Fun facts for non trans women about tucking and why you shouldn’t demand it from us
This guide is for cis people and trans men and nonbinary people who don’t need to tuck
It will very easily cause us slight harm
It will very easily cause us great pain
It will very easily cause us permanent painful damage
It will probably make us infertile
It is extremely painful for many, for many it isn’t, but despite the pain we have to do it to be accepted
Around 40% of us can’t do it because our inguinal canals are tiny like they’re supposed to be, like medically if we do this we will 100% be permanently harmed
Why are you looking at our crotches
Just cause heppie tytoos or whatever your new fave drag queen is can do it, doesnt mean every amab can, the drag queen is also probably in pain
Fuck off, we don’t owe you anything
I haven’t done it so far, no one’s pointed it out, except Tumblr users who will “,just check in to see if I’m tuckin okay? I just wanna help you pass!”
I post a lot about binding and how it’s never completely 100% safe, but with all the tutorials I’ve reblogged on tucking, I’ve yet to see safety concerns like this, and while I fully support your decision if you are someone who needs to bind or tuck, I also believe you deserve to be aware of any possible health risks and make informed decisions.
I feel like this is the only safe place to talk about this, as I’ve talked about my sexual assault(s) experience on here several times.
I don’t feel like, for the most part, my story is safe on social media, especially when people I know personally (from high school, but it appears to have spread beyond that a bit too) are friends with me on said media. Tumblr is the only space I know where about TWO people I know from HS are friends with me (though I’ve made more since) and they are the only two people who are likely to know my experience and who I’m talking about (I’d be surprised if they didn’t know who I’m talking about to be frank).
I have a lot of paranoia around the topic of my assault, and when talking with people who are possibly friends with my assailant. But since I have him blocked on all forms of social media, and all these forms basically blacklist his name from all my friends’ likes comments and mentions from my sights, I can’t see who is and isn't a mutual of the two of us.
CW: I don’t even know what I want to get out of this tumblr post other than to vent my feelings and fears.
Also, please don’t think me harshly for Facebook stalking people who are liekly innocent please, I’m really panicked and concerned for my privacy and safety when it comes to keeping my entire life as secretive from him as possible. But if this is something that makes you nervous to read, go ahead and skip. If you truly want to know what is troubling me though, you can read.
Let’s just leave it at he’s in a particular “coven-esque” religion that makes him friends with many people I’ve grown to love and care about, and because of how closely-knit this religion is I can’t speak about him around these people without fear that word will get back to him and he will find me and hurt me (as my worst fears anticipate). I can see that a large number of my friends list is mutuals with his stepmother and mother, and I know this because well, I knew his mother and his stepmother has her husband (his father), and HIM in the cover photo of her Facebook page.
I honestly don’t know who I can confide in about this. My partner is lovely and supportive but whenever we get on the topic of him, his mood shifts to very hateful and violent, rather than just listening to my fears. Hell, even him saying “don’t worry I won’t let him hurt you again, and you’re safe” isn’t truly enough to make me actually feel safe and protected.
I want to be brave and just openly come out about my experience with him and talk about him using his name freely, without fear that word would get back to him from my friends, but I honestly can not say that I trust all my friends to keep that privacy, or to break all ties with him knowing what he has done. I simply can’t, because I can’t expect them to break their ties with someone they could be so strongly interconnected with.
And honestly it’s also likely rooted in the relationship I had with him. He made certain to make a personal impact on so many of my own friends’ lives, that even after we broke up we shared friends. He made sure to make himself look like a good person to them, so that my experience was forever silenced from the moment I was assaulted (the first time, and each time after that).
Right now I’m just in a state of panic that rises up every once in a while, especially when I’m looking at Facebook and someone who is in his coven is suggested as a friend, to which they share mutual friends with me.
And as a deep apology to my friends who happen to follow the religion in question, of which I’ve been suggested to follow many times as it falls in line with my own personal takes on spirituality, HE is the reason why I always refuse and get very uncomfortable about the topic.
girl i hope you appreciate your boyfriend. he just stood practically on top of a horror movie monster so you could get out of the elevator first. he loves you.
Yea, if you’re an actor and you deliberately try to freak people out then you need to be aware it’s flight or FIGHT. There’s a chance that someone will run away screaming but someone could also square up and try to kick your creepy ass.
By deciding to be a creepy bastard you are accepting the possibility that you might end up getting hurt and I do not feel sorry for you.
I mean if you’re being paid to scare people– like in shit like this or haunted houses– you are not in this to be injured.
Shit like this is why people think its ok to break people’s faces in the community haunted house and y'all are just validating that.
Yeah, there is a HUGE difference between someone deciding “I’m going to go into a haunted house, and I know that people will try to scare me, so I will behave” and “I’m on my way down the street and some douche canoe decides to prank me for The Views.” I feel really bad for actors who get hit in haunted houses, but I have no sympathy for pranksters who get the crap kicked out of them by some unsuspecting, non-consenting potential victim.
The last two comments though. I worked in a haunted hayride for a couple years and as someone who cant handle horror well i understand people being scared, but please dont hurt people who are literally being paid to scard you. You paid to be spooked and if something is setting you off there are ways to work around it. Many of us (at least the ones who arent dickheads) will comply if you just yell out "hey im really fucking scared and need yall to chill out please im not okay atm" before walking into our room we can respect you. (I had plenty of people do this and so we would just lay dormant for those people, and due to the labor it was nice to get an extra minute of chilling for the next group)
First baby born to woman with uterus transplanted from deceased donor - CNN
https://apple.news/A9fFVVLYyTpmXM3zq4kdr3g
Follow the link to read more! Now- this was done with someone who had ovaries that had the possibility of function; but it does open the grounds to new forms of gender confirmation surgery and options for others with uterus related fertility issues.
controversial but in my many years as a minor on tumblr i’ve never seen a single sex worker. they always block minors, mark their blogs as nsfw, and don’t spam the popular sfw tags. even if you, as a minor, actually look for them, as long as you listed your age truthfully in the registration, you won’t be able to find them.
what i, instead, saw as a minor was:
porn bots (which could be stopped by: captcha, double confirmation for accounts, not allowing url shorteners, not allowing rebloggers to delete captions, i would even be ok with hyperlinks not being allowed in reblogs)
fetishes and kinksters (which could be stopped by: adding more tags to the nsfw filter, including fetishes/kinks that appear as sfw)
people who forget tag their shit (which could be stopped by: an auto-tagging system for sensitive tags that would work similarly to the current block for apparently nsfw posts, but can give the op the option to delete incorrect tags)
pro-ana, pro-mia, romanticization of self-harm (which could be stopped by: banning the whole tag, as it just happened)
nazi, terfs (just kick them out for hate speech like twitter does)
pro-map thankfully only appeared once i was already past 18 but of course you could just ban the whole community + tag as it just happened.
prevent usernames with words that hate and pedophilic groups use to flag from being chosen at blog creation.
while i know that tumblr is a 13+ website, nsfw content was hidden from minors last year. most cp was deleted + outlawed (both irl and drawn) for good not even last month. and while those are recent changes they did make tumblr, overall, 13+ appropriate.
i do not care much for porn, i just feel like they are solving the problem the wrong way and punishing a group of people who did nothing to harm minors. there were smarter solutions to this problem that were ignored in the favor of a very sloppy solution that doesn’t even cover stuff like sfw kink blogs, porn bots who don’t post pictures (most of them), people who just won’t tag their nsfw, hate groups and other non-sex related communities who are extremely dangerous for minors.
[Image description - Images of a lesbian, rainbow, bi, trans, queer, questioning, gender questioning, intersex, asexual and aromantic pride flags with the text: L g b t q q q i a a. End description.]
Comment copied from user @/joalst to skip the the thread of comments:
The lady herself actually doesn’t have cancer. She did this to support her sister who did. Her sister has since passed, but the lady, Jennifer LaFace, has started a foundation, I Carry My Sister’s Heart, since.
Don’t overexplain things: leave room for the players to be awesome. If the group is fighting in a mess hall even if you didn’t explicitly say it OF COURSE there is a tankard of mead they can throw in the enemy’s eyes while grappling on the table. Right within their reach too!
Don’t get too specific with distances. Of course the character is close enough to the table to flip it over, getting a nice piece of cover and also hampering enemies with all the greasy food now littering the floor.
You may have not even thought to put a chandelier in the mead hall, but now that your player specifically asked if there is one, of course there is!
I do enjoy theatre of the mind combat, but I find that it can overwhelm new players and players used to a grid. Not to mention when running creatures with lots of AOE and auras you often get into situations where your players think getting caught in a fireball is unfair but their call lightning should hit every hostile each turn.
That is perfectly valid. I personally like grids in some of my games and I would never go 100% theater of the mind (I still like some kind of visual representation) and while it’s definitely possible to improvise environmental effects on a grid it enforces a very strict approach to space and distance.
My favored approach is a happy middle where there’s no grid, distances and movement are measured very abstractly, and where the exact positions of creatures and objects rarely matter, just so my players don’t have to think “Oh well I could do a cool thing with the table but first I’d have to move next to it and that’d provoke an opportunity” because if they’re in the table place the table is close enough for them to do the table thing.
I mean I have a bunch of ideas for running gridless combat while still having hard and fast rules for adjudicating AoE effects and the like and I’ll probably share them once I’ve got them all written down.
But like the key is that gridless doesn’t have to mean “No visual representation of the environment” even if that visual representation is just tokens on index cards with notes about the environment each card represents
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