if someone falls, the Most and Only important thing in the following ten seconds it to get them on their feet again. Nothing else in your entire world matters in those moments but making sure that person doesn’t get trampled.
if someone tells you they want out, it’s up to you to help them now. Remember in a pit, people (especially short or small people) get so packed in they may not be able to move more than half a foot in any direction (or at all if everyone’s really squeezing).
If someone tells you they need out, you may be the only person they get a chance to tell. So you help them. Sometimes the only way is to crowd surf to the back. Ask them if they want to/can be lifted up, and tell the people around you to send them BACKWARD, not toward the stage. Even in venues with no surfing rules, if they’re going to the back to escape, not to the stage, security generally gets what’s going on and may even be waiting to help them at the end of the crowd.
If you see someone obviously struggling, check in on them. I can’t tell you how many times some big dude asked little 16 year old me if I needed help. I remember fondly the time I saw ADTR when I was 16, and the crowd separated for a Wall Of Death TM (lmao), where the crowd split in half and each side charged the other. I by CHANCE ended up at the front of one side, and I was going to get Obliterated, and a guy next to me basically sort of lifted me above the crowd as we all collided so I landed on top of the pile instead of on bottom.
If you’re at a show where moshing isn’t a given, be Courteous of the mixed crowd. Last night I saw a cute electronica band, and there was a group of girls dressed in full on Lolita fashion. Heels, wigs, petticoats, etc. They were in the VERY front against the stage, where people often go to avoid the pit. I was surprised that people started shoving at all at this show, and I watched grown men try to ELBOW them into the pit. Who does that?
Moshing involves a lot of pushing and leaning and squeezing against people, but not grabbing. NEVER grabbing. If you’re grabbing people/their clothes, trying to move them/force them out of their spot, you’re not moshing, you’re attacking someone.
BASICALLY the point is to have fun, and that involves accountability. You may think “I’m in a huge, aggressive crowd.” But every single person there including you, is PART of that crowd, and you are responsible for your little microcosm of that.
My mom used to hate the concerts I went to as a teenager, but it remains true that pretty much everyone I ever Quite Literally ran into at those shows always made a point to look out for their fellow concert-goers, and that’s why I had fun.
Just be good to the people around you, so everyone can go home with good memories.
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