'learn how to suck dick + it'll make you less of a raving sexist' to liz is not harassment, but me following people with this account is..
as for being sorry about what ive done since liz says i should apologize, to be honest i was sorry from the start that this is what its taken for liz to show support for trans women and think twice about sexually harassing another
every other approach that was done with patience and kindness was met with lies and the same effort from liz to say well that didn’t happen, and if it did, it wasnt that bad, and if it was thats not a big deal, and if it is thats not my fault, and if it was I didnt mean it, and if i did you deserved it
as for my hysterical, lunatic demands, euuh.... do better, have some water
hey btw if you send in an ask, while i appreciate what info ive been given and will hold onto it, not publishing more asks. i check up on this between a fuck ton of other things, and im sending all my love to those who have chosen not to fall info terfism for a gimmick blog, many who have by daysleftofsecondterm/lizluvscupcakes are kids who she's bragged about manipulating before
unless liz sexually harasses another trans woman in the name of fighting misandry or does something similar, this blog stays inactive. i was pushed to create it by seeing how they used daysleftofsecondterm to continue to joke about sexually harassing dorothy, it's not something i intend to drag out.
i will compile a list of reading on the subjects of transfeminism and transmisogyny. if you don't understand why sexually harassing trans women is unacceptable in any circumstance or are otherwise confused, there is understanding to be gained, what i cannot do is help each individually figure out what's holding them back from doing that on their own.
if you think it is only an online thing when women dont take well to being told to shut up and learn to suck dick, i dont think youve talked to many women.
tumblr the sjw website where if you get mad when some tells you to learn to suck dick to stop hating men you'll be told to log off where apparently women are happy to be told they are manhating bitches who need to sexually please men to be better
misandry = any dislike expressed towards men for whatever reason, occurs as much as if not worse than misogyny
transmisogyny = any dislike expressed towards groypers, and not transmisogyny (liz does not believe in the existence of transmisogyny or TME/TMA), but transphobia
not transmisogyny = telling a trans woman to learn how to suck dick to stop being a misandrist
hey btw if you send in an ask, while i appreciate what info ive been given and will hold onto it, not publishing more asks. i check up on this between a fuck ton of other things, and im sending all my love to those who have chosen not to fall info terfism for a gimmick blog, many who have by daysleftofsecondterm/lizluvscupcakes are kids who she's bragged about manipulating before
thats exactly it daysleftofsecondterm/lizluvscupcakes!
while saying shit like 'freaks [derogatory]' and 'learn how to suck dick + itll make you less of a raving misandrist' is wrong, its not whatsoever impossible to move past. thats a nice excuse not to do better, and thats a choice of a talking point to fabricate having been my goal, when the reason why this keeps happening is you infantilize yourself and your bigotry.
you say some shocking stuff, but no, theres no worth in gasping over what you say when the issue is how you view trans women as deserving of sexual harassment, cannot take responsibility for having sexually harassed as many as you have without a 'but-'
empty apologies made to save face.. do i need to say that with or without the ukulele, nobody feels better for your performative behavior?*
how is anyone supposed to communicate with you when not playing along with your bigotry gets more sexual harassment and a block??
I hate when non-women make jokes about hating women. When men do it it makes me want to stab them repeatedly but I hate when nb people do it too. Like at minimum it makes me trust you less.
I hate when people make jokes about how much they hate a gender. It just ain’t cool. It’s not very nice. I don’t see why there’d ever be a reason to do it ever.
imagine telling a woman "learn how to suck dick" to shut her up when she's speaking ill of men and then imagining that you are fighting rather than enforcing sexism. this is indistinguishable from the crudest bullshit that antifeminist men shout at women. you sound like some asshole on the street. legitimately, what the fuck is wrong with you. you should be deeply ashamed of yourself.
Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Can't you just be nice to each other?
Like, try to understand each other for a minute. You have on one side queer people saying that transphobes don't consider, regard or treat trans men as men, and on the other queer people saying that trans women are affected by transmisogyny. And you treat each other as enemies?
Disclaimer for the reading comprehension website: I'm not arguing for universal niceness. You can tell a fascist to go fuck themselves. But is that what's going on here? Aren't these people that we act towards like this the ones we should have a community with?
Yeah, don't tell a woman to learn how to suck a dick. Also don't say you hate men, esp when the context makes it seem targeted at queer men? But also don't hijack posts about transmisogyny to talk about the shit trans men deal with. But also why are you partaking in this toxic discourse. But also also... you could go on forever. This post is a trainwreck at each word, as is this site's culture and this useless discourse.
Yea tumblr intersex and trans masc communities have a transmisogyny problem, but we trans fems do also have problems with intersexism and oppression olympics, and to be honest internalized transphobia as well. So what are you going to do about it? Keep parroting talking points that probably originate from right wing trolls, partake in harassment campaigns started by terfs, virtue post about historical psy-ops and learn nothing?
@dorothylarouge, @thoughtgod, @lizluvscupcakes, how about all of you apologize to each other.
Genuinely cannot believe this fucking asshole tried to do this half-assed “apology” which says nothing about what was actually done and does not address me at all. The absolute unmitigated gall.
Alright, we’re spilling the tea, so if you like that kind of thing, yay? I’m really sorry to everyone who doesn’t give a fuck, just ignore this post I guess? Once again I’m REALLY sorry it came to this.
This is a long read and I am SO sorry for that. If you don’t want to read everything I’ll include a couple TL;DR’s here.
TL;DR [joking]: a bunch of transgender terfs got mad at me for accidentally triggering someone and are now livid they haven’t been able to bully me into bigotry.
TL;DR [serious]: I said something shitty that accidentally triggered someone and a bunch of people have taken that to mean I am the devil incarnate and have decided that since I’m not giving them a reaction to outsource one from you.
Anyone else who wants the tea, keep reading below, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
As far as I’m clear, the trouble started with this post I made from my main account. Censored here because Mickey Mouse will NOT take off his head on the clock; I assure you the last addition did come from me, though.
(I won’t tell you who the OP is either. Please don’t ask me to.)
Before you say anything, I know. I know this was a shitty thing to say but I was angry and annoyed I appeared to have followed this person when they feel comfortable just blurting this out. That isn’t the sort of company I prefer to keep.
Before we go on I should probably explain the dick-sucking thing.
It’s in reference to a joke of a theory I’ve had with myself for years. Basically it says- actually, there’s a screenshot of me explaining it to one of these people, hang on.
Obviously this theory isn’t great for, like, a lot of reasons, but we’ll get to that. What we have to talk about next is the OP.
I noticed the detail of the OP being trans as I was blocking them (they have a trans flag in their bio but I refuse to share any other details, I will not drag them into this), but didn’t think much of it. I thought “ah, it’s a shame this person fell into the trap of gender essentialism when they should have every reason not to. Ah well.”
About ten minutes later I deleted my addition because I decided this wasn’t the day to explore how trans people can fall into the trap of terfism; I’ve since learned that trans people have developed their own form of terfism that’s meant to be trans inclusive. (Thank you to the very kind stranger for explaining it to me over DMs.)
You know. Because the problem with radical feminism is the exclusion of trans people from all the bigoted fun.
I have a million thoughts about that but we’re not ready to expound upon that. Maybe another day.
Anyway, that aside, it appeared that the damage had already been done. I received many messages and MANY asks regarding this incident. I won’t screenshot them here, because I don’t want to dox anyone, regardless of how cruel they were. But I will copy-paste a few here; perhaps I’ll include some of my responses (if you go to my main blog and search “no reblogs for you” or my ask tag you should find them; private message me and I’ll tell you what it is). I will fully explain the context of what was said at the end so skip past this indented section if you want to know.
“Professor Daycount, why didn’t you just screenshot them like you do with other asks?” Partly to keep them anonymous and partly because. The asks they sent are too damn long. Several asks invoked the original poster’s name and obviously I didn’t want that. They are referred to as a trans woman multiple times which is probably vague enough (being a trans person on tumblr is about as unique as being a fork in the kitchen, for how much this site’s moderation guidelines seem to hate them). Also several references to specific details regarding their trauma that I obviously won’t include. If I’ve missed anything, I’m sorry. Please know I’ve done my best.
The Ask:
If you’re genuinely confused about why a right winger shot a right winger: they’re on opposite sides of their ideology’s debate around the veneer or civility. Charlie believed fascists should hide their intentions behind progressive buzzwords and debate and denying any desire to commit harm, and the shooter was a Groyper, a subfaction who believes they should all go fully mask off and lean into wanting genocide and ethnic cleansing and shit. He was removing an obstacle to his goals.
My response:
Ahhhh that makes sense. I did see the word “Groyper” bandied about, but I thought it was like. Another word for asshole. I didn’t realize it was yet another subdivision of bigotry. That makes a lot more sense, thank you.
The Ask:
Also instead of apologizing vaguely on the post after being prompted to, if you actually feel bad, maybe delete the post and go apologize directly to the people you said that shit to, while acknowledging the specifics of why you now understand it was shitty
My Response:
… Ah. I see. You were being helpful so you could yell at me some more.
I did delete the post. I don’t know why you’re all still coming here.
And I stand by my theory that knowledge of how to perform oral makes you less inclined toward bigotry, and I stand by not being sexist. But I am sorry that I got everybody so upset and derailed that person’s post.
The Ask:
im gonna be real you should not stand by what you said you said some insanely sexist shit. like absolutely terrible. you should take some time to actually reflect and think about it and listen to what people are saying instead of flippantly writing them off as "mad at you" because youll never improve if you cant acknowledge your mistakes and actually LEARN from them
My Response:
Considering I’ve been called a racist, a sexist, a transphobe, a sexual offender, among other things today? I don’t really want to prostrate myself and beg for forgiveness.
I am sorry I got everyone so upset and I did word what I said poorly (it didn’t occur to me until after the fact that you could interpret what I said as “lesbians should suck dick and become ‘normal’” as opposed to “knowing how to suck dick will make you more empathetic to penis-owners”). And I shouldn’t have spoken in anger, which wasn’t conducive to the issue.
But at this point all that’s happening is that I am getting yelled at. Nothing happening after the initial incident has been constructive with the soul exception of one post.
The Ask:
hi!! you're probably getting a lot of messages about the thing you said, i know this is just another, but to be honest that interaction freaked me out so badly i wanted to reach out about it.
you've demonstrated an awareness that nobody is immune to falling for terf ideology, which is good, that's something not everyone can recognize. however, i think the idea of what terf ideology is has been getting twisted. terfs are not entirely defined by hating men. they may espouse hatred of men in general and of the patriarchy, but many terfs have demonstrated that they see men as allies in their cause. there are a lot of men who are terfs. terf ideology is great for men, in fact, since it distinguishes men and women as (the only) two immutable, biologically opposite categories and posits that men have enormous and unassailable social power over women. part of the reason why trans women are the main target of terf ideology is because they represent an inversion of that purported dynamic and threaten its sanctity. that is why terfs threaten trans women with physical, social, political, and sexual violence-- they fundamentally believe that trans women cannot and should not exist. couching this transmisogynistic violence in the language of white feminism is the hallmark of terfism, not hating men.
in addition, there is a legitimate difference between women hating men and men hating women, especially considering intersectional forms of marginalization. trans women are targets of hatred, abuse, and oppression from all sides of the political and gender spectrums. they are paid less, murdered more, and targeted by intense scrutiny and vitriol. expressing a hatred of men from that position grants them very little social power (and, as you've seen, usually invites harassment). trans women who hate men do not contribute to any structural oppression against men, since men are not and never have been oppressed for being men. women, especially trans women, experience this oppression from men daily. when a man or nonbinary person expresses hatred of women, they are taking advantage of and contributing to the structures of misogyny.
that's why people are angry. what you've done, knowingly or not, is call a transgender lesbian part of her oppressors for expressing how she feels, suggest that only men have dicks by making that part of your pro-men retort, and sexually harass her. if you don't see what you said as sexual harassment, try to imagine what it would sound like directed towards a cis woman-- and remember the long standing history of corrective rape used against lesbians, and how potent that is as a threat. in short, what you've done is try to correct a trans woman disliking men by sexually harassing her, which is far more terfy than anything she could ever do.
(as an aside, you mentioned that you see getting better at oral sex as something that will help moral development-- while i do think it is good for people to learn, no sexual act has any bearing on one's personal morals.)
i know this is a long message, but i sincerely hope you read all of it. if you have more questions or want to talk about this in good faith, you can message me. if anything i said made you reconsider or want to apologize for your words earlier, that would be fantastic. if you block me, well, at least i tried. i hope you have the day you deserve.
My Response:
I have in fact gotten several dozen messages regarding this incident. I will admit I am hedging my judgment on this particular message coming in good faith (as the one person I explained my theory to accused me of “lesbophobia”, which is odd considering some lesbians DO have dicks, real or otherwise, that could be sucked), but I will do my best to reach out, if only because the latest insult after 12 hours is “sexual predator” and I’m genuinely worried someone might SWAT me if something doesn’t change.
And by the way, if I was a sexual predator, wouldn’t telling me this person was raped be really counterproductive and very invasive? What if I got off on that knowledge? And even if you’re certain I don’t, it’s not your tale to tell. I haven’t said two words to the original poster and was more than happy to block them and be done with it. I keep getting dragged back to the original post (which I deleted after a few minutes) because you all keep coming back to me. If I was a sexual predator, then dragging me repeatedly back into a situation with my victim that I keep trying to leave seems really counterproductive.
Anyway.
This person being assaulted is terrible. Them holding distrust is understandable. What isn’t acceptable is openly declaring “I HATE MEN”. There’s another post that I had to disable reblogs on describing religious trauma the same way. Your trauma and the circumstances surrounding it are not acceptable. You being bigoted towards an entire tangentially related group is also not acceptable.
I don’t know how much I can cosign the assertion that “men don’t experience sexism” considering how many black and brown men are considered rapists for just existing. And especially considering how many men in queer spaces are repeatedly told they’re “on thin ice” i.e. not really welcome, I’m REALLY not sure how much I can get onboard with this idea.
However, I am keeping an open mind and hoping that you are in fact here in good faith, so let’s get into the terf stuff.
I do agree that there is a fundamental difference in the response to sexism from people depending on how they present themselves. And that terfs are willing to use men to get what they want. This, in my view, is different from not hating men. This is just seeing men as potentially useful if not dangerous tools. To claim that terfs don’t hate men because they use men to get what they want seems a bit off.
If absolutely nothing else, I’m sorry I said something triggering to this person. I spoke in anger, and that wasn’t a good start to this conversation that we’re clearly not ready for anyway. I’m sorry I triggered them. And I’m sorry I triggered so many other people. I can disagree with everything else said (for the record you do make some good points), but I am sorry I clearly hurt so many people.
The Ask:
So are you ever going to acknowledge and apologize for sexually harassing a trans woman or are you just gonna keep this "everyone's mad at me for no reason" thing going? That's not even cracking into the lesbophobia and bio essentialism of your statement, but at the very least you could acknowledge that what you did was messed up. And no, I'm not yelling at you, I'm telling you to treat trans women better.
My Response:
I did not sexually harass anyone. I said something shitty and it triggered them. I’m not trying to keep getting involved. I swear the only reason we’re still talking about this is because it keeps getting brought up. If I’d had my way I’d have had them blocked and forgotten about them by now.
This will be the last ask I answer about this. If you really want to help this person, stop shoving them back at someone you think is a predator. Reblog a version of that post that doesn’t have my reply frozen into it like a bug in amber, and let them forget this ever happened.
In case you also don’t know what a “Groyper” is, here you go.
The only constructive post in question is now deleted, but it essentially said that the entire thing was ridiculous and we should all apologize to OP and to each other. I did unblock OP enough to reblog with an apology but then immediately re-blocked them.
And by the way the only thing they said that made sense was this:
“(as an aside, you mentioned that you see getting better at oral sex as something that will help moral development-- while i do think it is good for people to learn, no sexual act has any bearing on one's personal morals.)”
This person went on to call me incoherent and maybe softly accused me of AI generated responses (which I DID NOT DO by the way) and their only decent point, frankly, was put better here:
This went on for quite a while. And I noticed many of them called me sexist, racist, a terf, a sexual predator and a lot of other things. All things I’ve been called before (this is tumblr, I’m used to that) But that last one got my attention. I kept wondering if I had triggered this person beyond the ability to apologize for it, and if what I said really was as horrific as all that. I reasoned it must be- after all the original author didn’t contact me once, but it seemed their entire following was making it known that I had fucked up BAD. So I told myself “well if all their friends are speaking out to defend them, then I must have done something horrible. At the very least I triggered them something dreadful and their friends are speaking out against me.”
But the thought occurred to me (as I’m sure you’ve noticed), that if this really was about this person’s safety, then why would they continue bringing up this person’s trauma unsolicited and to someone they perceive as unsafe?
All this went on for about eighteen hours with the occasional “kill yourself”, “delete your blog” and “fuck you [insert slur or crime or insult of your preference here]” thrown in for flavour.
And then one of them sent me this:
Believe it or not this was what made me realize the entire thing was bullshit. Not people outing their “friend’s” sexual trauma, not the “lol men don’t experience bigotry silly” bullshit. Not even the “its lesbophobic” comment. None of that. It took this idiot saying the quiet part loud to get me to realize that I hadn’t messed up, I just stepped in a hornet’s nest.
I made one last post addressed to the mob on my main blog:
Complete with a set of tags:
Then I went to bed. In the morning upon seeing five messages telling me to kill myself or have sex with myself, I posted this:
And I thought that was it. I figured they’d get bored when I didn’t respond to any of their tantrum and find someone else to annoy. They didn’t. I was first alerted by my friend @truth-bound that someone had made an account about how misogynistic I am, but I blocked it and moved on. Then someone told me about @daysleftofsecondterms which is ALSO a hate blog about me. This one I did take the time to report, you can see I did so here;
💬 13 🔁 0 ❤️ 100 · Apparently someone else has decided to start bothering me and claiming I’m a bigger misogynist than [insert misogynistic
That one I WILL post a link to because it’s my post on this blog, the reblogs are off, and the damage from looking at it seems minimal. I also reported the hateblog on my main account, and I have no word on the reports regarding either of them.
I thought, “surely this is it. Surely NOW they’ll get bored and find someone else to annoy.” And well, they did. Well, they dug up an old copypasta I made in the throes of a fandom war that got ugly, but to be fair they did stop irritating ME.
But to be less fair, they started annoying you. The guests on my blog who are just here to know the daycount. According to my guests testimonials, @ruthlesslycurious has been following people who visit and sending them screenshots of shit I’ve said like leaflets from a scientologist. Telling them about fandom copypastas I’ve made and ship wars I’ve fought in, about DMs I engaged with when I thought these freaks were just upset and protective friends, about things I’ve said that are just kind of shitty. Special shoutout to the guy who said “this isn’t your first controversy” like my brother in christ this is a tumblr blog.
That was where I HAD to draw the line. Because you guys are just here for the daycount. You aren’t here for whatever crusade these freaks [derogatory] have decided to go on, and you know what, I probably wouldn’t have reported @daysleftofsecondterms if they were at least keeping an accurate daycount. If you don’t like me so much you need to make your own daycount blog with blackjack and misandry, that’s completely your right. What is NOT your right is harassing and confusing the guests to this blog. What if someone comes to your shitty drama blog just looking for the daycount and finds nothing but drama bullshit about some random tumblr user they don’t know and don’t care about? What if that’s the last straw for someone? What if they see the daycount blog doesn’t care about the daycount and the world as much as they care about petty personal drama and-?
You know what let’s not finish that thought. I am not psychologically ready for that thought.
I don’t know what these hateblogs have on them nor do I care. I don’t care that two people found a fanfiction I wrote about The Lorax (2012) and left these extremely funny comments:
What I care about is people being annoyed for having the audacity to follow me when I won’t say bigotry is woke. I’m so sorry you all got dragged into all this here on my daycount blog. I’m sorry I triggered someone so badly, and I’m sorry for upsetting everyone else involved in this schism so much they had no choice but to keep it up. Regardless of whether or not you or I think what I did was wrong or even whether or not it was, I’m sorry I made you so uncomfortable and angry and upset.
You know what I’m NOT sorry for? I’m not sorry for saying misandry sucks and trans people are scarily bad at realizing when they’re falling into terfism. I’m not sorry for refusing to play into the idea that men are somehow lesser organisms that can’t experience bigotry. I’m not sorry for saying that hating men is a skill issue.
And for the record? Hating men is STILL a skill issue.
Update regarding the drama- if you don’t want to know just keep scrolling I’ll post something else soon.
Remember when I said this:
The only constructive post in question is now deleted, but it essentially said that the entire thing was ridiculous and we should all apologize to OP and to each other. I did unblock OP enough to reblog with an apology but then immediately re-blocked them.
So apparently @ruthlesslycurious WAS useful for something because they saved this reply. idk if it’s deleted or not but it is here! Thanks so much for saving this for me @ruthlesslycurious. I really appreciate it.
The one thing I don’t get is, usually whenever I even tangentially mention this incident, these people come out of the woodwork to yell at me. Sometimes they even come onto completely unrelated posts in order to tell me what a bad person I am. But it seems they’ve all gone totally silent on this post that’s about them.
Guys? Are you all still here? This post is just for you. Well, it’s really for my guests who you’ve been harassing but you can come play too, you know.
I hate when non-women make jokes about hating women. When men do it it makes me want to stab them repeatedly but I hate when nb people do it too. Like at minimum it makes me trust you less.
I hate when people make jokes about how much they hate a gender. It just ain’t cool. It’s not very nice. I don’t see why there’d ever be a reason to do it ever.
imagine telling a woman "learn how to suck dick" to shut her up when she's speaking ill of men and then imagining that you are fighting rather than enforcing sexism. this is indistinguishable from the crudest bullshit that antifeminist men shout at women. you sound like some asshole on the street. legitimately, what the fuck is wrong with you. you should be deeply ashamed of yourself.
Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Can't you just be nice to each other?
Like, try to understand each other for a minute. You have on one side queer people saying that transphobes don't consider, regard or treat trans men as men, and on the other queer people saying that trans women are affected by transmisogyny. And you treat each other as enemies?
Disclaimer for the reading comprehension website: I'm not arguing for universal niceness. You can tell a fascist to go fuck themselves. But is that what's going on here? Aren't these people that we act towards like this the ones we should have a community with?
Yeah, don't tell a woman to learn how to suck a dick. Also don't say you hate men, esp when the context makes it seem targeted at queer men? But also don't hijack posts about transmisogyny to talk about the shit trans men deal with. But also why are you partaking in this toxic discourse. But also also... you could go on forever. This post is a trainwreck at each word, as is this site's culture and this useless discourse.
Yea tumblr intersex and trans masc communities have a transmisogyny problem, but we trans fems do also have problems with intersexism and oppression olympics, and to be honest internalized transphobia as well. So what are you going to do about it? Keep parroting talking points that probably originate from right wing trolls, partake in harassment campaigns started by terfs, virtue post about historical psy-ops and learn nothing?
@dorothylarouge, @thoughtgod, @lizluvscupcakes, how about all of you apologize to each other.
Genuinely cannot believe this fucking asshole tried to do this half-assed “apology” which says nothing about what was actually done and does not address me at all. The absolute unmitigated gall.
daysleftofsecondterm/lizluvscupcakes you call sexual harassment tea, cannot even admit it was sexual harassment, you lie and laugh about it after, your apologies are done to afford the next punch down. truly, fix your heart or die
might be mad because how liz handled this has meant great harm to my friends. could be that, but then again im a hysterical loony tranny, huh?
i lied.... anyways, liz has a response for everything but this?
what, since every other comment like this has been deleted within seconds? oh-
bingo 😐
you arent the antichrist, liz, youre petty and lie to save face. if raunchy humor to you is saying trans women should learn to suck dick to be nicer to men, you are transmisogynistic
