Werido in the making

[rougerave]

Picture this: Jason Todd, 15 year old 4 foot something, I'll bit your knee caps and you'll thank me, street rat to Jason Todd, 22 year old 6'7, I'm the person under the boogie mans' bed, brick shit house screaming bloody murder when he sees a cockroach because he knows those things do not die.

Jason: They live to spit the devil himself.

Dick: ........

[rougerave]

I've been seeing this everywhere.

Bruce as a teen mom to Dick, but - and hear me out here - what if their dynamic was more sibling based.

They're only ten maybe fifteen years apart right? So, I feel like Dick would be like the sibling that your parents had 15 years after you were born and you honestly don't know what to do with.

Bruce: Um...You want a beer?

Dick: *Smiling like the little gremlin he is.*

Alfred: He's four! (He's eight)

Bruce: I don't know! What am I supposed to do with him?!

The amount of blackmail they have on each other is truly astounding, and the banter is that of siblings that *hate* each other.

In an interview after Jason got adopted, Bruce corrected the host by saying that, "No I don't have two kids. I have a younger brother and a kid. It's basically the same thing but the wording counts."

All the batkids from that moment forth had an Uncle Dick.

Dick to Jason: Don't tell your dad (He's climbing out the window with a concussion).

Jason: My silence comes at a price Uncle D.

Dick: Three books and ice cream.

Bruce: *Taking pictures from the ground of Dick half hanging out the window* Idiot.

[rougerave]

I think it's fairly common knowledge the Alfred Pennyworth has some sort of background with Mi6, the Queens guard or WW2. I mean no old man has the type of precision with a gun unless you were trained, and no one is that okay with treating server injuries that quickly and calmly.

With this being said I think it would be pretty funny if all the batkids just dropped the mantle around 18 and just disappeared only to come back from military tour two years later with a new batch of trauma and new and improved ways to give their father pre-mature gray hairs by joining some form of government secret service.

Take Dick for example. He joined the police force at some point (cannon), but like what if he move on the be an FBI agent. It would be so funny to see Bruce try to persuade Dick by saying that he'll retire the bat. (Dick would laugh in his face for a period of three hours.)

This would then establish a sort of tradition with all his kids, much to his dismay and Alfred's endless joy (and boundless amusement).

Like Jason, fresh from League training, joins the army, finishes his tour, goes to England and joins the Mi6 and then comes home only to see his dad's reaction. (Bruce's reaction to Dick joining the FBI was a constant source of amusement for him. And he has to make sure he helps in the campaign to get Bruce to retire the bat early.)

Tim joins the CIA. ( I feel this one is self explanatory when it come to Tim.)

Cass and Steph go the Australia and join ASIS (Australian Secret Intelligence Service).

Duke joins Jason in England but he joins Mi5.

Damian goes to Israel and joins Mossad (Foreign Intelligence and Special Operations).

By the time Damian leaves the nest, Bruce has salt and pepper hair at 54 from the stress and has officially retired from the bat.

Alfred is eternally grateful that his 20 year plan has worked, and that he now has people to go the the open field and shot cans with twice a month. (It turns into a competition that Alfred always wins even when his age starts to catch up and he starts to lose his site.)

[rougerave]

Jason Todd is Penelope Featherington. Try and convince me otherwise.

[rougerave]

Random post:

My sister and I were just casually listening to Disney songs coz why not. So Simba's " Just can't wait to be King", comes on and she goes, "You know what would be crazy?",

and I ask 'what' just to entertain her and she goes, "Plot twist: What if Scar actually killed Mufasa because Simba is actually his son."

I've sat on my bed for the past half hour just thinking about this one concept.

[rougerave]

This is taken from two prompts that I saw from @bruciemilf.

The first prompt was that Martha Wayne was Russian and the second prompt was that Thomas Wayne was Texan.

If we were to combine the two prompts, we would end up with a very sassy, very sarcastic Russian Texan Bruce Wayne. This man would be unstoppable. No one gets to pull one over Bruce in meetings at WE.

He has the seriousness of his mother, business savey, smile of a predator, eyes sharp and tongue sharper as he cussed at board members in Russian, accent and pronounation perfection galore.

That ability to annoy particularly slizly members with that condescending cherry smile of his father. "Bless your heart, you're just a darling," accent thick smile sunny.

But he is also the product of Alfred Pennyworths proper British mannerisms. Sarcastic remarks are free, polite conversation reserved for family and close friends, raised eyebrow that gets his kids nervous.

But one thing that he got that makes him stand out as a parent is the continuous soft but stern nurturing ways that he gets from all three of his parents. This is why the Wayne kids aren't spoiled brats. He is not afraid to lecture them in Russian in public, they are very quickly humbled with that condescending smile and they are never afraid to get advise, because it will come in the form of politeness and the respect of an equal.

This man would be unstoppable honestly.

[rougerave]

Hear me out. So Dick and Jason have always known languages. Dick from his time traveling with the circus and Jason from his time sneaking into the library and devouring all types of books when he was still on the streets.

And because of this, they could connect more easily due to their shared love of language. (Cannon can kiss my ass thank you very much.)

They made it a point to learn new languages together, so much so that they even passed Bruce in the number of languages they knew and spoke.

This is the driving factor that brings them close when Jason comes from the whole dead and resurrected drama.

The problem comes that they think everyone speaks the same languages. Like they'll be speaking English one minute then the switch it up to Swahili because they forgot a word in English and then carry on speaking in a different language until they forget a word again and change languages.

Bruce is the only one who can mildly keep up with them, but other than that his completely lost because of the shear speed the switch up the language.

It gets irritating when they're all at the dinner table and the two oldest forget the names of simple things. Like salt.

"Hey Demon spar. Pass the *snaps fingers as he tries to remember the name* the 鹽 (jim4) [Cantonese]."

And poor Damian is so lost so he looks to Dick and Dick goes "άλας (álas) [Greek]" as if that's any better. And the poor baby is just so confused, so he looks to his baba because his baba should know but his baba also looks confused. And Alfred, bless his soul knows Greek so he goes, "The salt Master Damian. Master Jason is asking for the salt."

And the whole table is also very confused and irritated by this whole exchange.

When the eldest two argue, it's explosive and physical and confusing because of the mess of languages, and the only time you hear a spark of English is when one has a black eye and the other has a nose bleed and their both laying on their backs and the only words exchanged is, "Fuck you dickface." and, "Love you too Jay."

They hug it out then throw the middle finger over their backs, limp out the room and opposite ways of the hallway.

All this happens in the full view of the family and nobody asks what words were exchanged, nobody asks what they were fighting about, they just sit shell shocked, each and everytime.

Except Bruce, who gets majority of what was said. He sits with his head in his hands and let's out a dispointed sigh. "All this ruckes because of cake." He stands so he can go call his therapist (Clark).

[rougerave]

Like all Arab mothers Taila al Ghul wears sandals for one purpose and one purpose only.

It is the ultimate weapon of discipline. It flies at speeds that go upto 380 k/h. Easy to put on and very easy to take off to hit her boys.

Jason and Damian grew to fear the sound of sandals.

They didn't clean their rooms; hight speed sandal to the back of their heads.

Half assing training; sandal in the face.

Rushing thought prayers; oh is dear, is that shoe flying.

Stuffing food down their throats; that's a very nice look bruise at the back of your head there boys.

And you best believe that when Jason and Damian have kids of their own, Talia would buy sandals for them.

[rougerave]

People underestimate how intimidating Dick Grayson can be. No, no how Richard John Grayson can be.

You know how there is a difference between Batman and Bruce Wayne. Yeah that's Dick Grayson and Richard John Grayson.

Listen Dick is our fun loving, has no fashion sense, pun loving, mostly traumatized, insanely flexible (seriously the dudes an elastic), friendly neighbourhood Nightwing.

This is the dude you go to for consulting and gives you a lollipop after he gives you very questionable advice that strangely works. His the dude that blinds the room in a rainbow bedazzled skin tight jump suit because he feels like it.

Richard, is the opposite. He is the result of oppressed emotions, no sleep, no shits left to give and someone after his family.

Richard is a wall. A wall of fire and undissolving ice. He is the epitome of imperturbable tranquility. Emotionless. Uncaring. He is the type to commit five degree murder in front of Bruce and not break eye contact. He is the fully developed child that wanted to kill Tony Zocco.

He is a burning furnace of razor sharp ice. He is the type to make you share your deepest secrets with just one look.

He was the last face Joker saw when he killed Jason. And there is a reason he is hidden.

[rougerave]

Hear me out, okay. Damian is a very casual person. Like he knows slang and swears like a sailor (Jason's fault) and knows memes like he knows his colour pallet, but not in English.

You can't tell me that the first language Talia spoke to Damian was English. No you fool! It was Arabic, then Chinese, then Persian before English.

Because his whole life was surrounded by these three languages, he learned to have more casual conversations in them.

The only reason he speaks so formally in English is because Jason would read him classical literature, and that's the problem. Classical literature if formal and old. Jason never bothered to talk to Damian in English for him to know how to converse in casual conversation, and this being the case Damian grew up thinking this is how people talk.

This being said this is the only reason the family knows Arabic and Persian (they all knew Chinese). The only way to have a casual conversation with him is to talk to him in these languages, and this is how the family leard that Damian is a comedian. Like he can make Bruce and Alfred belly laugh at the most inane, sexually explicit and cras things at the drop of a hat (just like Jason).

He is the only one rivaling Jason in the swear jar, Dick was so shocked he actually cried. This gets worse when he hits 19.

Like that one time he and Tim were walking to the office when they were approached by paparazzi. Like Damian went from cussing their ancestors to dissing their appearance, to saying Joker thinks their joke all in one breath, all with a straight face that it had his 26 year old brother rolling on the floor. Bruce seeing this from the lobby - Where he was talking to a very important ambassador-, comes out to drag both of them inside by their ears. Damian is still going off and Tim is still clutching his stomach.

And the paparazzi is so confused because one: they know Damian to be a very formal young man, if not a little dry and sarcastic, and two: They didn't understand shit. This whole thing has Gotham shocked. Jason and Talia have never been so proud.

[rougerave]

"Bruce Wayne can't cook to save his life." That's a load of bullshit. Listen Bruce can cook, he just doesn't have the time for it, and the fact that he hardly passes as functional human being.

You can't tell me that in all his traveling he hasn't picked up something. If he can remember miniature details for a case that was three years ago, he can remember recipes.

Listen other than Alfred, Martha Wayne was the only person who knew how to cook. Martha wasn't going to let her son become like his father it that department. She and Alfred taught Bruce everything from the correct utensils to how to properly spice meat, "BBQ spice is not for chicken Master Bruce, have some class."

That was one thing Alfred and Bruce still kept doing after his parents died, and because of this he becomes an amazing cook.

When he meant Taila, trust and believe that she went Gordon Ramsey on his ass when she taught him how to cook the meals of her homeland (that's when he fell in love with her. I refuse to believe anything else on this matter), and obviously as he traveled he gained more knowledge on different dishes. Most from his masters and some from random old ladies that he came across.

The problem comes when he desides to take over the company and become the cities regular furry problem. He just doesn't have time and this leads to his kids never finding out. They grow up knowing that Alfred cooks. They also don't know that on rare occasion that Bruce is free he would sneek into their apartments and make food that can be frozen and reheated, because just like him, his kids can hardly pass as functional.

And that's how Jason found him, one random Tuesday. There his father was, floating around in a black AC/DC t-shirt, gray slacks, sparkly pink crocs(Dick), Jason's apron (because Jason is the only kid that knows how to cook) and the Rolling Stones playing form a speaker that was definitely Tim's. Bruce only glances at him before speaking, "Go change, wash your hands, then come cut the carrots." then goes to drain the pasta, and because Jason is to stunned to speak he goes without a word.

Jason doesn't bring it up, so Bruce won't bring it up.

One thing he does do every night is make Damian, Duke, Tim and Steph's school lunch. He strongly objects to the idea of his babies eating Gotham Academy/University powder egg shit. No sir.

That's how the family found out. That was funny.

"I once saw you put salt and vinegar Lay's in bread."

"Not my finest moment."

They tell Dick. He laughs in their face until he sees his dad in his kitchen cutting onions without flinching or wiping his eyes.

"You have no soul."

"Yes I don't. Wash your hand and cut that baby marrow."

"But I don't like baby marrow." he complained as he washed his hands.

"I have no soul, right?"

Dick sticks out his tongue, he get whacked by a wooden spoon.

[rougerave]

Myth

(Ages are not conical, so just go with it, but that’s also the power of fanfiction.)

---

Myth – a traditional story, especially one concerning the early history of a people or explaining a natural or social phenomenon, and typically involving supernatural beings or events – that’s what he is, and he liked it.

No, he loved it. For someone who lived his whole life in the spotlight, it makes sense as to why he actively tries to hide. He hides from the press, he hides from friends and family, and especially from the hero community.

See, here’s the thing; he doesn’t necessarily exist. To the hero community that is. He did his time as Robin and then travelled as a nameless hero. Came back to Gotham with a new name but strictly stayed in the shadows. People sort of knew of his existence, but since he didn’t show his face, people just assumed he was a spook.

Bruce also liked to keep a lot of secrets from the JL, so it made it easier to stay hidden, but that didn’t necessarily mean that they didn’t know about him. He has done missions for the JL, but it was those intel missions that needed to be extra secret. He never once showed his face to the Justice League, and he liked it like that.

So you can imagine his irritation when Bruce called him. No, not Bruce, Batman.

“It’s only Monday B and I’m not in the mood, so whatever it is, no.” He didn’t even give Bruce a chance to speak.

“I wouldn’t have called if I didn’t think it was important. Dick has a cold and a bullet wound that he tried to hide, you know how it is. The girls and Duke are in deep cover, Jason is off world, Damian would kill them on sight just for them looking at him, plus his working with the Titans, and I obviously can’t go. I have other missions.”

“What’s the mission?” He asked just as he felt a small tug on his pants. When he looked down, he saw that it was his little two year old daughter. Tim smiled, before he picked her up, and sat her on his lap. She rested her head on his chest then she fell asleep.

Bruce took off his crawl so he could rub his face. “Intel mission.”

“Don’t you have a special team for this type of stuff? Oh wait you do. The YJ!” Tim whisper yelled so that he didn’t wake Nalaya up, because God help them all if she wakes up when she’s sick.

“You know as well as I do why we can’t just put them on this mission without Dick. As much as I want to trust them, I can’t, not yet anyways. I gave them a chance, they messed it up. They still need to prove themselves to me before I can let them go without Wing.”

“So essentially, I’m babysitting a group of young adults that are as reckless as toddlers on a sugar rush. How urgent is the mission?”

“Toddlers on a sugar rush? Wait - Tim did you get Nalaya on a sugar rush?” The amusement in Bruces’ voice was clear as day. Tim went pink.

“Answer the question B. How urgent is the mission?” Tim asked as he cleared his throat.

“Three days.”

“No.”

“Tim please. You’re my best bet at the moment.”

“If you want me to go so badly, push it for a week and a half. Mari is in New York for fashion week and can’t afford to look after a sick toddler. Both would need her full attention, hence why I am working from home. Mari is only gonna be home next Wednesday because she wants to visit her parents. Next week Wednesday. Deal?”

“Fine, thank you. I’ll see you at 2200h Wednesday at the Young Justice headquarters.” Then with no further ceremony, the Bat signed off.

Tim rolled his eyes. “Your grandfather is a pain in my butt.” Then he stood up carefully as to not wake up his kid. “Let’s get you to bed princess.”

---

They have all heard of myths and legends. Different kinds, from different communities, friends and family and especially in their line of work. Some were just for scares and for fun, most where true when it came to working with magic, and some where made up to throw people of their game.

Red Robin was one of those myths that the Bat-clan say to throw them off their game, or so they thought.

Imagine walking into their base of operations and seeing said myth talking casually with the big bad Bat, holding a coffee cup as if they were old friends, which couldn’t be right seeing as Red Robin looked younger then the Bat. A year or two younger than them actually. What the fuck.

When the two bats noticed the team they strained up and went blank faced. “Team meet the myth himself Red Robin. He will be helping you with this intel mission only. Double R the Young Justice team. You are to retrieve intel only. An over view of the mission has been sent to you. You leave in fifteen minutes.” He then turned away to the zeta tube, but before he left he turned his head to Red Robin. “Do not, and I mean do not pull that stunt you did with the LOA bases.”

“Such little faith. I won’t B. I promise.”

Batman raised his eyebrow. “LB would kill me if I did, so I won’t.” Batman nodded his head, then turned around and walked to the tubes.

There was a tense silence before RR broke it. “I’ll meet you in the hanger. I have to go and cuss out Nightwing.” He said as he turned to walk to the direction of the hanger.”

“Why would you want to cuss out Nightwing?” Wally asked.

“Because my brother is an idiot, and he is very lucky I moved out or I would have done more than cuss him out.” He said not stopping and not turning around.

“Is it me or did today go from tense to super weird in a total of five minutes?”

“It’s not only you Wally. Never mind that. We have a mission to complete. Let’s go team.”

---

“What happened with the LOA bases?” Conner asked to fill the silence.

Red Robin stopped typing to look Conner straight in the eye. A chill went the young supers spin when double R smirked.

“There is a reason Ra’s al Ghul is afraid of me. I blew up most of his bases because he had something of mine. I blew six more out of pure spit.”

The team stayed quite for the rest of the trip.

---

Six hours, one failed mission and a portal to somewhere, the team stood in the middle of a field, being glared down by Red Robin.

“What in the ever loving fuck was that?!”

They were silent, and that only made him more angry and frustrated.

It was a simple mission. Get a hard-drive that had blueprints to a machine that Luthor was building for the Light and get out, undetected and unharmed. The shitshow that happened is what he was trying to comprehend. How are they this bad or where they just being cocky and wanting to show off. This mission could be long over if they had followed his plan.

“I ask again. What the fuck happened?” His tone went from deadly shouting to deadly calm in two seconds flat, it made shivers run up his spin.

“What is your deal? We only messed up a little, but we got the information. Mission complete. No need to be all bitchy.” Conner said, getting tired of this dudes attitude.

Tim let out a dark chuckle. He did not just say that to his face when he was the main cause of this failed mission.

“My deal. Here’s my deal. You, along with your team had one simple task to do. Scout ahead and report to me. I would be the one to infiltrate the base and get the information. My problem started when you disobeyed a direct order to not engaging. At. All. But no, that was such a hard job. By you not staying put, you got your team injured. Then you went off by switching off your coms, ignoring everyone, which by the way got us portaled to Ice land. Your biggest flop so far was getting the incorrect data. So please, Superboy, tell me I’m wrong.”

It was silent. “That’s what I thought. Now, you will listen carefully. You are to dismantle every tracking, communication, and electronic device on you.”

“Why?” Wrong question from Artemis.

“Why? Why is because your egotistical teammate messed up the mission against his evil surrogate father, and I for one don’t want to be hunted by that madman. So my suggestion is do it yourself, before I turn every electronic device on you into a taser.”

That’s what he thought. Once changed in some casual clothing, he led the way a modest looking house. Tim pulled out a key and opened the door very slowly. Once fully open, a knife is thrown in his direction. He catches it without blinking, but that just means his more sceptical to go inside. The team just stares at his in shock. What the hell.

“I did say I was sorry.” He shouted into the house. A dino sippy cup was thrown at him. He ducks, the person behind him does not. Artemis now has a very pretty bruise on her forehead. (Wally has a picture.)

Tim motions them inside. He led them into a different room and there they are met with a soul wittering glare that put Batman’s glare to shame. They have never felt more scared in their lives than in that moment. Tim didn’t look fazed. He just lifted his brow. “I did say I was sorry.”

“One day I hope you’ll spontaneously combust.” The women said.

“And I wait for the day your glare leaves our kid without a father. Meet the team. The real source of your anger.” He said in a deadpanned voice.

The women huffed. “No, no. You’re the source of my anger. Bruce snitched. Anyways, nice to meet you all.” After getting well acquainted with this lioness of a women called Marinette and the owner of the throw dino sippy cup, Nalaya, Marinette lead them an underground hid out, while Tim went to put his little girl to bed. He joins them a few minutes later.

“So,” Marinette said from in front of the huge monitor where she was setting up a call. “who wants to tell the big bad bat what happened.” The team goes brick still, faces pale. “I mean it’s only fair you do the report.” Tim chokes on a laugh from where he sits typing in coordinates in front of another screen. Wally faints in that moment. “That’s what I thought.” Over confindent idiots, with their big egos. “Though I shouldn’t be surprised that they’re afraid of the furry.” Tim snorts.

“God forbid he hears you say that. What then?”

“I take your challenge.” The team still frozen to their spots watch in silence. Wally still out cold. The call is accepted in that moment. “Hello you giant furry.” She says it in a flat voice that had a bit of mirth and a bit of offence. Batman makes a strangled sound and Tim dies of laughter. Bruce gathers himself before he answers.

“Ladybird.” Bruce said stiffly.

“No need to be so formal B. I saw your latest gala suit by the way. It was very… I think it is best not to say.” The smirk on her lips and the snickering form Tim was turning him redder by the second. “Send my regards to Alfie.” She said as she got up, kissed Tim’s cheek and waved the team goodbye. Just like that she was gone.

Tim sat in her vacant set. Bruce turned his full attention the still frozen team. “What happened?” Tone low and icy.

“It’s in the report I sent you B. I’ll finish up the mission by 1am. The usual drill. I’m sending the team to the watchtower, they can fill you in on parts I was not present for. See you later.” And before Batman could answer, he dropped the call.

“Did you just drop the call on Batman?” Artemis asked as she finally came out of her daze.

“No I dropped the call on my father. Big difference. The zeta is ready by the way.” Tim said as he pointed to the zeta tube.

As the team walked out and Wally finally waking up, Tim called, “FYI if you tell anyone about what you saw today that wasn’t part of the mission, I will make good on my promise.” He finished with a smirk that promised pain and misfortune. The team nodded quickly and rushed into the tube.

Man was it fun to be a myth.

[rougerave]

I feel like the only reason Jason hates going to galas is because of the fucking ridiculous clothes people wear. Like when he was still living in Crime Ally and the streets he didn't care for in because there were much more important things to worry about about, but like as soon as he met Dick everything changed.

Like he'll be in the library and then this glittery, bright neon green abomination enters and his like, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?! WHAT HELL DID YOU ESCAPE TO DISGRACE US WITH THIS ABOMINATION YOU CALL CLOTHES?!" and Dick just looks so stunned and so shocked he stands there for hours contemplating his life choices.

I feel like when he comes back from death it's worse, because his seen good, respectable, practical fashion, but then he comes to the Wayne Gala and he sees all this rubbish that people call clothes and he goes off. Like:

Jason: Hello -random socalite-. I ask this in the nicest way possible. What possessed you to wear whatever hellish garment you are wearing? Did you think it was appealing? Do you feel good about burning our eyes with this atrocity you call a dress?

And just turns away leaving a stunned and offended socalite.

Bruce also learned to always ask Alfred if could pick out suits for meetings and galas because of the one time Jason said he looked and emo kid that was scribbled by a four year old using a black crayon. He still hasn't recovered and Dick still won't go into the manor without calling Tim or Damian to ask if what his wearing is okay, especially if he knows Jason will also be there.

At one point Jason was dosed on truth serum and was in the presence on the JL and just went off. That day the mightiest heros shead tears. Nobody brings it up.

[rougerave]

Jasonette Pirate AUs

The race:

“Gather ‘round one and all, to watch the defeat of the Miracle pirates. Do you swear to lose honorably?” The mock in his voice and mirth in his eye was clear as day. His crew roared with laughter. She rolled her eyes playfully.

“Don’t get too cocky Jay. We don’t want another overboard situation, now do we?” She said with the same mock and mirth. Her crew laughed and oh-ed.

“Alright, alright ya scaly wags. Today we determine who the best crew is.” The towns’ people and the pirates all clapped and shouted in excitement at the town mayor’s announcement. “On my left we have the Miracle crew and their captain, Captain Marinette Todd,” the crowd cheered loudly, “and on my right I have the Red Hood crew and their captain, Captain Jason Todd.” And again the crowd cheered loudly. “The task is simple. You must race towards the reef and capture the blue flag, without touching the cones that surround it. As usual the first one back wins, but there is a catch.” Oh-s were heard in crowd. “No captains aloud.”  That caused an uproar from both parties. “First mates will be captains for this race, so please captains. Hand the wheels to your first mates.”

The captains turned to their first mates. “Don’t kill my ship.” Then they walked off their ships.

“Aye cap.” They replied, before Nino, - Marinette’s first mate - turned to Roy – Jayson’s first mate- with a smirk. “May the best mate win.”

“I hope you know how to lose well, but yes, may the best mate win.” Roy said with a smirk.

“His going to kill my ship. I’m gonna be a captain with no ship.” Jason whispered in despair to his wife as they stood on the dock with the mayor. Marinette chuckled as she rubbed his back in comfort.

“Oh come on love, it can’t be that bad.”

“I know da lad. Roy should have nodded his head and walked away. No he had to intimidate Nino.” Mari chuckled at his despair.

“Anchors up.” The mayor said as the anchors were pulled back into the ships. “Ready,” Orders could be heard to set the sail and to ready the ship. “Set,” The ship flags flew to the air. “SAIL!” and they were off.

--

Thirty minutes, two sails torn, lots of arrows shot, a whole lot of swearing, thirty gold coins lost, thirty gold coins earned, and one blue flag captured, later, the race had come to a close with the Miracle pirates coming out victorious, the two captains found themselves on a cliff staring at the night sky, while their crews and the towns people hit the local pub. The first sense of peace since this morning.

“I must confess. I asked the mayor to change the race.” Marinette said, breaking the silence.

“Now why would ya do that?” He asked as he turned to face her.

“A test of sorts. I can’t sail with a babe on the way, hence the test now.”

“Aye that makes-“ He stopped mid-sentence as he registered the words that were spoken moments ago. “A babe. We’re having a babe.” He said in shock, before pulling her into a hug.

“Yeah, we’re having a babe.” She said into the hug. Oh god their going to be parents. Jason pulled away to kiss her. A sweet love filled kiss, before pulling away to rest their foreheads together.

“Oh god, Roy’s going to crash my ship. I should put Cass in charge.”

Marinette laughed and swat his hand before snuggling in the crock of his neck, enjoying the peace while it lasted. After all, they had one of their biggest adventures coming up.

[rougerave]

I have this sudden urge to write a jasonette fic, class salt. Like Marinette and Jason would be having a conversation outside and the class comes barging into their conversation, so they just switch the language and start talking in Russian.

But alas I'm to lazy to write it, and school takes my time.

Free to add on to this or steel the idea 🙃🙂

[rougerave]

Mafia Au

He was young when he became a father. A decent age young, he was nineteen. So decent. But being a young father didn’t scare him. What scared him was that he had to do it alone. When his girlfriend died during childbirth, he felt what being alone was for the first time. Then he remembered that he wasn’t alone. He had his father, and his best friend and the whole community, well more like gang. Wait no, his father’s empire, the Hood Mafia. So no he wasn’t alone, just stressed.

When his little girl was born, his father was giving him control of the gang. They had talked that as soon as he got his degree, he would take over the mafia. He was home schooled so he had the opportunity to finish school early. His daughter was relatively easy to manage. It only started going downhill when she turned six.

As soon as she learnt how to climb, hide and seek got a whole lot harder. Glitter meant you had to make sure you weren’t the next victim of the next prank, but pranks were usually pulled on the newer recruits. God help them all when the first of October hit. No one was safe, even his dad, who by the way, lived on another continent. But otherwise, she was she was a bundle of joy really.

But all this doesn’t help his nerves when it comes to this talk. No not the talktm, but a talk. He shouldn’t be nerves talking to his thriteen year old daughter about this. I mean he was the Red Hood, ruthless mafia leader, who inspires fear to everyone that get on his bad side. This should be easy.

“Jay as your best friend, it’s my job to punch you in the face to tell you to calm down, but as your right hand it’s my job to tell you that you have to do it or else I will. You pick.” Roy said with a hand on his shoulder.

Jason looked up from his hands to his best friend, then took a calming breath before he nodded his head. He was ready. Just as he was about to pick up his phone to text his daughter to come to the kitchen, Marinette rushed in with a water-balloon in her hand and super glue in the other. She look around before she ducked into the pantry. The two adults looked at each other confused. Just then her best friend/brother (he was adopted after an incident with his family), Nino, rushed in covered in water, glitter, and glue. The two adults looked at him wide eyed.

“Were. Is. She?” His voice was low and angry. The adults looked at each other before they pointed to the pantry. One thing about Nino, is that you don’t cross him when his angry. He walked over and in a few seconds there was sounds of screaming, a bang, crash, and then silence. Absolute silence. They went to go investigate.

When they opened the pantry door, it looked like a bomb had hit, both kids laying on the floor breathing heavily, tomato paste everywhere.

“Okay go clean up both of you, then meet us in the car. We’re going to base.” Then he and Roy left.

“I don’t know what scares me more. The fact that she’s willing to get Nino angry or the fact that she has glitter and glue with her.” Roy said once they sat in the car.

Jason snorted. “I got a call for my dad this morning. Apparently sixty boxes were delivered to him. He now has two thousand hot pink Hawaiian shirts. I didn’t know if I should laugh or be concerned that she found his location. I settled for an eye roll because I was busy with an interrogation.”

“So babu (grandpa) liked my ‘gift’.” Mari asked as she got in the car.

“Ndio, aliipenda, but you should stop hacking him. Let him enjoy his retirement please. His gonna have a heart attack before seventy.”[Yeah, he loved it.]

“Kwa nini tunaenda msingi?” Nino asked. He looks calmer now, looking out the window to avoid eye contact with Mari, afraid he might laugh when his supposed to angry at her. [Why are we going to base?]

“We need to have a talk.”

--

“So, I wanted to ask, but you don’t have to give me your answer now or today, but do you want to take over the gang when you hit twenty, or would you rather not? Remember you can answer no. It’s okay to not want to take over.”

“And who would take over if I don’t? Did you think this through? Dad I’m your only heir, and do really think that I would pass out the chance to be the first female mafia boss in our family?”

“So that’s a yes then?”

“Obviously.”

“See, you had nothing to worry about Jay.”

“You were gonna punch me if I didn’t talk to her. I had every right to be worried! You’re built like a tank! What do you go to the gym every day?!”

“You’re one to talk.” Roy huffed.

“Hey Nino, is it me, or is the sexual tension in here suffocating?” Mari asked whispering to her friend, so that the two bickering adults didn’t hear them.

“It’s the sexual tension. We should go. Our tutor is about to arrive.” Nino replied, while backing out slowly. Mari nodded, following him out the door.

They slammed it shut.

“We should tell them.” Roy said once the door was closed.

“Nah. Let them figure it out. Besides, we don’t want to break them.” Jason said, smirking in the direction of the door.

Roy snorted.

--

Two years later.

“We’ll be back in a few days. All you’re doing is making sure you go to that meeting on my behalf and to not start a war. Can I trust you to do that?” Jason said from the other end of the line.

“Sure. I have babu on speed dial just in case I need advice and I can’t reach you.”

“You also have Nino. He is your right hand and your ndugu [brother]. Make sure his opinions are heard, okay.”

“I know and I will. Be safe, love you.”

“And I you. Be safe, oh and one more thing. If you have to threaten someone and it gets physical, you can’t break more than an arm, wrist and fingers. Okay?”

Marinette sighed. Damn it. So much for the body cast or bag.

“Okay.” She responded reluctantly. Her farther nodded then dropped the call.

“Mari are you ready? That meeting is in fifteen minutes. We can make it to the location with five minutes to spare if we leave now.” Nino said as he came down the stairs, no wrinkle on his crisp black suit. He doesn’t wear a dress shirt, but a white polo neck with a silver chain, his black high tops, glasses, and hair is it usual curly mess, but not messy enough that it’s in his face.

“You look nice,” She said as she got up from the stool in the kitchen. “and baba said hi.”

“You also look nice,” And she did in her sharp grey pants suit, black polo neck with a gold chain, black high tops, and hair in a neatly tied bun that was clipped together by a gold flower hair pin. “and did you tell baba that babu is already in Oman for Isra and Mi’ja?” He asked as they made their way out the house and towards the car. They nodded their head in greeting to their personal guard Deze as they got in the car.

“I did. He said that we’ll go when he comes back, but we’ll still have three weeks before the festival, so we should have enough time to greet family and site see. Did you put eye drops. You're blinking a lot.”

“I need new eye drops.”

"And you didn't say anything because,"

"I forgot. Don't antagonis me for forgetting about something. Okay? Okay."

"Just checking."

They fell into a silence after that.

--

When Dawn woke up this morning to get ready for his meeting today, he expected to meet the fierce leader of the Hood gang. He was not prepared however for the little fourteen, maybe fifteen year olds to step out the car. What in the bloody hell.

“Is this some kind of joke?” He asked when one of them walked up to greet him. It was the little girl.

“I can assure you Mr. Dawn that this is no joke.” Her voice was calm and collected, cold, sharp and void of all emotion.

“Listen girle-” He was cut off. Rude, he thought.

“It’s Miss Todd to you Mr. Dawn. I am simply taking care of business while my father is away dealing with something personally. Now I believe we have matters to discuss privately.” She said as she made a move to walk passed him. He grabs her shoulder, and that is when things started going downhill for him.

“Now listen here girle-”

Big mistake. She grabs his arm and twits it in a weird angle making sure to listen for the pop before kicking him under his legs to get him on his stomach, before proceeding to break his wrist. He let out a scream in anguish. His guards start to run to go help him, but the Hood gang stop them with guns to their faces.

Nino sighs. It hasn’t even been five minute since they got here. Mari snorts before she crouches down to be eye level with Dawn. “I told you my name to you is Miss Todd, and like my father and grandfather, I do not like my time wasted, and my patience runs out a lot quicker than my brother over there. Another thing, touch me again and I won’t  be so willing to follow my father’s rule to only break an arm and wrist.” She straightens up and wipes of the dirt on her person, before she looks down on the leader of the Fire Triangle. “I will give you five minutes to gather your bearings and I will meet you inside. If you are not inside by then, I can simply ask my men to follow through and blow up your territory. I am not so cruel to target your family, but make no mistake; do not take my permissive behavior today as a sign of kindness or mercy. I can at any time target your family. Five minutes Mr. Dawn.” She walks into the restaurant head held high.

Nino walks up to Mr. Dawn. “I would count myself very lucky. Our father did not give me any rule and therefore I can put you into a body cast. I would be very careful with your next choice of words for the rest of the meeting.” He then turns him head to the gang and nods his head. They stand down as he and Deze make their way into the restaurant.

By the time the meeting is over, everyone is positively terrified of the two fifteen year olds.

--

A few days later Jason and Roy return from Tokyo. They first make a stop at base so they can see if everything is normal. “Well at least we know they kept their promise.” Roy said as he closed the door to the office.

“They did more than keep their promise.” Jason said from his seat behind his desk, looking over some documents.

“What did they do?” Roy asked as he led over Jason’s shoulder to see what his fiancé was looking at. His eyes widened in shock as he read over the documents.

“They completed the budget for five months, finalised trade deals, managed to get the truce with the Fire Triangle signed, and from this note brought a dog. Wow.” Roy said as he looked over the note.

“What note?”

“This note.” Roy said as he handed the note over.

‘Don’t be mad. We borrowed two grand to buy a puppy. We joined out allowance to buy supplies for her. Her name is Tikki and she is a Great Dean, she’s very playful but don’t worry, we put her through training so she is potty trained. We’ll pay back the 2000£ by the end of the month, with interest because that is the right thing to do.

-Mari and Nino’

Jason laughs. Well this is a surprise. “I think we should get some rest. We’re still going to Oman tomorrow.” Jason said as they made their way out the door and to the car.

“I’ll meet you guys in Oman. I still have to go to Star City for a couple of days. You know, just to make sure Oliver isn’t dead.”

“Okay. Just call when you reach Oman so we can pick you up.”

Roy nods his head. When they finally reach the house Roy makes his way to pack his bag for his flight in the morning and to take a shower. Jason makes his way to the sitting room only to come face to face with a sight.

Mari and Nino are fast asleep on the couch, blankets everywhere, an empty tube of ice-cream on the table, and Bambi play. He shakes his head fondly. He fixes their blankets, switches of the TV, rinses of the spoons and throws away the empty tub.

As he makes his was up-stairs, he runs into Deze.

“Hey Deze. Mind telling me what happened at the truce.”

“She broke Dawns arm because he called her ‘girle’ twice, wasted her time and because he put a hand or her shoulder when he tried to stop her. Nino threated to put him in a body cast and I’m pretty sure he made some of Dawns men pee themselves when he stared at them like he would kill them at any moment. Then in the restaurant they let him talk for about half an hour. They just stared at him, hardly blinking, making sure he was nice and uncomfortable. When he was done Mari read over the contract asked if he was okay with the terms of the contract the made him sign, grabbed the paper and left. Nino gave him a smirk that for sure made him pee himself. Nino didn’t stop laughing for like two minutes and Mari was really trying not to but ultimately failed. We pass a pet store and on impulse they agree to buy a puppy. When they got home things were pretty chilled.”

“Wow that - that is something.” Jason said with a shake of his head smiling fondly. “Thanks for keeping an eye out Deze.”

“No problem boss. See you tomorrow.” She said with a wave of her hand as she made her way out the house.

 Roy cackles when Jason tells him what he heard from Deze. “Oh man, these are the people we’re raising. Terrifying little gremlins that become five year old at the site of a puppy.”

“Yet we love them all the same.”

“Yes, yes we do.”

[jayjayspixiepop]

Y'all I need help finding fics again

I don't really ship marinette x prince ali but there's this one shot (or two shot? Idk) from a long time ago that lives rent free in my mind. (I was bored and it caught my attention ok? I regret nothing except the fact that I didn't reblog it)

Anyways it was inspired by Crazy Rich Asians (it's mentioned somewhere in the fic)

Mari is secretly part of one of the wealthiest families in the world

Mari and Ali met when their grandmothers (or mothers) made them go on a playdate as children

They'd expected each other to be a spoilt brat but were quickly proven wrong

They're best friends :D

They knew their families will betroth them when they're older

They made a deal about trying to date each other and when the time comes they don't have to get married if they don't want to

Some time later they went on a restaurant date, Ali was flustered and his bodyguard said he was chicken about confessing his feelings...? I think?

Yea that's all I remember

[rougerave]

https://unmaskedagain.tumblr.com/post/189582995142/marinette-crazy-rich