda]

this is god

[fungoidz-deactivated20200705]

this is what the earth looks like from space #flatearthtruth

[thewildonion]

Me when i wake up from my underground slumber

[rossareads]

My first thought was: where are the elephants. 

[gingerly-writing]

Prompt #541

“Surrender or die.” The hero forced their voice and pistol to stay steady. “Those are your only options.”

The villain flinched as the barrel pressed against their temple. “I will never surrender,” they breathed, “and you won’t kill me. So where does that leave us?”

[rossareads]

If fanfictions have taught me anything, you are one breath away from snogging your way into (possibly kinky) sex, with a side of angst.

[saphhoria]

Gothic Americana Ask Meme Send me an American Gothic and I’ll tell you a story made of true things. Remember if curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back.

[fortuneredding]

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. And then the murders began.

[sophygurl]

Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself. And then the murders began.

[a-little-squirrely-sunshine]

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And then the murders began.

[lottiethroughthelookingglass]

The phantom of the opera did exist. And then the murders begun.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

Maman died today. And then the murders began. 

[pleasecallmesurely]

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. And then the murders began.

[havvy-land]

In 1815 Monsieur Charles-Francois-Bienvenu Myriel was Bishop of Digne. And then the murders began.

[elucubrare]

Arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus ab oris Italiam, fato profugus, Laviniaque venit litora, multum ille et terris iactatus et alto vi superum saevae memorem Iunonis ob iram; multa quoque et bello passus, dum conderet urbem,               inferretque deos Latio, genus unde Latinum, Albanique patres, atque altae moenia Romae. Deinde homicidia coeperunt. 

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton. And then the murders began.

[lewdhat]

Last night I dreamed I went to Manderly again. And then the murders began.

[shredsandpatches]

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror  and a razor lay crossed. And then the murders began.

[lilliburlero]

It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me. And then the murders began.

[foofyschmoofer]

When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home. And then the murders began.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. And then the murders began.

[quantumaviator]

A young man stands in his bedroom. And then the murders began.

[valtharr]

Coraline discovered the door a little while after they moved into the house. And then the murders began.

[bubonickitten]

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were very normal, thank you very much. And then the murders began.

[perahn]

‘Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents,’ grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. And then the murders began.

[ketunhanska]

May 25th

Every year he forgot. Well, no. He never forgot. He just put the memories away, like old silverware that you didn’t want to tarnish. And every year they came back, sharp and sparkling, and stabbed him in the heart. And today, of all days…

Night Watch by Terry Pratchett

[mxmayor]

okay so everybody always talks about how amazing sam vimes is, and i love sam vimes to the bottom of my heart, but i do not see enough sybil appreciation on my dashboard.

sybil is a zarking goddess okay, and i will not hear a word against her

she calls the PATRICIAN of Ankh-Morpork ‘havelock’.

she actually just calls pretty much everybody by their first names

people who are not scared of vimes will listen to sybil any day

she’s perfectly level headed, until vimes calls her a duchess, when she will become the most overbearing, duchessy duchess the disc has ever known

her haggling for fat with the low king.

her being brought up to act small, so as to make everybody feel bigger. then using that to her advantage because i’m pretty sure she knows how amazing she is.

being so compassionate she can see the good in anybody without even trying, even nobby nobbs

being the first person in forever to actually see the potential in perpetually drunk, undernourished, broken sam vimes and taking away his alcohol and giving him food and being there so he can actually grow to be the sam vimes that we love.

being sybil ramkin, the dragon obsessed, charitable spinster who is pretty much the only person left in ankh-morpork who actually respects the night watch in guards guards, and seeing exploding swamp dragons as lovable pets.

singing opera so well she becomes an honorary dwarf

[did-you-know]

Source

[hellzabeth]

LEMME TELL YOU BITCHES ABOUT MY GIRL CARMILLA

FOLKS FORGET ABOUT CARMILLA AND HER WONDERFUL LOVE STORY JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T GET AS MUCH PUBLICITY AS OL’ DRAC BUT SHE’S AWESOME

SHE DOESN’T BURN IN SUNLIGHT BUT DOES WEAKEN CONSIDERABLY TO THE POINT OF FAINTING AND NEVER WAKES UP BEFORE NOON (MY SPIRIT MONSTER IS CARMILLA YO) AND WHEN SHE FEEDS FROM LAURA IT’S ALWAYS FROM HER LEFT BREAST. THAT’S STRAIGHT UP VICTORIAN EROTICA YO. SHE CAN TRANSFORM INTO A CAT AND INTO FOG, SIMILAR TO DRAC, AND HAS THIS LONG, BEAUTIFUL DARK HAIR.

YOU CAN READ THE WHOLE THING ONLINE IT’S OUT OF COPYRIGHT AND STUFF BUT HOLY SHIT A STORY ABOUT WOMEN IN THE 1800S THAT PASSES THE BECHDEL TEST WHAT????

GO. READ IT. IT’LL TAKE YOU BARELY AN HOUR AT MOST.

[aviofavalon]

holy shit i am so reading this wtf

[whmsic0tt]

is this where hussies going with kanaya

[vivziepop]

me gusta this fact.

[marzipanandminutiae]

HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES PEOPLE

THERE’S A WEB SERIES

CARMILLA: NOW WITH 100% LESS GROSS PATHOLOGIZATION OF FEMALE SEXUALITY IN GENERAL AND SAPPHISM IN PARTICULAR. AND 100% MORE UNIVERSITIES STRAIGHT OUT OF NIGHT VALE EXCEPT IN AUSTRIA.

THE LADY-LOVING IS CANON. THE FEMALE CHARACTERS ARE STRONG.THE NON-BINARY CHARACTER IS PRESENT AND BADASS.

HERE’S EPISODE 1 OF 36 IT’S LIKE TWO HOURS ALL TOLD GO WATCH IT

[hotladypants]

trivia: this novella pimp post was in our original pitch doc

[sea-change]

Lothórien fools us to some extent, by appearing to awe and tame Boromir - though it is never said that it has - and the Great River fools us too. The Fellowship appears to be sliding united along its current to a single end. But you always have to watch Tolkien with water. He never uses it unmeaningfully. Pools and lakes mirror stars, and hold hidden things. This Anduin has contrasting banks and, moreover, reeks of history. In a way it is history, and the Fellowship is going with its current, to break up in confusion at the falls of Rauros. It is worth pointing out that when Aragorn later uses the same river, he comes up it, against the current, changing a course of events that seems inevitable.

Diana Wynne Jones, “The Shape of the Narrative in The Lord of the Rings,” Reflections

marked down in my copy due to my own obsessions with bodies of water and the weight of history both, but shared to tumblr more with the last sentence about aragorn and the people who will love it in mind.

(via sea-change)

[chrisriddellblog]

Good Omens.

[the-bookshop]