sub that hypnotises dommes into being more confident
sub that acts like a therapist to help dommes work through her mental blocks and dominant guilt
sub that is an expert in kink and can teach unsure dommes how to do the things they want to do
sub that actively guides and steers its relationship with its dommes
this is the end goal, btw. subs can't be passive. subs can't expect dominants to work on themselves and self actualise without help, and subs can't expect dommes to do that work without them.
your domme is not an island. she is not so far above you that you can't be there for her when she struggles. if you belong to her in any kind of way then you need to be there for her when she's not dominating you. you need to know that your domme has feelings and thoughts and that you both need to support each other. you can dress it up in kink if it helps, but you need to help each other.
I think there's some element of this in My fantasies about a sub giving a shy Domme instructions on how to use, abuse, or degrade her; in a friendly, helpful, and positive manner; encouraging the Domme to let go, de-empathize a bit, and enter a flow state that is both impulse driven and calculating. Continuing to do so even when the Domme is pinning her down, going too rough on her, has her in a difficult/compromising pose, or is doing something that makes it harder for her to talk, while trying not to dissuade or discourage the Domme.
In My fantasies, this tends to get portrayed as the sub being excessively submissive, with an impression that the sub probably should have held firmer on boundaries and pushed back more than they did with the Domme even if they were trying to be gentle and guiding. The Domme getting too into it and taking things too far, but even that still being considered "okay".
I think this comes from a desire to want to feel okay being more open and vulnerable and imperfect and supported as a Domme, to get a break from thinking three steps ahead and doing intensive scene management with every action.
I haven't had a lot of contact with other dommes, but I'm getting the impression that a lot of us have had experiences with subs and communities that have pushed us into being less open or more aggressive or more "invulnerable" and to take more responsibility for the scene and everyone involved.
Maintain kayfabe, do the emotional labor for ourself and/or our partner(s).
"If I feel guilty about it, that's my problem (alone) for not having the right mindset."
"I'm the one in control of someone else (or multiple someones), so I can't afford to make mistakes."
I can maintain confidence and emotionally regulate and manage everyone's boundaries and control the scene, sure, but doing all of it all of the time is exhausting. Even now that I keep good subs that thank Me and appreciate Me and bring scene ideas and react creatively and are very tolerant of My mistakes/flaws, it's still taxing labor to begin with.
