This is where I plan to keep my growing collection of analysis threads for the games that I play (mainly Genshin & Honkai Star Rail)!
I'll continue to update as best as I can! Updates can include but aren't limited to actual edits/changes I make to my threads so sometimes if you see a thread, it might be different from the current one since I sometimes miss mistakes & I have to go back in to fix things since I can actually edit in Tumblr
Genshin General Lore: https://www.tumblr.com/s-b-party/708815500332957696/genshin-general-lore-threads?source=share
Honkai Star Rail Lore: https://www.tumblr.com/s-b-party/718231180544245760/honkai-star-rail-lore-threads?source=share
Ibaraki performs an unforgettable dance for the new year. Shuten is not exempt from gazing at the beauty on the stage.
Includes: Established relationship, romantic fluff, canon compliance (for the most part at least? Most of it is based off of the bio story for Dance of the Demon illustration)
AO3 Link
It started off, for the most part, like any other night around the new year. Oeyama was buzzing with activity and excitement. It was just when Hoshiguma delivered news of a small village that recently appeared that the celebratory atmosphere was temporarily halted. A new human village was not something that would normally warrant Shuten Doji’s attention or caution. He also knew there were humans who worshipped demons, so the idea of humans showing up near Oeyama was not that baffling. As long as humans did not disrespect him, his people, and Oeyama, he would leave them alone. However, this was a special case not due to being disrespected (as far as he saw it unlike his subordinates who took greater offense) but rather being intrigued. After all, a palanquin, a shrine, and a stage were quite extravagant for the oni. If it were just either of those things alone, then it would not have been so strange, but all of them combined? The confusion among Oeyama’s residents was to be expected.
“Didn’t they come here to gain favors from us demons? We couldn’t care less about such superficial arrangements.” Yamawaro’s words had roused a discussion among his fellow demons. As a response, the Demon Throne reacted with its own flames growing and flickering in size. Shuten gazed downwards towards the fire.
Raring to go? I suppose my interest is a bit piqued. If it is what I’m thinking it is, then those humans don’t know there are no gods here. Heh, either way, a show about gods and demons in the Demon Domain surely will provide some entertainment. I’ll allow it for now.
“Are these humans trying to summon a greater demon? Who are they actually praying to, gods or demons?” Ibaraki’s words were laced with disdain for the new neighbors.
“Interesting. Go and look.” Shuten didn’t think it would be too big of an issue for Ibaraki and Hoshiguma to handle, so he would sit back and be an observer for the time being.
Ibaraki and Hoshiguma headed out in human disguises to scout the new settlement. As they were inspecting, they took in the cheery atmosphere and grand aesthetics. Despite Ibaraki’s annoyance, he couldn’t deny that the village had its own charm.
Hmph, I suppose it’s not bad, but it’s still disrespectful of them to pray to gods in the land of oni. Wait, those clothes…
As the two oni approached the preparation area (well, more so as the Demon General got dragged by the majordomo), Ibaraki began to have some doubts about Hoshiguma’s initial assessment of the village as he saw all the costumes, both resembling gods and demons. He lowered his head a bit so Hoshiguma would hear his next words as a whisper with the deep timber of his voice against the humans’ loud merrymaking.
“I think you were wrong. Those clothes were prepared for the human who’s going to play the role of the god. There’s also going to be another person who plays the role of the demon. These two people will then do a choreographed fight on stage as a show for the gods.”
“How do you know all this and I don’t? And if a human plays a god, how are they going to fight a greater demon? Also, how is it supposed to give them good fortune?”
This village’s way of thinking was certainly…interesting to say the least. One of the humans in the area suddenly turned their attention on the two oni. Through a change in circumstances, Ibaraki somehow ended up getting dragged once again but by a human this time. Most of his initial annoyance fizzled away, replaced with confusion as he was dragged backstage.
“Fighting a demon? With the gods’ power?”
“Don’t play dumb. When playing a god, you’ll be granted their power. We will summon a demon, and you will use your new power to fight it!”
“No need to worry. I came along to make sure he doesn’t back down.” Hoshiguma turned his gaze to Ibaraki and gave a smile exposing his mischievous nature. “Do your best for the sake of the village!”
Hoshiguma, we need to have a talk later…
Ibaraki stepped onto the stage with a sense of calm that left the audience unsettled. After all, while being chosen for the role was considered a great honor, there was still danger involved. It was no wonder why many of the younger people wanted to avoid the position.
The drums were beaten against the silence of the village as everybody watched in suspense. The tension remained strong as the lesser demons that were brought by the humans made their anticipated arrival. There was a moment of consideration going through Ibaraki’s head on whether to fight without using his demonic power. That moment had come and gone as fast as a fish breaching the surface of water to reach a higher summit. After all, why wouldn’t he take them all down at once? So he went and unleashed his infamous gate of hellish flames.
None of the humans could have predicted how the show would turn out. Nobody could have foreseen an actual oni playing as the god. As the Inferno Gate burnt the lesser demons into oblivion, the shrieks and panic of the villagers resounded through the air. Ibaraki knew that it wasn’t going to be easy to remain incognito the entire time considering the circumstances. If he was going to be exposed anyways, then he might as well show off his power to his audience.
“If you want to play god, then you should learn how to bear this ‘godly’ power!”
The ball of fire that was turned into ashes by Ibaraki had manifested itself into a fiery figure after entering the bonfire. Its appearance constantly changed to capture all the faces in the crowd. As if on cue, Ibaraki and the fiery figure began to exchange blows. As the show went on, the humans’ eyes glimmered with realization. This was not missed by the sharp eye of the oni on the stage.
“Good. You should understand there is no god in Mt. Oe. This power is yours, and you must live by it! Only then are you worthy of fighting me!”
While he was fighting off the spirit, a part of him was preoccupied with something, or rather, someone once he spotted a familiar figure.
My good friend, are you watching? I dedicate this dance of flame and spirit to you! Witness my desire!
Once the majordomo left Ibaraki to his unfortunate fate with the humans, he noticed wavy black and white hair a good distance away from the village.
“I see you came in person. Not gonna watch from Oeyama’s peak?”
“I’m not going to miss out on seeing this. The Demon King should get a good seat for a show.”
“Hehe, you should be more honest. I know you are capable of seeing this from up there. You came down here once you learned he was going to perform, didn’t you?”
“…”
If one looked close enough, a faint blush could be seen on Shuten’s face even with the veil of night. “Tch, nothing gets past you.” He turned his head to hide his embarrassment.
“You’re so easy to read, fufufu. Well, it’s good that you came. Ibaraki will very much appreciate it. Did you know that this would happen?”
“No, I didn’t. I just figured you would both report back, but I didn’t think he would end up getting dragged by a villager.”
“If this were the old Ibaraki, then that human would already be cinders. He’s grown a tiny bit softer on humans, otherwise he wouldn’t have let that guy get away with grabbing him. It must be because of the influence of our magnanimous Demon King.” Hoshiguma’s face had been painted with a smirk.
Shuten had his gaze focused on Ibaraki’s entrance with the corners of his mouth turned upwards. “Yeah, he would not have let this happen in the past. He definitely has changed a lot.”
Before he could continue, the drums near the stage were struck.
Shuten and Hoshiguma waited with bated breath as they could hear the drums bang all the way from the hill they were currently on. The lowly demons that had been summoned went down in one fell swoop from the Inferno Gate. As the villagers screamed at Ibaraki’s true identity, the ashes carrying the humans’ wishes manifested into a fiery figure. Hoshiguma was a bit amused by the frantic scene of chaos in front of him. Meanwhile Shuten was captivated by the dancing figure in his view the entire time.
How beautiful and strong you look, Ibaraki.
Those were the only words he could use to describe his lover in that moment and they still were not enough. There would never be enough words to explain the beauty of Ibaraki’s flames and grace. Shuten knew very well how hot that demonic fire burnt for him. While others, including Oeyama’s residents, would run away from that fire, only the Demon King would dare to come closer to satisfy his desire for heat. Just like the most enticing sake, he could get drunk on Ibaraki for the rest of his life and never get tired of him. The kisses they shared would never amount to enough. The passion they had for each other would burn hot as long as they lived and even beyond into death. They would never find anybody else like each other, not in heaven, not on earth, not in hell.
As the beauty on the stage spun his body towards the general direction of the hill, Shuten felt their eyes lock onto each other for a brief moment.
Go on, Ibaraki. Show me your desire.
Seemingly understanding the words behind Shuten’s eyes, Ibaraki’s movements became more fierce. A wide grin could be seen on the white-haired oni’s face and booming laughter could be heard throughout the village. It most likely could be heard by Oeyama’s residents as well.
Hoshiguma’s brows creased with concern. “Isn’t he going a bit too far?” Too far? No, this was what Ibaraki needed. Despite his irritation with humans, he did not necessarily hate them. There was newfound respect for these humans. If Ibaraki truly wanted them dead, they already would be.
Shuten chuckled as the fight painted the sky and stage with flames and blasts of wind. “It’s fine. It’s the New Year, after all.”
He was definitely going to ask Ibaraki to perform more in the future.
The show came to a brilliant end befitting the new year. The humans continued celebrating way into the night, having had their eyes opened by Ibaraki to the true meaning of their show. The oni made his quick escape over to Shuten and Hoshiguma who praised him for the spectacle.
“Well, I’ll head back first to make sure none of the others have done anything stupid. See you back on the mountain.” Hoshiguma waved them farewell before Ibaraki could corner him for his early decision leading up to the performance. Under the clear night sky, a comfortable silence engulfed the two remaining oni.
“My good friend, you saw everything?”
“Yeah, right from the start. Those clothes look good on you and your performance was done beautifully.”
Ibaraki’s eyes had widened for a brief moment before softening with the moonlight shining in them. Shuten brought a hand up to caress his lover’s face.
“Have I told you that I love you, Ibaraki?” He received a soft chuckle and a warm grasp on his own hand as a response.
“Yes, you have. Many times, in fact. What brought this on tonight?”
“Nothing, your dance just reminded me of why I love you.”
The Demon King couldn’t help being a tad bit sentimental. After all, they had been through so much together. The Minamoto clan’s attack on Oeyama left everybody in shambles, especially with Shuten’s death. Ibaraki’s sacrifice to revive his friend would always leave Shuten with a sense of guilt, but of course, the latter could never admit that to Ibaraki. He would deny that Shuten had any part in him losing his arm. Yes, Onikiri was the one responsible, but Shuten felt ashamed that Ibaraki went to such lengths just for him. On top of that, Shuten lost his memories in the process, becoming a husk of what he used to be. After everything that happened with Seimei and his counterpart, life did not stop hurling obstacles at them. The Sealand invasion became a turning point for Shuten where he grew even further in power. There was also everything that happened with Taishakuten and Asura. Despite it all, Ibaraki had been there with him from the start, never faltering. His own flames never went out; in fact, they only grew brighter over time.
It was hard to believe that this was all real. That meeting with death made Shuten believe that such a day would never come. In that final moment before he met his end, regret filled his heart.
Ibaraki, I didn’t get to tell you how I feel. If I could be reincarnated or something, then I want to be with you again. I’m sorry…
After regaining his memories, he felt horrible for the way he treated Ibaraki during his amnesiac state. There was nobody else who could handle his berating and behavior as well as his friend could. It was only after regaining his memories that Shuten understood how much he was afraid of losing him again. He made the bold decision to confess his feelings some time afterwards and Ibaraki took it quite well, considering that he also felt the same. They initially were clumsy with their courting, but they eventually got through it. Now he would tell Ibaraki that he loved him whenever he could do so in a private setting (his pride still wouldn’t let him do so in front of others; getting called a softie once by others who were not Ibaraki was enough to make him reconsider his life choices).
Peaceful times after Shuten’s revival seemed like an unreachable dream, but Ibaraki wearing performing clothes that weren’t armor proved that notion wrong.
“My good friend, even without you telling me, I know how you feel. Your eyes and touches hold much meaning. If I ever lost your love and affection, I would know.”
“Want me to stop saying it to you then?” Shuten smirked, knowing exactly what the answer would be. He suddenly lifted Ibaraki up with one arm underneath the knees and the other arm around the back for support.
“Of course not! Don’t ever stop.”
Keep saying it until we both burn out of existence.
“Heh, as you wish.”
Even though Ibaraki assumed the role of a god for the sake of the performance, it would not be farfetched to say that he was one for Shuten Doji. Being compared to a god would typically sound like an insult to an oni, but it meant differently when Shuten saw his love in that way. The pride of oni would not dare kneel for any other god, but for Ibaraki Doji, the Demon King would do that and more. He loved him more than anybody would ever know. The two lovers knew the pains they went through together and only they would know the burning flames that would keep them together until the end of time.
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
AO3 Link
Chapter 10: The Taste of Home
Summary: A special occasion deserves a special gift. Oeyama's residents come together to help prepare this gift.
The caretaker of Oeyama was in the kitchen deep in thought. "Hmm, I’m going to need this and this for the feast. I need to get the others to help me out." He had plans for a celebration feast for tonight and it was going to be a night that the residents of Oeyama would never forget. Even though Hoshiguma complained about Shuten and Ibaraki making last-minute decisions, he sometimes did the same thing. Well, it was less likely in his case. Normally this type of feast he had in mind wouldn’t have been planned without warning and sufficient time. However, today was a very special occasion. After all, it was to celebrate Shuten and Ibaraki’s relationship.
Although Hoshiguma knew about Shuten’s feelings for Ibaraki, he was unsure of whether the same thing applied for Ibaraki. However, after Momo ordered him to make sure those two properly talked to each other, he was certain that Ibaraki felt the same. Hence the reason why he felt that he didn’t need to stay to hear their conversation. In the past, he did often hear the other oni speculate on whether those two loved each other or if they would ever confess. Hoshiguma initially didn’t believe that their musings had much weight, but observing Shuten’s actions and words towards Ibaraki had proven him wrong. It was harder for him to see if Ibaraki saw Shuten in that light or if he was just really affectionate with him. Now he no longer had anything to question about their relationship.
Although it was rough navigating through the misunderstandings, he understood why Ibaraki acted the way he did. The stigma towards romance among the oni is not a common subject that is brought up in conversation. Nobody knows how it started or how long it has existed, but it was a widely accepted unspoken rule of sorts. Hoshiguma only regretted that he didn’t do enough as a friend to show that he would have accepted the pair regardless of the stigma. Who even needs such things? They were the oni of Oeyama for crying out loud! They were reputed as free beings who loved fighting and alcohol. They should be free to do as they wished including falling in love if they so desired.
Hoshiguma had briefly furrowed his brows before getting back on track. No, it wouldn’t do to let the negativity of a stupid stigma affect his mood and cooking. It’s supposed to be a joyous celebration and that’s exactly what he would deliver within the limited time he had before dinner. Shuten waking up earlier than usual worked out in Hoshiguma’s favor. It gave him extra time to prepare for dinner. Good thing it was just the dinner that would be a grand celebration. Including lunch as a part of it would be overkill. Well...it wouldn't be the first time Oeyama has gone overboard with celebrating, but it just meant more work for him to deal with in the aftermath. He needed a break after what happened during this week.
After compiling a list of ingredients, Hoshiguma set out to get assistance from the other demons and spirits. It didn't take much convincing. Rather it was more work getting them all together in a single area than getting them to help out. Of course, they were naturally curious about the reasoning behind the sudden feast.
"Sure, we can get these ingredients! Wait, there's a lot...are we having a big dinner feast tonight?"
"Yep! It's going to be a grand occasion." Hoshiguma's eyes seemed to smile a lot more than usual, concerning his fellow demons even more. "Why is that?"
"Well, Ibaraki and Shuten have finally talked to each other. Let's just say that their feelings are mutual."
While the majority was still processing, one demon in the front of the crowd immediately expressed his shock and happiness at the news. "Wait, really? After all these years? This is fantastic news indeed! I told you guys there was something between the two of them."
The spirit next to him scoffed. "No, you said that Shuten felt something, not Ibaraki!" The other oni were murmuring in agreement.
"Well, it was obvious that Ibaraki felt something. I just wasn't sure about it until a while ago!"
"That sounds like a lie. Just admit that you didn't know!" Someone in the back retorted with a smirk.
The friendly banter between the demons provided Hoshiguma much relief due to the fact that they were ecstatic for Shuten and Ibaraki. "Of course, don't tell them that you know of this yet. I think they might be more open to telling us during the feast. If not, then we can just treat it as any other great feast we have from time to time."
The crowd agreed in unison and then they split up to get the ingredients based on Hoshiguma's assignments written on the paper. The mountain was plentiful so getting the ingredients wouldn't pose too much of a challenge with everybody helping out. Now Hoshiguma had to consider the selection of sake to present at dinner. Would it be better to get the ones that he purchased from merchants or the ones that he had been making over the years? Well, this was hardly a question at all. It made the most sense to present alcohol that he made himself with a lot of time and effort. It was a good thing that he made a wide variety over the years through the usage of the brewery. He needed to have enough for a whole mountain of demons and spirits. On top of that, he needed to make extra alcohol for Shuten who could drink practically everybody under the table. Not even the jars bought from merchants would be enough and there was already a huge amount of those in their storage area. Hoshiguma had to consider and take pity on his coin pouch.
He went to retrieve his own creations from the brewery and on the way, he encountered Shuten and Ibaraki.
"Where are you headed, Hoshiguma?"
"The brewery and what about you two?"
"We're just gonna chill for today and drink near the top of the mountain at our usual spot."
"Also what is this feast that we've been hearing about? What is the occasion?" Ibaraki had a gleam in his eyes that was a clear sign of his interest.
"Mmm, just wanted to prepare one. If you know, you know." Hoshiguma's face looked quite mischievous.
"Oh, we're being sneaky now? Well, I have a feeling as to why. Would it happen to have anything to do with me and Ibaraki?"
The caretaker was impressed that Shuten got it on the first try. "Well, it’s not like I was trying very hard to keep it a secret. Yes, it’s for the both of you. If you don’t wanna tell them the news, they’ll understand since they…well, they also had been wondering if you two would ever confess to each other." The two suddenly became red in the face and looked at anywhere but Hoshiguma.
"…Was it so obvious to the others?"
"Mmm, there was some doubt, but a lot of them felt something was up. Anyways I couldn’t really think of a good excuse for why I was planning a feast."
"Nah, it’s fine. We were already planning on telling them later. I was also gonna ask you to help prepare a feast for it, but it seems you already beat us to it. You’re reliable as always, Hoshiguma."
"Hehe, I know. You can consider this feast a last-minute decision on my part after everything that has happened recently. Especially with you dragging me off while I was busy doing chores. Twice!"
"Yeah, yeah, sorry about that." Shuten had a sheepish smile on his face. "Looks like we’ll be relying on you again for this."
"You have our gratitude, Hoshiguma!"
"Alright, alright, we already know how great I am! Now run along to your usual drinking spot and play nicely. You’ll know when I’m done with the preparations."
They went their separate ways and Hoshiguma soon found himself carrying jars of sake stacked on top of each other out of the brewery. It was a repetitive process of carrying them out of the brewery into the kitchen. Eventually others came to help carry them since they quickly finished gathering ingredients. The day went on with a break around lunchtime and the preparation of the dishes continued on until the sky began turning purple and pink. It was about time to start placing dishes and cups on tables. Spirits were scattering everywhere to put out utensils and cups for this happy occasion. The dishes were carefully placed to avoid spilling food. It was truly a sight to behold. Bright yellow lights with red lanterns strategically placed, grand dishes lining up several tables, steam rising up into the evening sky, cups filled with clear sake. The celebration was almost ready. The only thing left was for the people of Oeyama to come together. This included both the Demon King and his right hand man.
Soon two figures covered in demonic flames descended from the sky out of nowhere, revealed to be Shuten Doji and Ibaraki Doji themselves. The crowd of spirits and demons erupted in a loud cheer. "Hmph, show-offs." Hoshiguma shook his head while chuckling. He would expect nothing less from his two friends when it comes to making grand entrances.
The two oni made their way to their seats, but before sitting down, Shuten made a motion with his hand for the crowd to quiet down a bit. "I-no, we have something to tell all of you." The demons and spirits were buzzing with anticipation at the Demon King’s words. "I heard that at least some of you sensed that there was something between Ibaraki and me. Well, you were not wrong. We want to make it official for us and seeing as you all have been with us for so long, we felt that you guys deserved to know. If anybody objects to it, you are more than welcome to fight the both of us!"
Many people were applauding and whooping loudly. Hoshiguma checked to see how Ibaraki was faring since he normally was loud on a daily basis, but right now, he was oddly quiet. It was a good thing he wasn’t the one doing the announcement. Ibaraki was blushing quite a bit and he almost looked like he would pass out even though he didn't have any alcohol yet.
"Hmm? Are you feeling embarrassed? Regret making it official?" The caretaker smirked while grabbing a jar of alcohol.
"No, I do not regret having it announced. It’s just a new feeling for me because…I was just happy being by my good friend’s side for so long and now, we are truly together."
"Well, to be fair, you’ve always been together, but you’ve never put a romantic label on it until now. You’ve loved him as a friend and now you love him even beyond that boundary. Can’t say that I understand the feeling for myself, but it’s good that you care about him so much and vice versa. You can take care of each other for the rest of your lives like you always have been. Maybe now I can get a break from cleaning up after you two idiots." In the background, Shuten had roared with a vigor similar to what you would expect from a war cry.
"Don’t hold back on our account. Go wild and celebrate to your hearts’ content!" The crowd roared with cheers and congratulations for the couple. Ibaraki saw all of his fellow spirits smiling for them and his heart swelled.
Hoshiguma started pouring sake into a cup. "As I told you guys before, it would have been also fine if you didn’t feel comfortable telling us of your relationship. I told the others not to pressure you into telling us and to treat this like any other big occasion regardless of your choice." As he was pouring, his eyes briefly opened, revealing his cat-like eyes. "I will let you in on something. I wanted this feast to show you two that Oeyama will always be a safe haven for the both of you. We might not be as strong as you, but we would gladly follow you both to hell and back. Oeyama will always be home to you both. I know that coming to terms with your feelings was difficult for you especially. So don’t worry about everybody else. You are free to do as you wish. After all, you’re the great spirits of Oeyama." He offered the cup to Ibaraki then proceeded to pour into another cup. His eyes closed just as quickly as he opened them.
"Thank you, Hoshiguma. You truly are a great friend to us. I can never fully repay you." Ibaraki never thought that he could feel so much joy from hearing another person say that they accepted him as he was.
"Don’t worry about it. Just seeing you guys happy together is enough for me."
"Hmm, what are you guys talking about?" A smile appeared on the red-haired oni’s face as he sat down in his seat. A cup of sake was pushed in front of him.
"Ahh, nothing much, just some idle chit-chat between the two of us. Anyways I have an offering for you two." Hoshiguma gestured to the sake that he poured for the pair. "This is my personal creation that I’ve been saving. You both know how much I enjoy experimenting with making different flavors. I tried it before so it should be fine, but I will let you both be the judge of that. Go on, try it."
The duo took a sip of the sake and their eyes widened.
"Well?"
Shuten took another sip before clearing his throat. "Heh, you never cease to amaze me, Hoshiguma. I feel happiness like when I spend time with Ibaraki, but I also feel pain. It’s similar to when I coughed up flowers recently. That’s a pretty good offering you made for us."
"I concur with you! It tastes sweet but not to the point it is overpowering. I can taste cherry blossoms. There is some surprisingly intense spiciness that lingers for a moment before leaving a warmth at the back of your throat. I've had my fair share of sweet and spicy drinks, but this is not like them. It is quite the interesting flavor profile, Hoshiguma."
"Hehe, you better relish it, both the good and bad. It’s a testament to everything you’ve been through together. I will admit that the spiciness was a last second addition. I know you guys can handle the spice so I just put some in, but I almost died though! I don't understand how you guys can handle that in your sake." Hoshiguma shook his head and sighed in exasperation. "Of course, I had jars of the previous batch ready in case the spice didn’t turn out well. Although considering your reactions just now, I’d say it was successful."
Hoshiguma poured out more sake for Ibaraki and Shuten. He then poured some plain sake into his own cup and raised it to the Demon King and the Demon General. "Now normally I wouldn’t be the type to say this sort of thing, but I figure it wouldn’t hurt to do so for such a special occasion." The majordomo cleared his throat before reciting the words he had prepared for his two friends.
"Let the sake in your cups be a testament to the bond you share. As it flows through your bodies, so too does your love. As warriors and brothers-in-arms, you fight together for the people of Oeyama. The struggles you will face in the future will amount to nothing in the face of the dedication you have to each other. May the both of you find happiness and comfort in each other for the rest of your lives."
All three cups gently clinked before Ibaraki and Shuten interlocked their arms holding sake and drank from their own cups. "Haha, you’re more sappy today and you’re spoiling us a lot, Hoshiguma! We’ll make it up to you."
"If you really want to make it up to me, promise me that you'll take care of each other." For when the others and I can’t…
Shuten responded to his subordinate’s sad smile with a soft one on his face. "Of course, you got it." Soon after, there was a growing line of excited spirits wanting to personally congratulate their leaders. Hoshiguma chuckled at the sight before him. There was much comfort for him in seeing the lesser spirits treat their leaders with the same reverence as they always have. Although news typically introduced change, the reality was that life wouldn’t be that different from the usual. Maybe a few things would change like the pair sharing the same room if both were amenable to that. But for the most part, things would be the same as they always have been. The two oni would still have their friendly fighting and drinking sessions. They would still be together on Oeyama. They would still be Ibaraki and Shuten. Some things would never change and Oeyama's residents wouldn’t have it any other way.
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
AO3 Link
Chapter 9: Such a Nice Feeling
Summary: As Shuten and Ibaraki spend time together, they have a conversation about the emotional turmoil they've gone through recently.
There was no fight that morning, just cuddling and basking in the sunlight that came into the room. The pair was sitting on the futon with Ibaraki's back to Shuten's chest.
"So were you really that afraid of telling me?"
"I was...afraid that you wouldn't react well. As the strongest demon among us, I thought that you would never let feelings get in your way. It's my fault for misjudging you, my friend. May I ask when you knew you had feelings for me?"
"Well, it took a while for me to get there, but after we had our conversation and you left, I started coughing buds."
"What?! You also got the disease?"
"Yeah, I got some of the flowers right here actually." Shuten pulled out some of the white wisterias he coughed and washed after returning to Oeyama last night. When they weren't covered in blood and saliva, they were actually quite beautiful. He took one and placed it in Ibaraki's hair near his horn.
"My friend, I also have some flowers I'd like to put in your hair. I couldn't bear to destroy all of them. They remind me too much of you." Soon Shuten had a few red camellias adorning his hair with Ibaraki's assistance.
"I look ridiculous, you look much better..." Shuten grumbled while blushing from his embarrassment.
"Of course not, my friend! I think you look very handsome like this." Again with that damn bright smile. Shuten couldn't argue with him when he had that smile on his face.
"You're the only one who would say that, but fine, you win." Shuten petted Ibaraki's head, making him resemble a big fluffy white dog. Truly adorable.
"My friend, if I may, why didn't you tell me about your feelings?"
"After finding out that you got the disease, I didn't want to force my feelings on you. I also didn't think that you saw me in that way, so I figured it would be better to not tell you. I know that you would sacrifice your happiness for me and I didn't want you to do that for me if you felt nothing."
"I see. I apologize for not having been truthful with you. Perhaps I could have prevented you from falling victim to the disease."
"Don't worry about it. We're here now and that's all that matters. To be honest, even though I only got the disease recently, it feels like maybe I loved you even longer than that."
"Ah, Momo explained to me that supposedly buds can be inside us for some time before we start coughing them out. It may very well be the case that we fell in love with each other long before we realized it recently."
"Hmm, is that so? I guess it makes sense since love grows over time." This was one of those moments where Shuten knew that he shouldn't think too hard. Otherwise he would end up getting a headache. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. You seemed really excited about showing Momo whatever was in your hand when Hoshiguma and I followed you. What was that about?"
"Hmm, oh, that? That may have to be a little secret between her and me." Ibaraki snuggled even deeper in his lover's embrace.
"Wait, you really won't tell me? Not even a little hint?"
"Well, we were talking about you."
"Good things, right?"
"Maybe, maybe not."
"Oi, you better have said at least some good things about me!" Ibaraki got tackled to the floor while laughing before receiving a kiss from Shuten. They shifted their bodies so they would be comfortable lying together while facing each other on the futon.
"Do not fret, my friend. I told her good things about you, many good things in fact." A kiss was placed on Shuten's cheek. "We should get washed up and dressed. It's already bright out."
"Don't wanna. Too tired and I just wanna sleep in with you. After everything that's happened, I think we get to stay in."
"I do not mind staying in with you, but the others might get worried or confused."
"Eh, they'll live. Hoshiguma is around so they’ll be fine. We could tell them the news later…unless you don’t want to tell them? If you don’t want to, then they don’t need to know."
Ibaraki had a slight blush. "No, it’s not that I don’t wish to tell them. It’s just…"
"What is it? Are you feeling shy? Heh, how cute."
The shy demon in question averted his gaze before he nodded. "I didn’t get a chance to think about telling them so the idea got me flustered for a moment."
"I’m sure they’ll be more than accepting of it and if anybody objects, then I’ll just have to show them who is the Demon King of Oeyama." A devious smirk appeared on Shuten’s face and Ibaraki smiled at the sight. Truly it was no wonder he fell in love with him.
"With us together, nobody can stop us. I have no doubt about that, my love."
"Oh? That’s new."
"I wanted to try calling you that. Do you not wish for me to call you that? If so, I won’t say it anymore."
"No, no, it’s nice. You just caught me off guard. I’m so used to you saying ‘My friend.’ It makes me feel warm inside. It’ll just take me some time getting used to it."
"I understand. We have all the time in the world for you to get used to it."
"Yeah, we have the rest of our lives." Shuten brought Ibaraki closer to his chest in a hug.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Flashback
"Since you’re dead set on staying quiet about your feelings, will you still come visit me? You may be a brute, but I honestly would miss your company."
"Mmm, I would like to keep visiting you since you helped me come to terms with my own feelings. I do value our friendship not only because you're the only one I can talk to about this, but also because you can speak your mind around me."
"Well, I was a little terrified of meeting you at first, but it turns out you're a softie who could just kill me easily. It was easier talking to you once I realized that you wanted honesty even if it hurt your feelings. You look terrifying, but you're a good guy in my eyes." Momo giggled then gave Ibaraki a warm smile. The demon could tell that she genuinely meant the words and he returned her smile with one of his own.
"There was something that I wanted to ask you. Even though I gave you all this advice, I admit that I haven't really felt love for myself. It's just what I've seen and heard from others. I've heard that people have fallen in love way before they start coughing. Do you know when you first felt even a hint of love for him?" This was definitely a question that Ibaraki had to think about for a moment, but then he recalled a certain moment where it was all clear now.
"When I first arrived on Oeyama, I was merely focused on defeating my good friend and taking his title. He would always beat me, but I refused to stop challenging him. The more I challenged him, the more I saw him as a friend. I do not remember when, but at some point, he gave me a gift." Ibaraki pulled off one of the bells hanging from his anklet. "This bell contains some of his essence. He told me that whenever I wished to see him, I could ring this to find him. I never thought about it at the time, but receiving this gift meant a lot to me. I always make sure to take good care of it. See, witness its shine!" Ibaraki brought it closer for Momo to inspect. "Oh, it really is shiny!"
"This isn't the first gift that he gave me, but I remember when I received this bell, I felt something unfamiliar to me for the first time. I was unable to describe it back then, but now...perhaps it was this point where I began to feel something more for him. Knowing that he saw me as a friend perhaps sparked a desire for more." Ibaraki smiled fondly at the memory.
He picked up a camellia that he had just coughed up before. It was unfortunate that the disease itself was a terrible, ugly thing to go through. Love felt like such a nice feeling. Ibaraki now could understand what it felt like to have romantic feelings for another. Although he truly wished he could tell Shuten the truth, part of him couldn't bear to ruin the friendship they already had. Even if he could never tell his friend the truth, Ibaraki believed that the happiness he felt from his love would be enough to get him through this.
"Fufu, you're cute when you smile like that. Being in love looks good on you."
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
AO3 Link
Chapter 8: Can't Run Away Anymore
Summary: Ibaraki and Shuten both find the resolve to tell each other what they need to say.
As his breathing stabilized, Ibaraki looked up to see his room in his line of sight. The white-haired oni ran from the peach blossom forest all the way back to the mountain. For the time being, he would rest in his room while Shuten was away.
Ibaraki was already aware that he was being stubborn, but the anxiety of not knowing how Shuten would react was terrifying. What hit Ibaraki particularly hard was what Momo had said to him. She was definitely correct when she said that he was treating Shuten more like a child rather than a trusted friend. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t trust Shuten, but more along the lines of questioning how much he actually knew him. Although they have been friends for many years, it’s not like he knows everything about his dear friend. What if he has a side that he hasn’t revealed yet? As the Demon King, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he were hiding a terrifying side. Ibaraki knew that he could only run away from Shuten for so long. Deep down in his heart, he knew that he had to face his friend head on. It was for this very reason that he even came back to the mountain at all when he could have decided to not return. If his guilt weren't enough to keep him on Oeyama, then his demon pride would not have let him run away from this situation.
My friend, I'm truly sorry. I swear I will tell you the truth and I will accept whatever punishment you have for me. No matter what happens...
After finding his resolve, the oni decided it would be a good time to get something to eat. It was almost that time the demons on Oeyama would prepare for dinner. Normally it was Hoshiguma who was in charge, but for the times when he wasn’t here, the others could at least handle making some basic stuff. With everything that has happened recently, Ibaraki surprisingly didn’t feel that hungry. Truth be told, he felt more exhausted. After eating some rice that he swiped from the kitchen, he decided he would bathe then go to sleep early. After all, he had to be prepared for the possibility of tonight being his last night on Oeyama. If he ended up in a serious fight to the death, then he wouldn’t really need to worry about afterwards since his fate would be sealed. However, he hadn’t really thought about where he would go if he were banished instead. Momo did offer to let him stay with her, but after everything she did for him, he would feel a twinge of guilt for taking further advantage of her kindness. There was no point in worrying about it now. His eyes slowly closed and the warmth of the futon lulled him to sleep.
It wasn’t quite daylight outside, but the sky was becoming brighter. Ibaraki slowly sat up and rubbed his drowsy eyes to adjust to the light. He certainly would miss waking up at this time from the warm futon in this room.
At that moment, he heard two sets of footsteps on the floor outside the room getting closer. There were a few taps on the wooden part of the shoji before a familiar voice spoke.
"Hey, Ibaraki, are you up? Um, could I come in?"
"Yes, my friend. You can come in."
The shoji slid fast, but Shuten was even faster in approaching him.
"Ah, what’s wrong, my friend?!" Ibaraki was caught off guard by Shuten suddenly hugging him for dear life, but he instinctively hugged his friend back.
"You’re really here. You’re still here. I’m not dreaming." Shuten’s voice was hushed and so full of worry. His hair was wild and not tied up. He also came here in his sleepwear. It was quite strange since Shuten usually woke up at a later time in the morning.
"You know, he was quite worried that you wouldn’t come back. We realized you were already asleep by the time we came back last night, so I told him to leave you alone. He made me wake him up early this morning just so he could make sure you were still here." Hoshiguma was leaning on the entrance and keeping his promise to Momo (more like following her orders) to have the two oni talk to each other. As much as it was a pain in the ass for him, he was still invested in whatever was going on between the two. Not like he would admit that out loud…
Shuten turned his head to face Hoshiguma. "Oi, you didn’t have to tell him that!"
The caretaker of Oeyama chuckled and turned to shut the shoji on his way out. "Well, I will leave you two to your conversation. I'll be nearby if you need me." He smiled knowing that these two would be just fine.
Shuten pulled away from the hug first and looked at Ibaraki with worry still on his face.
"Ibaraki, I know that our last conversation was uncomfortable for you to experience. I know that I’m crappy with words, so I am really sorry for making you feel cornered. It’s just…I worried a lot about you dealing with the disease by yourself."
"You do not need to apologize. I should not have yelled at you. I know that you wanted to help me, so please do not blame yourself for my display of weakness."
"I…I met with the flower girl that you visited a lot. She told me that I have to talk to you again and be honest. I don’t even know if her advice will even help, but I’m willing to try again. I want you to know that you can tell me anything. As proof of that, I am willing to tell you something that I’ve been hiding for a bit. I don't need you to answer, I just thought that…you deserve to know what I've been thinking."
Ibaraki could feel a lump in his throat from the anxiety. With Shuten wanting to speak his piece first, Ibaraki was feeling less confident that he could tell his friend about his feelings.
"Ibaraki, you’ve changed my life in ways you don’t realize. Back when you first came here challenging me, I thought you were some amusing arrogant guy that I could easily beat. You proved me wrong though and after that, you intrigued me even more. You made me feel the thrill of fighting that nobody else has ever given me. I remember after that first challenge when I offered you a drink, you were reluctant, but you still took it. Over time, you learned to graciously accept my drinks. At some point, I realized I didn’t need to fight you to have a good time. Having drinks and looking at the scenery together was just as enjoyable. You've given me a lot to enjoy in my life. I never thought that there would be someone in this world who could understand me or treat me like any other person that wasn't the Demon King. Without you on Oeyama or by my side, my life feels...wrong and empty. I would like to us to be more than sparring partners and friends. I want to share my life with you. Ibaraki, I...tch, why is it so hard to say this?!" The red-haired demon was scratching his head as if that would make it easier to confess.
"Ibaraki, I want you to be the one with whom I spend the rest of my life. I want us to share drinks, punches, pain, and happiness...I'm in love with you, but I also don't want you to give up anything for me since you already have someone else. I'd rather you be happy with another than miserable with me."
Shuten lowered his head in shame, afraid to see his friend's expression. The silence had gone on for seconds with no audible response, so he dared to look up. Ibaraki had a blushing face along with shock plastered onto it.
"My friend...are you aware of the meaning behind the words you just said to me? You are not toying with me? This is not a dream?" His eyes were beginning to water.
"No, I would not joke about this! I meant everything I said. It took me a lot of nerves to say all of this and you know I’m not eloquent with my words like you…"
Now Shuten was the one fidgeting this time around, scratching his head and averting his gaze. He then closed his eyes and sighed in relief mostly for being able to say what he needed to say.
"Anyways, like I said before, you don’t need to answer. I just needed to get that off my chest and also Momo was getting on my ass about it-"
It was Shuten’s turn to get caught off guard by a hug this time. The amount of pressure Ibaraki applied could have been enough to kill a normal human.
"Huh, what’s wrong?! Did I say something bad?" He could hear his friend sniffling next to his ears.
"No, it’s not bad. There is something I must confess to you as well." That last sentence got Shuten immediately nervous. What could his dear friend have to say to him after he spilled his whole heart to him?
Ibaraki pulled away to look directly at Shuten’s face. After hearing the heartfelt confession, he could proudly say what he had been hiding for so long. "The reason I have Hanahaki Disease…is because it’s you." Even with tears streaming down his smiling face, Shuten still found Ibaraki beautiful. There was no way the most gorgeous person in the world also felt the same as he did, right? Surely it was just pressure…
"You’re serious? Truly? You’re not just saying that because you would feel bad for not reciprocating my feelings, right?"
"No, my friend, I truly mean it with my life. I told you that you are worth dying for and I have never known anything more true to me. You have changed me more than you know. For that, I will never be able to repay you. All that I can give you is my body and soul. I also wish to spend the rest of my life with you if you will accept me."
"Of course I will! Damn, I really am the happiest guy in the world right now. You have no idea how much you scared me. You didn’t want to confess and you didn’t want to get rid of the flowers. I was terrified hearing that you would willingly give up your life to the disease. I still can’t believe it. It’s really me." There was much joy that couldn’t be expressed with just words in that moment. Shuten raised a hand to caress Ibaraki’s tear-stained cheek. A thumb gently swiped underneath the eye.
"Hey, can I kiss you?"
"Of course, my dear friend. My body is yours for the rest of our lives." Ibaraki had a smile bright enough to rival the sun.
"Don’t say it like that…" Shuten had turned almost as red as his hair, which Ibaraki found quite cute.
This was both of their first times kissing. Even if they didn’t know how to kiss, their instincts somehow told them to tilt their heads a bit so they didn’t knock noses together. It was just a brief moment before they brushed lips together. Even without experience, their hearts told them that this felt right. The world felt right at that moment as if to say they were meant to be here. Together.
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
AO3 Link
Chapter 7: Wallowing in Guilt
Summary: Shuten and Ibaraki are a MESS after the conversation, no surprise there. Luckily they have people there to get them through the waves of emotional turmoil.
After their conversation, Ibaraki disappeared from Oeyama. The chances of him going back to that girl were likely. However, Shuten didn't have the heart to go after him, especially after what happened. All he could do now was drink himself into a stupor. Hoshiguma of course was not having it.
"Oi, if you're gonna drink yourself to death, could you at least keep the bottles in the same area so I don't have to go all over your room collecting them?" He heard a grumble come out from the red-haired demon.
"So I take it your conversation with Ibaraki didn't go well? What happened?"
"...................."
"Come on, let me hear it. I won't judge you...probably."
"...I made him cry, Hoshiguma. I made him cry. I suggested that I help him with removing the flowers if his love interest didn't reciprocate, but he refused quite vehemently. After he shouted at me, he freaked out, got scared, and cried. I don't care that he yelled at me, I just wanted him to reconsider doing nothing when he could be free from the disease..."
Hoshiguma had a solemn look on his face, considering that everybody on Oeyama knew Ibaraki to be quite the proud oni. Nobody could ever imagine that he could cry, but knowing that someone somehow managed to do so was concerning.
"It also turns out that the person he's in love with isn't the person we saw in the forest. I tried asking him who it was, but he wouldn't tell me. He told me that he was sorry then left after that. Hoshiguma, I know I messed up, tell me how I can fix this..."
"You say you messed up, but you didn't yell at him or coerce him after telling him your concerns, right? I'd say you did okay for a guy who just knows how to fight. You guys needed to talk about it anyways since it was kinda making things awkward between you two. It was going to be an uncomfortable conversation no matter how you guys approached it. I know you have more sense when it comes to saying things, so I trust you didn't say something stupid or insulting just to hurt him. You're a much kinder man than you realize. If anything, I'm impressed it didn't lead to a physical fight."
It was true that Shuten did keep his cool for the most part throughout the conversation, but he still felt bad that Ibaraki ended up crying.
"You said that he got scared after he yelled at you. If what you say is true, then it sounds like he's got a lot on his mind. Considering the sort of guy that he is, the idea of love and everything else probably has been keeping him stressed. He's an extremely proud oni who has looked down on having romantic feelings for a long time. There's no doubt that this disease has been making him feel unsettled, probably even scared of not only himself becoming weak but also us on Oeyama. It would explain why he's been acting so secretive."
"You're saying that...he's become afraid of us because of this disease?"
"Mhm, afraid of how we'll treat him or react because of it. After all, we're oni."
Shuten could never think that Ibaraki was weak just because of this disease. If anything, Ibaraki was still the only one to keep up with him in a fight, so he was most certainly not weak. At the end of the day, he didn't really care whether Ibaraki was weak or not. He just wanted somebody with whom he could spend his time. Somebody with whom he could share drinks, laughs, punches, pain, smiles, anything...
Shuten's chest tightened and then he felt an itching sensation at the back of his throat building. "What am I supposed to do then? I don't want to use the oni way to force him to listen to me, but I also don't want him to die from the disease just for this one person."
"What if the oni way is the only way he'll listen? Give him something he's familiar with to establish his position? You're both fighters and you both suck at feelings. As wrong as it sounds, I say you should use your fists, not words. It may look like you're not giving him a choice, but as I said before, this is Ibaraki that we're talking about. He may be oblivious, but he's also not dumb. He'll see the sincerity of your words through a fight. Either way, it doesn't seem like we'll get anywhere with only words unless...that flower girl can help us?"
Wait, maybe she could help. After all, Ibaraki said he had been consulting her on this issue. Maybe his friend would be more likely to listen to someone who's better with words?
"Let's go see her." Shuten slowly got up, stretched his back, and headed out of his room.
"Wait...right now??? Isn't he going to be there? Hey, we need to clean this up! You can't keep making last minute decisions! Hold up!"
In Shuten's eyes, it didn't really matter if Ibaraki was there or not since he wouldn't listen to him anyway. If he was there, then it would be better, but his main goal was the flower girl. She would have to be the one to convince his friend to not carry his burden till he died. Well, time to make another trip to the peach blossom forest.
"He found out that I have the disease although he mistook you as the object of my affections. He offered to help me confess and when I told him I wouldn’t, he offered to help me get rid of the root cause instead. That’s when…I yelled at him and told him not to do that. Even after learning that you were not the one, he still wanted to know more. I couldn’t bear to tell him, so I…I left and came here."
Momo looked at the white-haired oni with hope. "Isn’t this actually good? He sounds like he’s genuinely worried about you!"
Ibaraki dropped his head. "That’s only because he is unaware of the whole truth. It matters not anymore…not when I yelled at him. I could go along with most suggestions he has and I would follow him to hell and back, but helping me with this…this I cannot allow to pass. If he never forgives me for my blunder, then I shall live with it. I won’t let him suffer for my own problems."
Momo truly wished he understood how much better off he would be if he confessed. If this Shuten Doji was someone who would be disgusted by Ibaraki’s feelings and lash out, then maybe he did deserve to be erased from the latter’s memories. She already promised the oni that she would be by his side if the worst came to pass. The flower girl might not be able to get rid of the disease and she might not be as strong, but she was quite determined. Ibaraki was an unlikely friend to her, but he was still a friend regardless. She’d try to help him heal as best as she could.
"I know you love him dearly, but aren’t you underestimating him too much? He doesn’t seem the type to get too angry with you-um, at least based off of what you told me. You won’t like what I have to say, but now it seems that you’re treating him like a child rather than a friend you trust. If he is really someone whom you trust, then I’m sure he can handle the truth of your feelings."
Ibaraki couldn’t deny the truth behind Momo’s words, so he just stayed silent until he felt something in his body. Suddenly he got up with wariness and slight panic.
"He’s coming!" Without wasting a second, the white-haired oni disappeared into the trees.
"Wait, where are you going?! Geez, you need to learn to rely on your friend more." Momo huffed, having been left alone again.
Seconds after Ibaraki disappearing, two people came out from the trees on the opposite end of where Ibaraki left. The first thing Momo noticed was wild, flaming red hair. It didn’t take long for her to know who came here.
"Oi, flower girl, have you seen Ibaraki?"
"Hmph, what is it with you demons being rude upon seeing me? It’s not ‘you’ or ‘flower girl,’ it’s Momo! I swear, if I did the same thing to the great Shuten Doji, I’d be killed in a second!"
"Wait, you know me?"
"Oho, she immediately recognized you. Very impressive!" Hoshiguma expressed his surprise with a bit of a devilish smile in his closed eyes.
"Ibaraki told me a lot about you. It’s not hard to recognize you. Who else would come here looking for Ibaraki, has red hair, and has a stifling presence? I know you’re the real deal. Besides I saw you guys before when you were hiding in the trees."
"Well, since you already know who I am, let’s cut the crap and get right to it. I need you to help me talk to Ibaraki. He won’t listen to me."
"Let me guess. 'Confess or get the flowers removed otherwise you’ll die,' right? Trust me, I’ve told him pretty much the same things you’ve told him. He’s listening to me just as much as he is to you. Hmph, if only he weren't so annoyingly stubborn. It took him days just to acknowledge his feelings. I’m sorry, but as much as I want to, I don’t think I can help you."
"Momo, please. I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t know what to tell him so that he doesn’t forfeit his life." Momo looked at his violet eyes and she saw genuine pain. A cough ripped itself from Shuten's mouth and white flowers fell onto the ground as he was struggling. The two bystanders were taken aback by the sight in front of them.
"Shuten Doji!" Hoshiguma came to his leader's side and put his hand on Shuten's shaking back as he was recovering. ".......how long?"
"Not that long. Felt them in my throat as I was talking to Ibaraki."
Momo looked between Shuten and the flowers on the ground. "Do you mean today? Those flowers...those are almost fully grown..." Her eyes were blown wide as her head was swimming in confusion and realization. "Wait...for him?"
"Yes, for him...it feels like maybe I've been in love with him for a long time, but I just didn't realize it. Guess I sound stupid now when I think about it."
"You need to talk to him. NOW. Tell him the truth." Momo grabbed his shoulders and looked at him with fire in her eyes. There was no way she was going to have these two idiots with Hanahaki Disease not talk to each other again now that the picture was clear.
"Huh? Why? I already decided not to tell him since I want him to be happy, not forcing himself to be with me."
"I'm telling you that you two just need to talk again. This time, please be honest with each other." She released Shuten's shoulders then turned to Hoshiguma. "You there with the shifty face, I'm guessing you're Hoshiguma Doji. Make sure the two muscle-headed idiots properly talk to each other when you're all together on your mountain."
Shuten scratched his head in confusion. He figured that the flower girl knew what she was doing, so he decided to listen to her. "I don't see how my confession will get him to listen, but sure, I could try."
"Trust me, you'll see what I mean later. Now shoo! Go find him!" Momo had made a shooing hand motion to match her words.
As soon as Shuten and Hoshiguma left her line of vision, the flower girl giggled to herself after thinking about what she learned. Based off of what she heard from others, usually it takes a lot of time for flowers inside a person to develop. It would be similar to the rate at which Ibaraki's flowers grew. It could range between a week to even a few months for buds to fully become flowers. However, it was also possible for flowers to develop much faster when the amount of love they sense is greater than the average amount.
Momo shifted her gaze to the white flowers on the ground. Hmm, wisteria. Seems fitting since it kinda does look like Ibaraki. How lucky he is to be so loved.
She knew that it would have been quicker if she told Shuten the whole situation, but she also knew better. After all, it would be good for the both of them to hear the words they needed to say to each other properly.
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
AO3 Link
Chapter 6: Tears Shed On the Words Unsaid
Summary: Shuten gives Ibaraki the talk and it is as uncomfortable as anyone can imagine it is for the both of them...
It was about an hour or so later after the duo came back when Ibaraki returned. Shuten had been pacing back and forth in his own room trying to figure out how to approach him. It was definitely not going to be an easy topic to bring up. When he sensed Ibaraki’s return, he went out to welcome him back.
“My friend, have you been waiting for me?”
“Um, yeah, there’s something that I wanted to talk about-no, we need to talk about it. You can freshen up first before we have that conversation though.”
Ibaraki turned his gaze downward and quietly said, “Of course. Allow me to clean up first and I’ll come by your room later.” He then proceeded to walk away, leaving Shuten by himself at the entrance.
As the white-haired oni walked away, Shuten caught a whiff of the floral fragrance clinging to his friend. He wasn’t fond of the fact that he smelled like her, but he was glad that it didn’t overpower Ibaraki’s own scent. Something about it was very comforting to him. The best way he could describe it was…home. He didn't know how else to describe it in a way that others could relate. Ibaraki's scent just reminded him a lot of Oeyama. As long as they were together, no matter where they went, Shuten would always feel at home with Ibaraki.
Now that he was alone again, he had to figure out how exactly to bring up the issue, but his head came up empty. "Damn it, I need some wine." Cue Shuten heading off to get some alcohol to calm his nerves.
By the time Ibaraki came by his room, Shuten had downed four bottles and was working through the fifth one. It was definitely not enough to get him drunk, but it did the trick of relaxing him.
“My friend, I’ve finished cleaning up. May I come in now?”
“Ah, yeah, come in.”
The shoji slowly opened with Ibaraki being as careful as possible, having accidentally tore it in the distant past. After closing the shoji, he shuffled a bit then sat down in front of Shuten. Ibaraki was a lot more fidgety to the point he looked uncomfortable. This did not escape the red-haired oni's gaze, but he also figured he shouldn't point it out.
"There's no easy way for me to bring this up, but..." Shuten was currently scratching his head, pondering his next words carefully. "Hoshiguma brought it to my attention that - crap, how do I put this - you may have gotten Hanahaki Disease. I wasn't sure if you knew about it, but I know that it's one hell of a nasty disease to have."
Ibaraki's face flushed and Shuten immediately regretted his words. "Ah, it's nothing to be embarrassed about! It just happens to some people, uhh, yeah, even the best of us could get it out of nowhere!" Well...not exactly out of nowhere, but he was struggling to find the right words to comfort his friend. After all, they were both fighters who typically let their fists do the talking.
Now his friend was looking at anywhere but him, clearly unable to disguise his discomfort.
"I...I know what it is and how it goes away, but I can't do it."
"Ah, is it because of nerves? Don’t worry, I can have Hoshiguma help you with practicing the confession. He’s probably the best option out of all of us to help you...yeah, probably.”
“No, it’s not that. I…do not plan on confessing.”
“Wait, are you afraid they won’t reciprocate? I mean I guess that’s a fair reason to be hesitant, but you also don’t know that they don’t have feelings for you. If anything, at least if you confess, you can live without regrets.” He knew how ironic it was coming from someone who also wasn’t going to confess…
“That’s…no, I can’t risk it. It would ruin everything between us.”
“You don’t know that though. Okay, let’s say that they don’t reciprocate. I will do whatever I can to help you get the flowers out. I’ll find the best doctor to operate on you or maybe the strongest onmyoji to cast magic. Then you can forget about them for the rest of your life. You’ll never have to think about them or be hurt by the thought of them ever again.”
“NO!” It took Ibaraki a moment to realize what he just did and he recoiled in his spot. “A-ah, forgive me, my friend. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, please forgive me.” The man was physically and verbally shaking. He was breaking down with tears on the verge of spilling from his eyes. Shuten was horrified by what he was seeing. He had never seen Ibaraki act like this, not once in the years they’ve known each other. He truly did not mean to bring Ibaraki to this point and now the guilt was devouring him alive. Coming into this conversation, he had been ready for Ibaraki to yell and fight him. He was even prepared to get mauled just for sticking his nose in his business. This was the last thing he ever thought would happen.
“I…I’m sorry, Ibaraki. I didn’t know how much you really cared about this person. I wish I could say this better, but that person is not worth your life. Please, I’m telling you to reconsider. You know that you’ll die if you don’t get the flowers out one way or another.” At this point, there was no eye contact being kept. Ibaraki was just staring at the floor trying to compose himself. “It may be for the best…and you are also wrong, my friend. This person is worth my life. I’d give it up to make sure they smile for the rest of their life.”
Shuten grit his teeth. Why? Why couldn’t it have been him? His heart was torn from seeing Ibaraki so vulnerable. He never wanted to force Ibaraki to do things that he didn't want to do, but when it came down to a matter of life and death...he was willing to push that aside. Screw his friend's stubbornness!
"Ibaraki, please don't do this. Hate me if you must, tear my heart out if you wish, I will give you anything you want, but don't let yourself die for this person." Shuten had grabbed his friend's shoulders and placed his forehead against Ibaraki's as if that would change his mind and make him stay.
"My friend, you need not do any of that! You do not need to do anything for me, this is my own problem to handle..." Tears were flowing down Ibaraki's face, partially blurring his vision. It honestly is quite impressive how even now he was being stubborn.
"Ibaraki, you don't need to face this alone. That's what I'm telling you. I know you strongly adhere to the oni's way of strength, but this disease is awful. Even the strong can't escape its death sentence once it has taken root inside."
"Even if you tell me that, I can't confess no matter what."
"Why are you being so adamant? Is she really worth it?" Although he knew that the flower spirit didn't really do anything wrong, Shuten couldn't help but be a bit bitter.
Ibaraki let out a sniffle before looking up. "She? Who are you talking about, my friend?" Oh crap, he let it slip by accident. Well, time to come clean about it. He was already prepared to get socked anyways.
"I'm...I'm really sorry, Ibaraki. I followed you to see where you kept going everyday. I saw you with that flower girl near the peach trees. You looked...really happy with her." Ibaraki simply stared at him blankly for a few moments before responding. "Ah, so you saw me with her. I do not have feelings for her. I merely consulted with her about my situation since I assumed that as a flower spirit, she would have answers for me."
Wait, what? On one hand, Shuten felt relieved that he didn't hold feelings for her. However...who then was the person that caused Ibaraki to succumb to Hanahaki Disease?
"Oi, Ibaraki, please tell me who it is that you have feelings for. Who the hell is it that has won your heart? You refuse to confess and you are so against the idea of getting rid of the flowers. I don't understand." Shuten was feeling the full weight of despair. Not only was his friend in love with another, but he also was willing to suffer in silence at his own detriment. Ibaraki had a sad smile on his face, painful but also beautiful to behold.
"I'm truly sorry, my friend." After that, the white-haired oni got up and left the room without another word, leaving his friend alone once again.
Shuten sat there, still not having processed everything. A cough suddenly erupted from him and he spat out tiny buds that he was holding back during the conversation.
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
AO3 Link
Chapter 5: The Way I Feel About You
Summary: Shuten and Hoshiguma make their way to find out where Ibaraki has been going. The scene that they encounter is not what they expect...
“Good thing you have a way to find him. I will say, though, I’m surprised you even have this.”
Quite honestly, Shuten was also surprised that he still had it on him. It was a talisman that was given to him in some human town which he visited with Ibaraki a long time ago. They received the talisman from a merchant who sold some pretty good sake. He recognized them and was very grateful for the oni pair often helping his business. As a result, he gave the talisman as a token of good will and thought Shuten might find a better use for it. When asked about where he got it, the merchant replied that it was something given to him for free. He was told by the previous owner that it had the ability to find lost objects and people. All the talisman would need is the bearer's thought of the target they want to find. Normally Shuten would have rejected it since it just sounded like a strange situation, but he also didn't see the harm in accepting it. If something were to arise because of the talisman, he was confident he could handle it. He simply accepted it and left it around in his home, thinking he wouldn't need to use it. Since then, nothing ever happened with the talisman. He initially doubted that it would do what the merchant claimed it would do, but now he was truly grateful that it actually worked.
“Hmm, maybe I should thank that guy for giving this to me the next time I see him. Anyways, we need to find Ibaraki fast.”
The talisman quivered before continuing its search for the white-haired oni. There were a lot of twists and turns as the talisman led the duo through a large forest. They had noted how this location was quite far from their beloved mountain. They wondered at what point Ibaraki would have come around this area. So many questions plagued their minds as they let curiosity take over. What exactly would they see when they reached Ibaraki? What did the mystery person look like? Was this person truly worthy of him? What did he like about them?
After a short while, they reached a clearing surrounded by peach blossom trees. Hoshiguma caught a petal that slowly fell down from a branch and brought it to his nose. “Hmm, so this is the floral fragrance in his room that I smelled. Well, that clears up that mystery.”
The talisman started shaking aggressively to signal that the target was very near them. Shuten grabbed it out of the air before it had any chance of alerting Ibaraki. The white-haired demon himself was found a good distance away from Shuten and Hoshiguma, sitting on a boulder. The duo hid in the trees, trying to catch on the conversation. They could not hear him well, but they saw to whom Ibaraki was addressing. She appeared to be a young spirit, very clearly the one that lived with these peach blossom trees. She looked quite dainty and soft-spoken. In all honesty, she was the exact opposite of what they expected his “crush” to look like.
“Hmm, so this is who he’s been meeting this past week? She doesn’t look like much if I’m being honest. Nice but weak. Also I’m surprised that Ibaraki hasn’t showed any sign of noticing us. Normally he’d be vigilant, even more so when you are around.” Hoshiguma did raise a very good point. Was this the power of romantic love? Was Ibaraki so enamored by this flower spirit that he didn’t even notice his best friend’s presence?
Right then, the flower spirit raised her sleeve as she was giggling and Ibaraki made this particular expression that made Shuten feel a certain way. He was smiling and he just looked so…soft. Shuten had never seen him make that face around him back on the mountain. His eyes looked so warm. The more he looked at Ibaraki’s face, the more he could imagine bringing a hand up to caress his cheeks. He could almost feel the warmth radiate off him. Shuten took it a step further and imagined him nuzzling into his hand. He wished that Ibaraki would look at him like that.
…..…..Oh. Well, this was definitely one way of coming to a realization. Shuten didn’t mind the idea of being in love with Ibaraki. It was more like he wasn’t expecting it. Compared to Ibaraki, he was more aware of what love could feel like, but somehow he never realized that he felt it. He didn’t even know at what point he started feeling this way about his friend. He probably should have known when he started getting a funny feeling in his chest whenever he saw his friend. Good news was that he wasn’t in denial; bad news was that he didn’t really have the heart to confess to Ibaraki under these circumstances. Damn, this was bad timing. If only he were the one who was the object of his friend’s affections…
He was a bit tempted to step out of his hiding spot to tell Ibaraki the truth, but could he really do that to him? Could he really tell him that he had feelings for him when Ibaraki was already in front of the one who made him smile? Shuten couldn’t make him happy in the same way that this flower spirit did.
Ibaraki suddenly coughed up bloody red, pink, and white flowers, startling both the girl and the duo hiding in the trees. Shuten was about to step out of his hiding place to come to his friend’s aid, but Hoshiguma stopped him.
“Oi, what the hell are you doing? Let me go.”
“Do you even know what you’re about to do? In case you forgot, Ibaraki somehow hasn’t caught onto us and if he has, then he hasn’t shown it. What are you going to tell him? That we’ve been following him and you have feelings for him right in front of her?”
Shuten looked at him in shock. “Please don’t look surprised. It’s been a long time coming. You always have this expression on your face reserved for Ibaraki whenever you see him. It was quite easy to tell how you felt about him. I’m surprised you didn’t notice it sooner. Did you forget the time when he was gone for four days because of the errand you sent him on? You were worrying and waiting for him like a lovesick puppy.”
“I wasn’t waiting for him like a lovesick puppy. I was just…worried.”
“Mhm, my point still stands. So what will you do then? I assume you know the consequences of your options.”
If Shuten confessed, he would feel terrible for burdening Ibaraki with his feelings. If he didn’t, then Ibaraki could be happy with the flower girl, but Shuten would still suffer from the disease. What else could he do but step back and let his friend pursue his love interest?
He’d rather stay quiet about this and let Ibaraki do what he wanted without any prior knowledge about his feelings. He knew that Ibaraki was a man who would sacrifice his own happiness for him. Shuten didn’t need him to do that when seeing him already made him the happiest man in the world.
“He doesn’t need to know, but there’s also the issue of him needing to confess. He’s a stubborn guy after all.”
“Hmm, yes, you’re right. We can go back to the mountain first. When he comes back, we could give him a little push in the right direction.”
“Alright then, let’s head back.” As they were about to leave, Shuten turned his head back to see Ibaraki talking fervently with the flower girl while holding something in his hand that was too far away to see. The red-haired demon had a faint smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
AO3 Link
Chapter 4: Even Secrets Don't Last Forever
Summary: Feeling conflicted between letting Ibaraki have his own space and trying to get to the bottom of the situation, Shuten instead seeks answers by asking others if they know anything about it.
During one afternoon while Ibaraki was gone, Shuten went off for an interrogation around Oeyama. It mostly consisted of a combination of “Oi, have you seen Ibaraki?” and “Do you know what has happened to Ibaraki?”
His interrogation unfortunately did not come up with anything substantial to give him a clear answer. Nobody had really paid attention to where Ibaraki had gone. The only one who even had some clue of what might have happened to his friend was Hoshiguma Doji. He found this particular demon bringing in laundry from the yard when he came back after asking around the mountain.
“Hm, Shuten Doji? Did you need something?”
“Have you seen Ibaraki lately?”
“Mm, no more than you have. He’s definitely been acting different.”
“Do you know why?”
“I don’t know the reason for sure, but I suspect…a few things.”
“What things?”
“He has been coughing quite a bit. He generally looks fine, but it’s still strange that he’s been coughing the amount that I’ve been hearing when I’m around. I’ve tried to offer him my assistance, but he would always reject it and tell me that he’s fine.” Well, why was Shuten not surprised by that…
“When I was cleaning his room, I’ve noticed a few flower buds. It seemed like he was trying to hide them, but he missed a few in some sneaky crevices. His room has also been gaining a hint of some floral fragrance, but for some reason, it doesn’t match the scent of the buds that I found. Hopefully my nose isn’t playing tricks on me with this.”
This was a lot more information than Shuten had been expecting for today’s investigation. Sure, he wasn’t given a straight answer on the issue, but it was still a start. Hoshiguma truly was one of the most reliable oni on this mountain. Although Shuten did think that Hoshiguma should have said something sooner considering that he noticed those other changes in Ibaraki’s behavior and room.
“Got any of them on you?”
Hoshiguma pulled a few out from his sleeves with ease. “I figured you might ask, so I kept some just in case.”
Shuten eyed the buds in his palm carefully. He normally didn’t interact with flowers, but he could still appreciate their beauty. Out of the five buds he got, two were still closed shut and three were barely open. The strangest thing to consider was why Ibaraki had them in his room in the first place. In all of the years they’ve known each other, he knew Ibaraki was not the type to collect flowers. After all, they spent a majority of their time fighting and drinking together. He even caught multiple glimpses of the room before and Ibaraki was fine with simplicity. In fact, when Shuten told Ibaraki that he could decorate it as he wished, the latter was very adamant about leaving it the way it was prepared. It was strange since Ibaraki stayed over in that room several times already, so he might as well decorate it. In the end, Shuten didn’t press him too much about it, but at least he let Ibaraki know that the option was always open. So what’s changed now?
Hoshiguma grasped his chin with his fingers while musing. “Hmm, this may be a bold conclusion of me to make, but…perhaps he has fallen in love?”
“………………Hah?”
“If my suspicions are true, then he may have gotten Hanahaki Disease. It would explain all the coughing, the buds, and his disappearances each day. Maybe he’s been going to see his crush.”
Well…that would make sense, but it just seemed out of character to Shuten. His friend had never shown any interest in pursuing romance although Shuten supposed that he also never asked. His friend probably wouldn’t reveal this information so easily. Was this another topic that Ibaraki didn’t feel comfortable talking about with him? He was very much aware of the stigma towards romance among his kind. However, he would never judge Ibaraki or anybody for that matter for falling in love. It was a natural feeling to have, but he also knew that not everybody was interested in it. He just assumed that Ibaraki was one of the latter.
They’ve been friends for a long time and Ibaraki was usually an easy person to read. However, this past week made him feel like a stranger. Shuten thought that he knew Ibaraki relatively well. After all, he knew that his favorite food was those human-made candies. Although sake wasn’t necessarily his number one favorite thing to consume, he did enjoy drinking it regardless. He greatly cherished the gifts he received like the bell that Shuten gave him. Ibaraki would wear it constantly on his anklet and it was always shining. Shuten wasn’t expecting him to take such great care of it, but he really did appreciate seeing how meticulous he was. Whenever he got Ibaraki food (or anything for that matter) as a gift, the white-haired demon’s face would light up immediately. He was quite cute when he was excited to see candies. Clearly there was so much that Shuten could say about Ibaraki and yet hearing about this crush (which he’s not even 100% sure is true) out of nowhere shocked him. He supposed everybody had their own secrets, but this left such a weird feeling in him. Did it really bother him so much that Ibaraki could feel such affections for someone else? No…but also yes? He wasn’t sure at this point.
“How about we follow him,” the demon companion inside Hoshiguma’s sake cup brought Shuten out of his thoughts, “and see where he’s been heading off on his own?”
The red-haired demon balked at the suggestion. “Absolutely not. I refuse to infringe on his privacy. If he doesn’t want to bring it up with us around, then he shouldn’t be forced into that position.” Shuten was quiet, but the anger in his voice was enough to send the demon companion back inside the sake cup with a small scream. “Hieee!”
“Yes, normally I’d agree with you,” Hoshiguma responded, “but if this truly is Hanahaki Disease, then it’s also a situation not to be taken lightly. Especially because this is Ibaraki Doji we’re talking about.”
“What do you mean?”
Hoshiguma sighed in exasperation, “How much do you know about the disease?”
“Just the basics; the person who has it has unrequited feelings for another. They have to confess while also getting their feelings reciprocated to get rid of it.”
“You’re correct, but there’s more to it. You can also remove it forcibly through surgery or some sort of magic. However, I’ve heard cases where you can lose your memories in the process. Not guaranteed, but still a cause for concern. Let me ask you this: do you think Ibaraki is an honest man when it comes to feelings?”
There was a clear difference between being easy to read and being honest. Ibaraki was definitely a straightforward man, but when it came to feelings specifically…Shuten already knew the answer to this and unfortunately for Ibaraki, the answer was no. “We all know that he’s not honest. What are you getting at?”
“Well, in some cases, the victim refuses to confess for various reasons. Some are incredibly stubborn to the point they die when the flower inside them fully develops. But since he is a demon, maybe he’ll just brute force his way out of this and somehow it’ll disappear. How do you think this disease will turn out for Ibaraki-wait, where are you going? I thought you weren’t going to follow him! How are you going to find him?!” Without missing a beat, Shuten sprinted with Hoshiguma running after him.
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
AO3 Link
Chapter 3: Choking in Unspoken Feelings
Summary: Ibaraki tries his best to keep his secret from Shuten. He's only partially successful...
Needless to say, Ibaraki struggled trying to maintain his secret. Shuten knew that there was something wrong with Ibaraki when the issue didn't go away after a few days. An awkward week had passed between the two friends. Whenever they had their fights, Ibaraki just seemed off. It wasn't that he looked injured, but he appeared quite distant and distracted. Shuten couldn't help but be worried for his friend. Of course, Ibaraki would deny that anything was wrong. On top of the strange behavior, Ibaraki seemed to be gone for longer periods of time now. Shuten felt a little bit more lonely than usual on his mountain. Even the sake that he drank didn't taste that good anymore despite being high quality merchandise. As much as he wanted to get to the bottom of the issue, Shuten also wanted to respect his friend's boundaries. The last thing he wanted was to push him too far to the point he might never return to Oeyama...
Meanwhile Ibaraki would escape to Momo's dwelling after having his brawls with Shuten. Although the flower spirit did very much question his choices, she let him stay regardless.
"You do realize that coming here frequently makes it obvious that you're hiding something from him, right?"
"Yes, but he also does not know what my secret entails. As long as I retain some distance, then the flowers should disappear on their own.”
“That’s…not how it works. You can’t brute force your way out of this.”
“Oho, bold of you to assume, little spirit. My strength and willpower have gotten me out of many situations and it will be no different this time.”
“I highly doubt it, but if you say so.” Momo took a moment to consider her next words carefully. “Don’t you think your disappearances might hurt your friend more than you think? For some people, when their friends start avoiding them, they take it as a sign that their friends don’t like them anymore.”
“Of course not! He would never feel hurt from such a thing.”
Momo narrowed her pink eyes at him. “Did he tell you that himself or are you projecting your expectations onto him? Would you look down on him if he did express pain or sadness from your actions?”
Ibaraki immediately paled and looked at the ground embarrassed. “No, I-I didn’t mean to, it’s just…we often see each other and I rarely see him sad. I can’t recall the last time when he seemed less than cheerful. We’ve always enjoyed our fights-oh…” He only just remembered that during the fights this past week, Shuten didn’t seem all that ecstatic. He would often give him a look that he couldn’t read. Ibaraki’s response told Momo what she needed to know, but she wanted to know more about Shuten Doji himself.
“Tell me, what’s he like? I’ve only heard bits from you.” Momo felt like she was going to regret asking this in a moment.
“He’s the strongest oni! Whenever we fight, it always feels like I’m on fire and he’s the only one who has ever made me feel this way. He is also generous! He always invites me to drink sake with him and to stay over in his home. I noticed that he likes drinking certain flavors at different times during the day. We make sure to get the best quality sake from merchants in human towns. Usually he’ll get both cherry and plum blossom, but he’ll also try other flavors if he’s in the mood. At first, I did not want to go to those human settlements, but he insisted that we would find lots of good things there. I also initially didn’t want to drink the sake he would offer me, but he said that it would be good to drink after I challenged him. Also he-“
There goes the yapping that Momo was expecting, but it was also nice hearing him talk so fondly about the object of his affections. He had a glimmer in his eyes that seemed unexpected for an oni; it was like he held the stars in his eyes. His smile was also warm, not maniacal or crazed like the demon himself but more like the sun. He still believed that he wasn’t in love? The flower girl found it hard to believe. It didn’t seem like he couldn’t love in a romantic sense, more like he didn’t recognize it. She figured there were probably other reasons as well, perhaps more personal.
“-I respect him a lot. I would even give up my life for him!”
The flower spirit raised a hand to pluck a peach blossom off a branch. “Hmm, how nice~ he sounds like quite the figure. I do want to ask you something. With how much you’ve been avoiding him and trying to get rid of your romantic feelings, do you feel happier now than before?”
Ibaraki stared at her. “…what?”
Momo was swinging her legs back and forth while looking at the blossom in her hand. “Do you feel happier trying to avoid him and denying your love for him?”
Ibaraki found himself unable to respond. The hard cold truth was that no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about Shuten this past week. As much as he tried to avoid his friend, he still couldn’t get rid of the burning feeling in his heart. Ibaraki was definitely not a fool or stupid for that matter, but his denial was on a whole other level. Deep down in his heart, he knew that his love for Shuten would grow even if he stopped seeing him. His heart hurt so much emotionally and physically now because he missed him. He longed to go back to Oeyama and be with Shuten even if he didn’t reciprocate. Right now, being with him and seeing a smile on his face would be enough. So was he happier? No, he was miserable. He couldn’t lie to Momo and most importantly, he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. He was undoubtedly in love with Shuten.
“Uwah! Ah-what do I do?! There’s a tear running down your face! I didn’t mean to make you cry! What do I do?!?!?!”
Huh, he didn’t even notice the tear. It turned out, in that moment, he was overcome by the need to cough that he didn’t feel the teardrop. He coughed up a bunch of camellias that already bloomed inside him. This did not help to alleviate Momo’s panic. She did manage to pull herself together after a few moments.
“Are you okay? Those flowers look really big.”
Ibaraki quickly rubbed his tear away with his hand. “Yes, I’m fine. I just…” He closed his eyes and breathed a heavy sigh. “I admit that I am in love with him, but…“
“You’re still not going to tell him. Well, at least you’re not denying it any more, but the disease…”
“No, I can’t do it. My feelings would just be a burden on him.”
“Have you ever considered that maybe…he might feel the same as you do? I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s also the type to deny his feelings. A match made in heaven you two would be indeed if that’s the case.”
“If that were the case, then I would not be here. Is the disease not present because my feelings are unrequited? There is no point.”
“He might not have recognized his feelings just like you initially didn’t. Also the point is that you are supposed to be honest with him. Do you not trust him to accept you as a friend even with the truth out?”
Curse this flower spirit for asking all the questions that messed with his brain. “…I don’t know anymore. We’ve been the strongest for so long and we are held to…certain standards. We are not meant to show feelings or vulnerability. I truly do not know if he would accept me even if I am his friend. The other oni on Oeyama might also not accept me. If that happens, nobody will ever listen to me. After all, nobody listens to weaklings…” Ibaraki’s face tensed up at the thought of being kicked out of Oeyama. “There is also no guarantee that he would reciprocate even if I confess. Either way, I’ll die whether it’s from his rage or the disease itself.”
“Well…if that were to happen, I would keep you company. You could even come here-um wait actually, I don’t know if Sakura would be scared off if she ever came to visit while you’re here. Hm, well, we’ll get to that if and when it comes to that!” Ibaraki was grateful that Momo didn’t seem that afraid of him. Maybe she still held a bit of fear, but it would be a respectable amount that seemed appropriate. There was nobody else with whom he could really talk about his problem so he felt lucky that she even listened.
“You have my gratitude, litt-ahem, Momo.“
“Of course. I still think you should just be honest with him, but it is up to you at the end of the day. I just don’t like the idea of seeing you suffering from your feelings. It seems a bit ironic now since I remember you told me that spirits like you can stay loyal to their desires.”
Ibaraki did remember telling her that. How ironic indeed...it was interesting how many thought that love was either weird or a weakness. After all, couldn’t it be considered one of those “desires”? But then again, in the Demon Domain, it was easy to be attacked if you were blinded by such feelings. Perhaps it was a matter of whether you were a strong enough demon or maybe it wasn’t. Regardless, Ibaraki didn’t think that the other oni would understand him easily so why bother being honest? If he knew that he’d be in a compromising situation because of his feelings, perhaps it would have been better for him to never have felt happiness with Shuten.
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
AO3 Link
Chapter 2: Meeting Momo
Summary: The pangs felt in his heart ended up with Ibaraki coughing up flower parts. So who better to ask about his predicament than a flower spirit?
The next day couldn’t come fast enough. Ibaraki left the guest room in Shuten’s home and searched for the general area where that girl would be located. As he came into the view of the beautiful pink trees, he saw the one for whom he was searching. She was dancing gracefully among the peach blossom trees. A twirl here and there, she truly brought even more life to the trees around her. Unfortunately he had no time to let her finish.
“Oi, you!”
“Hmph, it’s not ‘you,’ it’s Momo! You also shouldn’t interrupt a lady when she’s dancing.”
“Well then, Momo, I need you to answer some questions. Did you put some spell on me?” His brash way of speaking definitely left much to be desired…well, at least he didn't beat around the bush.
“Huh, why would I do that? I may be a young spirit, but I’m not that foolish! Everybody knows to stay away from the Ibaraki Doji because of your strength! Ah — ahem, I apologize, my answer is no. Um, what spell exactly has befallen you?”
“I coughed out flower buds. I admit I have not heard much about this, all I know is that you must fulfill a certain condition to get this…sickness.” As an oni who was so used to being strong, he said that last word more quietly. He stuck out his hand to show her the tiny buds.
“Hm? Oh, you have that! Well, that makes things easier to explain. You have Hanahaki Disease.”
“Hanahaki….Disease?”
“It’s a disease you get when you fall in love and it hasn’t been reciprocated. You need to confess to them! The longer you avoid confessing, the more the flowers inside you will grow. I will mention that I've heard some scary things about it, too. Some people have died to it since they either refuse to confess or they did, but their feelings weren't reciprocated. Apparently it doesn't go away unless the other person you're in love with returns your feelings. Well, since we’re spirits, you probably could live with it for a long time. Ahh, so the great Ibaraki Doji has fallen in love, fufufu.”
Ibaraki’s fingers twitched at the thought of possibly becoming weak. “Love?….no, that can’t be. That’s not possible! I, Ibaraki Doji, can’t have these…feelings! Surely you’ve made a mistake. Are you absolutely sure it’s not something else?”
“Hm? Yes, I’m sure it’s Hanahaki. What’s wrong with being in love? Well, I guess when you’re so used to fighting, you don’t care too much about that.” She so wanted to point out how much of a muscle head he sounded right now, but she also valued her life.
“May I ask, is it really so bad for oni to fall in love?” Momo asked this out of genuine curiosity and who better to answer it than one of the strongest oni. The general consensus in society was that the oni were reputable for strength, fiery tempers, and disdain for weakness. Of course there were the occasional exceptions, but the one right here was definitely one of the former.
“Having feelings makes us blind, little spirit. We can’t afford to have our guard down. Nobody will ever listen and take you seriously if you are weak. It’s how we survive.”
“Mmm, I get where you are coming from and some do become blinded by it, but I think that being in love isn’t all that bad. I know you don’t look favorably upon the weak, but we need things in our lives to be happy. We can’t afford to think about how weak we are all the time. For some, love gives them the strength to keep going. It doesn’t seem that much different from how you train or fight against others to become stronger. I assume that’s just what makes you happy. I don’t think you being in love makes you weak. Couldn’t you be both strong and in love? You’d have the strength to come to your loved one’s aid and help them if they ever needed it.”
Quite honestly, Ibaraki had never thought of it that way. He didn’t agree with her completely, but he felt like he could understand the sentiment behind having feelings a bit better, at least for those not like him.
“I see…but who even would I have feelings for? I still don’t understand what love feels like.”
“Well, to be honest, love takes many forms for both romantic and platonic relationships so it's hard to define the way it feels. Surely there is somebody you spend a lot of time with. I assume that you've been friends at least for a while. They make you very happy when you’re with them. They sometimes understand you better than you do. They make you want to be better, not only for them but for yourself as well. They can make you change in the ways you least expect. There's a lot more, but these were just a few things that came to my mind.”
Well, there was someone with whom Ibaraki spent a lot of time. It’s not that he was incapable of interacting with others, but everybody else was usually just an afterthought to him. He only needed to listen to the strongest oni and obey him. Now that he thought about it, he did change quite a bit after meeting Shuten. He used to be solely focused on fighting strong opponents, but he learned to appreciate more aspects of life. Trips to human settlements were enjoyable now thanks to Shuten, even though he still didn’t care about humans that much. Ibaraki opted to look uncomfortably at the ground rather than confirm Momo's suspicions. However, he also felt an itching sensation in his throat at that moment and he proceeded to hack up more flower buds. Looking down at the buds, the white-haired oni was curious about the flower they belonged to. He could ask Momo about it, but he had one more concern to address first.
"Little spirit, is there no other way to be rid of this disease?"
"I've heard that you can quite literally uproot it from your body with an operation or magic, but I don't know how to do either so I can't help. I should warn you that I've also heard that there are some…side effects.” Ibaraki looked up and waited for her to continue. “Obviously taking the flowers out of your body by force will get rid of your romantic feelings, but there’s also the possibility of losing your memories of the person in the process. It doesn’t happen to everybody, but it’s definitely happened to multiple people.”
There were a couple of things that Ibaraki was willing to risk. He’d be willing to give up his…feelings if he had them (very much in denial). He’d be fine with losing a limb or two. Hell, he would even willingly give up his own life, but his memories of Shuten? That was absolutely out of the question! He couldn’t possibly do that, especially with how long they’ve known each other. It would be very strange if he started treating Shuten like a stranger after all these years. Once his friend notices, he’d try to figure out what’s wrong. Shuten must not ever find out about his condition regardless of whether or not memories of him are currently intact. Even if chances were slim, the risk was still too great.
“No, he must not know. Ever. I trust that you will not speak a word of this to anyone.” He glared at Momo with a deadly promise. Momo’s silence was enough to reassure him.
He looked back down at the buds that he coughed up before showing them in front of the flower girl. “Do you know what is the flower that is growing inside me?”
“Hmm, these started to open barely, but I’m pretty sure that these are camellias. You must admire this person a lot!”
There was no denying the mental drain this conversation had on him. However, Ibaraki still managed a smile after seeing the red petals that reminded him of Shuten’s beautiful hair. “Yes, I do.”
By the time the conversation ended, it was around the afternoon. Ibaraki slowly made his way back to Oeyama with every step feeling heavier than before. When he reached his destination, Shuten was already waiting for him at the entrance of his home.
“Hey, you’re back now! Hmm, is something wrong?”
One thing to know about Ibaraki was that he was not great at lying. Shuten liked this about him though because it meant that he wouldn’t have to worry about Ibaraki lying to him…until now.
“No, nothing is wrong, my friend. I just need some rest.” Ibaraki might not be able to say straight lies, but unfortunately he could still deflect and avoid…
Shuten had many doubts about this, but he also wanted to respect Ibaraki’s space. Honestly, he was willing to take care of Ibaraki if needed, but the latter was usually the type to stay quiet anyways. He knew most oni tended to prefer being left alone when they were not in best form, but he noticed Ibaraki was even more extreme when it came to that. Always so loud with refusing his help. Perhaps it was because Ibaraki was one of the strongest for so long that he didn’t feel comfortable showing vulnerability. Not that Shuten cared too much about seeing that, he just wanted to make sure his friend was doing well. In fact, he wished Ibaraki felt like he could trust him seeing his vulnerable side. Well, they had all the time in the world to build up that level of trust, but if Ibaraki never reaches that point, then Shuten would live with that.
“Alright then, hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Make sure to take care of yourself.” Shuten bid the other good night with a wave of his hand and walked off to his own room.
When he reached the guest room, Ibaraki was left to his own thoughts about his conversation with Momo today. He was still shocked by it all. How could he fall in love? He was glad that it was Shuten and not some weakling that was the object of his affections, but it still baffled him. His mind was swimming in an ocean of questions and doubts. Was romantic love really okay? Couldn’t they just be friends who really respected each other? He admits that he really did enjoy spending time with Shuten. He can say that he loved him as friends do, but even more than that? That didn’t seem possible. Perhaps it was his own traitorous heart that confused his actions as romantic gestures. Surely it was that which caused him to get this disease. Maybe if he were to maintain his distance, then the disease would go away.
He lurched forward as he coughed up even more buds than previous times. These were still relatively small, but they were becoming more clear that they were camellias. If only he were in a dream from which he could wake…
**This was fully uploaded on AO3 in January.......imagine reuploading on another site in a timely manner 😭**
AO3 Link
Shuten Doji and Ibaraki Doji Hanahaki AU (1/10)
For many of the oni, the concept of romantic feelings was considered strange at best and a weakness at worst. In their world, might was right and everybody bowed to the whims of the strongest. However, one of the strongest oni somehow fell to a strange phenomenon that involved these feelings. Ibaraki Doji was probably the least expected victim of Hanahaki and yet, here he was coughing up flowers.
Includes: Hanahaki disease, light angst, possible OOC, misunderstandings, mutual pining, denial of feelings, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
**There's not much needed to know about the setting except that this takes place before Minamoto attacked Oeyama, so some characters might act differently from their in-game counterparts, also I can't guarantee accuracy so some details will probably be off**
Chapter 1: The First Buds
Summary: It was no surprise that Ibaraki once again lost to Shuten today, but he honestly didn't mind it as much now compared to back then. Little does Ibaraki know, a moment of self-reflection will very much change him. Whether it's bad or good, that's up to him.
Oeyama was quite the lively mountain with the occasional fights between Shuten Doji and Ibaraki Doji. They never held back in their tussles because that would be an insult to the both of them. The white-haired oni always fought Shuten with everything he had, but he lost so many times to him. Today was no exception.
“My friend…you’ve…bested me…again.” Ibaraki was trying to catch his breath in between his words. Meanwhile Shuten got the two cups of sake ready. After all, it was always a good drink to have after a fight. “Haha, enough fighting for now, let’s have a drink!” Ibaraki of course accepted the sake graciously.
This had become a routine for them ever since Ibaraki met Shuten long ago and started challenging him. At the beginning, Ibaraki was shocked by how Shuten could be a bit laidback at times. He would begrudgingly accept the cup of sake that was always offered to him because he saw no point. All he wanted was to challenge the strongest oni and take the title. However, over time, he came to enjoy having drinks with his dear friend. Ibaraki accepted that, as the strongest oni he has ever met, Shuten had every right to be as friendly and confident as he wanted. He came to truly respect Shuten as a rival and their shared drinks were proof of their friendship.
He would never give up on challenging him, but truth be told, a part of him would be fine with being second to Shuten. As long as he could spend time with him, then he'd be fine with not being number one. He had not felt the same type of rush in a fight with any other until he met Shuten. It was not a feeling that he would give up nor would he find it elsewhere so easily. As he reflected on this, Ibaraki had felt a strange twinge in his chest. It was not painful, but it still felt weird enough for him to notice. However, he decided to pay it no mind. It was probably just his imagination or exhaustion. As they drank their sake, a gentle breeze blew throughout the mountain and the forest they were in. The leaves on the trees gently shook and rays of sunlight danced upon their figures through gaps between those leaves. The rest of their afternoon went along quietly and eventually the night arrived.
That night, Ibaraki had gone to get some more alcohol from the storage area in Shuten’s home. Ibaraki didn’t consider himself a connoisseur like his dear friend, but after some time, he would like to think he learned quite a lot. For example, the sake that he went to get right now had a hint of plum blossom. The one from earlier that afternoon had the taste of cherry blossoms. Over the course of their time spent together drinking, Ibaraki learned the subtleties of various flavor profiles. At the same time, he learned how to make wine. He was glad that he could now hold a few conversations with Shuten when it came to alcohol. He appreciated being included in things that Shuten enjoyed. Whenever he got invited to stay over, he would gladly accept because it was his dear friend. Now he practically lived there. Anything to be able to spend more time with Shuten was worth it.
Another pang in his chest came out of nowhere; it hit just a bit harder than the first one. Ibaraki, being the stubborn demon he was, decided to pay it no mind. After retrieving the sake, he returned to Shuten. “Hey, you took a while there. Is there something wrong?” Ibaraki shook his head and reassured him. “No, nothing is wrong, my friend!” The rest of the night went smoothly.
The next week went by with Ibaraki having those occasional pangs, each one growing slightly more intense than the last one. Of course, he didn’t think that it was anything worth checking. That was until the end of the week arrived…
Small buds were lying in his large hand. It took a few moments for him to process what had just happened. His throat had felt a strange itching sensation and it accumulated until he felt the need to cough. He had heard of this phenomenon, but he didn’t know the exact details. All he knew was that a certain criterion had to be met to be coughing up flower parts. Ibaraki was sure he hadn’t met any onmyoji in a long time so there should have been no way he would fall under some unfortunate spell. He was also sure that he didn’t eat any strange food let alone flowers. His oni constitution was tougher compared to others so he figured his body would get rid of any ill thing that befell him. He didn’t want to mention this to Shuten, but who else could he ask about this? Wait, there was that flower spirit — what was her name? Well, he would know when he came across her. She was often seen near the peach blossom trees. Surely she would know something about these flower buds coming out of him. Was it possible she did something to him when he wasn’t looking? Well, no point in asking about it when she wasn’t here to answer. He would go find her as soon as possible the next day, but for now, he would let the darkness of the night take over him.
I'm sorry for not appearing much online 🫠 I will say it's been good mentally for me (I've heard a lot of things that happened) so there's definitely at least one pro to this 😂
A lot has been going on for me that's kept me from making posts/content and interacting in general online; I got a job a while back around February (how is it almost halfway through the year already ahhhhh 💀) and since then, I've been happy that I have something to do because job-hunting daily for the past couple of years has been draining and miserable along with other events that occurred. However I'm also a bit sad that I haven't been able to keep up with everything else that I want to do when it comes to video games as it is my main hobby when I'm not working, eating, sleeping, just trying to survive in general.
I miss making my lore analyses, but with everything that's happened so far, I don't know how much I can motivate myself especially with Genshin. I enjoy the combat in Genshin a lot, but what drew me to the game in the first place was the lore and story. However, for lack of better words, I'm feeling a bit burnt out from how long we've had to wait for crumbs of certain lore/story content to be possibly answered now. For example, Mondstadt making a reappearance now with Albedo after that first Dragonspine event from a while back. A lot of lore drops/bombs are starting to arrive right about now even though a lot of people including myself have been anticipating answers for quite some time. The first event ever had brought up one popular topic of the sky being "fake" and it wasn't exactly expanded on for a long time, maybe a few mentions here or there later on but not much of an explanation for it. We got the sky being torn apart and explicitly shown to us during Natlan's story. We also have them showing recent promo material with the 3 moon sisters whom many of us were wondering about since Mondstadt. It's been a really long time since many of us anticipated for answers regarding these topics.
I've been more invested in HSR, but that's probably because since it's still a fairly young game, I'm willing to give it more time before I decide to invest less time into it. I have criticisms about its story pacing from time to time, but I still have much interest in the lore and story, so it'll be a waiting game for a bit.
Regarding Hoyoverse content that I might post if and when I have time, it'll probably be less for Genshin and HSR will be prioritized for the time being until further notice. I've been playing non-gacha games (maybe I'll look at Legend of Zelda lore more since I've been playing Tears of the Kingdom) and I want to continue writing fanfics because it's been really fun (there's an Onmyoji fanfic that I keep forgetting to copy to Tumblr which is already out on AO3 😭 I'll probably get on that soon and I'm in the middle of another HSR fanfic that I've been thinking about for weeks). I want to expand my content and my original plan was to stream again in the future, but I don't know when that'll be. For the time being, I will try my best to post content when I can. With Twitter, I haven't been on there for a while and it's been pretty good. If I end up looking at it once in a while, it won't be for too long. It would probably just be "post content/updates then go."
TLDR: My schedule has been keeping me busy. I'm not as invested in Genshin right now because it's just been a long time since I invested myself in the lore and story at the beginning so all the lore drops have been very overwhelming and overdue for me. I need some time to see if I'll treat HSR the same way. I'll try my best to get back into posting content and expand on different games. I also hope to stream again in the future.
*I don't know for certain if I'll be able to come back to Genshin and play soon since there is also the issue of storage on my phone. I will stay updated on the story content from others, so I won't be completely out of the loop.*
Sorry it took me so long to say anything at all, but I do hope everybody has been okay because I know a lot has happened during the time I haven't been interacting online outside of my close circle. Nod-Krai looks interesting and I'm happy for the people who are excited for it. Hopefully I'll be able to come back to making content refreshed :3
Boothill was someone who could appreciate different types of drinks, but he did have his own personal preference. He would try to get his usual order, bartender be willing: seven shots of the same malt juice. However, he'd only take a sip from each. No more, no less. In those shots was a whole storm's worth of memories and emotions of a single wild soul.
****Major spoilers for the new continuance quest Banana Outrage: Battles Without Ninja and Humanity; also spoilers for Boothill's lore if you haven't seen it****
Sweet and mellow with a strong kick
That was an appropriate description for the flavor profile of Boothill's preferred malt drink.
It was a rough time in Penacony trying to resolve the whole Slumbernana incident so why not treat himself to some malt juice? The AtaviSearch Forest caused so much chaos and he was up for some Asdana's White Oak right about now. The Galaxy Ranger was in Dreamflux Reef and the DJ session by Robin had ended just a while ago. He chose to wander around for a bit and during his stroll, he took in the atmosphere of the dreamscape. Quiet, dark, and interestingly normal...
Obviously when compared to the dazzling Golden Hour, Dreamflux Reef seemed more like a humble environment. There was something about it that called out to Boothill. What that something was remained unclear to the cowboy. Was it the fact that the inhabitants remained true to themselves even in a dream world? Was it the blanket of silence that could somehow relax him? Was it the whirlpool in the sky that made for a beautiful view? Almost made it sound like...home. Not exactly the same, but he could imagine being in a place like this if it weren't a dream world.
After admiring the place for a bit, he got up and mulled over whether to stop by Jessie's bar or to head somewhere else for his drinks. A gleaming star in the sky had Boothill looking up and remembering that the Trailblazer's Stern sold some good Asdana's White Oak. At the same time, he might even get to encounter the owner if he got lucky.
The Galaxy Ranger tipped his hat down to Dreamflux Reef as a farewell then made his way to the ship.
"Hmm? Boothill, is that you?"
"Hey there, partner! You in charge of mixin' up drinks tonight?"
"Yeah, after everything with the Slumbernana incident, I figured I could stop by my ship and make some drinks. Help to get my mind off it for a bit, you know?"
"Heh, yeah, I get ya."
Just like that, two friends were quickly reunited at the bar. The Trailblazer was decked out in a bartender's outfit, which they felt was a breath of fresh air from their usual Astral Express clothes. Boothill would also agree that they looked nice in a different outfit. Sleeves were rolled up to their elbows while they were wiping down a glass. A gentle smile was also plastered on their face, exposing a friendly demeanor. As they placed the glass down with a soft clink, they redirected their attention back to Boothill.
"Now what can I get for you, Mr. Galaxy Ranger?"
"Heh, I'll have my usual Asdana's White Oak. Ya better have it the way I like it! Oh yeah, make it seven shots."
"Yeah, yeah, seven shots of Asdana's White Oak. Don't worry, they've already had bullets soaked in them. You know, I had to explain to the staff members why I needed to keep a separate stash of it with some bullets sitting in it. You can imagine the horror on their faces." They let out an exasperated sigh at the memory of the baffled crew members during training.
"HAH!!! Y'all don't get it. The bullet makes the drink mellow out, nothin' difficult to understand 'bout it. You should try it sometime."
"Hehe, I'll take your word for it."
The Trailblazer prepared the seven shots without question. After placing the shot glasses in front of Boothill, they noticed other customers at the bar and proceeded to tend to them.
The cowboy stared at the shot glasses for a moment before taking one sip from the first one he grabbed. It wasn't too alcoholic, but if it were left alone as it was without anything, its normal sweetness could almost taste too intoxicating for some.
Hence the bullet to mellow it out...
He didn't finish his first shot, but he proceeded to do the same for the rest of them. One sip from each, no more and no less...
Every shot reminded him of Aeragan-Epharshel before that happened. It was hard not to think of it when the drink just tasted and looked so much like it.
With the color of the malt juice, he could see the golden plains of his homeland. The Trailblazer left a bullet in one of his shots (he was VERY insistent the first few times about having at least one bullet for himself when he ordered his drinks) and seeing the gleam of it reminded him of the beautiful sunrises. He could imagine himself waking up before the crack of dawn to get a glimpse of the sun slowly rising to the sky. Black and blue would turn into purple and pink until an explosion of gold appeared on the horizon at the right moment.
The kick he got from the first sip made him think of the eagle's cry. If he closed his eyes and imagined hard enough, he could hear her calling out in the blue sky as she passed over the plains and canyons. She never failed to remind him of nature's majesty.
The drink's sweetness brought up memories of the horses he had raised into adulthood. Boothill kept a smile on his face as he drank. The gentle years of watching over the farm with Nick and Graey made an even deeper crinkle in his smiling eyes.
The warmth that lingered at the back of his throat conjured up happy memories of being around a fire with his family and friends. He could hear the soft strumming of a banjo and the beautiful voices singing a familiar tune. In the next moment, he could hear the steady beating of the horses' gallops as he and his brethren traversed the plains.
The clinks of the shot glasses as he placed each one down on the bar reminded him of his daughter's laughter. She was quite the crier (read: screamer) as a baby and as she grew up, she somehow still managed to maintain that distinct sound. Boothill chuckled a bit at the memory of her softly patting the guitar he used to play.
Within those seven sips, he managed to relive his past life full of wonderful memories in his mind.
A figure appeared in his peripheral and he realized it was the Trailblazer. "Are the rest of the shots not to your liking?" Under normal circumstances, they would question and fear waste, but considering this was Boothill, they chose to keep that thought to themself. It was better to be safe than sorry since the cowboy could be a Karen at times.
"Huh? Oh nah, it's just...a very old habit of mine."
"Ah, I see. I wasn't sure if the first few times were just coincidences, but you really do order seven shots and take only seven sips. Quite an interesting habit."
Boothill waited a few moments before asking, "Ain't ya gonna ask why?"
"Do you want me to ask about it? I won't pry into it if you would prefer to keep it that way. I know that we've all got our own secrets to hide. We can always have conversations about other topics or continue in peace until you feel ready to go. I just want to let you know that I'm here if you want to talk. The bar is pretty empty now since the other customers wanted to check out the restaurant so they left earlier with their drinks in tow."
"It's not like I was tryin' to hide it from you, it's just-"
To be fair, it did tie into personal reasons, but he also saw no issue with the bartender. He just never felt the need to bring it up with them during the time they got to know each other. Strangers had no business knowing about his story, but with the Trailblazer...
Boothill looked straight into their eyes. Immediately he could tell that he could trust them if he chose to be vulnerable. Perhaps it was the golden shine in their eyes that called out to him...
"Well, it's not like much would change even if ya knew...I'll tell ya."
"Hang on, I'll get someone to cover for me and we can move elsewhere in case more customers come in. Good timing since I needed a break from mixing drinks." The Trailblazer went to find someone to replace them then brought themself and Boothill to some private room on the ship. They found a chair to sit across from Boothill who was sitting on the couch. "Please don't feel pressured to tell me everything. Just go at your own pace."
"Darn...huh, where do I even start? I don't know how much ya heard 'bout me aside from being a Galaxy Ranger, but I used to be normal. I wasn't all machine and wires and chips. I was...alive. I grew up on a planet called Aeragan-Epharshel with my adopted parents. They were good people, taught me everything I know. I wish ya could've seen my home. The plains, the skies, the canyons, all of them were darn gorgeous! It truly was worth dyin' for...but I guess that sounds wrong of me to say after that muddle fudger and his goons came to fork everything up."
Boothill raised a hand up to grasp at his forehead in frustration.
"That son of a nice lady came and he.....he took everything I loved. My parents, my friends, my people, even my lil' rascal of a daughter.....my home was taken. I couldn't save anyone or anything in the end...."
He shifted his hand on his face to gauge his listener's reaction. They simply nodded and waited for Boothill to say anything whether it was to continue or to stop. It was the first time he felt able to talk about his past. Truth be told, his rage was so loud and yet his voice felt so quiet compared to how he usually sounded. He didn't have the heart to yell or scream. In fact, he didn't want to do any of that. He wanted to cry because he was tired, but he couldn't because he was just so tired. The pain, the rage, the despair...he may be made up of machinery, but deep down, he was still a human.
Of course, he wouldn't stop until he completed his revenge, but it just feels too cruel a fate for a single soul to burn himself out on his mission.
"Those seven shots...they're for the ones I lost back then. Don't look like it now, but I used to drink all seven shots with nothin' left. Back then, shortly after I got my new body, I was too angry to care if I drank too much. Drinkin' was something I could 'enjoy' without my body sufferin' too much. Since then, I drank less because I figured they probably wouldn't want me doin' that to myself. I already set myself for revenge and turned into a killin' machine, probably could do with less drinkin' even if it seems wasteful now to keep orderin' seven. Maybe by the time I get that muddle fudger, I won't be able to drink anymore, heh...for now, it's the only way I can do somethin' for them when I couldn't back then."
Boothill sighed then leaned back on the couch.
"Ya know, my module's not meant to keep a lotta info, otherwise I crash. I kept some important memories of them in there, but that Asdana's White Oak also helps me to remember them. I just keep seeing them whenever I have my malt juice...makes me feel like I'm home again. Well, that's all there is to it. Now ya know the story to my old habit."
The Trailblazer looked at him with understanding. "I'm sorry...and thank you, Boothill. I figured you've been through a lot. I hope one day...you can find peace wherever that may be in this universe."
"Heh, maybe one day although I'm doubtful..."
The Galaxy Ranger and the Trailblazer could only hope that they both find whatever their hearts desire at the end of their journeys. May their hearts burn bright as they move forward to their futures.
Seven shots for the road
One for Nick
One for Graey
One for my lil' rascal
One for my friends
One for my people
One for my home
One for the me that died with them
****Based off that one scene in the quest where Boothill ordered seven shots but only took a sip from each, the imaginary angst set in real quick after reading that lmaooo
Also I don't know much about the specifics of alcohol so some of this might sound inaccurate if you know mixology and/or bartending oof I'm sorry T^T****
Yuu has a moment of self-reflection of sorts after contemplating about the overblot incidents, leading to homesickness and fear of losing memories. Cue Grim trying his best to comfort them.
When all was said and done, Yuu was glad that the guys made it out of their overblotted states. Were they wrong? Yeah but it was also hard not to feel bad for them. Of course Yuu had found the same routine of needing to stop somebody's overblot annoying to do, but at the end of it, they were glad to see things get resolved. Glad...but also sad.
It was hard to admit after seeing all the times the guys had others look after them when the blot had dissipated. There were always people there to bring them back home.
The red tyrant...
The lion...
The sea witch...
The cobra...
The fair queen...
The watchman...
The dragon...
They all had people fighting to bring them out of their manic states. Were they all good friends? Not exactly, but they definitely had special bonds that the Prefect could see even if nobody else could. While some were very close, others were closer than strangers but perhaps a bit too distant to be called "friends".
All Yuu could think about was their old world and the people that were left behind. Sure, they made many friends here along the way and they have been here for quite some time, but they couldn't stay in Twisted Wonderland forever. It's not as if they chose to leave their old family & friends behind in the first place. Homesickness had reared its ugly head when they thought about their loved ones both here and back there.
The smiles on their parents' faces, warm hands hugging them, their friends' cheers at their competitions...
"Myahaha! What's wrong, my henchman? Surely the great Grim can solve your problem! Is your stomach hurting?" The direbeast sauntered his way to Yuu who was currently curled up on the sofa in a blanket while lost in thought. One short breath in and one long breath out, maybe it was time to stop keeping it in...
"I-I'm scared, Grim. I know Crowley said he'd find a way...but what if there's no way home for me? I was dragged here by the Dark Mirror even though I have no magic. I...I'm so scared, Grim. I'm starting to forget things. I don't know if the overblot incidents got to me and jumbled up some of my memories. It's just- I can't stop this fear of forgetting my old life. There's probably something that can fix my foggy memories of my old life, but even if I do find a way home, what'll happen to my memories of you and everybody else here? Will you all disappear...just like a dream? I already lost my family and friends once, I don't want to go through that again when I go home."
Lips trembling and eyes watering, Yuu laid bare their worries which gnawed at their soul for quite some time now.
".......I'm sorry, Yuu."
Grim initially was laying down on the sofa next to them. He then rose up from his position to squeeze himself into their arms underneath the comfy blanket. He gave off strong purrs which provided much comfort to them.
"I don't know much about traveling worlds a-and I'll be real sad to see you go home but...MRAHHHH I DON'T WANNA BE SAD AND SAPPY!!!!"
Yuu couldn't help but chuckle at his outburst. "Yeah, I didn't think you'd want to be sappy ever."
"I don't know how much help I'll be when it comes to sending you back- n-not that I'm saying that I'm not powerful, that's not it! Hmmmm...if it makes you feel better, the idiots and I'll be by your side while you're still here!"
"Thank you, Grim. That does mean a lot to me."
A comfortable silence fell upon Ramshackle Dorm that night and Yuu was able to sleep well with Grim nearby. Being both exhausted in mind and soul, Yuu was rest assured with the promise of another tomorrow in Twisted Wonderland.
They say that home is not a place but the people whom you love.
If only words were enough to tell you how much I wish I could return to you.
I see you in the twinkling stars of another world, in the clear river bank that trickles alongside the passing seasons,
in the breeze that carries voices that I can almost hear, in the rays of sunlight that caress my cheeks with warmth,
in the magic of this world, if only all of this could convey how badly I miss you.
If fate were kind, my two worlds would meet together not unlike a gentle kiss, if only life could be fair...
Whether I'm here or back there, I'll always be thinking of home.
****This is my first fanfic ever and it was really fun for me to write even though I was still emotional over Book 7 (still am ngl) 😂 hope y'all enjoy it :3
With Boothill out now, I’ve been very intrigued by the Boothill & Argenti duo which I’ve noticed so many details that are similar but also different about them, some of which many people may have already noticed but I still would like to analyze them since it’s been a hot minute since my last lore thread
The main aspects of these 2 characters that I want to talk about are their gameplay, characteristics, and lore/backstories
When we look at their gameplay, some details stand out; for example, both have the same element (physical) but opposite paths when it comes to their DPS roles (Boothill is Hunt which specializes in single target fights & Argenti is Erudition which specializes in dealing dmg to multiple enemies)
Their weapons are also opposites of each other where guns are ranged & the lance is typically used in close combat
This is more of a coincidence which I tweeted about recently but I still think it’s funny that their best-in-slot relics can be found in the same cavern of corrosion
Next we’ll look at their characteristics by which I mean their personalities & designs; off the bat we can see that Boothill has a more gruff personality & if he weren’t censored by his synesthesia beacon, he would be the sole reason for bumping HSR to a higher audience rating; this man probably would not hold back on the expletives 😂)
Meanwhile Argenti is shown to be very kind with his words, often using compliments & praises; typically he speaks with levelheadedness & grace, just like how we imagine a knight would speak
If we think about it, Boothill & Argenti are both very flamboyant characters but in different fonts; just look at their demo trailers as references since they both move like dancers (Argenti looks like he’s in a graceful ballroom dance while he’s fighting the swarm disaster; Boothill straight up MOONWALKS while dodging bullets from the IPC, we literally went from Marilyn Monroe to Michael Jackson 😂)
What accentuates their flamboyance even more is the way they both have spotlights on them at various points of their demo videos
Bonus shot of Boothill being so extra (read: fabulous) while fighting:
They also have very flamboyant designs which makes them stand out (as Boothill explains, they’re both clad in silver which definitely is one of the first things you would notice when looking at them); I don't know how much value silver has in this universe but it is considered a precious metal & valuable to us due to its many uses which is thanks to its malleable nature
Another thing to point out is that Argenti is based off the Latin word for silver argentum; fun fact, the Latin translation is the reason why the symbol for silver on the periodic table is Ag :3
I feel like their color palettes are a bit similar (silver, red, black) but they also have varying degrees for shared colors, specifically red & black; from a visual standpoint, this goes very well because Argenti having more red helps to emphasize his association to roses & Boothill having more black helps to emphasize his identity as “death” (well, for the IPC at least)
Moving onto their lore, although Argenti doesn’t have lines about Boothill, we do get lines about Argenti from Boothill himself; based on Boothill’s voicelines, we can assume that he holds some respect for Argenti as someone to whom he can relate
Their backstories are quite similar when we take a closer look at them
For example, they both have experiences where they lost their homes & the people important to them (damn, HYV really said you’re gonna suffer 💀)
Their respective factions are both noted to be groups of solitary people
Interestingly the factions have different reputations according to the data bank where the Knights of Beauty are looked down upon & the Galaxy Rangers are seen as heroes which may be a bit different from what we’re used to since knights normally have a positive connotation as people who hold chivalry as one of their most important values
Their goals are similar in the way that they both are looking for a specific person or entity: Boothill is looking for Oswaldo Schneider (who is responsible for the loss of his family & home; we might possibly meet him soon since we ended off 2.2 with the cliffhanger where Boothill confronts Aventurine to ask him where Oswaldo is) & Argenti is looking for Idrila the Beauty
They also have their critical turning points in their respective Character Story Part 3 portions
Boothill’s portion talks about his transformation into a cyborg & his adoption of the name “Boothill” which he explains is what they called gunslingers who ended up dead; it is a clear representation of his old self having died along with his loved ones & his home when the IPC destroyed everything
Argenti’s portion talks about his journey as a new Knight of Beauty & the obstacles he faced after having met the knight that was mentioned in his Part 2; here we see his transformation into a Knight of Beauty & his dedication to the path he walks
Before I had mentioned silver being an important part of their designs; here I think is where we see the importance of silver the best (since silver is a malleable material, it can change its meaning for both characters based on their situations)
To reiterate, becoming a cyborg by replacing his body w/ silver represents Boothill saying goodbye to his old self who knew of happier times & his loved ones; for Argenti, the silver that he wears is a sign of his devotion to Idrila the Beauty
What ties their differences so well in my eyes is that silver acts as a symbol of Boothill’s & Argenti’s resolve to accomplish their goals (silver may be malleable but it still can be strong metal & it’s even better since Argenti does talk about his will/faith being unbreakable)
I truly love their dynamic as complementary foils & I really hope that we’ll be able to see more interactions between them in the future since we just only have Boothill’s voicelines about Argenti but considering their goals, it probably won’t happen, at least not any time soon
Let me just say that I only cooked this idea up after listening to Boothill’s demo trailer on repeat…..a normal amount, I’m so normal about him 🙂🙂🙂🙂
