my therapist is giving up on me.
she says i'm not trying. she's worried, doesn't know if she's helping anymore. she reduced my sessions to every other week instead of weekly. i think it's because i'm wasting her time.
but that's fair. i find comfort in the s!ckness. pain is predictable, especially when it's s3lf infl!cted. happiness leads to disappointment, and trust leads to abandonment. but i can always trust my own two hands to ru!n me before anyone else gets the chance.
isn't it safer to choose the pain you know than to risk the hope you don't? and s3lf d3struct!on is the easiest choice of all. you know how you'll be hurt, and deep down, you know why.
the ache feels real, and i just want to feel again.
bl00d is far warmer than false promises.