𝑅𝓊𝒷𝓎 𝜗𝜚

romanticizing the ache a little ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

[rubiescorazon]

hi, i’m ruby. i’m 19.

this space is for the quiet heartbeats, the soft ache, the thoughts that drift and don’t quite land anywhere. for the moments when pretending to be fine feels impossible, and just existing is a small rebellion.

here are fragments of feeling, little sparks of creativity, whispers of what i can’t always say out loud. i’m still learning how to be gentle with myself, still learning how to let the world be gentle too.

if you’re here, i hope it feels like a breath between storms. fragile, luminous, and entirely yours to linger in.

Here's my cat and I /⁠ᐠ⁠｡⁠ꞈ⁠｡⁠ᐟ⁠\

[rubiescorazon]

WHATAHWTA you have pink hair, a button headband, a cat and you write so beautiful, iloveyou

you’re literally the sweetest 🫶🏼. i made the headband with stretchy thick yarn and thrifted a jar of buttons, if that’s something you ever wanna try!

[rubiescorazon]

Proud of my Body

although my scars are fading, the bumps like hills they left behind no longer bother me. the marks don’t carry the same weight they used to. not something i flinch at whenever I catch a glimpse in the mirror, not something i feel the need to explain away.

for a long time, i thought healing meant erasing. making sure no one could tell what i’d been through. but healing, for me, ended up looking more like acceptance. understanding that i did what i could with what i had at the time.

these aren’t things i owe anyone an apology for. they’re proof that i survived a version of myself that was hurting and didn’t know how to cope another way yet. i don’t see them as flaws anymore, just history written on skin.

this body carried me through it all. every low point, every slow step forward, every moment i chose to stay. and that’s something i’ll always be proud of.

[rubiescorazon]

OMG YOUR PAGE IS SO POETIC AND BEAUTIFUL I LOVE IT SM!!!! :3

i really appreciate you liking my writing and the vibe!!!:3

[rubiescorazon]

Hello, hello!!! Not in an attempt to be weird or make you uncomfortable, but may I just say: you look absolutely DIVINE!!! Such a gorgeous being with an everlasting face!!! /vvvpos

AHHHH omg stoppp 🥹💖 you are literally the sweetest ever!! this made me smile SO big. this was honestly really nice to read and it caught me off guard thank you for that 🫶🏼

[rubiescorazon]

Dear me, last December

I know you’re cold, and not just from the harsh winter outside.

I know the lights feel too dim, the laughter from happy families too loud,

and the world keeps moving while you feel frozen in place.

I want you to know it’s okay to feel small.

It’s okay to stumble under the weight of emotions that were once locked away,

to have tears blur the lights on the Christmas tree,

to feel invisible in a room full of others’ happiness.

You will find warmth.

You will find moments that fill your heart again,

even if it’s just a cup of tea, a soft melody, or a message from someone you care about.

Hold on.

Being here, in the present, is enough.

[rubiescorazon]

Social Media on Christmas Eve

The feeds are full to the brim with twinkling Christmas lights, happy families, and carefully wrapped presents.

Everything looks so bright, so perfect.

And here you are, no holiday plans, scrolling on your phone, wondering if you measure up.

It’s easy to forget that everyone posts what they want you to see.

They curate their feeds to look perfect, while hiding the struggles they face.

Social media doesn’t show the nights spent lying awake anxious, the days too tired to function, the quiet moments no one notices.

Remember, it’s okay to step back.

It’s okay to enjoy the lights without letting material things or appearances decide your worth.

Even tonight, on Christmas Eve,

you can show up for yourself.

And that is enough.

[rubiescorazon]

Small Victories

Some days, victory is just breathing.

Choosing to stay here for another day.

Eating a meal without worry.

Letting yourself feel your emotions without despising them.

These things are so small, almost invisible.

But they matter.

They’re proof you’re still here,

Still willing to try,

Still willing to give the world a chance.

Creating small victories.

Even ones no one else can see.

Even when they feel like nothing.

They mean something.

They mean everything, if that’s what keeps you here.

[rubiescorazon]

i wanted to say i’m literally obsessed with your theme,,, its so so pretty

omg thank you!! i put so much thought into these messages, a lot of it's coming from an old diary. i just wanted the theme to embody that, so it’s really nice to hear someone liked it 🫶🏼

[rubiescorazon]

Relapse isn't Failure

relapse doesn’t have to be a confession or proof you didn’t try hard enough, it can just be a quiet moment of honesty with yourself, a reminder that you’re still moving forward even if the steps are messy. it’s not a lie, it’s not weakness, it’s part of recovery being human, and choosing to keep going, to ask for patience or support, and to care for yourself anyway, is what really matters.

[rubiescorazon]

Recovery

loving myself didn’t arrive as kindness.

it arrived as escape.

after the abuse, i learned to hate myself

the way i was taught to.

i carried those words inward,

let them live under my skin.

hurting myself became a language,

first to drown out the noise of being hit,

then to feel something

when the sadness went numb and deep.

i tried to stop for reasons that weren’t mine.

for other people’s comfort.

for the shame of exposed skin.

for guilt, thinking it could save me.

it never did.

i relapsed often,

because recovery can’t survive

when it’s built on punishment.

it took me a long time to understand

that relapse isn’t failure,

it’s part of learning how to stay.

what changed wasn’t discipline.

it was distance.

leaving the house that broke me.

telling my partner the truth.

letting myself be human

without turning mistakes into violence.

i learned something simple and devastating:

"i didn’t want to die.

i just wanted out of that house."

(the virgin suicides)

loving myself now looks quieter.

it looks like grace.

like choosing to remain.

like believing i deserve a life

that doesn’t ask me to disappear.

[rubiescorazon]

Small reasons to stay

there are days the thought returns

like it never left

quiet, convincing, heavy in my chest.

it tells me to disappear,

to stop trying,

to rest forever.

but i’ve learned something about it.

it comes in episodes.

it lies in absolutes.

it feels endless

until it isn’t.

most days, it fades into smaller wants.

a drive with the windows down.

warm rose tea.

a reason to leave the house.

a future that hasn’t happened yet.

i want to live.

i want to grow old beside my partner,

memorize their face in different decades,

collect new places, new versions of myself,

proof that time kept moving

and i moved with it.

the darkness is still in me

it stained parts of my thinking,

left cracks i carry carefully.

but i won’t crumble into it.

not today.

not ever.

this body, this life,

is staying.

[rubiescorazon]

Hidden Scares

The pain doesn’t shout, it whispers low,

A storm no one outside can know.

A smile worn thin, a mask in place,

Hiding a war no one can trace.

The blade isn’t beauty, it’s silence and ache,

A breath between “I’m fine” and “I’ll break.”

Each mark a story, not meant to be read,

A cry for a voice, not a wish to be bled.

But light is stubborn, it slips through the seams,

A quiet reminder buried in dreams.

And though it feels endless, heavy, and stark,

Even the deepest night fears the spark.

You are more than the scars you hide,

More than the storm still trapped inside.

One day your hands will learn to mend,

What pain once wrote, hope can amend.