Crazy ded.

[rut045-blog]

God, every time I swear to myself that I won't read late, and every time I look at how much time I have left before my alarm goes off, I have this reaction:

[rheasforum]

Unspoken Goodbyes (Kili x Y/N)

overview: Kíli’s infatuation with Tauriel jeopardizes his relationship with his partner. During the Battle of the Five Armies, he faces devastating regret as he realizes its too late where his heart truly belongs.

warning: angst?? third-party interference, death

A/N: inaccuracies

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The forest of Mirkwood loomed around Thorin’s company like a dark omen. You walked beside Kíli, his hand intertwined with yours, feeling the warmth of his presence. Yet, beneath the surface, an unsettling tension brewed. Kíli was captivated by the elves, and it gnawed at your heart like a slow poison.

When the elves appeared, it was as if the vibrant greens of the forest faded, overshadowed by their ethereal beauty. Legolas, tall and regal, commanded with respect, but it was Tauriel who held Kíli’s gaze. You had noticed Kíli's fascination the moment they met, his curiosity did not go noticed. But you hadn’t worried, not at first. After all, you had weathered worse than a fleeting glance, hadn’t you?

Trapped in the cells of the Elvenkings fortress, captured by the elves, you sat beside Fili, the damp stone cold beneath you, exchanging worried glances. The oppressive silence was broken by snippets of conversation from Kíli’s cell, and your breath caught as Tauriel’s melodic voice drifted through the air. You strained to listen as she spoke with Kíli about the rock his mother had given him, a token of comfort he always kept close.

“It reminds me of home,” Kíli said, his voice soft yet filled with an emotion you couldn’t place. “It’s like a piece of her is always with me.”

Your heart dropped at his words. The tenderness in his voice felt like a dagger piercing through your chest. It stung to realize that you had once been the one who brought him comfort, but now it was Tauriel who stood in that place, bright and captivating.

Jealousy and despair swirled within you as Kíli shared memories of his mother, reminiscing with the elf who had captured his attention. You forced yourself to look away, not wanting to hear any more. You had thought the bond you shared was special, that Kíli’s heart was yours, but in that moment, it felt like you were losing him to someone who seemed so much more enchanting.

Fili noticed your distress and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, but it did little to ease the heaviness in your heart.

“He doesn’t see you slipping away,” he murmured, his voice a mix of concern and frustration. “He’s lost in the moment.”

But you couldn’t shake the feeling that Kíli was drifting further away with each passing moment. And when Tauriel spoke again, it confirmed your worst fears—he was captivated by her, and you were merely an afterthought.

Day after day, you caught him looking at her. His laughter was lighter in her presence, his eyes sparking with a fascination you hadn’t seen since before this quest began. It was as though the darkness of the journey lifted when Tauriel was near, and the weight of it crushed you instead.

It wasn’t until Kíli had been injured during a skirmish with orcs, poisoned by an arrow, that everything unraveled. You stayed by his side, holding his hand, but his eyes always seemed to drift elsewhere, waiting for someone else. When Tauriel arrived, glowing with the ethereal light of her magic and saving him, your heart shattered. Kíli murmured something to her, his voice soft and raw as if he was confessing, and you knew, deep in your bones, that whatever had bound him to you was slipping away.

You distanced yourself after that. There were no fights, no declarations—just quiet withdrawal. You told yourself you were being silly, that Kíli was just grateful to Tauriel for saving his life. But it didn’t feel like gratitude; it felt like you were being replaced. When Kíli would ask what was wrong, you’d brush him off with a smile that never reached your eyes.

“Nothing’s wrong,” you’d whisper, turning away before your voice could betray you. But Fili noticed, and so did the others.

One evening, as the company sat around a fire, Fili pulled Kíli aside. “You’re blind, brother. You’re so focused on someone who isn’t yours that you’ve forgotten the one who is.”

Kíli scoffed, defensive. “It’s not like that, Fili. Tauriel… she’s just… different.”

“And what about her?” Fili asked, nodding toward you as you sat alone, away from the others, staring into the flames. “Do you see how you’ve hurt her?”

Kíli’s heart tightened as he followed his brother’s gaze. You were different lately—quieter, more distant—but he hadn’t put the pieces together until now. Guilt gnawed at him, but before he could speak, a call to arms rang out.

The Battle of the Five Armies had begun.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The chaos of battle was overwhelming. Screams echoed across the battlefield, the clashing of metal, and the roars of orcs filled the air. Kíli fought alongside his kin, but a part of him searched for you, needing to talk to you, to apologize. He had been a fool, blinded by something fleeting and neglecting what was real: you.

But you were nowhere to be found. As time passed, his desperation mounted. His strikes grew wilder, fueled by frantic fear for your safety.

When the battle slowed, he found Fili standing over a body, his face ashen. Kíli’s heart dropped into his stomach as he rushed to his brother’s side.

“No…” Fili whispered, his voice shaking.

Kíli followed his brother’s gaze and saw you. Lying there, your once bright eyes now closed, your skin pale beneath the grime of battle. Blood stained your armor and the fallen snow, a fatal wound that had taken you when he hadn’t been there.

“No… no, no, no!” Kíli dropped to his knees beside you, trembling hands cradling your face. “You can’t be… you can’t…” His voice broke, shattered by grief too powerful to contain.

He had lost you. Not to an orc’s blade, not to the chaos of battle, but because he hadn’t been there when you needed him most. He had failed you long before your body had fallen on this battlefield.

Kíli let out a roar, more pain than rage, as his world collapsed around him. The battle, the quest—none of it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore.

Fili knelt beside him, his own tears falling, but Kíli barely noticed. All he saw was you—your face, once full of life, now still. He pulled you into his arms, rocking back and forth, as if he could somehow bring you back by sheer force of will.

“I’m sorry my dove,” Kíli whispered, his voice breaking. “I should’ve… I should’ve been there. I should’ve never let you go.”

But it was too late. The words he should’ve said, the love he should’ve shown, would never reach you now. He had betrayed you long before Tauriel had entered their lives, and now you were gone.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

As the battle’s final moments played out, Kíli fought with a desperation that had nothing to do with winning. He fought because he had nothing left to lose. Tauriel, who had rushed to help him again, found him amidst the carnage, but he barely acknowledged her presence.

She wasn’t who he wanted. She wasn’t who he needed. He realized, too late, that the only person he had ever truly loved was now beyond his reach.

Kíli fell on the battlefield, not from an enemy's blade but from the weight of his own heartbreak. As he closed his eyes, the last thing he saw was your face, the memory of you smiling at him before everything faded into darkness.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

In the end, it wasn’t an orc that took Kíli’s life. It was regret.

[guardianofrivendell]

How the company reacts to finding out you and fili are married 😂

I loved this request and I decided that instead of making into a full blown fic - that would take me even longer to publish - I would do it headcanon style. 

Look at me making my way through requests 💪!

The Company Reacting to You and Fili being Married

Fíli x fem!reader 

Warnings: Fíli has one braincell in this one and he does not use it, open ending because it started to get too long but we all know it would turn out okay in the end, f-word, it is really silly I’M SORRY

A/N: It might not be exactly what you had in mind when sending in the request but it’s where my imagination took me 😆 This should not be taken seriously.

you were a last minute addition to the Company

Fíli and Kíli had kept the Quest a secret but you found out anyway, following them all the way to Bag-End

because there was no way they were leaving you behind

they were not happy - except maybe Kíli who was over the moon to see you

almost breaking his brother’s ribs when he shoved his elbow in Fíli’s side

wiggling his eyebrows while his eyes drifted towards you 

Fíli immediately regretting ever telling Kíli of his crush on you

little did he know you felt exactly the same

anyways

back to the Company

lots of protest from the other Dwarves because there was no way they were taking a woman with them

it didn’t take long for you to wrap each and every one of them around your little finger

them quickly agreeing on you coming along, but you had to promise not to be a burden to them 

Kíli blurting out that he and Fíli would look after you

that earned him a swift kick to the shins from Fíli

he made Kíli promise not to tell you anything and to not tease him about it

Kíli promised to behave and not embarass him in front of you

crossed fingers behind his back

during the journey Fíli had a hard time keeping it together around you

much to the delight of Kíli who found it all hilarious

at the slightest sign of danger, Fíli did his best to shield you from it

it kind of was exhausting really, keeping an eye on both you and his brother while also not trying to get killed himself 

as long as you were safe, that was what mattered most 

he thought he could pick up some signals from you that you might be feeling the same

or that could just be him seeing things

he was planning on asking you if he could court you as soon as they reclaimed Erebor 

so he still had some time to build up his courage

and he was sure not to tell his brother about this 

but everything escalated one night when Thorin decided to share some news

they were all sitting around the campfire, chatting after dinner

when suddenly the subject of marriage comes up 

Ori asking what a wedding ceremony is like, since he never witnessed one before

before anyone can explain, Thorin clears his throat

“You will find out soon enough. We will have a wedding once Erebor is reclaimed.”

Everyone looking at each other questioningly, shrugging shoulders when asked if they know something

“Who’s getting married?”

dramatic silence

then Thorin looks at Fíli

“As soon as Erebor is ours again, Fíli is to be wed to a lady of nobility of the Iron Hills.”

a few gasps were heard among the Company

Fíli had dropped his bowl of stew to the ground

Kíli sat wide-eyed beside him, his eyes flickering to you 

you were completely still, as if frozen in place

you should have known you didn’t stand a chance

Fíli is part of the royal family after all 

but then Fíli stands up with a jolt, as if bitten by something

“I can’t marry her.”

Thorin sighs, he knew this was coming

“Fíli, it is important to strengthen the relations with-”

“No, I can’t marry her because... because...”

his eyes landed on you and his heart broke 

your eyes fixed on the ground, hands tucked underneath your thighs and biting your lip 

in complete panic he said the first thing that came into his mind

“... because I’m ALREADY MARRIED!”

okay well

that maybe wasn’t the best thing to say 

seeing how Thorin was about to burst

“Already married? TO WHOM?!”

...

Fíli panicked again

think of a name think of a name think of a name

any name but-

“Y/N!”

your head snapped up and your jaw almost fell to the ground

Kíli screeched in excitement, clapping his back

“Way to go, brother! You never told me you guys eloped?! No wonder she was so keen on coming along.”

Fíli looked at him and was speechless

did he seriously believe he would marry someone without telling him

without telling anyone?

yes, yes he did

it appeared the whole company believed it

he received pats on the back, a shove here and there

lots of ‘congratulations’ and ‘well done’

Dori was tearing up

Glóin and Bombur welcomed him ‘to the club’

you received the same treatment but were still too stunned to react 

when Thorin stood before you, you almost cowered in fear underneath his stare 

he crossed his arms and gave you a stern look

“Are you pregnant?”

“NO!” both you and Fíli yelled at the same time, absolutely mortified

his lips started to twitch and to your surprise Thorin smiled at you

“It didn’t go the way I expected but... Welcome to the family!”

Thorin hugs you

I repeat

Thorin hugs you

meanwhile Fíli is having a small extensive crisis 

he meets your eyes and you’re shooting daggers at him

he fucked up big time

there was no way out of this 

not this time

after Thorin it was Kíli’s turn to give you a bonecrushing hug

your feet might have been off the ground for a few seconds

“I never thought he would finally grow a pair! I mean... he couldn’t even talk to you without embarassing himself!”

“Thank you Kee”

you locked eyes with Fíli again

“Excuse me, I need a word with my husband.”

you ignored the feeling in your stomach when you said that

how right it felt 

lots of hooting and hollering when you dragged Fíli out of the campsite

you raised an eyebrow at him in question

enter puppy eyed Fíli 

“I panicked”

“Out of all the names you could have blurted out it had to be mine?”

since he was already in too deep he could just as well tell you the truth

it’s not like it couldn’t get much worse at this point

“You’re the only one I’m thinking about.”

smooth Fíli, really smooth

you’re speechless but your eyes betray you

they’re filled with love and adoration

and Fíli’s heart fills with hope

maybe he didn’t screw it up that bad

his hand disappears in his pocket

here goes nothing

“I was going to wait until we were at the Lonely Mountain...”

he opens his hand for you and you see a blue and silver courting bead with intricate carvings

“But since we’re already married-”

 you scoffed, but couldn’t help the wide grin on your face

“Would you do me the honor of braiding your hair?”

Told you it was an open ending... but we all know how this one would continue :) 

Permanent taglist: @roosliefje @kata1803 @entishramblings @artsywaterlily @sleepy-daydream-in-a-rose @marvelschriss @kumqu4t @myrin1234 @dark-angel-is-back @the-fandoms-georgie @lathalea @xxbyimm @sokkasdarling @katethewriter @aredhel-of-gondolin @leethology @thepeanutcollective 

[deadlymistletoe]

This one is so sweet and funny!

[rut045-blog]

Это буквально моя реакция, когда я читала, только ещë нужно добавить счастливые визги

[rut045-blog]

Every time I see a juicy post about a reader and a character, I get immersed in it from head to toe. ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE'S DIRT INVOLVED. I'm just like:

[super-incorrect]

Bobby - You are the first person in the recorded history to have ever started a fire with water, ya idjit.

Y/n, moved to tears - Oh my gosh, thank you!

Dean - THAT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT!

[super-incorrect]

[During a dinner with Archangels]

Y/n - Have I told you how much I love you?

Gabriel - You might have but feel free to remind me

Y/n - Well I lov-

Michael - Enough! You have reminded him 11 times during this dinner alone! He remembers! We all remember!

[citrusandcyanide]

The pain is the worst when I open up my favorite tags and there has been no new fics. Please I’m begging

[navstuffs]

Smooth Coincidence - Masterlist

Pairing: CEO!Ezio x GN!Reader

Summary: You finally decide to let it loose, only to discover the man you had a one-night stand with is now your CEO.

Warnings: modern au!, ceo!ezio, half comedy, half smutty, no physical description of reader, reader is VERY awkward/silly, alcohol drinking, reader has low self esteem, reader self depreciates, elena is my oc, more tags might be added as story progresses, title of this story might change as well

Author's Notes: hello and welcome to my first long fic project. what best way to start than with CEO! Ezio? (i do realize i have said that many many times already) im so nervous and excited. this fanfic won't have a lot of chapters, i do not want to extend so much since i have another one in the works. hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 1

[rut045-blog]

Черт возьми, это слишком хорошо написано, мне нужно больше этой истории

[lxvvie]

Y'all know that whole trend that was going around social media with women calling their significant other by their full name? Yeah, that one. Yet another conversation was had, this time it was about the reactions your favorite babygurls would have if you called them by their full government name because of reasons. Maybe.

Capt. John Price - He's, uh, startled but not enough to drop his cigar this time. Does take a puff of it, though, before addressing you like it's the calm before the storm. Isn't too fazed because he heard it enough from his own mom growing up and he figures he's suave and diplomatic enough to placate you.

Gaz - Pointedly ignores you while giving you side glances here and there which is a major indicator that he's gotten into some shit. Probably. More than likely. Yeah... it was Soap's fault.

Alex Keller - Actually did get into some shit. Does not answer the call of duty.

Soap - You hear 'ah, shit', heavy footsteps, probably a crash, and Soap's peeking his head out from the other room. Has a deer-in-headlights look about him. It was Gaz's fault, goddamnit. He's so adorable. It's enough to make you giggle.

Ghost - You get a grunt. And then it hits him. He stops doing whatever it is he's doing. Fuck, he knows that tone. Simon turns to look at you and he stares into your soul or something like that. What in the hell kind of made-up middle name is that? You spend the better part of a good minute staring each other down before you're all, "I love you ♥️," and Ghost groans and rolls his eyes and goes back to whatever it was he was doing. But not before he grunts out a "Love ya, too." in return.

Alejandro - This is one of the few things that'll actually faze the man. Will damn near break his neck turning to face you to see what's wrong and his eyes will be wide. Oh, the last time he heard his full name called like that was from his beloved grandmother and he'd gotten into some shit then, okay?

Rudy - Ducks his head. Doesn't show his face; he can't bear the sternness of your voice, your gaze. It wasn't him this time, he swears; it remains, though, the way you say his name, an echo in his mind: Ro-DOL-fo. Why'd you have the emphasize THAT part of his name, huh?

König - König.exe stops working. Actually does break something trying to get to you. His eyes are fucking saucers, okay? Oh shit, what did he do this time, Schatz? Are you getting him back after that one time he snuck up on you to surprise you and you dropped dinner? Did you find out about the time he accidentally messed up the laundry and the white clothes came out pink? WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO FIX THIS?! Oh, you... just needed him to grab something off the top shelf for you.

Horangi - Also did some shit. Is unapologetic about it. Hits you with a nonchalant, "Yeah?"

Graves - STAYS IN SOME SHIT, OKAY? Saunters in like the smug bastard he is. Smirks and winks at you. "Haven't heard that name in a while, darlin'. What's your fancy?"

Valeria - Pulls a Uno Reverse and calls you by your full government name. Wait―

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Being Karasuno’s Manager

🧁🍩Miss Manager loves to Bake 🍪 🍰

Karasuno featuring Seijoh x female! manager (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: pure fluff

AN: This is probably the cutest anon request ever 🥹

Let me just say this

Kageyama might be “king of the court” but YN is “Queen of Karasuno” 👸

Honestly these boys absolutely worship you

Literally, they act as if they don’t have three managers

They literally will lay down in a puddle of mud while you step on them

Will do the above 👆 for any of their three managers

But you, you my love are super special to our boys

Why you ask?

Well it’s because you provide them with nutrients to survive 😌

That’s right, your love of baking and the fine art of culinary creations only helps you out with our beloved crows

You’ve learned to cater to all their needs

Filling recipes with top tier ingredients for success

Things like fruits, nuts, and even sneaking some veggies in there

Like zucchini bread or carrot cake

Listen, even if it’s in a desert, it still counts as a fruit or veggie

I don’t want to hear “tHe SuGaR cAnCeLs It OuT”

Because like these boys need the sugar to run and jump all over the place ok 🤚🏻

You bake almost daily as a form of stress release and therapy

Please you need it with the team you manage 🙄

And you always bring in the treats for the boys!

And they ALWAYS eat them up

“These are fantastic Yn what are they called?” Hinata asks

“They are Fudgy Pumpkin Brownie bites! It’s a new recipe!” You exclaim as Kageyama and Noya go in for thirds

“You fit a whole pumpkin in here Yn?!?” Hinata : D

You 👉🏻😐

“I think she means that there is pumpkin in the recipe not one per bite,” Ennoshita explains

I never claimed they were smart Yn

Anyways, you are always there to help our precious boys fill their bellies

You are in charge of snacks for games and practice, often finding joy in everything you do

So when the prelims for the road to spring nationals start, you are busy whipping up some goodies

You bake the entire weekend before, preparing for every possible scenario

Protein muffins for in between matches

Chocolate chip cookies for after they win matches

You even prepare some of your famous Strawberry shortcake cookies just incase the boys happen to lose

Not that we think they will, don’t get me wrong but it’s always nice to be prepared

Anyways, the prelims start and Karasuno dominates

Like, did we really thinking they wouldn’t 💅

Anyways, tensions run high as the boys go into their match with Seijoh

You remember the first time they fought against Seijoh and how the loss crushed them

But fueled up on your high-protein muffins, these boys are ready to kick butt!

And kick butt they do!

They beat Seijoh and prepare to meet Shiratorizawa in the finals

After the game, you notice how upset Seijoh is after their loss

You knew this was the third years last tournament and seeing them cry hurt

You thought about if it was your boys

And with that, there was only one thing left to do

So you pulled out a piece of paper and wrote a little note and stuck it in the box of cookies

As your team was preparing to leave, you grabbed your box of Strawberry Shortcake cookies and ran over to Seijoh

Karasuno rn 👉🏻👀

“Excuse me?” You said as the entire Seijoh team turned around and looked at you

“You guys played an excellent game and you deserve these,” you said handing Seijoh your expertly wrapped cookies

Oikawa accepted, saying nothing

Please you left him speechless

Too bad Kunimi’s too sad to even record this moment 😭

You smile and wave as you run back to your team

Meanwhile, back the gym the Seijoh boys are extremely sad

“Hey what did that manager from Karasuno give you Oikawa?” Kindaichi asked as Oikawa reached for the box

He reached for it, opening it as the note slipped out

Iwa picked the note up and began reading it

It read “Thank you for playing your hardest! You deserve these. Xoxo YN, Karasuno’s Manager”

“It’s cookies,” Oikawa said as he began to pass them around and Iwa showed Oiks the note

Oikawa rn 👉🏻😐🥺😭

Please the entire Seijoh team is eating your cookies and crying Yn 😩

The next few days go by

You are in the gym taking notes when a teacher comes to get you

“Excuse me?”

“Yes,” Takeda asks

“Umm there is a team of boys at the front gate here to see Yn,” the teacher says

Karasuno 👉🏻 a team…. OF BOYS 😐😑

Tanaka and Noya 👉🏻 FOR YN?!?? 😡🤬

“Oh my ok!” You say, getting up and walking towards the gates of Karasuno

Tanaka, Noya, Kags and Hinata are ready to go

It takes the entire rest of the team to hold them back 🙄

“WHAT IF THEY KIDNAP YN??” Noya shouts

“They literally showed up at the front of school in broad daylight, like that’s gonna happen,” Suga say, rolling his eyes

“Someone has never watched dateline before,” Tanaka adds

Of course, you ignore them and head for the gates

As you approach, you see the white track suits

You 👉🏻😐😳

“Umm hi,” you say as the boys of Seijoh all look at you

“Team!” Oikawa shouts and they all scream

“THANK YOU FOR THE COOKIES YN!” while bowing

You rn 👉🏻😐😳🥹

“You are so welcome! Thank you for coming!” You say smiling and going to hug them

You hug Iwa first and boy is he stiff 😅

It’s safe to say the entire Seijoh team is now in love with you Yn 🥰

Bonus

“Omg is Oikawa crying?” Kageyama says, shoving Hinata out of the way as they watch around the corner.

“Hey watch it butthole!” Hinata shouts as he pushed Kageyama out of the way.

“I’d cry too if YN hugged me,” Noya added as Tanaka nodded.

“You guys are about to have something to cry about if you don’t get your butts back to the gym RIGHT NOW!” Daichi shouted, looming over them as the boys all turned and ran back to the gym.

[b3ans0up]

ALL OF THIS AUDIOP0RN MDI 18+ ONLY!!!

All soundgasm audio of Ghost aka Simon Riley from cod mw2! Please enjoy!

https://soundgasm.net/u/Badjhur/M4F-Ghost-Stories-A-Run-in-with-Ghost-Riley

https://soundgasm.net/u/Badjhur/M4F-Ghost-Stories-Only-A-Specialists-Touch

https://soundgasm.net/u/Badjhur/M4F-Empty-Your-Brain

https://soundgasm.net/u/Badjhur/M4F-Zero-Hour-Ghost-Stories-Lt-Simon-Ghost-Riley

https://soundgasm.net/u/Badjhur/M4F-Do-You-Belong-To-Me

https://soundgasm.net/u/Badjhur/M4F-Ghost-Stories-Testing-the-Perimeter

Sorry btw that I haven't been posting a lot lately but please do take this as an apology;)

(Fixed it!)

[rut045-blog]

Oh my God, oh...my...god

[guardianofrivendell]

When the Company doesn’t realize you understand Khuzdul

The Company & reader, Fíli & reader if you squint

Requested: nah, I just plucked this from my “ideas for new wips” list because I got frustrated with every existing wip I had and I wanted to work on something new - something silly like this, where I didn’t have to think too much, just write and post  

Warnings: Dwarves with no filter, a few saucy comments at the end 

A/N: somehow these headcanon posts (that aren’t actually headcanons, just me being lazy and not wanting to write full sentences and paragraphs) are my most popular posts. And I don’t get it, but since I’m a people pleaser, have another one :) 

it started from the beginning really

when Gandalf had proposed the idea of you joining the quest for several reasons, some of the Dwarves bursted out in complaints

because how DARE he suggest they needed the help of a human 

they didn’t say it so politely of course 

makalfûna bintarg siginkann didn’t exactly mean ‘that lovely human over there’

but Gandalf always gets his way so off on the quest you went

the first couple of days most of the Dwarves kept muttering to themselves or each other about you 

not necessarily all bad things, but there was a lot of complaining involved

it wasn’t your fault you’d never ridden a horse or pony before 

shocking right, living in Middle Earth?

but you were trying 

it just happened to be that you and your horse didn’t really got along

which resulted in a few situations you’d rather not find yourself in 

at least not in front of a dozen judgemental Dwarves and one wizard who was enjoying this far too much 

like your stubborn horse suddenly taking off 

cue two or three Dwarves - usually Fíli, Kíli and Bofur - trying to chase you and calm your horse while the others were laughing their arse off

or you failing to properly mount your horse, falling off countless times

that’s when the Dwarves became bolder and amused themselves with saucy comments and jokes on your behalf

all in Khuzdul of course

because some of those comments were definitely not meant for your ears

h o w e v e r

you might have failed to mention that you understood Khuzdul just fine

one of the reasons Gandalf insisted on you joining btw 

you spent most of your childhood around the Dwarves of Ered Mithrin (the Grey Mountains) who traded with your village and picked up the sacred language very easily 

you always had a knack for learning new languages

at first it was rather difficult to ignore the jabs and insults, pretending you didn’t have a clue what they were saying

but over time you kind of got used to it and it became easier to just ignore them 

you almost gave yourself away once when Kíli asked his brother to throw his water flask and Fíli answered that his was empty as well 

and you automatically reached for your own flask to give the brothers 

but then you realised they had been speaking Khuzdul

you stopped yourself just in time

close call

other times you had too much fun pretending you didn’t understand them 

especially when Thorin divided the tasks when setting up camp and he spoke Khuzdul out of habit

“… and the rest of you go gather wood for the fire”

everyone went to go about their tasks and you would still stand in the middle, arms crossed, a smile on your face, waiting 

after a few minutes Thorin would roll his eyes and repeat the order in Westron

“Now why didn’t you say so? I would already be done with it by now.”

you loved to get a rise out of the Dwarven king

you promised yourself you would never tell them you understood every word they said 

because to be honest, you were rather enjoying yourself and you could only tell them once, right?

but then one night when you were all sitting around the campfire after dinner, you finally broke your promise

it started rather innocent with the usual comments about your terrible riding skills 

in Khuzdul of course

cowards 

Dwarves usually have not much of a filter to begin with 

add some ale they picked up en route and there’s no stopping them 

you tried to ignore it and kept your eyes on the campfire 

counting to ten, then a hundred, two hundred, …

biting your tongue to keep yourself quiet

but then Fíli - who had actually been rather nice to you - had to join in on the fun

“I bet I can teach her how to ride well”

wiggling eyebrows

cue boisterous laughter from most of the Dwarves

Thorin shaking his head in vicarious embarrassment 

some of the others agreeing with Fíli

“I bet you could!”

that was the last drop for you  

you could’ve accepted it from anyone but him  

not Fíli

you looked him straight in the eye

and answered in fluent Khuzdul with a deadpan face

“I don’t know if you’re strong enough to handle me, son of Durin.”

deafening silence

Gandalf snickering in his beard and then choking on his pipe smoke because he tried to keep his laughter in and horribly failing

all the Dwarves looking at you with wide eyes

“You… You can understand what we’re saying? You speak Khuzdul?”

you made a face that basically said ‘what do you think?’ 

smiling to yourself when you saw the realisation on Thorin’s face that you had heard and understood everything they said about you

you bid them all a good night after that

the sound of Thorin smacking them on their head lulling you to sleep

PERMANENT TAGLIST

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[xoxomoondrop]

Hello! I was wondering if you could write me a request?

It would be a platonic one-shot with the 2018 turtles brothers (all of them pls).

Something angsty a 13-year-old reader, please? Like; fem!reader who's living with them and is a happy and energized sweetheart but, one day in the early morning when she wants to watch Donnie working he is just like rlly stressed and kicks her out in a kind of rough (but inentionally) way and so the reader goes to every brother asking to spend some time with them but the story repeats itself and so, at the end of the day (at 10pm or so-) the turtles finish the thing they were doing and start looking for the reader all over the place with no success at all. At the end (about 1am or so-) they find her asleep and hidden in a closet, and with several tear traces down her face, they feel bad so they led her to bed, but at the next day reader is just oddly quiet and avoids talking and spending time with the boys. And so they realize that they've just turned their happy and energized sweetheart into a little quiet and (a bit) scared mess who feels like a burden to them.

(I'm sorry if it's too specific but I always detail things xd)

Just a burden

Rise!tutles x teen!reader

Summary: you just want to spend some time with your favourite turtles, but it seems nobody is free to hang out with you. They all look busy with something and you feel like a burden to them.

Note: she/her pronouns, reader is 13, angst to fluff because y’all just love to suffer, platonic relationship.

Just another boring day and certainly she couldn’t handle it anymore. Four hours passed since the girl decided to start a tv serie but it was getting boring and it wasn’t exciting her at all.

Also it were four hours since she saw the brothers. They usually weren’t this calm, beside Donnie who was always locked up in his lab, and (Y/n) missed them even if she saw them everyday.

Lazily she got up from her spot on the beanbag and turned off the projector. Silence was all she heard. The sight of all the turtles being busy and most importantly silent was a rare occurrence.

But then a faint music reached her ears and she immediately recognised the beat and who was playing it. Passing through the living room she noticed the desert environment, (Y/n) fast-walked to the lab and immediately she noticed that the lab’s door was half-open allowing her to enter silently.

Donnie’s figure was bent over his work desk obviously working on an new invention. The music was blasting loudly so he didn’t heard her enter the room.

With quick footsteps the girl approached the soft shell turtle and lightly tapped his shoulder, catching his attention. However, he turned around with a frown on his face, evidently irritated by the sudden interruption, but fortunately the girl didn’t noticed thanks to the goggles he was wearing.

(Y/n) smiled widely at the turtle, slightly jumping on her spot “What brings you here?” Asked Donnie with a monotone voice bringing his attention back on his invention “Can I help you?” A little shock from the creation caught her by surprise but annoyed the turtle more.

“No, you can’t. This project is dangerous and could seriously harm you since you are quite the clumsy type” snarked back Donnie picking a screwdriver from the work desk “Pretty please! I promise I’ll be careful!” Pleaded the girl intertwining her hands together. Again another shock made her jump.

Donnie sighed loudly “Please (N/n), don’t make thinks more difficult…” “But…I just wanna help Don” the little one wasn’t so cheerful like before “And I said you can’t, why don’t you understand?” The turtle raised his voice a few, his eyebrows now furrowed.

The two of them didn’t talk for some minutes, the room was still filled with loud music and sometime with some rumours coming from Donnie’s work desk. The girl stayed still next to him, not moving a single muscle.

A bitter expression was printed on her face “Please Don—“ the turtle smashed his hands on the work desk and locked his gaze with the girl’s “I already declared my decision and told you the reason behind that! Now it’s not a good time!” The sudden volume change of his voice startled (Y/n) and with a devastated and sorrow expression she quickly left the lab, leaving the turtle alone.

She understood that he was working hard on a project, but he always let her to stay and that was the first time he raised his voice to her. In that moment he reminded her of his father.

When she was out of the lab, she heard rumours coming from the skate ramp, probably being Leo or Mikey. Cautiously she approached the ramp and her eyes fell on Leo’s frustrated figure. He was practicing some tricks but somehow he didn’t manage to achieve them.

The sound of the skate filled the room, followed by annoying grunts.

Only after some minutes also noticed the little girl watching from afar and a little smile appeared on his face. Relieved, the girl smiled back.

“Hey (N/n) I didn’t notice you, what’s up?” The girl remained silent but then she answered with a small smile, gazing for a brief moment the skateboard “Do you mind teaching me some tricks?”

The red-eared turtle sighed loudly, still quite frustrated “Sorry buddie, but right now I’m quite busy. I need to learn these tricks so I can beat Mikey’s record” “Is it really that…important?” She noticed how Leo furrowed his brows and clenched his jaw. She thought that he was also irritated by her presence. “It is important for me” and with these words he continued practicing his tricks.

Again (Y/n) felt her little heart ache , those words hit her like bullets, making her feel a heavy pressure on her heart. No words came out from her mouth and she felt her throat tighten, her eyes stinging from the tears she tried to hold back.

Maybe Mikey could help her with these awful feelings. Mikey always knew how to cheer her up. Quickly she left the red-eared turtle alone and proceeded with quick steps to Mikey’s room.

His orange curtain was closed and (Y/n) heard some noises and things falling from there. She fought with her mind if she should enter or not. Then a breath left her lips and courageously she entered the room.

Mikey was seated in the middle of his room, surrounded by cans of paint, pencils, markers, glitters and coloured paper. The turtle was quietly muttering to himself while working on something.

“Mikey, do you have a minute?” She softly whispered and the orange turtle turned his head but his eyes were still glued on his work. A little smile traced his lips “(Y/n), do you need something?” Mikey’s voice was energetic and he had no trace of irritation.

Still the girl chose her words carefully “I…I wanted to know if you were free” the box turtle turned fully towards the girl, a gente smile on his face “I’m sorry (N/n), but right now I’m not. As soon as I'm done here we'll do whatever you want!”

The girl didn’t push farther but just nodded her head as a response and then left the room, letting the turtle continue his work.

She passed the dojo, catching Raph training all alone. She immediately noticed how hard he was working out and how his face had a concentrated expression.

Without making a sound she reached her room and with a quick motion she took her favourite blanket and her little teddy bear. She could feel her eyes water again but hardly tried to contain the tears.

Quietly sobbing she closed herself in her closet and curled herself up, bringing her teddy bear close to ger chest and covering herself with the blanket. Slowly she drifted of to sleep.

( ༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺ )

It was 1 am when Donnie finally decided to take a break to refill his now empty mug. When he entered the kitchen he easily heard his brothers talking loudly in the projector room, but among those voices he didn’t hear hers.

He didn’t forget how he acted to (Y/n), feeling guilty due to his horrible behaviour, so he tried to end quickly his work in order to made up to her by spending some time with her.

“I told you, I don’t know where she is! I tried looking in my room, but she isn’t there!” Leo’s loud voice reached Donnie’s ears and arched an eyebrow.

“What’s going on here?” All the turtles turned towards the soft shell turtle and immediately surrounded him. “Oh Donnie we don’t know where she is—“ “She could be literally everywhere!” “What if she went out?!” Donnie furrowed his eyebrows “Wait, I am not understanding a single thing you’re saying!”

“We can’t find (Y/n)! We searched her for hours and we can’t find her! We checked everywhere but nothing!” Raph panicked then he was slapped by Dr. Delicate Touch.

Donnie’s eyes went wide and he immediately rushed to his lab, followed closely by his brothers. “This is why I put a tracker on every of you, for situations like this…” said while checking something on his computer. A pink dot appeared on the screen and the turtles stared at it confused.

“Strange…it says that she is still in the lair” Muttered the purple turtle, still checking the computer.

“Then we have to search deeper!” “Have you guys checked her room?” At Donnie’s words the other three turtles freezed and stared at each other. “Weeeeee were about to do that right now!” And with that Leo, Raph and Mikey stormed out of the lab while Donnie slowly followed behind.

When they entered the girl’s room, they instantly noted how she wasn’t in her bed. Frenetically all the turtles began checking every little space in her room, hoping to find her there.

A sudden gasp caught their attention. Raph was standing in front of the girl’s closet and his big hands were cupping his mouth in disbelief. “Raph what—“ Mikey was interrupted with a shush by Raph and the snapping turtle motioned his brothers to come closer.

At the sight, the turtles couldn’t believe it. (Y/n) was curled up in her favourite blanket while holding her teddy bear, but her face was traced by dry tears and of course that sight broke the turtle’s hearts.

They knew very well that it was their fault if she hid there. Carefully Raph picked her up and gently tucked her in her bed.

The next day, when (Y/n) woke up, they knew that something was off: she wouldn’t approach them energetically like before or ask to spend some time together, instead she isolated herself, became quieter and spend most of the time in her room, alone.

If she had a problem, she didn’t ask for help to Donnie. If she wanted to try a new hobby, she didn’t ask Leo to do it with her. If she had a project in her mind, she didn’t ask Mikey to help her. If she wanted to train, she didn’t ask Raph to work out with her.

She was never going to ask for their help or for anything else. She did not want to be a burden more than she already was.

[rut045-blog]

The theme of this story is very close to me, I'm crying 😭😭😭😭😭

[rut045-blog]

Oh my god, I'm crying

[mysticpidge]

i've decided to write the angsty leo fic first, i'll post it on ao3 when i write it, heres the teaser:

A recent college graduate finds themself going back on their word, doing the one thing they swore they'd never do again. On a bitter winter night, they retrace their steps for the first time in four years after doing it mentally every night. For closure, they tell themself. For closure. He won't even know I'm back. How could he? Everything is so familiar, like at any moment they would blink and find themself back at the moment their life changed forever. The day Leonardo Hamato left their heart buried in the snow to freeze over without even a glance back.

[gaypatchouli]

Uno mas, but not last one

Leo x male!reader: reader had an idea and asks Mikey to draw/paint a red-eared slider shell pattern on his back and surprises Leo with it! Bonus if he has Mikey add red eye stripes, and double bonus if happy churring and cuddles ensue. Dunno if turtles have clingy instincts, but maybe Leo could take a deep dive in these hypothetical instincts and just incoherently latch on to Y/N for a couple of hours and make happy noises.

(*one of the brothers approaches*

Leo: *hiss*)

~🌺👸

God yes i love you please request more it brings so much joy to me, thank you. I hope you love it! Also the only thing I wholly knew about that sort of thing that his species do is rub their heads on things they are attracted to. Also I gave Leo insecurity because yes. 《{Fluff}》

rise!Leon x m!Reader ----------------------

The door to Leo's room burst open, what fell through was a slightly depressed looking turtle man seeking comfort. He fell face forward onto his bed with a slight wave-like gesture at you. "Hey Y/N," He questioned, his voice muffled through the whole face-being-pressed-into-the-mattress thing. "Do you- " He hesitated, flipping around and sitting up to look at you.

"Hmm?" You hummed, closing your book and turning your attention to him.

"Do you think I'm, like, attractive?" He said, curling back on himself and not waiting for you to respond, "Like, I know I am. Probably," He added, quietly. "But like why do I have stripes like this? Ya know? None of my brothers do and none of them have this whole situation" He gestured at his face, "like I do."

"I just think it looks weird on me, that's all." He sighed into his hands. "It's probably just me. You'd look great with it, I bet. I just suck ass." He finished, dramatically as he fell backwards onto the bed.

"I dunno," You said, walking over. "I think you look pretty hot. But that could just be my awful awful taste." You smiled, raising your eyebrows, "Don'tcha think?"

He giggled, "But of course my dear sir," He began, standing from his bed with a trademark flair that hadn't been there since he had come into the room. You'd missed it.

His hand spun dramatically in the diection of the doorway he had come through moments earlier. "Your chariot awaits you," He winked.

You laughed loudly before regaining your im-posh-ter accent. [ha im funny] "A chariot?" You scoffed loudly.

He exclaimed, a shocked hand placed against his heart. "But of course someone such as you shan't be using your most uh- " His hand waved around as he tried to think of what word he was so desperately searching for. In truth, neither could the author. "Shit." He said under his breath, giving up.

You laughed, walking over to hug him with a sort of silent joy. His rant had given you an idea.

-----

"Hey, Mikey?"

"Yeah?"

"I've got a project."

-----

You smiled down at the new markings added to your arms, face and back. "Thanks, Mikester. Looks awesome!"

Mikey grinned, "No probles, Y/N! I'm sure Leo'll love it."

-----

Leo was once again sulking in his room, lying on the floor face-down as you walked back in. "Ah," He sat up, closing his eyes and scrambling to his feet before bowing nobly. "Master Y/N, of course. How do you doo~ holy shit." His jaw hung open, his eyes with a permanently shocked look in them.

"Dude," He whispered into the room.

Before him stood you, covered in the same markings as Leo. Mikey had thought to add a bald cap just to be extra. You'd nixxed it.

Leo's eyes practically had turned into hearts and his own was pumping harder than he thought it ever had. His face was crimson red and his hands had wrapped around you in a tight hug as he fell back with you onto his bed, promptly clutching onto you.

You laughed, "So you like it?"

"No shit." He breathed, rubbing his cheek against you [think him in the ending of the senor hueso and capitan piel episode with don suave] with a sigh.

----- hours later because you're absolutely right he would do that

His nose was pressed into your cheek as the two of you laid there happily. Donnie had come in at one point and after glancing at you, promptly left without a word.

You yawned, turning to face Leon. "So do you get what I was trying to say earlier? Did you learn anything from this?"

He smiled and curled closer into you, "Yeah. I was right," He smiled. "You do look hot in stripes."

[rut045-blog]

I love this.👽

[temmtamm]

Could I ask for some HCs of the turtles with a chubby reader who is insecure about her/their body?

ᥫ᭡ROTTMNT GROUP W/H CHUBBY S/Oᥫ᭡

(Asks are open and appreciated)

✰RAPH✰

Least likely of them all to realize that it's a problem for you, mostly because he doesn't recognize it as a problem.

You'd think with how big he is into sparring/fighting that he'd underestimate you when you two spar due to your size, but it's quite the contrary. 'Meat Sweats' is one of his biggest threats and he's plus-sized, not to mention the fact that his idol Ghost bear is also a bit on the chubby side.

When you're having a bad day where you're just really insecure, he'd usually spend the day by your side or cuddling. It takes a lot of strength for his hyperactive brain to stay put for longbut he'd gladly go through that so that wya he could comfort you.

He doesn't really know how to comfort you besides being there or small words of encouragement but he'll still try to be of help in some sort of way.

He's most likely the one to get into a fistfight over anyone talking bad about your weight.

✦LEO✦

Doesn't really take it into consideration. like, of course he knows you're plus sized but he never really considered it anything worth putting though into- It just was a part of you to him.

Unlike Raphael, He is more likely to use his words as a way to comfort you, such as reminders that he finds you attractive when you are insecure or even just making it a mission of his to give you daily compliments so that way you don't forget that he loves you.

He understands that somedays you just have a bad body image, so on those days he is more than happy to provide you with blankets or baggy clothing until you feel better.

He will not tolerate insults towards your body of any kind, whether its from you or anyone else. He will threaten you with the portal sword if you keep insulting your figure. (He won't actually do it of coarse)

✿MIKEY✿

Doesn't really understand that it's an actual problem for you.

Like, he finds you pretty so obviously you and everyone in the world should/would agree right??

Deserves his 'Mr. Delicate touch' nickname cause once your insecure or not in the right headspace that day, he would have the most emotionally raw conversations with you listing off all the ways he loves you and how he believes your body is pretty.

Least likely to pick fights with others over their insults, but he will definitely go off on him. He may be sweet, but that doesn't mean he'll be kind to everyone- Especially when they are talking shit about his S/O.

➷DONNIE➹

He never really discusses your weight with you a lot for similar reasons as Mikey and Leo.

He feels like you already would know that he loves you and your body considering you two are dating, therefore he might have some trouble reminding you of how he loves you.

When you're open with him about your insecurities though, he tries his best to console you. He usually tried to by also being open with his insecuritoes as well so you two can be vulnerable together.

When today isn't one of your days, he'll make a temporary pause on his tech/work to just lay in bed with you and spend a lazy day together watching YouTube videos until you're alright.

Thanks for reading ♥︎