Assistance For Trans Folks

A gathering of resources for trans spectrum folks: things like success stories, surgery options, advice on presentation, recent news, general positivity, and information for anyone questioning xir gender identity. Submissions and ask are open; anon is enabled. Don't be shy (but please read the Ask FAQ first)!

[kaity--did]

Hi Internet Mom,

I'm nonbinary (demigirl if we're getting precise, which we are) and I am starting to go by they/them and the name Sasha. I'm worried about my parents' reaction. I know they won't throw me out or anything like that, but I'm pretty sure they won't understand right away. Which I understand, of course, they thought they had a daughter for about nineteen years, but still. Also I'm worried that it's actually just a phase? Which is pretty stupid but I worry about lots of things. Anyway, feel free not to answer this ask if you don't want to—I'm just scared and worried about everything ever.

Have a nice day. Happy birthday to Penny the deal warlock! I always enjoy seeing her adventures on my dash.

Bye,

Sasha

Hey like if it is just a phase so what? You're allowed to have phases, you're ALLOWED to change your mind about things and that never makes any thing you feel in the moment ANY less real. We're literally all changing every moment from day to day and I've never understood people using "it's just a phase" to make someone less important. Like so is childhood? So is menstruation? So is every other aspect of the human life cycle? It's okay if something doesn't stick that's the beauty of being human - you're allowed to test things out!

And you should tell your parents that! If you have a comfortable relationship with them let them know hey I just wanna try this for a little bit and maybe it will stick and maybe it won't but I want to find out together? Honestly most of the time us parents just wanna be involved!

[apollosfallen]

The only way forward is to stop treating masculinity as synonymous with harmful, monstrous, or dangerous.

[apollosfallen]

There is a fundamental difference between "men are dangerous" (wrong, bioessentialist) and "the patriarchy allows dangerous men to exist unchecked" (true).

[transmasc-theory]

The thing that has me scratching my head in confusion about the recent wave of "trans men are invading women's spaces" rhetoric from TRFs is that I thought we were in agreement that the very concept of "men's spaces" and "women's spaces" was a load of crap. I thought we were in agreement that bathrooms should be marked "bathroom with a urinal" and "bathroom without a urinal" instead of "men's" and "women's." I thought we agreed that healthcare should never be gender segregated regardless. I thought we were in agreement that everything called a "woman's space" was just blatantly being exaggerated as a tool of exclusion.

Further, why are you using these arguments that were invented by TERFS when you know these will inevitably be weaponized against you too? Do you really think you can rehabilitate concepts made to hurt YOU and turn them into a weapon against just the people you hate? Like even if you can't be a decent enough human being to care about transmascs, you could at least have an ounce of self-preservation and realize this is helping TERFs to hurt YOU, not just the trans men you want dead!

[synjectivism]

I think part of the ''why'' is that people think conservatism is a character flaw. People think ''people become conservative because they are bad and cruel and I'M not like that! I would never be like that!"

Why are trans people turning so TERFy when we seemingly agreed that this was all bad? Well, everything is getting more conservative, on account of the climate/environmental crisis and the related decay of capitalism and the rise of fascism as a response. People are scared animals and it is so easy to adjust to this environment by internalizing it, in hopes of surviving it.

With trans people getting turned into a scapegoat and neo-radfems getting massive political platforms, it was inevitable that people would react by internalizing radical feminism and trying to cut out the parts of themselves and their community that are least able to adjust to that. I think its a semi-conscious process of trying to blend in, trying to survive, trying to make sense of what is happening to you and why. Each person has a lot of different preexisting beliefs they are working with to make sense of the world, and we aren't consciously self-aware of most of them. What seems obvious to one person (you cannot rehabilitate radical feminism for trans people, because it is fundamentally structured through cissexism) will not be obvious to another if they are navigating the same issue with a different "map" so to speak.

Survival instincts are not necessarily moral instincts. Resisting conservative, fascism, etc. are not things that always feel conducive to surviving this present moment, especially for people whose worldviews did not have a developed and strong understanding of what resistance and revolution would mean in practice, how the circumstances would feel, and the kinds of material and ideological forces at play.

I think a lot of people are getting more conservative because they are falling back on survival instincts and trying to adapt to an increasingly conservative environment. But, at the same time, they don't think of themselves as conservative, nor do they want to be, and they want their survival instincts to be moral instincts (as I think we would all like!) and that the things they are doing to keep themself safe are also things that are morally correct and effective responses to injustice.

And again, people want conservatism to simply be the product of a character flaw they are better than, not something that anyone can fall into ideologically as a result of both personal choices and belief-environment. We want it to be that becoming a conservative is a conscious process we would certainly be fully aware of if it happened to us. If we could become conservative, either conservatism must be objectively right, or it means that "conservative" is not a unique class of people entirely different than oneself and the left as a whole.

And people are very bad at doing worldview work under stress when feeling unsafe and also trying not to become homeless or starve to death. So we end up in these kinds of

[w0nderland42]

i get that americans love their cultural imperialism, but it really does piss me off that june is “international” pride month just because something happened in the united states.

in aotearoa, june isn’t our pride, it’s theirs. marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera are their historical figures, not ours. the phrase that “you owe your rights to Black trans women” is true there, but here we owe our rights to (mostly) Māori historical figures. i have the freedoms i do because of the legacy of an entirely different set of people operating in an entirely different context at entirely different times.

But because of american cultural imperialism, most queer people in Aotearoa don’t even know our own queer history. Carmen Rupe, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, the Dorian Society, Gillian Laundon, Georgina Beyer, and the Wolfenden Association are some of our queer history. We should know their names! we should know what they did for us! but because of the power of the american imperial machine, we don’t.

our national pride month should be july, the month that the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in 1986. our two largest cities hold their pride festivals in february and march, respectively. american queer history has very little (or nothing, depending on who you ask) to do with our queer history. anecdotally, from my own queries, queer youth in aotearoa know more about american queer history than our own.

anyway, happy pride, americans. i’m truly sorry that most of you don’t see the negative impact your nation’s culture has on the rest of the world. and to the rest of the world reading this, try searching for your own country and culture’s queer history, don’t accept the american narratives as your own. we deserve our own histories divorced from the cultural hegemony of the USA.

[ftmtftm]

If you are White you are not allowed to pick and choose which vulnerable Black people you put your weight behind along gendered lines.

If you are a White trans person with any interest in racial politics and racial solidarity, you have to put your allyship, solidarity, and support behind the entire Black trans community. Not just one portion of it.

You do also have to be vocal about Black trans men and Black nonbinary people along side Black trans women AND you cannot only bring up Black trans women when it is convenient for you to remember someone's getting punched harder than you. Because Black trans men and Black nonbinary people ARE ALSO GETTING PUNCHED HARDER THAN YOU BECAUSE THEY ARE BLACK.

You're still White. You have to throw your weight behind the entire Black community, not just the parts of it that are situationally convenient for you. Remember that.

[stephexmachina]

when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.

[stephexmachina]

AND SO IS BEING SOMEBODY'S MOTHER‼️

[stephexmachina]

it is about being a woman. hope that helps!

[vibrantstarfire]

reading comprehension questions for the notes:

is wanting to be a wife and mother a requirement for being a woman?

why might OP be annoyed with replies assuming that this post is about being aroace or transmasc if a woman doesn’t want to be a wife or mother?

are there reasons unrelated to sexuality and romantic interest that might make a woman not want to be a wife or mother?

are there reasons unrelated to gender identity and expression that might make a woman not want to be a wife and mother?

core concept: what is gender essentialism?

is it gender essentialism to imply that all women inherently want to be wives and mothers? could this be what OP is critiquing?

look at the notes OP responds to. is it gender essentialism to imply that being a wife and mother is so affixed to womanhood that to not want to be those things means you’re incapable of sexual/romantic feelings, or not a woman?

what trait are you perpetuating when you assume that women who do not want to be wives and mothers must be aroace or trans? is it gender essentialism?

[mornington-the-crescent]

June 1st

[breelandwalker]

Listen, marketing-as-exploitation discussions aside, Rainbow Capitalism is, has been, and continues to be the canary in the coal mine of social acceptance for the queer community.

If you’ll all pardon my Americentrism for a moment, the amount, visibility, and flamboyance of Pride merch available in clothing, home goods, and comestibles stores is a DIRECT reflection of how safe it is to be queer in public in the United States.

How? Simple. Out groups aren’t profitable. If you’re not “acceptable” in the current social climate, big franchise businesses will not market to you. (Prime example - Look how quickly Target dropped all their Pride merch after having been wall-to-wall rainbows every June for almost a decade prior.)

Sure, capitalism sucks and being viewed as an exploitable marketing demographic isn’t a fun concept.

HOWEVER.

The grim truth is that being normalized enough to be considered profitable by corporations IS A GOOD THING in terms of the barometer of social acceptance.

Same thing goes for smaller businesses that throw kitschy Pride events or even just put a token rainbow flag in the window or somewhere inside the shop. That’s a level of acceptance that DID NOT EXIST thirty years ago, and I can tell you because I was there.

The fact that we can scoff and bitch about being an exploitable marketing demographic nowadays means we have made GIGANTIC strides since the 1990s. It also speaks to the fact that the drive and the conversation surrounding LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance are continuing. And getting louder.

You can be cynical about it if you want. But I will take a store that puts out lip-service rainbow merch over a world that pretends we don’t exist any day of the week. Because that will always mean something.

Sincerely, An Elder Queer

[impostoradult]

Agreed, and also, it has always struck me as a little bit of a double-standard in queer politics when people used to point out the exclusion of queerness from mainstream capitalist products as evidence of their marginalization (e.g., there are no m/m or f/f wedding cards)

Yet, when they start being included, they are like “well, that’s just capitalism taking advantage of us, so it doesn’t count.” Like, you can’t use your EXCLUSION from something as evidence of general societal marginalization and then claim that once you’ve started to be included, it is politically meaningless. You don’t really get to have it both ways. That’s moving the political goal posts.

I get that we shouldn’t consider Target pride merchandise as like the pinnacle of queer politics or even the pinnacle of queer inclusion. I get that inclusion in capitalist intuitions is a very ambivalent form of social progress. But the truth is, capitalism is a big part of what creates our social reality right now (unfortunately).

Capitalism makes TV shows, and movies, and books, and ads, and greeting cards, and toys, and clothing, and, and…

When every single aspect of commercial social reality excludes queerness, that DOES create a real sense of social alienation. I don’t love that capitalism is responsible for creating so much of our collective social reality. But granting that it does, I think we’re forced to accept that our inclusion in it IS politically and socially important.

And yes we should still be trying to resist capitalism as the primary means of meeting human needs. But we can resist treating capitalism as an inevitability or an inherent good, AND ALSO acknowledge that our inclusion within it remains politically important while it still holds so much power and responsibility for creating our shared reality.

[quantummindclassicalheart]

See also a recent article from NPR (published May 30, 2026) discussing how pride celebrations have struggled financially with the loss of corporate sponsorships. Organizing big visible events (and fairly compensating the labor of those who make them possible) is expensive.

Pride celebrations struggle as corporate sponsorships dry up

Public support for the LGBTQ+ community by corporations has become politically risky, public relations expert says.

[8bitangelguts]

the fear mongering around transmasculine people who sing going on testosterone genuinely pisses me off. yes, you will be able to sing. no, you won't lose your voice. no, low voices aren't ugly (where are people even getting this shit???). no, higher voices aren't prettier. sing through the changes (don't push anything). hydrate. h y d r a t e. please don't stop singing, your voice will sound amazing.

[ayamccabre]

So I'm one of those people who had complications with my voice breaking. It felt "stuck" for about a year and then dropped suddenly and painfully. I was not able to sing through the changes.

I can sing now though.

Even if you have to stop for a bit, you'll be fine. Get back into it when you can, look up some voice training exercises and see if they help, and you will be able to sing again.

[beemovieerotica]

[justcallmedom31]

These are so beautiful.

Credit goes to the wonderful artist: ChibiGreen

[justcallmedom31]

Oh my gosh, i found more beauties!!

Credit once again goes to the wonderful artist: ChibiGreen

[politijohn]

Source

Happy Pride Month!

[reasonsforhope]

Holy shit!!!!!!! HUNGARY DID IT!!!!

-via the Los Angeles Blade, June 1, 2026

[queerpeers]

me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”

coworker: “damn dude was preordering”

[queerpeers]

other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:

—got confused about why I’d never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans

—told me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine

—laughs at all my trans jokes, even if they’re supremely unfunny

—calls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me

— “I can’t believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?”

[the-ladyguinevere]

Once I said "My gender is whatever's funniest at the time" and my coworker stops dead in his tracks, turns slowly and says "So are your pronouns honk/honk?" killing me instantly

[doggirlpaws]

I was talking to a friend I knew before I transitioned about my new relationship (my first one ever!) and I said "Yeah, I think I only indentified as aro/ace most of my life because I didn't have lesbian as an option" and he looked me dead in the eye and said "Oh? Why not? ...Ohhh"

Then he said "You know, I completely forgot you weren't always this way. Femininity really suits you" and let me tell you I started tearing up

Of course, not ten minutes later I mentioned that I had to relearn how to sing and he said "oh no, what happened?" so he might just be a little slow

[doggirlpaws]

Update on that friend: a bunch of people sent me "he's a little confused, but he's got the spirit" gifs in response to that story. I can tell you now with certainty that she definitely has the spirit, and she's not confused anymore

[kaity--did]

Hi Internet Mom,

I'm nonbinary (demigirl if we're getting precise, which we are) and I am starting to go by they/them and the name Sasha. I'm worried about my parents' reaction. I know they won't throw me out or anything like that, but I'm pretty sure they won't understand right away. Which I understand, of course, they thought they had a daughter for about nineteen years, but still. Also I'm worried that it's actually just a phase? Which is pretty stupid but I worry about lots of things. Anyway, feel free not to answer this ask if you don't want to—I'm just scared and worried about everything ever.

Have a nice day. Happy birthday to Penny the deal warlock! I always enjoy seeing her adventures on my dash.

Bye,

Sasha

Hey like if it is just a phase so what? You're allowed to have phases, you're ALLOWED to change your mind about things and that never makes any thing you feel in the moment ANY less real. We're literally all changing every moment from day to day and I've never understood people using "it's just a phase" to make someone less important. Like so is childhood? So is menstruation? So is every other aspect of the human life cycle? It's okay if something doesn't stick that's the beauty of being human - you're allowed to test things out!

And you should tell your parents that! If you have a comfortable relationship with them let them know hey I just wanna try this for a little bit and maybe it will stick and maybe it won't but I want to find out together? Honestly most of the time us parents just wanna be involved!

[dimity-lawn]

[haiimrowie]

Fucking hell.

This disrespects the characters, the story, the author, the entire point of the book, and every single trans Discworld fan.

Context, for my non Discworld followers: Monstrous Regiment is a book which plays with the trope of "girl dresses as not to join the army", in which the protagonist slowly realises she's not the only one; all the other new recruits of her squad are similarly disguising themselves. Shenanigans ensue, and at the end of the book it's revealed a lot of the military higher ups are actually women with a facade of maleness, putting on the part so they can do their duty.

Sergeant Jackrum is also one of the people who ran away as a girl to join the army, but unlike the others he doesn't wear a facade. It's entirely himself. He is canonically a trans man. He doesn't want to leave the military and return to civilian life, cos he doesn't want to re enter the closet and live as a woman, and his squad's like oi mate you're literally sergeant fuckin Jackrum, there ain't a kid in this kingdom who hasn't heard of you in all your decades of service. Return to the family you left behind, the kid you birthed doesn't need to know you're trans, you can just say you're the guy who fathered that kid. Go be a grandpa and be happy.

To misgender him in any way is spitting in the face of the author, fans, and story. It's upsetting.

[iamthespineofmybook]

I also noted when I listened to the most recent Monstrous Regiment audiobook that they used the misgendering version for the recording.

I just did some quick research, though, and it looks like they may have gone back and fixed it? I'll have to listen to the audiobook again to see if that is indeed the case.

EDIT: Nope, still the wrong pronouns. However, in my search I also came across something interesting: there's two versions up on Audible. One released 2/23/23, published by Transworld Digital and one released 9/25/23, published by Harper. Both exactly the same length, both with the same narrator/cast. The Harper edition is the one that I have. But I think, the Transworld Digital one is the correct one.

Simply because I had to use address trickery to purchase Nightwatch's audiobook back in 2023, and it, too, was published by Transworld Digital. I think I'm going to spend a little extra money soon and buy that version and see if it's correct.

EDIT 2: Yep. Transworld Digital does not misgender Jackrum, but you have to spoof the address to make Audible think you're living in the UK to buy it.

[politijohn]

Source

Happy Pride Month!

[clmosara484]

hi I haven't been to tumblr for ages and now, after the internet blackout in my country, Iran, and the start of pride month, I'm here to talk abt sth important, it's mostly copy pasted but "intentions are everything" after all.

Mahshid, a 26-yo transgender woman in Sanandaj, Kurdistan province, was killed because of who she was, because of being trans. The perpetrator of her murder is a salafi islamic group.

This attack was done to spread fear among the LGBTQ+ community.

Transgender women and girls in Iran face constant threats, not just from society but from laws and systemic violence. This news breaks at the start of Pride Month — a reminder that protection for trans people in Iran is more urgent than ever. No one should live in fear just for being themselves.

Please be the voice of Iranian LGBTQ+ community, specially the trans community, on this year's Pride Month. They need your support more than anytime.

[dancingdorito]

i will never let anyone forget that anakin skywalker is canonically a trans ally