KATIE MAYE ♡

lil writer in a big ol' world add me on snapchat because I have no real friends: kmaye25011

[tunisian]

i wish my longing didnt consume me as much as it does

[tunisian]

Mahmoud Darwish, from The Butterfly's Burden; "Maybe, Because Winter Is Late" (tr. from the Arabic by Fady Joudah) - via @luthienne

oh…

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}

[crittre-moved-deactivated202410]

AAAAAAHHHHHH AGONY!!!!! AGONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways hehe how is everyone

[thegoodvybe]

[extramadness]

[s0ultrippn]

Somebody make my cat a meme please. 😂😂

[s0ultrippn]

I suppose it’s just time for me to stop fighting for someone who is completely okay with losing me.

[s0ultrippn]

The worst kind of pain is getting hurt by someone who you explained your pain to.

-It was foolish of me to think that you would be different.

[s0ultrippn]

I kissed someone else today. Your mouth always tasted like spearmint gum, but I needed a new taste. I needed to remind myself that you’re not the only guy in the world, and I needed to be okay with that. His mouth tastes like vanilla and cigarettes- I’ve never taken a liking to cigarettes, but he made it taste mesmerizing.

-Maybe this is how I’ll get over you.

[s0ultrippn]

You called me tonight, and my heart just about lept out from my chest. Even just writing this after the fact still makes my heart clench with confusion, love, hurt, and hope all in one. With shaky hands I answered the phone, and I heard your voice. All you said was a simple, “Hello?” and I instantly felt my throat burn with threatening tears. It felt so good, yet so terrible, to hear your voice again. Good, because it brought me back to the way things used to be. Terrible, because I know things will never be that way ever again. I managed to swallow the lump in my throat at some point, and you told me you just wanted to check in on me, see how I’m doing, just like last week when you texted me. But this time, it was different. This time, I heard your voice- the real you. Where no emotion can be hidden like it can over text message. It was refreshing and heartbreaking at the same time. All I wanted was to hear you say “Hi, baaabyyy!!! I missed you!” Just like you used to do. Instead, we kept the small talk, like two strangers who never had any romantic relations whatsoever. You didn’t sound like the man I know. Your voice sounded so flat, so devoid of emotion. It was a very strange thing, to hear you like that. I know you’re going through a lot. I just wish you would’ve let me be there for you through it all. I wish you never would’ve pushed me away. I keep trying to tell myself it was for the best, but how could losing someone you love and care about ever truly be ‘for the best?’ Maybe for you, it was. You told me that you finally found your new passion in life. Then, you told me that before you found that passion that you felt as if you were going nowhere. You felt lost. My heart sunk, because I thought what we had together was enough. I thought we could go through life’s up’s and down’s together. I thought I could be there for you and cheer you on, stand by your side and hold your hand through it all. Why wasn’t I enough for you? Why do you keep talking to me, getting my hopes up that maybe you’ve changed your mind? It hurts so much to be hearing from you. But I know it’ll hurt even more to completely let you go. I just wish I knew what you want from me. I feel as if I’m standing right in front of you, my heart held in my hand, outstretched towards you with tears flooding my eyes, ready and willing for you to take it back. But you only rip off one piece at a time, keeping that piece for a moment and getting my hopes up, but then putting it right back into the palm of my hand, more broken and confused than before.

-I still have no idea if you’ll ever want me back.

[s0ultrippn]

I think the saddest thing about our story is knowing that we would’ve been forever lovers, like we always promised. We would’ve made our relationship work, through the best times and through the hard times, just like we always promised. No matter what. I knew we would- I could feel it deep in my bones. We had the most amazing connection, not like one I’ve ever felt before. We both knew that we were the ones for each other. At least, I knew. You must’ve been lying, because somewhere along the line, completely out of the blue, you decided to give up. It hurts so much, because you did exactly what you said you would never do. You turned on everything we built together. I remember telling you the night that you broke up with me in my driveway, “If you cared about me like I care about you, you would fight for me, for our relationship. But you aren’t.” To which you responded with, “The last thing I want to do is hurt you.” I said, “it’s too late for that”, and I walked away from you, when all I really wanted to do was run into your arms, or wake up from the nightmare I wish I was having. So I suppose it’s clear now, I was right every time I told you that I loved you more. You always denied it and said you loved me more, but now I know you must’ve never truly loved me to begin with.

-It’s the most impossible pill to swallow.

[s0ultrippn]

You texted me today. I haven’t heard from you in nearly a month - so you can imagine my surprise when I saw your name pop up on my phone screen. For a split second, I was brought back into our own little world. Our world where nothing had changed, you still loved me, still called me every day after you got off of work, still wanted a future with me. And for that short moment, things felt normal again. All from seeing your name on my phone screen. I felt a surge of hope, that maybe, just maybe, you’ve been missing me like I’ve been missing you, that maybe you were going to tell me how stupid you were and how sorry, and how badly you want to take everything you said back. How silly of me to be so naive. How insane am I for instantly putting all of my trust in you again, even after you chewed me up and spit me out in the absolute worst way? You asked me how I was doing. I lied, told you I was doing okay, then asked you the same question. You said you were doing alright, and that was that. I felt the ache in my chest as I realized that you are nothing but a stranger to me now, a shell of a person who used to love me unconditionally and without a doubt. But did you ever really love me? This is a question that constantly races in my mind - because after all, how could you love someone, and then leave them completely blindsided with no real explanation as to why? Sometimes, I wish I never would’ve met you. But at the same time, I’m so grateful that I did. However, I would never wish this pain upon anyone. I miss you so much. It’s almost as if I’m grieving over a lost loved one. I wish you felt the same.

[s0ultrippn]

how can you want someone back in your life with such a burning passion, but at the same time never want to see them or hear from them ever again?

- you still make me go crazy and you’re not even here anymore

[s0ultrippn]

I remember when you told me, “I’m going to raise your standards so much that you’ll never be able to find someone else.” back then, I found it romantic. now, I see the true meaning behind those words. of course I’ll never be able to find someone else, because you took every standard I had and ripped them in two, along with every piece of myself that I stupidly gave to you. how ironic.

- I should have known better.

[s0ultrippn]

Cute Texts The Love of My Life Sends Me: Vol. 1

My Angel, My One True Love, My Babygirl- Just a few of the many things you are to me. I don't know if you believe me when I say it, but you are absolutely, without a doubt, the love of my life. I can say with 100% honesty that I have never loved someone as completely as I love you. Over this past month I have had the amazing opportunity to get to know you and your wonderful family and I couldn't be happier. They have welcomed me with open arms and I am so glad for that, family is important to me and being a part of your's is a goal for me. Though, don't get me started on the girl I had the opportunity to fall in love with.. You are already my rock, from day freaking one you've had my back and I don't think there will ever be a day that you let me fall. You are such a kind, funny, sweet, sexy, and intelligent woman and I could not possibly ask for a better lover or bestfriend. I goto sleep and I wake up thinking about you. I text you as soon as I can, even though I'm notorious for not texting back. The phone calls are a dream in itself, I get to hear your laugh.. I love that laugh.. You and I can talk for hours; days if we had the option! Lol You are such a hottie and I can't wait to see what OUR future holds. I love you with all of me - Sincerely, Your Cheesy Man. ❤

[s0ultrippn]

I really fucking miss you and it kills me knowing that you will never feel the same way

[mydruggedthoughts]

if you’ve ever laid in bed and cried so hard to the point where you had to cover your mouth so you didn’t make any noise, i’m so sorry

[s0ultrippn]

this pulled on my heart strings so hard, i actually felt the physical pain in my chest as i read it.