Discover Top Posts Tagged with #shtmblr

Genuinely curious what happened with me when I was 13-17 and i KINDA want to be this low again

#hell is a teenage girl #edtumbr #shtmblr #psychosis

*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡*ﾟﾟ･｡

Me getting ready every morning to go to the psychiatric hospital (´-ω-`) :

#menhera chan #shtmblr #tw self destruction #hospital #cutecore #jojifuku #jirai girl #jirai lifestyle #my melody #neko girl

I just cvt my wrists for the first time in ages. Ive been forced to stay clean the past few months. It actually felt heavenly, I just sat there and closed my eyes while feeling the bl00d drip down my wrist. It felt like I was floating, Ive genuinly never felt euphoria like this before. Oh how I love cvtting 🪽

#shedtmblr #tw shtwt #tw sh related #shtmblr #sh trigger #shtblr #bleedingangel

Mentally Ill Teen (TW SH)

I just kind of block out sections of my life and forget about them until I am talking to someone. Its not that I completely forget them but more like a switch was flipped and I became a different person for a period of time amd all those memories are suppressed for a bit.

I have been talking to my bf about things I did in high-school and only now by speaking it out loud to another person am I seeing how unhinged I was.

*Before I go any further, this is not meant to encourage any type of self-destructive behavior I am about to talk about.*

I was never officially diagnosed with an ed because I never talked about it or sought medical/mental help for it. This is partly because while I was in the midst of it, I would dismiss things to not acknowledge what was happening. Most of what I would do was the standard binge, purge, omad, fast, starve, whatever, but when I mentioned drinking cups of warm salty water, my bf was like wtf. I had never thought of it as like an excessive way of purging but looking back on it, I guess it was.

This next bit I am highly ashamed I ever had these thoughts and don't talk about irl because I know just how bad it sounds and knew how bad it was when it was happening. I essentially had a very loose idea to commit a school shooting in my freshman year (2018), but not to physically harm others. I never set things into motion. I had a lot going on at the time and felt that the people who had hurt me deserved to see the anguish they caused me. Being the edge lord I was, I wanted to shoot myself in front of my math class. This is kinda funny to me now because bitch you just couldn't do math and were gonna kill yourself in a math class, like be so fr. (I understand if anyone has questions about this section and will gladly answer anything as long as things wre kept respectful.)

The main thing that leads me to make this post was prompted by his reaction of my sh stories. One night I hit beans for the first time and literally just rolled over in bed onto that side of my body and just laid there thinking "well I should probably get stitches but I could also just bleed out while going to sleep." (I didn't get stitches because no one found out but I do have to watch it like 7? years later because it feels like its opening up from the inside again sometimes.)

Another thing was about how I would do the sh. I vividly remember being in sophomore year (like 2018-2019), getting out of my 2nd block chemistry class for break, going to a different building's bathroom, and going ham on my thigh before 3rd block history. I would sit in chem just sitting and stewing on whatever it was that made me panic that day and fantasizing about when the bell would ring. I couldn't get to the bathroom quick enough. I had a special stall and would do it in a spot that had extra fabric from the pocket liner in my jeans so no blood would come through the toilet paper or jeans. Then I would just go to class with my friends like nothing had happened. That and I obviously just had a pencil sharpener blade on me at all times either in my backpack, phonecase, or both which no one ever questioned.

Crazy the stuff you can get away with when you aren't paid attention to. Anyway, here's the song that I listened to nearly daily in freshman year.