iCarly is my dad

my name is corey and this blog is, as the French would say, garbage.

[fu-boss]

Real life Road Runner

[sahonithereadwolf]

Looney Tunes is real and happening outside.

[dancing-crow]

good lord its feet really do spin around in a circle when going fast

[vadergf]

I feel like someone is standing next to me talking about how I'm dead

[rudolphsboyfriend]

The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability

[bisexualalexmercer]

tumblr may have censored porn but check this out

i hope Elon musk KILLS himself and DIES a thousand DEATHS. and i hope every other billionaire a very merry DIE DIE DEATH KILL MURDER DEATH KILL

[the-trash-eating-llama]

[animatedtext]

[l3ominor]

[malibuklaus]

[coolartreblogspace]

[kaseylgifford]

When the Riddle is bad

[glamrockmike]

are you five nights at fucking kidding me

[fagsex]

[sexygaywizard]

[iguanamouth]

I really like winnie the pooh, Can you draw winnie the pooh pleaseeeeee

[thetyrannosaur]

Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

[skiingcows]

#really cannot emphasize enough how much iguanamouth changed the site’s sense of humor and therefore the timeline of the western world

[dorothylarouge]

[ohevoyev]

sorry. what the fuck was that?

[koko2unite]

he gaggy on my rogers until I whoopsy-doo

[seabassapologist]

[weiwei-uplink]

[theehorsepusssy]

[wxnna9]

@meowsapow this cannot remain in tags

[apollos-boyfriend]

the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire

icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down

cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)

feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated

[sherbertilluminated]

Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.

[thearrogantemu]

Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.

[theoppositeofprofound]

Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures

[lierdumoa]

Pandorean task: some people fucked around and now it's your job to make sure they find out

[itseasytoremember]

Orphesian Task: a task that seems simple but is designed to be impossible for the one tasked with it

[stickthisbig]

Dionysian Task: the plot of any stoner movie about trying to piece together what happened last night

[a-thornbush-full-of-roses]

@raptorkin

[raptorkin]

I love these all so much (even though I am often engaged in Cassandraean tasks)

[sirfrogsworth]

Hey, here is some new frustrating discourse.

I'm going to clear this up super duper quick.

And then we can move on and discuss more important things.

Okay?

Here goes...

Nicolas Cage is an incredible actor who is very bad with money so he has to act in terrible movies because otherwise they will repossess his dinosaur skull collection.

But even when he is in terrible movies with terrible writing he refuses to phone in his performances. And sometimes when you are acting your ass off while saying some of the dumbest dialogue ever conceived it can give the appearance the acting is the issue rather than the writing and story.

Hayden Christensen knows that feeling all too well.

So next time you see Nic Cage in a B movie acting a fool, just know he probably bought some new shrunken heads and forgot to pay the mortgage on his volcano island.

[brilliantpines]

do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that

[brilliantpines]

is anybody out there

[kora-kat]

Bonus under cut

[robotpussy]

i will never be against piracy ever but i also need physical media to remain

[robotpussy]

the average blockbuster carried about 3x as many films than that that are streaming on Netflix or any other streaming service, physical media along with piracy is more important than ever.

[rottenbrainstuff]

I thought this wasn’t true, because how could it be true? How could one small store have more movies than an online database? So I googled it.

I am surprised and depressed to learn it’s 100% true, according to google. A Blockbuster store was required to have a minimum of 7000 titles, but most averaged about 10,000. Netflix has 4000 movies. (And 1800 tv shows if you want to count those, but even included, it’s still less)

Now I’m even more depressed about the collapse of physical rental stores.

[siphersaysstuff]

BONUS: They weren't beholden to Who Owns What IP Right Now. They got videos from everyone. You didn't have to pay separately for the rights to rent from the Disney Shelves and the WB Shelves and bler bler bler, and they only STOPPED having those movies when the tapes broke or someone never returned 'em.

[pepperoni-oni]

friendly reminder that your local library will have lots of physical media and if they don't have what you're looking for you can most likely ask them to purchase it or order it from another library through interlibrary loan

[bogappreciation]

Shoutout to Scarecrow Video- they have over 148,000 titles, most of which you can rent by mail. Rentals have been down in the last few years so they're asking for support!