
ellievsbear

oozey mess
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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TVSTRANGERTHINGS

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YOU ARE THE REASON

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d e v o n

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will byers stan first human second

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KIROKAZE
Mike Driver
trying on a metaphor

Kaledo Art

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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Misplaced Lens Cap

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@rt-intervals
you remembered, right? that cliff we always sat on? that little corner you crouched in and pretended was yours, all yours to observe--to watch from?
you remembered, right?
that anger upon seeing someone else there,
and then the dissonance in your head, of your voices
did you forget?
the smell of smoke and the rattle of death
"I'll tell you what you are-" he started as he swung.
The porcelain split, with chips and chunks of it scattering across floor-- revealing rotted flesh intertwined with steel.
"-You're A GODDAMN MONSTER!"
RT INTERVALS: Nightmare (mini comic)[OLDER CONTENT--BUT STILL APPLICABLE TO CANON]
tw: blood? violence? i'm not sure what to put. the dialogue isn't the best admittedly, pacing isn't either. however, it was relevant to lore, and still will be. i just wish i did better, but here's something i made a while while back. hope it's decent enough! tell if im missing any tags i should put. thanks!
a criticism on wallowing in misery? in bitterness? or the decision to inflict injury on other every time? a decision to purposely throw oneself into a bad situation, to make sure someone ends up better?
who's saying they're tired? It's all the same font, but it's the 'same person', isn't it? if it's the attacker, then are they questioning how they haven't gotten tired of their own wrongdoings? of suffering? if from the victim's side, then is this their retort? a question on on why they aren't "allowed" to be tired of this behavior or cycle?
and are they the same person? of two different times? two different sides? or is this just a lack of progression on both people, both the same from years ago, since they started? are they really the same person? or is this just projection? who's saying it? the attacker, trying to manipulate the victim? or the victim, giving up? or trying to make it clear this injury isn't helping anyone?
who's who?
did you look in the mirror? did you forget? did you remember?
so many parallels, many of my characters could be put in this spot
but i find these two to be interesting (and nocide plays a lot into this)
RT INVERVALS: Nocide and Dark (Mini-Test comic)
I dont think I ever put this up here! its kinda an unfinsihed thing, but mostly finished. i’m just gonna put this up here as a little art to go along with a little blurb in my head (mostly because an idea just popped up in my head, and i just really wanted to try writing it out.) the picture doesnt exactly match but…
=Scenario/Event:
-Blue(Unicorn on right, blue/grey hair) slowly gets convinced that they’re a horrible person by Mangie(Cyborg alicorn,grey/red hair.)
-Mangie deflects Blue’s questions on Mangie’s lack of sympathy and care towards other people to imply that it isn’t their fault or to lessen the blame.
-Mangie uses this confrontaiton as a “bonding” moment, as a moment between two people who can’t ‘understand’ how other people feel.
-Mangie makes themselves out to be the better person as they make no effort to be ‘better’, while saying that despite Blue attempting to help people, all they do is hurt other people even when they don’t mean it.
-Character development does not save Blue from being crushed by thier anxiety.
—
= writing practice below (tried to…i can do better! i just need to do better)
also i don’t know if i should put any warnings? but its just like a realy small moment kinda compressed into writing. perhaps one day i can write this better to make it more emotional/intense/weird. Also, there’ a lot of the belief below that “not understanding emotions/lack of empathy=bad person” below, so just keep that in mind. dunno how i feel about that belief myself, but enough ramble! also like, i’ll admit a decent part of that below is based on my own thoughts but it does have relevance in those two’s stories/relationship. it’s not very nice, so don’t read if you get uncomfortable easily. i got uncomfortable myself writing this, but i may be sensitive.
Keep reading
someone once said the opposite of care was apathy. i do not know if Mangie truly embodys an opposite, but they are certainly close.
Blue never meant to hurt anyone--they were told that not helping was a sign of them being a bad person. Thier own lack of experience in dealing with emotions and other scenarios has left them stunted--ending up with them being an force of almost neverending ‘positivity’ because they had little to give as anything else. They cannot understand the emotions others may have, but they attempt to be compassionate. It does not stop them from having thier own vices and issues: as they often feel anger for thier own position as an emotional punching bag (and how true it becomes later on), and may suffer from empathy burnout--leading them to lash out more often and approach other’s situations with annoyance rather than seeking to help them out.
Mangie does not care. They do not come onto a scene actively looking to hurt people, but they like to provoke and insult. They want to be someone who is unabashedly ‘bad’, despite thier own esteem being hurt when declared as such. After watching others around them, and perhaps thier own situtations they decided to supress and ignore any empathy or sympathy that may crop up within them, as they believe it would make them less ‘strong’. They wish to be ‘feared’ but they don’t want to be isolated. they want to be a jerk, but to have someone who cares about them and for them. they are hypocritical very often, which is a real staple of my characters.
Blue and Mangie care for each other though, even if they have thier own reservations. Mangie sticks up for Blue and makes them feel justified (a little more at least) in feeling something other than positivity or nothing. Mangie is surprised by Blue’s dedication to trying to help people, despite thier own skepticisms on Blue. They see Blue as someone Mangie could/was once, and Blue’s naivety and near unrelenting kindness has reached Mangie (barely).
Still, there is much more to those two’s relations than talked about here...more things that need to be expanded on such as Mangie’s projection, hatred, spite, and skepticism--and Blue’s other can of worms of how they deal with Mangie and thier own feelings.
'WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER WHO WAS IN THAT MEMORY?'
>look in the mirror. it's you, but you still can't remember who was in your place in that moment.
=Heyo!! back from vacation...! so tired...gotta try and communicate and keep touch with people better, heh... anyways, i was listening to a song which just. made me remember a lot and made me think a lot about the ideas/thoughts i had with RT INTERVALS! there's a lot behind it that comes into play that I'm unable to just draw out >_<
but this turned out vague/presentable enough that has those phrases and ideas i just fucing LOVE!!!
playing with art a bit!! more variations below! +
I dont like the “how long” but ehh. wanted it in, and coudlnt make it white color for the font or else it would blend in. but like OMG OMG OMG ITS DARK!!! ITS THE CHARACTER IN MY PFP YOU, SCANDOULOUS FUCKING MURDER SNAKE!!!! i think ill upload my extremely vauge mini comic with him and c!nocide sometime soon.
Lyrics refrenced in background from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhfs1CzzUPM (song. there’s also an offical slowed+reverbed version too! the mood and tone of that song is just so different, i just love both versions… )
-the lyrics used in the background aren’t exacltly the most accurate but that section of the song is just one i aboslutely love, and “HOW LONG” is a phrase i’ve used before for him and i just couldnt pass it up. ngl, nocide and dark kinda fit well with the song but in different ways.
also, alternate versions below! (kinda like em better)
Keep reading
c!mangie stuff
some c!mangie appriiciaatio cause i fuggin do (snippets stuff i will never fuggin release here
here was also a sketch (i rarely sketch) my gawd and some art i forgor about and finished today!
OH MY GOD. IS BEEN SO LONG SINCE POST MY GAWD AND ITS ART ABOUt Rt INTERVALS YAYYYY
mostly mangie doodles, but there’s a bit of blue in there too!
also c!mangie is very. they’re not very calm sometimes.
vindication is my not name, absolution is yet my game–spite’s the only thing i gain
This isn’t all thats left for us~
even though we’ll try again, it’s blown away within the sand, know apathy is just a trend
so dance, dance, dance with me-! SO WE CAN FIGHT IT ALL OVER AGAIN!
—
Put in the signature cause I needed to fill empty space.
but man i am actually kinda proud of this!!! it was just mainly be drawing this for comfort/fun but yay!! made up cool lines to the beat of this song i was listening to aw yisss. Below is another version with more signatures eee. i feel like the last line is slightly off but, it sounded cool.
thinkin about my main trio from RT INTERVALS
i think one of the things thats on my mind rn for them is like
just
feeling anger
feeling something, it’s not an outburst (though it can be) its just this…slient seeping layer of anger. you hate everything. nobody deserves anything. it’s slick like oil and you’re not sure if it fuels you but you sure as hell know it’s keeping you going giving, giving a sense of “focus”
and then you just want to keep fueling it. even though its so shallow
//looking at c!nameless who is basically not allowing themselves to feel things, c!blue who believes they’re a bad person for even being less emphathethic/symapthethic for a moment, and c!mangie who is repressing every sympathethic thought possible and is fueled by spite often
Writing practice of scenarino: tired so just stoped. was going to make it about mangie’s hypocritical moral diliemas on guilt and nameless’ sort-of stance between doing the right thing and looking for entertainment. instead just had this. mentions of death, i guess? also like mangie is just a major asshole in general this outvurst was the tipping point but it escalates heavily
—
How long?
[Nameless] paced around the room again with Mangie watching intently.
Just how goddamn long has this been going on for?
“Mangie. We need to talk about this.”
The robot-no, cyborg? rolled thier eyes.
“I don’t see why. I’m not hurting anyone, am I?”
“YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT YOU’RE DOING!” [Nameless] roared. The table nearly split in half from thier arm slamming into it.
Mangie’s eyebrow shot up immeaditely. [Nameless] hadn’t expressed this much anger–or anything– since a while as far as mangie remembered.
“You-You can’t just…Say that kind of thing!” [Nameless] started, “Just what the hell is wrong with you?! They’re greiving! And you-”
A snarl cut through [Nameless]’ angry stammering.
“They deserve as much fucking sympathy as the fucking dirt on our shoes.”
“…What?”
“Yea, you fuckin’ heard me.”
Mangie arose from the couch, scowling. They kept making a strange noise, as if they were choking. [Nameless]’ anger dwindled just a little bit, as a morbid curiousity set in it’s place instead. That similar-yet not quite- scoffing sound Mangie made only meant one thing: Genuine anger.
It was just as likely that Mangie was just simply mad at them for actually fighting back but–
Wait. Is this…Is this how I normally think? How we…Who the fuck is ‘we’?!
… Am I-? Who is this? W-
Shut up.
[Nameless] shook thier head intently. Now wasn’t the time. Mangie however–unable to hear [Nameless]’ internal conflict– took it upon them to deepen thier scowl and stop inches from thier face.
“Didn’t you see?” Mangie whispered, with thier voice noticably tapering off into a growl. “They’re just pieces of shit. They’re PLAYING on your sympathy.”
[Nameless]’ anger flared. “What the fuck is WRONG with you?! What- Did you see something? Find out something? You have no RIGHT TO even say those kinds of things about someone in mourn-”
“THEY’RE NOT IN MOURNING!” Mangie screamed. Metal rows of teeth came dangerously close to nipping off a good portion of [Nameless]’ face.
“THEY CAN’T BE IN MOURNING BECAUSE THEY KILLED HIM!”
The house fell slient, save for Mangie’s panting and choked noises.
“Please…” they pleaded, “hear me out, won’t you?”
…Weigh our options.
Well, it’s this or nothing, isn’t it?
But Mangie’s still in the wrong.
And murder changes this a bit. We’re still not going to let them get away with thier behavior.
..Right.
“Alright-Just-”
A sigh.
“Just start from the top, alright?”
c!Rei has no future because they have nowhere to go, nothing to do. No one will help them. They can struggle all they like, but in the end they’ll return.
But they will have one. Because they’re still there, aren’t they?
c!ikari has no future because they’re already dead. Thier humanity is forfeit (but they are sorely mistaken). Eternity turns the past, present and future into a blur, and if not then it’s the manicial former god-”friend” that strips anything resembling thier life.
But they do have one. Thier free will is thier future. Every heartbreaking moment, joyful, fearful/emotional moment of thier own and shared with others is how they can live with themselves. How they can wish for the future, and for themselves.
Original RT Mangie and Blue have no future because they’re already living it. The future is the present and they have today to enjoy, and tomorrow, and the day after, and that birthday on thier calender and so on… They just have to work out some random things, but that’s life.
RT Intervals Mangie has no future because they can’t believe they’d have one. No point in trying. But they’re still living, aren’t they? They’re not dead yet, they’re not gone. Anyone can become better. Even if it hurts and sucks complete ass, anyone can still try to be better.
RT Intervals Blue has no future because they are weak, and finds that nothing stays. But nothing lasts forever, and they’ll find that not everything has been wiped away completely clean. They will find strength in themselves one day.
RT Nameless has no future because there’s no point in having one. What’s the point in living? Is there…?
There is. Because they’re still here aren’t they? Not everything is going to be fine sometimes. But it’s going to be okay. They have to believe.
Sorry for the depressin kinda content in here! read something, something struck me irl, and then it got me thinkin about how similar my characters are and maybe how they would view a “future”. kind of- its a composite of what they believe and what they’re doing regarding that concept. and like. ‘as long as you’re still here that means something’ that idea really resonates with me and its gonna resonate a lot in similar but slightly different ways. its not gonna be a very main point across all stories but like. :p also yea “have to believe” super fuckin vauge i know but that was a really comforting notion to me in a way. I cant call it quits and be a wuss cause im still here. im still in the game. that kinda thing.
also in case i was too vauge: all of them are wrong about not having/being unable to have hopes, dreams or a future.
//also writing this out helped me figure out how fucked some of my characters are in the head hot damn i shoulda fuckin known the comedy-based comic versions of my main charatcers are the least fucking truamatized/doing the most well. like, c!ikari is like completely messed up during the 4th season of the RPD!universe so idk what i expected lmao
arc words/sentences for main 4 series as of now
Arc words/setences for now:
“Did you remember?/did you forget?”
“Who was on that cliff that day?”
“I hate you./I love you.”
“Give into temptation”
—-
Arc words/setences for now:
“Audience”
“Slience”
“remade”
“chaos”
“peace”
within the last season/episode: “blizzard/snow/cage”
—
NO ARC WORDS OF NOW.
NO ARC SENTENCES OF NOW.
–
Arc words: Dreamy/Dreamy Possum/smoke/fog
Arc sentence of now: “You look a lot like me now, don’t you?”