Sorry for the swearing

Hi, you can call me Rowan| they/them| asexual and lesbian 🏳️‍🌈| adult

[odinsblog]

[fireflysummers]

I'm apparently so consistently aroace that a friend of mine uses me as a measurement for whether or not something counts as "romantic," based on when I stop understanding what he's talking about.

[fireflysummers]

@loraxofygg Stop being funnier than me on my own post (/j).

[only-cat-memes]

[isuggestkillingyourself]

[tactfulsaboteur]

[psybomb]

Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[5-this-5-is-5-so-5-fowl-5]

This Fowl finally touched grass

[modogoblin]

[modogoblin]

[valtsv]

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice

[valtsv]

like idk how accurate these are but somehow they manage to be both peak shitposting humor and genuinely helpful suggestions

[valtsv]

fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy Tips™

[columbarius]

From observation, another one would seem to be ‘if you have to get off your horse to do it, let someone else take care of it’

[at-the-end-of-all]

school uniform codes extending to what colours you’re allowed to dye your hair, and what piercings you can have and stuff is so crazy. you HAVE to go to school and you’re not even allowed to have pink hair or pierce your nose about it????

[at-the-end-of-all]

“oh it’s to prepare you for the workplace” okay. i don’t think any workplace should be dictating what you can and can’t do with your body either and i think it’s strange to decide to teach children that their body is not their own

[silvermoon424]

Nazis crashing the fuck out at Elmo for no reason is one of my new favorite genres. Literally this pic:

[streetkit]

it does suck that the government defunded PBS but it's also so fucking funny that now that they don't take uncle sam's slavery dollars they're running videos like "How america's foundation was built on genocide"

no more being polite about it fuck the USA

[yuriwinged]

the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.

[heydocverdant]

we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,

[illmoraineakoi]

I love the insinuation that the second the princess realized she was a girl and thus actually a princess, the dragon was there. That thing wasted no time. It heard "princess" and was like "I need no further invitation, here I come."

Gender affirmed by Dragon. Amazing.

[heydocverdant]

pretty sure you’re literally the only person who understood my vision on this accursed post

[desinteresse]

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

[little-trash-ghost]

Can't leave this in the tags..

[kurulover]

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

[kurulover]

[queerliblib]

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

[meeliesaysno]

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

[ksfoxwald]

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3

[taketestosterone]

if someone says its pronouns are it/its, remember that means its pronouns are it/its!! respect your local it/its user today and get its pronouns right!!

[taketestosterone]

and remember!!!!

[insomniac-arrest]

I wish AI would stop making so many animal story posts. I LOVE animals and they are ruining the loving-animals ecosystem. And also the real ecosystem

[insomniac-arrest]

The truffle hunting cat is AI, I’m so sorry guys

[gingerkingfisher]

Fuck AI, look at my handsomest boy instead, he helps me in the garden by digging holes next to where I am digging. He is not helping at all, but I appreciate his spirit, we are bonding.