I'm about to do the most intense godfrey slander in my life. close your eyes if you're scared.
my biggest beef with him is that for guy who's supposed to be the epitome of str build and the lord of battlefield. he sucks at fighting.
Narratively, everything points toward a barbarian-king whose first priority is getting to kill people Just To Feel Something. Genocide is his hobby. We tarnished did all the work and now steriod boy is here to reap the reward because he thinks it's his rights and might makes right. He fights and gets kicked into the curb to protect his wife's corpse of a long-dead empire. Yeah that's actually great mask-off characterization for lord of a tyrannical regime. From is fucking good for writing that, perfecto 10/10.
Except, too bad, I got a whole game's worth buildup of him but he's mr. swing swing stomp. I shit you not, I've tried running away from him just to see what he would do, and guess what. I run. he stomp. I jump. I run. he stomp. I jump. I run. he stomp. I jump. repeat to loop 25 because that was when I got bored.
And when he's mad enough, he does moves and all of them is 10-second long hyper dramatic grabbing, smashing, panting, sweating, or moaning like someone presses his prostate. Except they do less damage than Malenia pulling up and stabbing you out of pocket. BROTHER THAT IS A DEX BUILD.
It sucks that he doesn't have a tool to *actually* counter much beyond pussy-poking face-tankers and trigger-happy mages who keep getting hit because putting a foot on the ground is faster than saying sermons. 50% of his attacks can be casually strafed without sprinting. no bait or mix-up. this is fucking sad. He Does NOT represent us str build.
I've put him in the open world. yes I can see why you're obsessed with strength and battlefield. you're really, really good at being the most obnoxiously destructive person in the 1 mile radius, except you mostly hit random guys unaware you're here, not the guy you're actually fighting. way to go, whiff king. and he's so good at winning fights against buildings. I was wondering where radahn got the obsession of fighting inanimate objects from.
Don't get me wrong, I think his moveset is generally fine, but it can't reach the standard of Super Serious Nemesis and The Penultimate Boss. Especially when maliketh precedes him. It's a sharp difficulty drop. His moveset could just be Pissfrey's or some mid-game guy's, which I would be 100% on board. It's Elden Lord title as a torch being passed to you, except it feels like getting a pat on the back from a fighter who fights his own arthritis harder than fighting you. Cool presentation, now can someone get him an ice pack? Make him a real threat, or go full nutcase with it.
I get that he's the autopilot boss. It's soothing. It's almost asmr. It's calming. But that is exactly where my issue is. Should he be those things? Or should The Elden Lord be a challenging fight? He plays like a dark souls boss in elden ring, which if you have played it more than several clears with increasingly optimized or OP builds, you know elden ring is much more fine-tuned than previous games. (except sekiro's butter on balls smooth combat that lacks build variety). A lot of bosses have insane dodge tech that utilizes their AI's reactivity and hitboxes in amazing ways, from forcing Morgott out of his combos with positioning to charge R2 downward slam into an incomimg Malenia so her horizontal slashes misses you entirely. We have amazing, puzzle-like shit like that and then this guy. Strafe right, hit, strafe right.
You don't have to agree with me, but you can see my point.
So you know what? He should've been a full nut case. Yeah you're grandpa flailing, warrioring, but please actually land attacks. If he can't be a better fighter, he should laugh in the fight because he loves murder or just fucking eat me after he's done WWE me. It would be funny as all fuck. When he punts you, you should fly and bounce around like a rubber ball. Come the fuck ON. Chew on people like an animal if that's what you want to be so bad, and THAT should've been most of the fight, especially after we've done pissfrey. Stomp Jomperson should just be only 25%. Full focus on man who's about to have the best raw guts mukbang in his life. You're literally ripping people's chest cavity open anyway. It is disgusting and *wasteful* of perfectly fine meat if you don't eat it. Moan Marika's name. Have a dialogue about wanting to be pegged by wife again. Put the whore in hoarah. Bitch.
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